Gag Me Please!

by Massao na Mizu

Summary: Kaoru is so confused! One time, Aoshi was her best friend's big brother. Then, her new close friend. Then, the going-to-be-best-man in her wedding with said crush. But now she's real confused... What was Aoshi Shinomori doing in a bed naked..? With here?! [AU]

I know, it's cliché, but all the other pairings have one! I thought we Aoshi/Kaoru lovers should make one too! Read and Review!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Rurouni Kenshin Characters. The others that aren't in the story, they are mine.

Imp!!! This does not mean I'm not continuing the Sorrow Mingled Tears. In fact, I've done some of the chaps and I'm editing them. it would take a long time since I'm very busy. Pray for me to pass my tests with flying colors, please guys! Or else I won't be able to update any of my stories! Oh and, making Aoshi/Kaoru fics does not mean I don't support the K/K pairing. I love it. I really do. I just have a thing for alternate pairings.

Load Down: (Or Whatever You May Call it in your Country...)

Aoshi Shinomori--Lawyer (25)

Kaoru Kamiya--Senior Student at the University of Tokyo (21)

Misao Makimachi--Junior at the same University (20)

Sanosuke Sagara-- Chairman of the Kamiya Corporation of Dojos... (23)

Kenshin Himura--Very very rich businessman (29)

Megumi Takani--doctor (24)

Tomoe Yukishiro--will not be appearing always, but will play in important role in this story(27)

Yahiko Myojin--Junior at the University of Tokyo, Half-brother of Kaoru 20

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Prologue

I'll tell you something I have never confided to anyone before--not even to my best friend Misao. Something that shouldn't be plaguing my mind now that I'm nine months away from my wedding with Kenshin. Something I am guilty of until now...

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I have a big crush on Aoshi Shinomori.

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Yes, that's right. Misao's half-brother. Misao's super handsome, gorgeous, smart, kind, nice, quiet, talented in everything, etc etc half-brother.

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Don't get me wrong. I love Kenshin very much. In fact, that is why I'm going to marry him. But still, Aoshi was my first crush and I couldn't help but think: If Aoshi saw me in my beautiful wedding gown and me beautiful as ever, would he be jealous that it was not him waiting for me near the sacred altar?

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Sigh. Me and my fantasies. But I can't help it! I just can't! I've been crushing on him ever since I can remember. When I was first invited by Misao to spend the day with her on her house... And he opened the door for me, (he was about fourteen and I was ten) and his short, stylish, boyish hair was very neat and silky black. And his dark cerulean eyes almost like my own looked upon me...

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I fell for him.

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Not that I ever got the nerve to tell him.

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That after that encounter, I would try to hang out with Misao as much as possible. That every time I slept over, I silently tried to find him and talk to him while he was sitting on his computer chair, typing away with his great-looking hand supporting his head by his cheek. How laid-back and intact he looked...That maybe I'd see a glimpse of him walking down their stairs without a shirt on (I've succeeded when I was fifteen)

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I told you I shouldn't be thinking of all this.

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It was not a weird thing for anyone to fall in love with him. In fact, most girls ARE in love with him. They swoon over him and jam the telephone line to their house to make prank calls, trying to hear his sexy, manly voice. That I secretly cherished the time when he was seventeen and I was thirteen when he tapped my shoulder and said, "Kaoru, can you pass the chopsticks?"

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Okay, not really anything romantic to say...but I was young.

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I held my breath as I saw the flashbacks on my mind, even if my eyes were wide open, trying to drive the impure, unfaithful thoughts away and yet trying to make them as vivid as I could.

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I closed my eyes tight. Breathe. A light tap on my shoulder retrieved me from my reverie. I smiled at Kenshin as he asked, "Are you alright, Kaoru-chan?" He asked politely and gently.

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I nodded my head, "Ah, Kenshin-kun. I'm quite alright. I was just... reflecting..." Don't ask me anymore for I feel guilty as it is... I thought to myself.

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"If you say so, Kaoru-chan," Kenshin said, returning back to his food. I sighed and looked around the restaurant. It was really exotic-looking for we were on vacation on a resort near the beach. There were few people so you could really relax with your loved ones.

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With us were Misao and Aoshi, and Megumi and Sanosuke. It was summer break in Senior's year and Junior so Misao and I could make it. Aoshi took a leave on his firm, Megumi wanted a break from the hospital and Sano... well, Sano is the Chairman of the Kamiya Corporation so he had to tag along. And Kenshin... he's just relaxing. He didn't brag at all and seemed to know every inch of the resort. Probably because he owns it.

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It's really a mystery how we end up with each other and if you asked me how we met, it's such a blurry thing I'd rather not remember. It was very humiliating for me and quite amusing for Kenshin. -_-;;

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I looked at my food which consists of some shrimp that I didn't know how it was cooked and rice and iced tea and some veggies. On my left was a napkin and a fork. On my right was a knife and a spoon. Good thing I lived in San Francisco once so I'm quite familiar with using these utensils.

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"Itadakimasu," I whispered to myself, clapping my hands together in silent prayer. I put the napkin on my lap, looking over Sano who was putting it on like a baby's bib. Megumi scooted farther from him, but did not try to tell Sano how to use it properly. I sweat dropped. Apparently, Megumi seems to be entertaining herself by making fun of the ignorant Sano. I blushed, feeling embarrassed for my friend and whispered to him, "Sano, you put it on your lap."

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He gave me a confused look and said, "What for? Isn't it used so that your shirt would get stained?" I massaged my temples and sighed. Kenshin saw the predicament and coughed to get Sano's attention.

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"Please just put it the right way, Sano," he said in a nice guy tone so calmed, composed that I had to smile and gaze at him. I must have looked dreamy because I felt eyes upon me and saw Misao smirking mischievously whilst staring at me while Aoshi's dark blue eyes seemed to express his hilarity so I rolled my eyes at them both, grinning.

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Of course, over the past years, Aoshi and I have bonded and became close. But he and Kenshin will always be closer for they were best friends even before I met him and Misao

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While we were eating, a woman approached us, clad only in a two piece green bikini and a shawl tied loosely on her hips. She had strawberry red lipstick that was quite unappealing for it didn't matched with her outfit and some blush on. Even because of the color conflict, her face was real pretty and she wasn't soggy at all. You can say she's pretty.

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"Long time no see, Kenshin," she greeted him in a sultry voice that sent bad chills on my spine. 'I don't like this girl', I thought to myself eyeing her. Kenshin seemed surprised and it seemed to me as if all the noise in the restaurant was silenced. Misao and Aoshi were both looking at the woman also Megumi and Sano whom were previously having a disagreement. "How are you?"

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"Tomoe-san, this is a pleasant surprise," his eyes were focused on hers and it was as if the words he just said was hard to say that it hurt his throat. "I'm fine, and you?"

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She smiled, not showing any of her teeth, my eyes darted towards Kenshin who has totally forgotten about me. I felt jealousy coursing through my veins. "I'm fine too."

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I cut in the conversation. "Kenshin-kun?" I questioningly said, putting on an impeccable innocent curiosity expression on my face. He looked at me, his eyebrows raising as if this was the only time he realized I was there. I held my breath and counted to ten, trying to be composed.

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He looked somewhat guilty. From the corner of my eyes, I saw the girl's lips twitch as if she was suppressing a smirk. "She's... She's Toyama Tomoe." She made a little bow and I inclined my head half a centimeter and forced a smile on my face.

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"Nice to meet you, Toyama-san," I politely said.

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"The pleasure's all mine," she said, smiling in a way that insulted me.

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"My! That's a man's words!" Megumi gave a gasp and she might have thought was a whisper to Sano. Tomoe didn't even turn to Megumi to reply.

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There was silence. Kenshin didn't even try to introduce Tomoe to our friends. It was all up to Tomoe to make a conversation. "I heard that this is your resort," she said finally.

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Megumi again leaned on Sano and whispered [loud enough for the whole table to hear]. "My! She must be one of those fans of Kenshin's that thinks they'll get a free pass if they knew him! Probably has no money to pay for the resort fee!" She giggled and I had to look behind me to hind my grin. Sano let out a chuckle, Misao almost choke on her drink and Aoshi remained emotionless.

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Kenshin ignored Megumi's comment and answered Tomoe's statement-like-question. "Yes, I do." He said softly. Aoshi's eyes raised to level with mine and he just... stared at me, obviously wanting to say something. Too bad I didn't know Morse code.

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"Well, I reserved two suites for me and my friends. I said that each suite was to have four beds. Now when I came here an hour ago, the rude manager said that I didn't say that I wanted four beds on each suite." She pouted. "Help me please?"

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"Why not ask one of the high people? Why Kenshin?" Misao asked her. Tomoe's lips pursed as if she was annoyed.

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"I couldn't find anyone who could help me," she answered flatly.

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"Uhm, can this wait after we've eaten? It's actually impolite to interrupt our dinner," I said nonchalantly. It was obvious enough in my voice I was annoyed. Kenshin patted my shoulder with a sigh and a smile.

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"That's okay, Kaoru-chan. I'm not that hungry anyway. Please continue dinner without me." He stood up, leaving us to eat. Tomoe had a triumphant smile playing on her lips.

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I was so annoyed that I grabbed Kenshin's plate and let it slide and spoil the plants on my left and stated eating again; not raising my eyes to meet my friends' eyes.

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"Calm down, Jou-chan. This isn't your usual behavior." Sano tried to calm me down and comfort me.

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"If I were you, I would've punched the girl and kissed Kenshin right on the lips!" Misao said, putting her fist on her chest.

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Without taking her eyes away from her food, Megumi made a comment. "It's not actually all the girl's fault. it was Kenshin's decision if he would let himself be lured."

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Surprisingly, Aoshi spoke. "I agree. In fact, a manager can't really get angry for there are still a lot of free suites with four beds. He wouldn't have chased away the guests." Every nodded in agreement.

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"Sigh. So much for a relaxing vacation. And to think we're nine months away from our wedding," I grumbled to myself, chewing on my food. It was hard to feel at ease when you know your fiancé might be somewhere with a woman who doesn't have virtue a and that would seduce Kenshin away. "I just hope I don't hear bedroom voices or see them naked on a bed." My friends chuckled and some giggled.

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"Kenshin wouldn't do that," Misao said faithfully. She admired Kenshin as a big brother and respected him as an individual.

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For some reason, Aoshi stopped eating or moving. He knew something about this but I was afraid of what he would reveal so I kept quiet. I bit on my food and ordered some sake. I wouldn't want to remember this.

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"Damn plot," I muttered under my breath. Misao looked at me quizzically.

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"What was that?" She asked. I shook my head, filled my glass with some sake until it was over pouring and gulped it all in at once that it had the desired effect of making me feel dizzy.

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"Drink with me," Misao, Megumi and Sano looked at each other, reluctant to follow my request. But Aoshi, being opposite to my got the big bottle of sake and filled his own glass. Sango was next, with a words, "Oh, what the heck." And Megumi daintily poured her glass half and Misao got as much as I did.

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"To our happiness," I said drowsily and we clinked out glasses and gulped it all in.

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I couldn't remember much of what happened next. All I remember was that after that, Aoshi was trying to help me walk to my suite when we heard noises coming from another suite. I pressed my ear to the door.

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"Mm... Kenshin..." A woman's voice moaned out. I froze.

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"Tomoe..." A very familiar voice groaned. I gritted my teeth, stepping away and positioning myself to break the door, but Aoshi's arm went to my waist and another on my shoulders. He tightened his hold to get me so close to him I was breathing his breath.

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"Shhh, don't do it," he whispered, smelling me--making himself familiar to my scent. I eyes fluttered closed as my arms went to his and leaned on him. He kissed my neck and I let him.

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After that, I could faintly remember getting pushed at a door and getting French-kissed by Aoshi's great lips and great kissing abilities engulfed me. My arms were around his neck and one of his hand were going up, up, up my thigh.

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I closed my eyes and re-opened them because of the bright sunshine. But it was not the only thing that greeted me. It was the face of a slumbering Aoshi, breathing on my face and pulling me tighter to him.

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I closed them again, light-headed as I felt, hoping this was just a dream.

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[End of Prologue]

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