TITLE: Finding Our Wings. Chapter one, Letters from Someone.

AUTHOR: Me the Charmer

SPOILERS: Canonically correct up till the end of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

RATING: PG-13

SUMMARY: Life continues on after 5th year, but with Voldemort about, there no time for those left behind to learn and cope. Harry and Cho both try to deal with their losses, and help each other find themselves along the way. Romances develop late in the story and the past is brought up. Not you usual love story, the final pairings? You'll never guess ;). Give you a clue: Not- CC/HP. Rated PG-13 For reference to slashy feelings between minor characters, and perhaps for swearing.

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all the characters associated with it are the property solely of J. K. Rowling, her agents and publishers. No infringement of any rights is intended from the creation of this story. No money being made from it.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Most of you should have noticed, that the title of this chapter is an adaptation of the title of Chapter two from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's (or Sorcerer's) Stone. I also have no Beta reader so feel free to tell me if you se any mistakes.

Author's Notes: This story will be told from the point of view Harry Potter and Cho Chang. I've tried my best to 'water-down' Depressed-Harry as much as possible, I'm also trying to keep Cho in the story. This Chapter is pretty short, it was intended to be part of a very, very, very long prologue, but as you can see that didn't happen. Oh, please DO Review, but I'm not going to stop writing if I don't get any reviews (if I do stop, it'll be for other reasons). I'm not a glory hog.

A mouse ran under a dried leaf. Never noticing the white owl that flew quietly by. Hedwig had noticed the mouse of course; any decent owl would have. But she had barely glanced at him before continuing on her unbroken flight.

The sky had begun to darken and Hedwig noted the familiar neat rows of glowing lights in the houses below. Nearing her destination, She landed softly on a shrivelled branch, smoothed her ruffled feathers and pecked wistfully at the parchment tied firmly around her leg.

She hoped that this letter would be the one to cheer Harry Potter up. She had often found the boy half dead on the bed, after hours of taking out his anger and pain through house work. Hedwig thought it was a very silly thing to do of course. But found even her most valiant efforts useless in wiping the frown of her friend's face.

Once she had been so annoyed that she bit his finger hard so that it bled. Harry had seemed almost oblivious until he stroked her feathers and saw the smear of red. Hedwig decided she was sorry for loosing her temper and brought back to him the largest rat she could find. He hadn't even touched it until it began to smell and the boy's aunt came to yell at him to get rid of it.

The lights dimmed at the Dursley household. Hedwig, knowing its more detestable occupants had finally went to bed, lifted off of the brittle wood and soared up to a gloomy window. Harry was sitting in the semi darkness, stretched upon the bed as usual, flipping continuously through some curious sort of book. She tapped at the glass tentatively, and the window opened.

With a Heavy heart Harry laid the album down. He'd let Hedwig in, who greeted him with a concerned hoot before offering him her leg with a letter from Hermione. Hedwig had often been away since the day she'd offered him that rat but whenever she returned she had brought letters from at least one of his friends; even a few from professors Lupin and Dumbledore, which he couldn't bring himself to read.

He strongly suspected that She had been going on regular rounds to his friends for letters, going as far as Rome to search for Hermione in the week she'd went away. Hedwig had come back looking even more haggard than Mundungus Fletcher on a bad day and slept throughout the next two days before taking off again. Harry had felt hearted that Hedwig and his friends had been relentlessly trying to cheer him up. Even when he wrote back sparingly and when he did they were fairly short.

'I don't deserve all this' he thought dejectedly. As he sat forcing quill to parchment, to reassure his friends that he was all right. Truthfully he wasn't sure himself; every time Hedwig brought him new letters he felt his heart contort uncomfortably, knowing that there would be none from Sirius. He also knew that he had already spent too much time pouring through his photo album, as sorrow, regret, quilt and anger overwhelmed him. Anger is a strange feeling he thought, who is he to be angry at after all? Wasn't it his fault?

First he had been angry at Dumbledore, well not really, he had just been angry and Dumbledore was there. No, that wasn't it. 'Lestrange?' no she wasn't it either, no one can deny that she was completely insane, that kind of dampens the hate he would have felt towards her. 'Wormtail' yes he was definitely angry with Wormtail the man who betrayed his parents and brought the evil who killed them back again. A man who should have died that night at the Shrieking shack, and Sirius would have been free and alive, I should have killed him, he thought. If I could go back I would kill him...

No, that isn't true. Thinking back to that moment, Harry found that he didn't know what he'd do. Would I kill him? No, Wormtail wasn't worth bloodying his own or Sirius' and Remus' hands for, he is best left to Dementors, Nagani, or maybe even Voldermort.

Voldermort. He was angry at Voldermort; the man who'd killed his parents and landed him into living with his aunt and uncle. The beast who gave him the scar, which seared with pain and sent him dreams of torture. The monster who had killed others in cold blood and ruined countless lives. Everything good I'd ever had he'd taken Harry thought furiously. Sirius, Mum, Dad, a normal life; could I kill him?

The answer was Yes.

Harry awoke that Friday to a burning headache. He had dreamed that night again of the events in the department of mysteries. Reliving the fake dream that Voldermort had placed in his mind each night was definitely not restful. The first few nights Harry feared it was Voldermort sending him visions again, until he'd remember Sirius is already dead and his scar hadn't hurt at all.

He lay brooding on the bed, stroking the binding of the album absently. A sharp tap at the window signalling Hedwig's return shook him from his thoughts. It was odd that she was returning so early, as she'd obviously preferred returning at night to avoid confrontation with the Dursleys, and Hedwig was anything if not a bird of routine.

Curiously he opened the window for her. She was flanked by a dusty looking owl who peered at Harry's owl anxiously. It moved instantly to drink and Hedwig glared disapprovingly before it about-turned and offered Harry a letter tied neatly to its leg. Drinking hastily, the dusty owl stood awkwardly on the back of his chair for a minute before Hedwig nodded her consent and it took off in a flash, relaxing visibly one out of the proximity of Hedwig's authoritarian looks.

Harry turned the letter over; His name was written tidily in a small handwriting that he didn't recognise; he was intrigued, not many people wrote to him and the only letters he normally received are from Ron or Hermione. Summing it up to be from one of his housemates or last year's DA members he opened the letter. It turned out to be the latter.

Dear Harry

I hope this letter reaches you, there is so much I need to say, and some things I need to ask of you. First of all Harry, I'm sorry. I should have understood how important the DA was to you, that was insensitive of me. You were a great teacher and I really learned a lot during the time at the DA but it seems that I missed the most important lesson of all. When I joined the DA I just thought of it as an opportunity to get to know you and didn't realise how important it was to learn the skills to help us when the time calls for us to fight against You-Know-Who Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

I'd promised myself after Cedric's death that I would be there the next time you faced Voldermort or his followers and I wasn't there when you needed me this time. I SWEAR I'll be there for the next. I'm sorry that Umbridge had founded us out too, but please don't blame Marietta; she really didn't mean to. Maybe it'll be better for me to explain properly the next time we meet, she's a good person really, just trust me. Lastly I am sorry that we couldn't manage to be friends last year I guess I didn't really get to know you as well as I should have done, I realise that now. Especially since I don't even know where to address this letter that I've written to you. This owl (my sister's) is going to have right trouble finding you I guess.

Apologies aside, I think I ought to start trying to understand you better. Maybe I should start with a 'how are you' and talk a bit about the summer break.

So, how are you Harry? I hope your summer so far has been better than mine. I was very disappointed when my farther decided to cancel on visiting my relatives this break, but after the first week of lazing about he'd been steadily getting annoyed. I decided then to do something fun instead, and took up on some fencing.

I really think you'd like it, part of it is similar to wizard's duels, and I remember you to be quite a duellist. Maybe I could start a fencing club at Hogwarts, being a senior prefect and all. That reminds me, how did you do in your O.W.L.s? Surely you were great in Defence. Would you be continuing with the DA next year? It would really be a shame to see it end, especially if the next teacher is anything like Umbridge. I hope she won't be back next year, it's times like these when you really pray that the Defence Against the Dark Arts' curse holds strong. Lupin was a loss though of course, my first year teacher wasn't too bad either.

Oh there is one thing I'd like to ask of you though Harry, I was actually going to ask one of your friends first since you didn't seem keen to talk about it, but thought it would be better if I were to ask you directly. Could you tell me what exactly did happen in the Department of Mysteries? I understand if you don't want to talk to me but I hope you can forgive me. Please write back soon, or if you're not busy maybe we can meet up sometime?

Sincerely, Cho (Chang)

Ps. (Can you leave a return address so I can contact you properly? My address is on the back of this parchment.)

Harry's initial response was just to throw the letter away, but as he read on he'd realised that she really was trying to be sincere. He sighed, why do they all follow me? I've let them down already. His earlier resolve to make good of the prophecy was weak, what if he'd had to put all his friends in danger? Dipping a quill half-heartedly he wrote down her reply address on an envelope. He'd never expected a letter from her, not after that disagreement. Maybe we can meet up sometime? She had asked, maybe he should. But Harry felt unsure, he's never been further than his old school during his stays at the Dursley's. He surely wouldn't be allowed. Besides he didn't think he'd know what to say to her, about the Department of Mysteries and especially about last year's 'friendship'. But he was curious; he didn't know Cho very well at all. Deciding to think on it later, he wrote a quick letter instead.

Cho

I'm sorry things didn't work too. I'm fine, although my holiday hasn't been too great. Fencing sounds good. Umbridge won't be teaching next year. The DA was originally Hermione's idea, maybe you should ask her. My O.W.Ls were fine, miles behind Hermione's though. There are some things that happened at the Department of Mysteries that I can't tell you about. Basically I fell for Voldermort's trick, and put the DA in danger. I'm glad you were not there. Long story short we fought, almost everyone was hurt and someone I cared about died. Please, I don't want you to ever put yourself in danger on my account. I don't think I can meet with you, but maybe I'll see you in Diagon Alley if you're going for next year's supplies if not I guess you could always find me on the Hogwarts express.

Harry

Turning he saw Hedwig perched at the window and tied the letter around her leg. Harry thought he saw her frown at the rather short letter before flying off. Leaving only once for a shower, he'd stayed in his room until aunt Petunia called for him to prepare the dinner. Eating his small proportion quickly, and ignoring his relative's odd looks, he left the Dursleys to finish their meal while he just as hastily completed the list of daily chores. After washing the Dursleys' dishes he retreated back to the sanctuary of his room, only to find his former professor sitting on his bed.

'Professor Lupin?' Harry said, eyeing him suspiciously, as the man smiled mildly if more than a bit wistfully. "What are you doing here?"

'Well Harry, you haven't been replying to my letters Professor Lupin looked mildly at the unopened letters on his desk, 'and I got more than a bit worried.'

'I'm fine, sir' Harry replied instinctively while Lupin raised his eyebrows and sighed a little.

'Harry, I haven't been your professor for years; there's no need for the formality. Why not call me Remus, Moony, or even Lupin if you must. You are James' son and Sirius' – 'Lupin blinked a little, ' - was Sirius' godson. I've an obligation to look after you, not just for their sakes but also for my own. After Sirius... I don't think any one of us could be fine let alone you Harry.'

Harry sat down heavily beside the sombre man. Harry had always admired his former professor, but now he was awestruck. Remus had probably been through more grief and pain than anyone he'd ever know. Rejected by society, tortured by his monthly curse, lived in poverty, betrayed by one of his few friends, while two were murdered, and saw his closest friend die just as Harry had that day. How can he stay so strong? It was unfair, that a man, who uncomplainingly endured so much and had shown so much virtue towards others, is living a life of pain and poverty.

'We remember the good times Harry; and live our best for those who can't.' Remus said, answering the unseen question in his eyes. ' Sure takes a lot of getting used to though, I just hope you won't have to do the same,' he continued on a more sombre note. Harry felt unsure but understood none the less.

'I'll seen you soon Harry' Remus said, before he climbed out the window and disappeared with a small pop. Leaving Harry to wonder how soon exactly is soon.

Author's Note: Chapter Two; more letters and we'll find out when soon is. Don't expect the next chapter to be up within the week though. Sorry about the use of the 'Harry, call me Remus' cliche. How about an official guessing game for guessing the ships? not that I'll tell you if you did get it right I'll be dropping plenty of small hints where they won't obvious. In fact theres a extremely vague hint for an very important plot point, in the summary (not the obvious one), and there are already, hints on some of the incoming ships in THIS chapter. Oh by the way, HG/RW probably won't like me all that much.