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After about 20 minutes of sitting next to each other Kate said, "I think I'm finally ready to fall asleep."
"Yah, me too," Jack agreed. As he got up to leave he said, "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow."
"I don't know about that," Kate replied. "I'm probably going to leave pretty early. There's a lot of work to be done back on the beach. And I want to see if Sayid had any luck triangulating the French signal..." she trailed off. I'm really bad at making excuses, she thought. Really bad.
"Well, just come see me before you leave, Kate. Okay?"
"Okay," she smiled. "Good night, Jack."
"Good night, Kate." He wasn't very convinced by her reasons for leaving so soon; but, nevertheless, he accepted them. After all, he didn't really know much about her except what he could discern from her actions. And what he found was that she didn't trust easily. Even sitting with him tonight had probably been a huge step for her.
I just wish that she'd trust me, Jack thought. I don't know what's happened to her in the past, but it can't be anything good. I've never met a woman as mistrustful as Kate. It seems that she just can't convince herself that I have no intention of hurting her.
The next morning Kate woke up at first light and prepared to go back to the beach. She had promised that she would wake him up before she left. But when she approached his sleeping figure, Kate couldn't bring herself to wake him up. He looked so peaceful. Instead, she decided to leave him a present.
She looked around for inspiration and saw his empty water bottle. She took it and filled it with water from the small waterfall. That's not enough. I need to get him something more. He might not know it was me if I only fill his water bottle. As she looked behind her, she noticed a very beautiful pink flower with a splash of white at its center. She quickly strode over and plucked the blossom from the bush. She walked back over to Jack's sleeping form and placed the flower and water bottle next to him so that he'd be sure to see them when he awoke. She smiled at her handiwork and whispered, 'Goodbye Jack' as she quietly picked up her belongings and started out for the beach.
Leaving Jack was harder than she had thought it would be. Kate hadn't anticipated that her heart would feel so heavy. Kate, you've got to stop thinking about him, she mentally chided herself. What happens if you get rescued? What then? It's not like you'll be able to have a life together. You're a wanted criminal. A wanted criminal. Doctors don't generally marry criminals.
A little voice in the back of her head chimed in, Yes, but it wasn't your fault. You didn't mean to kill Harry. It was an accident. He was trying to kill you. You did it in self-defense. It's not your fault; it's not your fault; it's not your fault; it's not your fault.
Kate forced her mind to think about other things like: had Sayid been able to successfully locate the French transmission? She wondered it Sawyer had set off the rocket and turned on the transmitter Sayid had given her. If something had gone wrong, she didn't know what she would do. It was her job to active the transmitter, her job. And now it was going to be all her fault if it didn't work because she had left to help Jack.
As she continued mulling over the numerous questions in her mind, her surrounding became increasingly illuminated by the sun which was shining its rays through the dense jungle canopy. She was almost at the beach.
Starting with the next chapter, most likely deviating from episode plots a.k.a. AU.
