Read please! Arigato gozaimasu! bows

Disclaimer: Don't own Inu. Nope. I'll let others take the creative disclaimers.

Reviewers! It's thanks to you I'm putting this chap up now because I wanted to be able to thank you. I love seeing those in my inbox, they make crp days good. And believe me I've had a lot of those days. Cigarettesbad for your health. Inuyashagreat for the soul, the artist, the TV watcher, the happy person --but bad for the homework. Anyways thanks reviewers. Especially

Halfdemon-gurl15: you are my most consistent reviewer! I love u! Thankyouthankyou

Wolfblitz: it makes me feel good to hear someone say "next chapter"!

Desy: you are sooo sweet! Thanks!

BoscoFaith1: all that praise swoons thanks!

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And thank you Elconquisador (thanks!), ArtificialRed (it means a lot to me to hear your praise, seriously!), Azmidiske (awww thanks!), kaggerz (thanks! And how do you read these during school!) and damson rhee (thanks!)

Yes I am sucking up :-P. But I would love for you or others to review. Like tell me if my stories are so boring that you would rather do your homework. - I totally understand if you would because I think I blab a lot. Please tell moi! hugs

• •

Note: Tomo is both the name of Kenshin's first love from rurouni Kenshin and also means 'friend.'

Chapter Five: Lost and Found

He woke up with nothing on his mind. It was like a fuzzy blanket had settled there. Only when he moved his shoulder and felt the buzzing pain there did he really become awake. His eyes opened, but it was night. He couldn't see anything…and he normally had such good eyesight. There was no moon, and he could only guess at what the wound looked like. He could vaguely feel that he was on the ground, sticks and leaves beneath him. Had he fallen from the tree? He groped around with one hand, feeling for the base of the tree. He touched it, and the firm bark under his hand comforted him.

"Aah," he hissed, sitting up and trying not to move his body more than he had to. His whole body felt strange and dense, and his head was spinning. I'm so hungry… If only his mother was here…she'd bind it up, put soothing herbs on it, give him some milk, sing a low song over him…tears were prickling his eyes.

Prickling…

"Yaaaa!" Inuyasha yelled, bolting upright and grabbing Shippo by the tail. "Kuso!" he swore. Shippo guiltily hid the stick he'd been poking Inuyasha with behind his back.

"Heyyy," he said, "put me down! Geez! Kagome told me to wake you up for breakfast, baka!"

"Feh! You call me a baka! You're just a whiny youkai raccoon!"

"I'm a fox! Put me down! Kagomeeeee!"

"Inuyasha!" She stood at the bottom of the tree, glaring at him. "come down. I've got breakfast and Miroku and Sango have already eaten!"

"Geez, I'm coming!" Inuyasha yelled, frustrated. He'd been in the middle of such an interesting dream…but he couldn't remember what it was…

He must have fallen asleep again. Something was tickling the back of his neck. "Yaa…" he squeaked. He would've yelled it, but his throat was so sore.

"Hey," said a voice. Inuyasha tensed up at once, eyes shut tight, bracing himself for some kind of punch or kick or bite. Or taunt.

But instead a small girl's voice said, "Hey, are you all right? Are you from around here? Do you want to see a healer? What's your name?"

"Nani?"

"I'm Tomo. Why are you all bloody? Where are your parents? Do you live around here? Wait, did I already ask you that?"

It was overwhelming, to go from no one talking to you to someone firing curious question after question.

"Eh, uh, no, I'm not from around here. I'm…I'm," he croaked. But he didn't want to say his name.

"You're…? You're?" she repeated.

"I'm Inuyasha," he said, and for the first time looked at her. He was on the ground, and she was crouched beside him, with black hair in two buns and a young, innocent-looking face peering into his. Behind her, early morning sunshine broke smilingly through the canopy of trees. It hurt his eyes.

"What a strange name!" she cried. "Well come on. I'm not supposed to be out this far from the village anyway. Besides my mom is a healer, she can tend you. Where did you say you were from? Where are your parents again? What happened to you. Wait, I already asked that. But you never answered, HA!" she exclaiming, grinning, and helped him up. Slowly, tentatively, Inuyasha smiled back. It felt strange to use smiling-muscles after so long.

"So…eh…Tomo," he said, as she pulled him along by his hand. "Eh, could you slow down?"

She looked back at him, and cried out, "Oh! You're bleeding!" Inuyasha put his free hand to the wound and looked at his blood. It looked the same as a human's blood, he knew, the same red liquid as anyone else's.

Hey…come to think of it… "Why aren't you running away from me?" he demanded.

"Oh, I see blood all the time. I once watched my oka-san sew somebody back up once!" she said proudly.

Inuyasha gaped.

"Neh, no problem," she said. "She'll–"

Inuyasha's nose twitched. "What's that smell?"

It smelled somehow familiar and tinged with blood. "Is that me?"

No, it was different. His nose slowly began recognizing the tangy quality of the scent…

"A youkai!" he cried, just as a ten-foot snake shot from the trees.

Then he saw it, a brown shape moving along the forest floor.

"A youkai!" he cried, just as a ten-foot snake demon shot from the trees.

"I sssssmell blood!" it hissed wildly. "Blood on the air!"

"Waaaa!" cried Tomo, her face terror-stricken, diving to the ground as the snake shot over her head.

Inuyasha stared for a moment. "A youkai!"

"EEEE! Help me!" wailed Tomo. "Oka-san!"

Inuyasha's heart was pounding in his head but he couldn't move. "Wha—wha—"

The sudden scent of blood came to him, a blood that he could smell was not his own. "Feh!" he shouted, leaping forward. "Tomo!" The snake was circling for a second attack and the little girl was unconscious.

"Heh, the poison is fast," hissed the youkai. It glanced at Inuyasha was narrowed eyes. "Wait…that blood-smell…it was coming from you! But I smelled human blood…and you are hanyou…" It seemed positively confused.

"There was human blood last night here…"

"Heh! I may be…a…a…hanyou…but I'm no human!" Inuyasha cried, eyes blazing. "Tomo did nothing to you!"

He stared at the girl on the forest floor a moment. Her face was slack, but even in unconsciousness, tears trickled from her eyes. It brought back memories of that night, when his mother had lain so still like this.

A memory within a memory…

•She had lain there, teeth gritted, trembling, eyes teary. She had reached up to touch him face. "Oka-san…Oka-san!"

"Go, Inuyasha," she murmured. "There is no great ota-san this time to take care of you…" A tear slid down her face, bright as the stars in the night sky overhead. "I can hear them coming. Oh my little one—what is to become of you!"

The cry echoed out into the night. Demons paused in their killing, frozen at the pure sound of a mother's distress; owls paused in their mice-hunting, the world seemed to stop turning in sympathy. And there was silence. Only the crackling of flames answered the cry.

Her breath came back, ragged, as the slaughter resumed. "Remember, my Inuyasha, that you are the son of a great man– Inutaisho– Myoga-jichan will tell you…" She coughed up blood– "I love you, my only. There is only one like you…"

She slipped out of the world as Inuyasha's trembling mouth said, "Oka-san? I love you, oka– OKA-SAN!" Numb, in shock, he'd stumbled away from the body, tears rising behind his eyes…and as a demon had swooped over, cackling, he'd run away into the forest, sparing only a brief glance at the body of his mother, and the villagers behind…•

Inuyasha suddenly pulled up short. Kagome saw the expression on his face. "Inuyasha? Inuyasha!"

Inuyasha's eyes slowly regained focus. "What are you yelling for?" he snapped.

"You looked really distant…"

He looked at the ground, then back at Kagome's face. "I…I'm remembering things…" he said softly, hesitantly, and she put an arm out to touch his sleeve. He flashed her a quick look, then pulled away. She let him go. His eyes were already glazed again, and he was looking into himself.

Inuyasha's lips trembled at the memory. A thundering rage was building behind his chest… The snake was eyeing him warily. "Hunh. A half-demon," it muttered, glaring at him. "I'd thought only two humans…but…well, it seems to be harmless. Perhaps a follow-up meal, neh?"

The taunting words of the rooster-youkai came floating to him. Pleasure of meeting her…or should I say eating her…

"Join him in hell!" snapped Inuyasha, ignoring the protest his body made at his movements. He sprang forward, images blurring in his head…dead, the dying …"SANKON TESSOU!"

It burst from behind his lips, explosive, unbidden, a cry that roared out from his chest like an arrow fired into the sky.

The snake fell in two pieces, sizzling, and burned away into dust.

"Keh…that was easy!" Inuyasha exclaimed, startled. He stared at his own claws. They gleamed in the morning sun. "Wow." His breathing slowed, and he crept over to Tomo. "Tomo…Tomo…wake up!" he said, shaking her.

"Nnng," she moaned. Inuyasha hesitantly picked her up. He arranged her on his back, carefully. It felt like he was in a dream. There was someone with him, a warmth pressing on his back…but her warm blood, that was on his back too.

"Hang on, Tomo," he said awkwardly. His shoulder was throbbing and his knees seemed weak. "I'll find your village…"

It took what seemed like hours. He tried using his nose, but the scent of her blood and his own was overwhelming him. At last he found her trail, and sprang along it, trying to run with her. Lucky she was so small and light, he thought grimly. I feel so weak…

His legs gave out in sight of the huts with the wafts of cooking food coming from them. His mouth watered, but his eyesight seemed to be going funny…and then everything was sideways…and then dark.

They had finally made camp. "Keh," growled Inuyasha, "where can that bastard Naraku be hiding! Kuso! At this rate–"

"Inuyasha," came Miroku's calm voice from where he was unrolling his sleeping mat. "We are all just as impatient as you to find our sneaky youkai. But pacing about and not eating won't help anything."

Inuyasha's stomach rumbled, as if on cue. "Keh," he said, glaring at it. "It's hard, monk. If I think of how close we've come…how far we are now from that betraying bastard…"

Miroku smiled. "Yes, it's hard. But we all have each other, don't we? It's not like we're alone in this. Naraku can't run from all of us forever. You know we are gaining on him, bit by bit."

Inuyasha nodded slowly. "We're not alone in this…" he repeated. Then he shook himself. "When Sango and Kagome get back from their bath tell them not to bother me," he snorted. "I'll be keeping watch up in a tree, or something. Just tell them not to bug me, Ok?"

"Hai. But get some sleep. I'll be ready to waken at danger."

"Heh." Inuyasha turned and sprang into a tree. He settled himself down. "Humans. They trust too much in their inferior senses." He lay back, and gave himself to thinking. The only chance I got to do some serious thinking is when Kagome ain't here, he thought half-jokingly to himself. Ah…but I don't really miss thinking.

Inuyasha awoke someplace warm, with the giddy remembrance of Tomo. It was so strange, to think of that little girl. A warm, soft feeling went through his chest at the thought of her. She was so nice…but his feelings were confusing. All he could think of was that she had touched him, had been concerned, talked to him, started to lead him to her home–

That's right! She'd been attacked! Where was she now? He panicked, afraid to have lost what he'd only just found. His eyes flew open.

He was in a house, lying on a pallet of straw. He felt cozy and safe for the first time in…in… he couldn't remember how long it had been. But he could feel the warmth of a fire nearby, and his shoulder barely ached at all. A bubbly feeling was rising in his chest…like wanting to laugh and cry at once.

"Awake, are you?" Inuyasha sat bolt upright.

"Shh, shh, it's just me. I'm Yamamoto Koharu. Rest. You're still weak. I don't care that your strange wounds heal twice as fast as Tomo's, hanyou, you still need to lie still."

An icy wave swept over him. "H-hanyou?" He blanched and down. His hands were clenching the blankets so tightly that he had just made eight rather claw-sized holes in it with some of his fingers.

"Don't worry, hanyou." It was the first time that name had ever been used in this soothing tone. "Tomo told me what you did for her. I can give you shelter until you heal."

Inuyasha turned a startled glance on her– and found himself face to face with the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Her deep maple-syrup eyes glinted with someday-to-be-fully-realized wisdom, but her face was smooth and young and sweet. He gulped. Only one other mortal had ever had a face such as this, and she was dead now…

"Mother…"he gulped.

"Speaking of which," she continued as though he wasn't staring at her with the haunted yet longing look in his eyes. "Where are your parents? Your human parent?"

He forced himself to look away. "Dead. She's dead."

"I'm so sorry. How? Surely your father would protect her." Inuyasha felt perhaps the woman had more in common with Tomo than he'd thought. Her voice was alive with curiosity, rather than sensitivity. She seemed to realize this. "Gomen. But I've never met or seen a hanyou of tai-youkai birth, or any hanyou at all… only heard about them."

"S'ok." He swallowed. "I think my ota-san is dead…many years ago…and my oka-san was killed in a demon raid on the village by the Shinano River…it was called Shinrin, I think…"

She paled in shock. "You poor dear! I heard of that. That was over thirty-six moon-rises ago!"

Inuyasha stiffened. Over three years ago! How!

But he couldn't care about that for the moment. "How did you know I'm a hanyou?" he blurted.

She laughed, a little unkindly. "It's plain as the sun in the sky, hanyou-chan. Your claws…fangs, ears…really, you stand out quite a bit." Inuyasha bit his lip. "The other villagers were against bringing you in at all."

A gnawing feeling was in his chest now. It was the sore, irritated place where who-knows-how-many years of in-held tears sloshed saltily against him.

"But I insisted. I am the healer…but I don't know how long you may stay. I must go now and attend to my duties…sleep."

She touched his forehead, and he sank back onto the pallet and shut his eyes. But he didn't sleep.

He stared at the roof of the hut, where smoke was escaping through a chimney. His mind was an utter blank, and only swirling confused images fluttered through. Then­–

"You're awake!" beamed Tomo. She had burst in and now rushed to his side. "Oh, you're awake. Are you feeling better? Did the snake bite you? The snake bit me but Oka-san, you just saw her, her name's Koharu, she healed me with herbs. Well the other villagers didn't want you and I don't know why." Her face reflected puzzlement for a brief moment, then filled with a smile. "Did you kill that horrible youkai? That's so brave!" she squealed. "You saved my life! Oh yeah…" she put her hands together and knelt on the floor, looking mature and demure. "Arigato gozaimasu for saving my life," she murmured, eyes downcast. "I owe you my life now." She looked up eagerly. "Do you accept my thanks? You do, right? Wow, you killed that youkai. That's just amazing."

Inuyasha felt distant. "It's…amazing…to kill youkai," he said blankly.

"Well of course! They eat people. You know, all monsters, all of them, with fangs and other yurky things. And poison. Some of them. Like the snake. Mommy told me I had a high fever cause of it. And–"

Inuyasha cut her off. "So…to kill youkai is a good thing. Because they kill ningen, people?" I'm a hanyou. What does that mean? Does that means it's good to kill me? What does "hanyou" really mean He thought of the last two demons he'd encountered, and how he'd ended their lives.

But where demons were demons, humans were…human. Humans aren't perfect– but they aren't made for killing. Yeah. He suddenly felt relieved. He smiled at Tomo. "I think I'm gonna sleep now. I'll see you later. Ja ne."

She wilted comically. "Oh. Okay. Well have a good sleep," she said, and tiptoed out of the hut, letting the bamboo flap swing shut behind her.

She doesn't realize I'm not ningen, he thought, startled. Was the girl stupid? No, no, just naïve. She doesn't know I'm different, he thought, and basked in the glow of that thought until he fell into a light sleep.

In his dreams, where thoughts swirled unchecked, shadows held hungry demons, and he was lost in darkness. He tossed around in his head the thoughts of looking so different…of how three years had passed without him feeling that more than some seasons had gone by…or how this new woman was so kind, like Tomo, like oka-san. He treasured the feeling of kindness in his heart, like water dribbled on a water-starved plant. He held it inside him, clinging desperately.

He woke and devoured some jerky laid out for him on the mat. He didn't want to return to that shadowy land inside his sleeping mind…but his eyes couldn't help closing…

Instead of sleep, wonderings claimed him. As his consciousness slowly faded, he found himself thinking about that weird cry: sankon tessou. Where had that come from? It had just burst out of him, like blood bursts from a sudden slash of a knife. And the snake had been completely beaten by that cry and a raking of claws. Easy. The same thing had worked on that big ugly trapper demon, Otoshiana, come to think of it…what is that? Whatever it was, it filled him with power.

He dreamed dreams of golden light and powerful slashes with his claws, tearing demons like paper, and he smiled in his sleep. Take apart Otoshiana, rip him! Rip him, "SANKON TESS-"

Something touched me!

Inuyasha's claws sliced out in a faintly golden-lit arc, and he leapt up, panicked, mouth half-way through the battle cry "TESSOU!". Where are the demons? Where are the demons? They got me?

But his calm returned as he realized it had been a dream…

No.

No.

No…

Blood was on his claws…

Kami, no…

And his gold-brown eyes found that a little girl that he'd never seen before in his life was sitting on the floor, in shock at having her hand suddenly ripped away from her body when only a moment before she was using it to touch the strange boy lying asleep.

Inuyasha's eyes widened into horrified orbs.

His thumping heart was choking him…

B-dm. B-dm, it said in his ears. B-dm. B-DM. B-DM BD BDMBDMBDM–

"AIIIIIIIIIIII!" wailed the girl. Her eyes were round with the sudden pain. Enormous tears began to flood from her eyes. The sound sloshed on his eardrums.

Inuyasha was frozen. He couldn't move. His ears twitched as the sounds of feet and voices approached the hut. In the faint background he heard, "What's that noise?" "Did Miyo-chan go inside there?" "Is that Miyo-chan making that horrible noise? Go see what's the matter now." "Tomo was supposed to be watching her! That naughty girl."

But now the little girl's sobs had turned into full-blown screams of pain as her hand swung on a few scraps of sinew. She stared at it, to Inuyasha, to it again, to his claws…screaming…screaming…

A weight heavier than the whole world dropped into Inuyasha's stomach. His nerves were being sliced apart one by one with a sharp axe…the screaming… The tears, her tears cut him… He had hurt her!

"No!" he shouted, but no one could hear it but him.