Chapter 61: The Mind is a Terrible Place
Fire Kirby summoned High-Jump ability to become Jet Kirby!
A plane-like hat appeared on Jet Kirby's head and thrusters appeared on his back. He quickly grabbed Chuchu and rocketed into the sky.
The Marxes had chosen, a split-second before that happened, to pounce. Kirby and Chuchu only just got away. The Marxes collided in the center and looked up at the pair.
"You can't run from me," said the Marxes together, backing out from under Kirby and Chuchu. "Feeling a little heavy?"
Kirby suddenly felt as though the gravity in this world had been multiplied by... well, a lot. He plunged to the ground where he flattened unintentionally and lost his Jet ability. Chuchu landed next to him and nearly flattened as well. Kirby was glad neither of them had bones. If they did, their bones would have been broken by now.
Kirby looked around as best he could at the Marx mob. Each one was opening its mouth to show bloody and sharp teeth. They were closing in, ready to eat Kirby and Chuchu alive.
Kirby, taking a wild guess as to what might help, summoned Bomb and Needle abilities to become Spike Shooter Kirby! The familiar spiky helmet appeared on Kirby's head, but instead of the rest of his body turning yellow, it turned a dark grey.
Kirby activated his power, turning into a spike ball. At this point he felt a decrease in the great gravitational pull. Marx must have been curious as to what he was doing, curious enough to let him do it at least. Kirby blew off all of his spikes, which shot in every direction like bullets. About ten of them stuck in each of the surrounding Marxes.
Kirby looked over at Chuchu, horrified that he might have hurt her, but she was standing a little ways away, holding one of Kirby's spikes in each of her tentacles. She was trembling slightly. It had clearly not been easy for her to grab every one of those.
"Please," she said, eyes wide, "don't... do... that... again."
Kirby trashed his ability and answered, "Sorry. I won't."
The Marxes that had been shot fell to the ground and disappeared.
Kirby made another wild guess, summoning High-Jump and Beam abilities to become Flash Kirby! Kirby turned red and a lightning-shaped yellow tattoo appeared on his head.
Kirby grabbed onto Chuchu. There was a blinding flash of light and they were gone.
Kirby and Chuchu landed somewhere outside the Marx mob. They hit the ground unsteadily. Kirby fell on his face and Chuchu had to use her tentacles to rebalance.
"Whoa," said Flash Kirby standing up. "I need more practice with that ability."
"How are we going to get out of here?" moaned Chuchu.
"I don't know," replied Kirby, trashing Flash. "There's got to be some way out."
Kirby looked back at the Marx mob. It had disappeared. Kirby looked around for some sign of Marx.
Chuchu screamed! Kirby looked up into the sky, following her gaze, to see a rain of Marxes coming down on them.
Kirby and Chuchu started to run, but they couldn't get away and were eventually crushed by the storm.
Kirby summoned Bomb and High-Jump abilities to become Rocket Kirby! A red cone appeared on Kirby's head and rockets appeared on his back.
With a nasty explosion, Kirby blasted himself into the air.
The Marx copies were blown off in different directions.
Rocket Kirby landed back on the ground and Chuchu landed a few feet away.
The mob reformed and then suddenly stopped. Each Marx's eyes became unfocused and they looked up into the sky.
"Thank you, Dark Matter," they all said in unison. "She shall be yours."
Their eyes refocused. Then the mob started to fade away. The Marxes were vanishing. Finally, only one was left.
"It seems Dark Matter has changed its mind," announced Marx. "Chuchu, you are to be returned to the real world where Dark Matter will possess your body. Goodbye."
A black hole in the ground appeared below Chuchu and she screamed as she fell into it. Kirby raced over, but too late. The hole closed, leaving him alone with Marx.
Kirby was shaking all over, his anger rising again.
"So, Kirby," continued Marx. "Now that Chuchu's gone, let's have some fun. You see, since this is my mind, it would be the simplest thing for me to destroy you instantly. I could make myself invincible and then drop a nuclear bomb on you or I could turn the ground into molten steel and change the gravity to ten times its normal amount. Either way, you'd be dead and I'd have fulfilled my obligations. Dark Matter does not want you returned to the real world. Apparently, it's too risky with the six star rod shards you possess. But, it can get quite lonely down here and I've been wanting a friend that I don't have control over. Maybe we can make a game out of your death. I'm sure Dark Matter won't mind."
The Marx mob materialized again around the seething Kirby.
"Let's play," said the Marxes together.
Kirby, who still had his Rocket ability, zoomed at some of the Marxes. He then jumped back again, releasing the cone he had on his head. The cone flew towards the Marxes, transforming into a nitro-loaded warhead.
Kirby used his rockets to get away before the explosion. About a sixth of the Marxes had been blown to bloody smithereens. But every time a Marx was killed, what was left of his body would vanish moments later.
After trashing his power, Kirby summoned Fighter and High-Jump abilities to become Suplex Kirby! Kirby turned a strange greyish-brown color and a blue headband appeared on his head.
Kirby landed in the middle of the Marx mob and they rushed to tackle him. Kirby flew at one Marx, grabbed the guy, whirled him around and threw him at the other Marxes.
One of the Marxes that hadn't been hit got close enough to Kirby to hurt him. Kirby screamed in pain as he suffered a nasty cut on his cheek. Kirby grabbed the Marx that had hurt him by the neck. Then Kirby gave him a nasty uppercut, blasting the Marx high into the air.
Kirby grabbed another Marx, jumped, and smashed him into the ground with enough force to create a small earthquake.
Kirby grabbed two more and banged them together. Kirby grabbed another Marx, held him up, broke his back, and then thew him into the distance.
Another Marx punched Kirby, sending him flying. They could sure hit hard.
Kirby landed a ways away, outside the Marx mob.
"Come on Kirby," said one of the Marxes, stepping forward. "This is no fun. Here, let's have an old-fashioned fight. I'll be taking that High-Jump."
Kirby felt himself unintentionally transform from Suplex Kirby into Fighter Kirby.
"C'mon, bring it!" said the Marx, as more Marxes began to appear in the mob.
Kirby ran at the Marx and punched him so hard that he flew far into the distance.
Kirby roared/screamed and raced at the other Marxes. They wound up to punch and kick him, but Kirby, in his insane rage, plowed through them with a barrage of attacks.
Kirby was now in the center of the mob. The Marxes were fighting hard, pulling at his arms while they rained punches on his face. Kirby flipped over, kicking the two Marxes in front of him and escaping the grasp of the ones behind him. Kirby shot down at them with a comet kick. The Marxes backed away from his landing spot.
Kirby hit the ground and then spun around in the whirling kick. His feet spread on either side of him, kicking hard at the Marxes around him.
Kirby stopped and was tackled by the mob, but the Marxes were thrown back again when Kirby performed fighter blast. Kirby chose a direction and flew at the Marxes with the progressive vulcan jab! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! Eleven consecutive Marxes hit!
Kirby quickly about-faced, nailing the Marx behind him with a roundhouse kick. That Marx was bashed sideways into his fellows.
"More," mumbled the Marx.
Kirby jumped into the air for his next attack and saw a sea of Marxes below him. There must have been about eighty, and more were appearing.
Above the Marxes, Kirby remembered that using Stone ability would be good to crash down on them. What would Stone + Stone do? Kirby summoned two Stone abilities to try it out. Kirby became Monolith Kirby!
KABOOM! Kirby had transformed into a gigantic stone tower, which crushed the Marxes when it fell from the sky.
The tower was as big as a skyscraper and probably larger at the base. Kirby felt immediate satisfaction as the Marxes were smashed under his huge body. He could somehow see, though, that not all the Marxes were killed and that more were quickly appearing.
As Kirby trashed his power, he heard one of the Marxes say, "Stone ability can no longer be summoned into this world. It's no fun."
In the vast expanse where he had crushed all the Marxes, Kirby randomly summoned two Spark abilities to become Aura Kirby!
Kirby's eyes closed. He turned rainbow and the colors began to swirl around his body in bizarre patterns. Then... he just sat there, doing nothing.
Kirby's mind was going crazy. He couldn't move or open his eyes! He wanted to kill the Marxes! With his rage building, Kirby continued to meditate.
The Marxes gathered in a huge circle around Kirby and one of them stepped forward.
"Hey, Kirby," said the Marx, "why won't you play? I'll have to kill you if you don't play."
The Marx moved slowly closer. When he got within about fifteen feet, a powerful bolt of lightning suddenly shot out of Kirby.
The lightning instantly struck the Marx and he exploded, blasting bloody pieces of himself in every direction.
The rest of the Marxes rushed at Kirby. As each one stepped beyond the distance where the first had been shot, they were blasted too. But eventually Kirby was firing so many shots that he couldn't keep up with the onslaught of Marxes. One of them finally got close enough and gave Kirby a slice identical to the one on his other cheek.
Kirby's Aura ability was lost and he flipped into the air, screaming in pain and anger.
Kirby summoned two more random abilities, Sword and High-Jump, to become Berserk Kirby!
A sword appeared in Kirby's hand. A tattered High-Jump cape appeared on his back. Then eyes appeared all over his head. Kirby flipped into the air swinging his sword wildly.
The blurred, screaming ball of slices plowed through the Marxes, cutting them to ribbons.
Kirby swung the sword around and around, searing the Marx mob.
Clang! Kirby felt his sword strike metal. He stopped and saw that the Marx in front of him had a sword as well. Kirby looked around at the other Marxes.
Weapons were appearing in their hands. Kirby was now in the middle of a mass of Marx copies that were holding spears, swords, guns, flame-throwers, knives, grenades, maces, and many other nasty items. A few even had sharp elongated fingernails.
Kirby trashed his power. Then he summoned (he was too angry to choose anything that wasn't random) Cutter and Bomb abilities to become Ninja Kirby!
Ninja Kirby grabbed onto the Marx in front of him (the one that had a sword). He performed a flip-kick, knocking the Marx's sword away, and jumped high into the sky.
Kirby shot down with the Marx and smashed him into the ground, causing a wave of energy to blow back the Marxes around him.
Kirby quickly unsheathed his dagger/mini-sword and used it to block a bullet from another Marx's gun. The bullet reflected back upon the shooter, taking him out of the fight.
The Marx in back of Kirby attempted to hit him with a spear, but Kirby used his dagger to reduce the spear to splinters. Another quick slice separated that Marx's head from its body.
A grenade landed at Kirby's feet. Another Marx had thrown it. As Kirby threw it back, the Marx threw another. Both throwers caught both grenades and both grenades exploded. Kirby was blasted into the air and in another explosion he disappeared.
Kirby reappeared just outside the Marx mob and flung a number of ninja-stars into it. As every ninja-star stuck in a Marx, it exploded seconds later.
Amid the booms and bangs, Kirby raced in. He sliced one Marx in half, drove his dagger into another, flipped back over the crowd to dodge a mace attack, nailed a third Marx with a pinpoint kick, grabbed a fourth while upside down and brought the guy over his head for a smash into the ground.
The top of Kirby's foot suddenly sustained a gash from one Marx's sword. Then a Marx with knives rushed at Kirby.
Kirby nailed that Marx with a ninja-star and disappeared again in yet another explosion.
Once again outside the Marx mob, Kirby nearly fell over in exhaustion. His wounds were hurting like crazy. For the first time since his experience with the newly insane Kracko, Kirby felt he had finally vented all his anger.
He trashed his power and attempted to summon two more abilities. They wouldn't come.
"You can no longer summon abilities into this world, Kirby," said one of the Marxes. "Let's see how you do on your own. Here, we won't use weapons either."
All the weapons (that includes long fingernails) that the Marxes were carrying disappeared.
"But I suck on my own!" complained Kirby. "Where's the fun in that?"
Kirby froze. The impact of his words had just hit him. He could still suck.
"Dark Matter told me to give you a message, Kirby," said the Marxes. "It told me to say you will never obtain the star rod shard that my body guards. Your life shall end with me for I am the only one who can let you out of here."
As the Marx mob began to move toward him, Kirby drew a deep breath.
The Marxes, startled, backed away as quickly as possible, but the one that had been in the lead was inhaled.
Kirby swallowed the Marx and transformed into Crash Kirby! (How? Well, let's just say we'll get back to that later.)
"What the %&$#?!" yelled the Marxes in unison.
Kirby detonated, blasting Marx's entire mind with white Crash energy. All the Marx copies were destroyed and the world began to fall apart.
Kirby (who was, once again, without an ability) looked up into the sky where a big crack had appeared among the stars. The Marx essence in the Crash was messing everything up! The whole world was shaking. The ground began to rapidly change from color to color. Lightning flashed, emanating from out of thin air and traveling sideways until disappearing again. Flash! Flash! Flash! More lightning! The crack in the sky was getting bigger. Kirby didn't know what to do. All he could do was stand there amid the madness. The ground, though retaining its feel of stone, began to undulate in waves. Each star-shaped rock in turn emitted a loud pop and burst into flame. Then the sky began to fall. Big stone-like chunks of it fell from around the cracks and smashed to the ground, only to fly back up and repeat the process. Kirby started to run. Where to he didn't know. A bolt of that strange horizontal lightning singed his back. He was running, dodging fire, dodging falling sky, jumping over lightning, tripping, slipping, tumbling over the ground as it rose and fell. Now he was falling, falling though a world of blackness, punctured only by the insane storms of lightning all around him. He could hear explosions. The sound was deafening. Kirby shuddered, painfully groping at the air as he fell, down into darkness, down... into... the ground!
Whump. Kirby landed. He could feel grass under his face.
Slowly, shuddering, Kirby looked up.
Grass Land. That's where he was, in the great fields and hills northeast of Vegetable Valley, his home.
It was nighttime and the cool grass felt wonderfully pleasant.
Kirby rolled over and looked up at the clouds. How peaceful everything was.
His wounds ached and his head hurt, but somehow none of that mattered. With his exhaustion taking over and his emotion hole finally empty, Kirby fell asleep.
An obnoxious repeating noise pulled Kirby from his slumber.
"Hello?" said Kirby weakly, answering the ringing cell phone.
"Yes! You're back!" said the unmistakable voice of Gooey from the phone. "What a relief! So, what happened? Where's the seventh star rod shard?"
"I don't have it," mumbled Kirby.
"What?! Kirby, you gotta get it from Marx! Where is he? I'll send a warpstar right away!"
Kirby attempted to stand up, suddenly screamed in pain and fell back to the ground.
"What was that?!" shouted Gooey. For some reason his voice seemed much more hyper than usual. "Are you okay? Why couldn't I contact you for so long?"
"You'd better send three maximum tomatoes with that warpstar," Kirby managed to say. His wounds were throbbing terribly. "I'm gonna need a lot to recover."
The warpstar came and Kirby wolfed down the maximum tomatoes on it. The first healed his wounds. The second woke him up (he had been needing that). Finally, the third energized him enough to have a good conversation.
"Okay, here's what happened," he said. "I was sucked into Marx's mind."
"How?"
"A black hole appeared after I sliced him in half."
"So Marx is dead?"
"I don't know. My Crash seemed to destroy his mind."
"Huh?"
"Here, I'll tell you the whole story."
Kirby recounted everything that had gone on in Marx's mind. Gooey gave a surprised and furious response when he found out Dark Matter had taken Chuchu.
"I guess we'll have to find Marx again later," said Gooey after Kirby finished. "Right now, I have bad news of my own. Dark Matter is currently at war with the Meta Army over who gets control of Neo City. They are fighting in Fantasy Meadows. Now admit it. I was right."
"Neo City? What does that have to do with anything? And how are you right?"
"Remember what I said in Heat Top about Meta Knight using it as a threat? You know, he blows off the ice and Neo City burns in lava. Anyway, seems he went ahead with that plan. He used Neo City, which Dark Matter sure doesn't want to lose, as an excuse to go to war. Dark Matter had no choice but to fight."
"But what about Neo City?"
"Kirby, think about it. This is Meta Knight, the master planner, that we're dealing with. If he really wanted Neo City so bad, he could just occupy it and prevent Dark Matter from taking it. 'Course that's a battle he would lose. Dark Matter would just leave, possess the rest of Rainbow Resort, come back with reinforcements, surround the city and take it anyway. But the point is that Meta Knight is fighting Dark Matter in order to destroy it. I thought you knew that by now."
"But why war?!" asked Kirby loudly, getting impatient. Gooey still hadn't really explained why all this was happening.
"War, Meta Knight figures, is the best way to draw out Dark Matter's eye... and he's right. Dark Matter will be too busy protecting and controlling its forces, not to mention possessing as many of the Meta Army as it can, and not be able to worry about protecting itself. Meta Knight has manufactured something he calls the Wrath Cannon. It's a big laser cannon that can fire energy from his sword, Galaxia. One or two hits in the eye by that thing and Dark Matter will be destroyed, but there needs to be a lot of fighting going on for Meta Knight to accomplish that. Fighting that we don't want. Kirby, we must not let Meta Knight win. With Dark Matter gone. He'll use the resulting confusion after the terrible death and destruction to take over Pop Star. As if the demise of most of Dreamland's life isn't bad enough, how would you like him as your king?"
"I wouldn't," answered Kirby bluntly.
"But we can't let Dark Matter win either," continued Gooey. "If its forces overcome Meta Knight's, Dark Matter will possess the Meta Army and then move on to Neo City. With all that power, not only will Nightmare return in full strength, but Dark Matter's black power will become so vast that it will be able to envelope all of Pop Star!"
"So, they both have to lose."
"Well, no. Since Dark Matter's forces are comprised of most of the life in Dreamland, killing them would result in devastation. The death of all life here is not what we want either. The only solution is to stop the war entirely. The killing must cease!"
"Stopping a war? That sounds hard."
"Indeed. Also... hopefully you'll be able to find Chuchu in Dark Matter's forces before she is killed as well."
Well this was just getting harder and harder. Kirby was really worried about Chuchu. He needed to act right away.
"Temporary help will arrive, though," said Gooey, wrapping up. "The Ripple Star Fairies, you know, the ones that prevent war, should be arriving shortly. I know they'll be no match for the Meta Army, but it'll buy you some time."
Kirby hopped on the warpstar.
"You can get the seventh star rod shard later!" shouted Gooey. "Right now, it's war!"
"Onward!" said Kirby as dramatically as possible, "to save Chuchu!"
"What?" replied Gooey surprised.
"...and then Pop Star!" finished Kirby, zooming off to the west and dropping a confusing emotion into his emotion hole. He didn't want anything to interfere with his mission.