Big Boys Don't Cry

By Jaici-Leigh

Authors Notes: Okay. Sorry it's taken me so long to update but I've been to Uni and as many of you will know, it's not so easy to fit writing fics in between all that work :P But this chapters here (or should be, if Arashi updated it like I asked :P) And I hope it's good enough for you :P

(Arashi: See, what she's neglecting to mention here is that she also lots me my internet! Stupid girl!(slaps Jaici)

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade, nor do I own any of the characters. Don't sue me. There's not much I own.

Warning: I've totally forgotten what this fic contains ;; Uh...Shounen-ai, of course and some other stuff. Stuff that makes the rating what it is! See other chapters if you're desperate to know :P

Big Boys don't Cry

Chapter Three: From the Past

The rest of the week passed like a blur, and thankfully, Kai didn't come anywhere near me. I was glad for the most part. I didn't even know what I was going to say to him. He'd made it perfectly clear how he now felt about me, and what could I do? I couldn't make him love me again, and part of me wasn't surprised that he felt that way. But that part that was still hopelessly in love with him was crying all the time.

I wanted to curl up and die somewhere, but my friends wouldn't let me. They didn't know what was wrong. I wouldn't tell them, and all attempts to get it out of me were met with intense distraction. I didn't want anyone to know. Kai was my problem and my problem alone. I could handle it, right I mean…he didn't hate me…not really.

But even I wasn't stupid enough to believe that. He did hate me and I was responsible. I'd never have dreamed he'd take it like this. Never in a million years. And as much as I wish I could take back what happened that day, I can't. Because I'm not even sure I want to. If I hadn't left…I don't know what would have happened to me.

I woke up on Saturday morning, my head pounding. I guess all that crying isn't good for you. Yeah. I know. The unbreakable Tyson, crying. Non-stop. But I couldn't help it. Loving Kai had gotten me through the worst part of my life, and now…now it was all gone. Refusing to cry again, I sat up in my bed and realised that both Max and Chris were already up. Not that I blamed them. I wouldn't want to share a dorm with me either. At least not recently. But it was a Saturday. I could find something to occupy my time. Surely.

As I slid into my clothes I wondered just how I was supposed to survive this year. Hell, the whole College period. I had no chance. Not if I was expecting Kai to come round the corner and beat me to a pulp. But I would survive it. If I could forget about Kai. Somehow.

Sighing, I pushed open the dorm door, and found Phoenix and Amii on the sofa watching morning TV.

"Hey Tys. You okay?"

I nodded without speaking and both girls masked their concern well. Shrugging easily, I poured myself some breakfast and then slid into the only available armchair, my eyes drifting to the television on impulse. Anything was better than looking at their concerned faces.

"Tyson?"

I nodded for Amii to continue, even though I refused to look at her. In retaliation, Phoenix clicked the television off. I had a hard time controlling my anger, but I knew they meant well.

"What was that for?"

"You're going to tell us what's been bugging you for the past week!"

I bristled. No I fucking wasn't! Why should I pour my heart out?

"It's none of your…"

Phoenix cut across me angrily, and the spark in her eyes flared up again.

"Don't give me that bullshit! What is up with you! It's something to do with Kai. Isn't it?"

The surprise that flicked across my face sent a triumphant flash across their eyes. I was stunned. How in the hell had she known that? Max and Mariah wouldn't have said anything about my fight with Kai. So how…Phoenix read the question though my actions and shrugged.

"It's not that hard really. He's been bragging about it in the corridors Tyson. He's not likely to keep his mouth shut about beating up a Freshman. Have you learned nothing whilst you've been here?"

"What you mean between going to lessons and getting my face pounded by my boyfriend?"

The words slipped through my lips before I had even thought about them. I slapped a hand to my mouth, horrified that I'd even given it away.

Shit!

Phoenix and Amii, stared at me, both of them frozen in shock. We must have been a right state when the dorm door flew open and Mariah walked in. But we soon forgot it when she pulled Max into the room after her. The three of us were off the sofa in as second when we saw what he looked like.

"Shit Mariah! What happened?"

"Rei is what happened. Max was trying to help your sorry ass! He went to Rei thinking Rei would tell him what was up between the two of you, but the same thing must be eating Rei! He just punched him!"

My stomach flopped, and I couldn't stop the anger rising I me. Where the fuck did he get off treating Max like this?

"Mariah. Help Max. I've got some old friends to sort out!"

I ignored their protests as I slid past Max and stomped down the corridor. Kai and Rei were going to pay.

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I found them easily. Its not heard to find the college's biggest bullies. They were in the cafe as usual, gloating no doubt about their recent victories. I pushed my way through the tables, ignoring the protests of the students and stormed right up to their table. Launching myself at Rei, I grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him toward me.

"What the fuck did you do to Max?!"

The shock in his eyes at being treated like this was only marginal compared to the utter glee I saw in his eyes at my reaction. But it only served to make me madder. Smacking him back down in the chair, I punched him. Hard.

"You bastard! Max did nothing to you! It was me who took him away. You had no right to do that to him!"

"No. But I did."

I turned to stare at Kai. I wasn't going to be afraid of him. Not anymore. The bastard deserved everything he got.

"You did not! Not to Max! What did he do to you? You don't have to get at me through my friend! That's a new low Kai, even for you!"

Kai bristled at my verbal attack and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Low? You what to know what's low? Leaving when you knew I loved you!"

Silence fell and the guilt threatened to overwhelm me yet again. It was the first time he had told me that in four years. Even when we dated, he'd never said it. Kai wasn't the type to wear his feelings on his sleeve, but now…

What have I done?

"I didn't…I don't…Kai…"

I knew that what I was saying didn't make sense but it didn't matter. How could I have possibly let this happen? He ignored what I saying anyway, and his glare, if it was possible, increased.

"I don't know why you came back Tyson, and frankly I don't care. But I won't stop what I'm doing. You deserve everything you get!"

"You sadistic bastard! Did you really think I enjoyed leaving everything behind? I don't have any excuse for what I did to you Kai, but didn't you do just as bad?! When my grandfather died you where nowhere to be found and you should have been the first there to comfort me. But do you know who was? Max! And Kyoujyu. They were the only two who gave a damn about me! I left because I couldn't face seeing you the way I was. I cared enough for you to leave! And you didn't give a shit about how it made me feel! You think I betrayed you? You betrayed me! Next time you want to include my friend in an attack meant for me, remember that what you did almost equals what I did to you!"

I'd had enough and I couldn't believe he'd let me talk for so long. But I saw the feelings across his face, feelings he rarely showed to anyone. Rei and Lee were stunned where they were but I was still angry with them. With Rei. It wasn't his fight. I had taken Max away from him. But there was no excuse for hurting my blonde friend when he'd been trying to help. I was angry. And I didn't care now what Kai did. I wasn't going to lie down and take it. I was going to show him that I didn't need him anymore.

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I don't know how I managed to walk out of that café the way I did. I had stunned Kai to silence and that rarely happens. But I knew what was going to happen now. Kai wasn't going to let it lie. I had humiliated him. In public. And If I knew my Kai, he wouldn't let it go. He'd kill me.

"Tyson!"

I looked up as a familiar figure came running after me.

"Kyoujyu?!"

I smiled slightly as his small from ploughed straight into me.

"I've been looking for you everywhere! Everyone's talking about what happened in the café Tyson. Kai's after you. Why did you do that to him? You knew he'd fight you!"

I was surprised that I didn't even get a greeting from Ky. But I knew that he was more worried about my safety. He and Max had been the only two I had confided in. And they were worried that I would want to run again. But I didn't. I was sick of running. I made this mess. And it was my duty to sort it out.

"I'm sorry Ky. But I couldn't let him do that to Max, just for helping me. I'm not going to take it. "

Kyoujyu's smile was suddenly familiar and I felt a dam break in me. I didn't want this. I'd suffered too much recently, and I was sick of it. As if expecting what was coming Kyoujyu pulled me into an available room and I cried against him, floods of tears pouring from me that I didn't know I had.

As I cried my mind flashed with image from my past. A past I had tried to hide. Both from myself, and from everybody else…

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"Tyson? We're here for you"

I couldn't smile, I just hoped they understood. But I had never appreciated my friends as much as I did right then., They were…..Everything I had. Them and Kai…

Kai…

I raised my head.

"Why isn't Kai here Max? I asked for him ages ago…"

He wouldn't look me in the eyes and I frowned through my tears.

"What?"

"He's gone Ty. Nobody can find him."

It hit me like a knife to the stomach. Kai had…gone? And this had to happen now…I couldn't keep it all in anymore…I cried so hard my eyes hurt. I wanted Kai. And he had deserted me. What was I supposed to do now?

Kai….Where are you?…

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When Max heard what I'd done, he was pissed. I couldn't blame him, but why should I stand by and let him get hurt over something that was meant for me?

"Would you calm down! It was my decision to make!"

Max glared at me, his eyes shining with anger, but I'd seen worse and I knew that deep down he was grateful that I had intervened. Not saying that he's weak, Max can pack one hell of a punch. But against Kai and Rei? That's a different story.

"But you've just made him madder! What do you think he's going to do now?"

"I don't care. I'm letting it go Max. Its obvious he doesn't love me anymore. So…that's that."

Max stared at me. I don't think that he really understood what I meant, but I did. There was no way on this earth that I was letting Kai get to me ever again.

And I would prove it.