Chapter 69: Black Paint
"Dark Matter, I have a request."
"Yes? I'm listening."
"You don't really need me anymore, do you?"
"What's your point?"
"Well, I'd really like to go..."
"Go where?"
"Go play pinball."
"Pinball?"
"Indeed, pinball. The other side of Pop Star is one gigantic pinball table! I could use this red gem in my necklace to play. Like I said, Dark Matter, you don't really need my help anymore. You've already conquered this planet and are beginning to envelop it. Now that I am once again my former self, I'd really like to do something other than scouting for you."
"Oh, very well, Nightmare. You can go. With all this new power, I guess I will be able to possess the universe without you."
"Exactly. Heh, heh. Well, I'm off. And, by the way, congratulations. This is the moment you've always dreamed of."
"WHAT?!"
"Oh! No! No, I didn't mean that!"
"How dare you speak of dreams in front of me! You, who have been with me since the beginning!"
"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!"
"Go! Go play your pinball! Get out of my sight!"
"Yes, Master. Sorry, Master."
As Nightmare fled, he made a single glance backward at King Dedede's silhouette against the red-and-gold sky. It was trembling slightly... with deep anger... or sadness.
The sun was setting and Gooey still couldn't locate Marx or Chuchu.
Kirby was flying south in what he hoped was their general direction. Maybe Marx had flown to Ice Cream Island (which is just off the southern coast of Dreamland's main continent). It was worth a shot.
Little did he know that Marx and Chuchu had actually flown northwest to Grape Garden.
"Escargoon," inquired Meta Knight, "just how much equipment do you have in that cargo car up there?"
"More than you could possibly imagine fitting in there," answered Escargoon.
"Would you happen to have the materials needed to synthesize Dark Matter essence?"
"Probably. Why?"
"I've seen what that stuff does to warpstars. On contact, it makes them disintegrate, dissolve, melt, and sometimes explode. It's the perfect weapon for depriving Kirby of transportation and hurting him on the way."
Escargoon grinned, showing all his teeth (something he only did when he grinned). "I take it this is another plan. I'll get right on it."
"And also," continued Meta Knight, "I want you to coat this ship with the Dark Matter essence as well. It will protect us from possession if we ever have to fly through a cloud of the stuff; plus, well, it would be an interesting look for the ship." Meta Knight sounded a bit embarrassed when he said the last part. He didn't want to give the impression that a powerful leader like himself would care so much about looks.
"You got it."
"Kirby!" said Gooey suddenly. "I'm picking up an anomaly in Cloudy Park! It may be a sign as to where Chuchu is located."
"But, Gooey," replied Kirby, "aren't I headed in her direction?"
"Ah, no. I suppose not."
"How do you know that this is Chuchu and not something else?"
"Well, what else could it be? The anomaly consists of some sort of liquid-like substance that jams my scanners when I try to focus on it. Such a 'liquid' would be an ingenious trick when trying to escape from someone."
"Okay, fine," relented Kirby, turning his warpstar around. "I'll go check it out."
"Ha-ha!" cheered Chuchu semi-triumphantly. "I got ya, Marx!"
Marx's face had been covered in black ink and now he writhed dangerously in the air.
"No! I'm blind!" shrieked Marx. "What have you done to me?! Only squid can do that!!!"
Chuchu reached up and refastened her bow.
"You have been coated with the specially modified ink that I keep in a capsule in my ribbon," she explained. "Now that you have been hit with this emergency-use fluid, your eyesight will not return for quite a while."
Marx stopped his writhing and grimaced.
"Oh, you annoying little octopus! You have forced me to r-" He stopped mid-sentence.
Silence. Chuchu noticed that Marx seemed to be sensing something, some presence that must have been linked to Dark Matter.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Chuchu," said Marx, grinning behind the black on his face, "but why don't you have a look to your right?"
Chuchu looked to her right and saw a gigantic cloud of Dark Matter essence rolling towards her. This black cloud stretched as far as she could see into the distance, covering the land like the ink on Marx's face, streaking through the valleys and poisoning those clouds that were still white.
"All of Pop Star will soon be covered with it," continued Marx. "Your will shall be mine again."
Kirby's eyes widened.
"You're sure you want me to fly through this?" he asked Gooey timidly.
"You have no choice, Kirby," explained Gooey. "Soon Pop Star will be blacker than space because of all the Dark Matter essence on it. Remember, you're immune to Dark Matter's possessive power. Just go for it!"
"But, I won't be able to see!"
"Of course you will. That stuff's just like fog. You know how you can still see a ways in front of you when it's foggy. Come on! Go! You're wasting time!"
"Okay..."
Kirby flew slowly towards the cloud.
Suddenly, he was inside.
Kirby's first thought was that the air felt polluted and dirty inside the Dark Cloud. His second was that Gooey couldn't have been more wrong about it being "just like fog."
He could see just fine, but was he saw wasn't pretty. The sky had been dyed a blood red and everything else had a dark tint to it. The grass far below was forest green. The usually tan rocks of Yogurt Yard now had the color of mud. Not only that, but he couldn't see any smoky wall where he had come in. From his perspective it looked like the whole universe had been taken.
Then, even though he wasn't moving, he could see that he was slowly descending. Soon he could feel it too. He looked down at his warpstar and saw to his horror that it was slowly melting under his feet.
With a shriek, he jumped off and inflated. After landing on the grass below and exhaling, he watched the warpstar's speed of descent increase by the second. Then it began to bubble. Soon the whole thing was nothing more than as sizzling, bubbling, steaming puddle of goo on the ground.
Kirby was now officially freaked out. He made a dash past the melted warpstar towards where he had come in.
Suddenly, he was outside.
He had passed back through some sort of invisible barrier that separated the untainted world from the Dark Cloud and he could see it rolling once more behind him. Everything was normal again.
But he was soon re-engulfed. The Dark Cloud had not ceased to expand and now Kirby felt like he was trapped in a nightmare. The bright, lovely world he had always known had disappeared before his very eyes.
"Sir Meta Knight, should I proceed through this rolling dark cloud?"
"Yes, Captain. Escargoon has already coated our ship with a protective layer specially designed to keep us safe inside Dark Matter essence."
"You got it!"
"Captain! Hold a minute!" interrupted Meta Axe. "This Dark Matter essence is more than just a cloud! This blackness is what's covering Pop Star! Once we're inside it, we won't be able to exit the ship. Plus, if there is ever even a slight breach in the ship, we will all become possessed. Are you sure you're willing to risk it?"
Meta Knight did not hesitate to answer. "Yes," was all he said.
"Well, then let's go!" cheered the Captain and before anyone could react, he had flown the ship into the Dark Cloud.
Silence.
One by one the members of the Meta Clan expressed their awe at the new landscape, filling the ship with low murmurs and whistles.
"Wow..." "Oh, my..." "That's not right..." "Whoa..." "What happened?"
Even Meta Drone spoke, but his reaction was not the "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude" that had been expected.
"Aw, man," he said. "Plan E sorta failed, dudes."
"What?" asked Meta Knight.
"Well, you were gonna, like, blast... Kirby with, like, Dark Matter stuff an' all to make his warpstar do the, like, radical explody... thing. That sorta kinda didn' quite really work, dude. 'Cause we're already, like, in it... I mean the stuff... and Kirby'll not be cruisin' on warpstars in here. Yeah... it doesn't, like, matter now. Ya know... with Dark Matter possessin' the whole planet an' all... Kirby'll never, like, ride warpstars again. It's kinda okay... but still a bummer, dude. Yeah... Major bummer..."
Silence.
"Uh, dudes?"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE JUST LET HIM DELIVER THAT ENTIRE SPEECH!" shouted Meta Sword suddenly.
"Can't Escargoon fix him?" whimpered Meta Blade.
"I can't do that!" said Escargoon even more shakily than usual. "My fields are hardware, chemistry and psychology!"
"We know! We know!" groaned Captain Birdbrain.
"Why won't psychology work?" hissed Meta Lance, his mask leaking tear water. "Can't you teach him to be less annoying?"
"Sou--s -oo- to -e," put in the legendary Crazed Donut Hole General. His voice was muffled because he had hidden inside his helmet.
"That wouldn't work," said Meta Axe, who always seemed to be the first to recover from the effects of Meta Drone's voice. "Psychology has no effect on programming."
"There gotta be something we can do!" moaned Meta Chain and Big Wheelie together.
"Such... horrendous... damage... is not easily... repaired," said Silver Kibble with effort. His helmet was still vibrating.
Yellow-suited Poppy Brothers Senior, who no longer looked remotely happy, swore loudly.
Silence. Yamikage remained motionless with just his left eye twitching. Sasuke had his eyes locked on the red heavens; he seemed to be praying.
"Voice... baaaaaaaaaaaad," sobbed Dekabu.
"I'm sorry, Kirby, but you're going to have to continue on foot. Chuchu's out there and you've got to get to her. In the meantime, I'm going to see if I can develop a warpstar which won't be affected by Dark Matter."
"No! I can't go all that way just by walking! It's way too far!"
"Well, maybe one of your abilities can help. Let's see... Ah! I have an idea! Try Sculpture ability. It's Stone plus Cutter."
"How would that help?"
"It allows you to transform. My idea is that you sculpt yourself into a wheel. That'll get you going!"
"Okay, I'll try it."
Kirby summoned Stone and Cutter abilities to become Sculpture Kirby! Instead of getting a hat, Kirby then became a cube of rock, which immediately began shaving off pieces of itself until it had the shape of a tire.
Wasting no time, Kirby shot forward, speeding off through the Dark Cloud.
"All scanners are still operational?"
"Yeah, dude. They're, like, s-"
"Shut up, Meta Drone! Oh, this is stupid. Escargoon! I am placing you in charge of the ships functions."
"But Sir Meta Knight, I'm already handling the entire cargo car above us! Don't you think there might just be someone else for this job? I mean, I know I impress you, but I can't be in two places at once."
Meta Knight looked around.
"If this ship was alive," said Yamikage, "I would be able to train it easily, but that is unfortunately not the case."
"I could try my hand at it," said Meta Axe hesitantly.
"Very well, Meta Axe," replied Meta Knight. "I shall consult you from now on. Position yourself over there by the radar controls."
"Yes, Sir." Meta Axe moved over to the right of Sasuke. "Oh, by the way. This little blip on the radar screen... Do you have any idea what it is? I always thought that that color meant 'cold' or 'stone', but that can't be right because nothing that isn't living could be traveling at that speed. Maybe I'm not the right person for this job."
Sasuke glanced over and a look of puzzlement crossed his face.
"I don't understand it either," he said. "According to the scanners, what we're looking at is a very fast... rock. But there are no hills where it's rolling."
"It must be Kirby!" shouted Meta Knight. "He must have transformed int-"
"Whoa, there, Meta Knight," interrupted Meta Sword. "Not every abnormality is a sign of Kirby."
"Why not?! That little pest is everywhere!"
The rest of the Meta Clan exchanged glances.
"Set a course, Captain," continued Meta Knight. "for Wheel Kirby!"
"Stone Wheel Kirby, Sir Meta Knight," replied Captain Birdbrain.
"Just go!!!"
"Okay, okay!"
"No," said Chuchu, backing away. "No, not again."
"Good-bye, Chuchu," said Marx. "You're efforts to separate me from the last remaining star rod shard have not succeeded. The shard will be safe with me forever, inside this Dark Cloud. You shall never possess it, but I will soon possess you!"
Chuchu began to run. Her warpstar had been earlier destroyed.
Marx couldn't see what she was doing because of the ink on his face, but he still guessed that Chuchu was running...
"You can't run from me, Chuchu! No matter where you go, my Dark Cloud will be there soon enough! This whole planet will be under my control!"
"Not while I'm around, Marx!" shouted Chuchu defiantly as she began running back toward Marx as fast as she could.
"Wait," faltered Marx. "What are you doing? Where are you? I can't see!"
"Right here!" yelled Chuchu, her speed reaching a sufficient level.
Chuchu jumped... smashed with a full-body slam right into Marx's face... and then stuck tight.
"No!!!" screamed Marx as Chuchu wrapped her tentacles around his body. "Get off!"
Marx swiped at Chuchu with his floating hands, but Chuchu removed two of her tentacles from his body and snatched the hands out of the air, crushing them.
Marx then tried every attack he (well, Dark Matter actually) could think of. He fired the arrows from his wings (miss), he fired the razor-blades from his wings (miss), he attempted to inhale for an ice bomb or an air blast (Chuchu was over his mouth preventing him from doing so), he even spun around a couple times but couldn't get enough momentum to release the seeds.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" he yelled.
Chuchu squeezed harder and harder with her tentacles as Marx flailed about.
"Oh... you... annoying... octopus," grunted Marx. "If only you hadn't hit me with that ink! Then I'd be able to see where the Dark Cloud is! Diving in there should get you off my face!"
Marx began flying around with violent erratic movements, seemingly trying to locate the Dark Cloud.
Chuchu, meanwhile, squeezed even harder, trying to break Marx's skull before he managed to get inside the Dark Cloud.
But then they went in. Chuchu's body spasmed slightly as she felt Dark Matter invade her mind. But the Dark Matter concentration in the Cloud wasn't thick enough to possess her instantly and she fought back mentally with all her might.
"There's no way out now, Chuchu," said Marx. "Fight it all you want, but I've got you right where I want you."
Chuchu choked and gagged as Dark Matter tried to sicken her mentally into letting go of the fight. Instead, she let go of Marx's face, causing her to fall.
Chuchu's reflexes took over and she waved her tentacles madly to regain her grip on Marx.
One of Chuchu's tentacles knocked off Marx's jester's hat.
This revealed two things. One: Marx's shiny light-purple head was completely bald. And two: he had been hiding the last star rod shard under his hat.
"Ah-ha!" shouted Chuchu with joy, momentarily banishing Dark Matter from her mind. Then, before Chuchu could close her mouth again, the shard had fallen into it.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" shrieked Marx.
Chuchu swallowed automatically a split-second before...
Whump!
...she landed in a cloud. (They were, after all, in Cloudy Park.)
"Thar she rolls!" crooned Captain Birdbrain on sighting "Stone Wheel Kirby".
"Perfect," said Meta Knight. "Now, Sasuke; use this ship's lasers to direct Kirby toward that lake in the distance."
"What is your plan, Sir?" asked Meta Axe.
"Yes," put in Meta Lance. "How is allowing Kirby to hide underwater going to help us?"
"Escargoon," called Meta Knight. "Thank you for the list of weapons you gave me. Are you sure every one of these are in the cargo car?"
"Positive," answered Escargoon.
"Excellent. In that case, I will need three of the electric depth charges."
"I knew those would come in handy at some point!" cheered Escargoon. "I'll go get them."
"Electric depth charges?" questioned Meta Blade.
"Yes," explained Meta Knight. "Once dropped in water, they emit a violent surge of electricity into their surroundings. It's much like what Meta Drone can do, just more powerful. Powerful enough to destroy all life in that little lake."
"Kirby is headed straight for the lake, Sir," announced Sasuke.
"Meta Chain! Poppy! Escargoon!" said Meta Knight quickly. "We must waste no time. You each take a depth charge and get ready to throw right when Kirby reaches the lake. We need to get him while he's under."
Darn lasers! thought Kirby. Don't they ever give up?
"Have you ever skipped stones on water, Kirby?" asked Gooey, interrupting Kirby's thoughts with a seemingly random question.
"Sure I have," replied Kirby, unable to figure out how he could still speak without a mouth. "Why?"
"Speed up, Kirby," said Gooey. "Get going as fast as you can. This is very important."
"Ready..." said Meta Knight as the arsenal ship hovered over the lake. "Throw!"
Meta Chain, yellow-suited Poppy Brothers Senior and Escargoon all tossed their depth charges at once.
"What?!" exclaimed Meta Knight. "How can he- Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!"
"Whoa... Plan F failed too, dudes," said Meta Drone.
Kirby had sped up fast enough. He now moved so fast that, when he got to the lake, he drove right over the water, just skimming the top.
The depth charges splashed in and activated behind him, but he was already back on dry land!
Oh, thought Kirby. Skipping stones... Now I get it!
"Darn it!" shouted Meta Knight. "How can a stone travel over water without sinking?!"
"Haven't you ever skipped stones, Meta Knight?" asked Sasuke.
"Oh, shut up!"
"Wow," said Meta Axe, looking down at the lake. "The fish are all dead."
The lake's surface was now pockmarked with the bodies of dead fish.
"It's just like when lightning strikes a pond," he finished.
"Kirby might have been floating among those fish had this plan succeeded," said Yamikage.
"Oh, well," said Meta Knight dejectedly. "There's always plan G."
"What does that involve?" hissed Meta Lance.
"I'll tell you later."