Chapter 73: Return of the Goons
"I came as soon as you called. What is your wish this late in the game? You have already possessed half the planet."
"Do you perchance remember a particularly annoying octopus by the name of Chuchu?"
"Hmm... Let's see... Ah, yes. I do remember killing an annoying octopus."
"What are you talking about? Chuchu is in this bag right here!"
"Oh. Um... Oh, right. I killed a squishy. A squid. Not an octopus. Yeah, it was really annoying me on those pinball tables. It kept grabbing my ball."
"Shut up. As I was saying, this octopus has been traveling with Kirby, helping him with his quest. That is, she has until now. But after they were separated, Chuchu managed to ingest the last remaining piece of the star rod."
"And you want me to get it out, eh?"
"Yes. I must possess her body again. It is one of the best fighting forces in Dreamland. Besides, simply destroying her would release the shard anyway."
"I'll get right on it."
The Meta Clan arrived back at the Meta Base (on Mecheye) in celebration. Kirby was gone. Now only Dark Matter remained.
But somehow, Meta Knight and Escargoon did not join in the festivities (which are unimportant to the storyline). Meta Knight always took time to reflect after a mission, no matter if it failed or succeeded. Escargoon had never been on a mission and had never been given a real sense of accomplishment after doing anything other than inventing or constructing. Escargoon decided to stand next to Meta Knight as the warrior leaned against a wall away from the party.
"Escargoon," said Meta Knight, starting up a conversation, "I heard that you were working on something in the cargo car while we were trying to kill Kirby. Might I ask what that was?"
"Oh, that?" answered Escargoon. "I was actually working on two projects simultaneously. The first was, in fact, a Dark Matter serum."
"Interesting..."
"Yes, Sir Meta Knight. I'm really close on this one. I figure that a Dark Matter vaccination should work, effectively protecting us from possession. Once it has been injected into the blood stream and eliminated by the mind, that mind will be able to instantly repel any other Dark Matter interference."
"That sounds risky. Are you sure the recipient will suffer no brain damage?"
"I am positive. But if any does occur, the sum of the brain cells disturbed will be so small as to be negligible. In fact, I'm getting quite excited about this. Maybe I should go back to the ship and continue to work on it. I may have it done by morning."
"Really? Excellent. By the way, what time is it?" Meta Knight had noticed that Escargoon was wearing a watch.
Escargoon had been wearing that watch since after the war. It showed a large, yellow star-shape in the center, around which moved a red dot that signified the sun. What did you expect? In the Starred System, time is measured by how far the sun is around Pop Star, the largest planet in the system. Starting at the top of the star, the "points" are numbered clockwise, as are the "indents".
"It's four and third points, Sir Meta Knight," answered Escargoon.
That meant that the sun had traveled three-fifths of the distance between the fourth indent and the forth point. Everything time-wise was measured in fives. The official time of "dawn" has always been when the sun reaches the fifth point.
"Yeah, I should get back to work," continued Escargoon. "I don't need sleep. Those Peppy Tonics keep me healthy without it."
"Would you mind if I sampled one of those?" asked Meta Knight. "I have some business that I would like to get done by morning myself."
"What kind of business?"
"That is not your concern."
"Ah. Well, if it's none of my business, I'll just get the Peppy Tonic."
Late that night... well, actually it was already late that night when Meta Knight retreated to his quarters to remove his mask and drink the energizing Peppy Tonic. Anyway, Meta Knight then ventured back over to the computer room where he had ordered Yuki from NightMare Enterprises. Another monster was required.
"Hey there, MK," said the sales guy from the huge computer screen. "How's Yuki treating ya?"
"Yuki was assassinated by Kirby, the Star Warrior that we have just destroyed after striving to do so for an annoyingly long time," answered Meta Knight.
"I am both pleased and sorry to hear that, MK. Are you back for another? Nightmare has been in communication with us and that means that you have obviously not gotten around to destroying Dark Matter. He thinks you have accepted defeat, but..." he leaned closer to the screen and spoke softly, "I don't think I believe that." The sales guy grinned.
"I know you're just in this business for money," replied Meta Knight, "so let's cut to the chase."
"Hold on there, MK," interrupted the sales guy, backing away from the screen, arms stretched out wide. "You haven't allowed me to tell you that we have a special today. You can buy one monster and get another of equal or lesser value half-off! That means that you could buy our most powerful monster and then get any other one you want at half the price!"
"You have a most powerful monster?" Meta Knight was intrigued. "What is it?"
The sales guy grinned. His plan had worked.
"This behemoth behind me is a real heavyweight by the name of Masher," he said.
"What monster behind you?" replied Meta Knight. The background behind the sales guy was nothing but dark sienna.
"This is his foot, MK," said the sales guy. "You wouldn't believe how big he is even if I told you."
Meta Knight raised an eyebrow behind his mask.
"And he wields a super-powerful mace," continued the sales guy. "One of its spikes would be about twice your size!"
"I'll take it," said Meta Knight softly. He didn't care if he had been lured into buying; Masher sounded indestructible. In fact, he just had to ask, "What is he made out of?"
"Super-steel alloy," answered the sales guy. "A favorite of those who like strong infantry tanks."
"Hmm," said Meta Knight. Super-steel was good, but it wasn't indestructible. "I'll still accept the monster, but I need something indestructible to go with it."
"You got it, MK. I believe I have just what you're looking for. Meet Captain Stitch." A gordo floated over in back of the sales guy, but this was no ordinary gordo. Its body and spikes were four times the size of those on a regular one, but its eyes were the same size (and to make them even smaller, they were half-closed).
Meta Knight had never seen a gordo before, so he asked the first thing that came to his mind: "What is he made out of?"
"Super-steel and iridium alloy," answered the sales guy. "Non-conductive, magnetized to repel gravity, and... most importantly... one hundred percent indestructible!"
Captain Stitch did not move. It glared at Meta Knight, its eyes still half-closed. It looked a lot more menacing than the marginally-cute gordos.
"Deal," said Meta Knight.
Suddenly, an alarm went off: a wailing blast that repeated every few seconds with the accompaniment of red light.
"Is there a problem?" asked the sales guy.
Meta Knight just stood there. He couldn't believe this was happening.
"Commence download!" he shouted, rushing out the door. "You bill me this time! I'll pay as soon as I get it!"
"OK, MK," said the sales guy. "By the way, Masher will have to be sent to a location that can accommodate it. Is there anywh Come back, Sir! We're not finished yet!"
Meta Knight rushed back.
"Send it to the green star!" he shouted before running away again. "You'll find it!"
Meta Knight rushed to the spaceship dock. The rest of the Meta Clan was already there (except for Escargoon, who was still in the cargo car and therefore unable to hear the alarm).
"What's going on?" asked Meta Sword. "What's this alarm for?"
"Yeah," said Meta Blade. "We were just about to get some well-deserved sleep."
"You're not being fair," said Meta Chain.
"Too... tired..." rumbled Big Wheelie.
"This place has never had an alarm before!" hissed Meta Lance.
All the Meta Clan began complaining at once.
"Kirby has reached the top of Titan Tower," interrupted Meta Knight.
What followed was a shocked silence, other than the still-wailing alarm.
"But..." stammered Meta Axe, "he can't... I mean, he won't... be able to... get any of It out of there."
"Barely any," answered Meta Knight, "but that is of no importance. I assure you that It is safe, but now we are not. Kirby can now exit Titan Tower. Sasuke, ready another arsenal ship. We must leave at once."
NOTE TO THE READER: Sorry about the short chapter, but now that school's over, you should be seeing more frequent updates! Yeah, I really gotta get moving here. As it turns out, a lot more people are reading this than I thought! I can't disappoint my fans, so just know that you're the ones that keep me going. Thanks for all the great reviews. GameTrekker out!