They did make it back to Starbug safely. Rimmer took Lister to the medi-bay on his own while the Cat and Kryten took off and got them clear of the zone. He didn't want them to see Lister's injuries. After gently cleaning his wounds, he put him under the healing lamp. With luck, he'd be better by the time Kryten came fussing around.
He sat nearby and watched him silently, trying to work out what had just happened. As far as he could tell, one of his negative emotions had taken Lister captive and one of his positive emotions had saved him, but what parts of his psyche had been responsible for the battle? Last time they were in a place like this, Rimmer's Self-Loathing had been the controlling force of his mind; but back then his Confidence and Self-Esteem had mounted a charge to vanquish it. But neither of the figures he'd seen today matched those emotions. They weren't black-cowled monsters or dashing cavaliers, they seemed more fundamental somehow. Almost like...dare he say it...demons and angels.
He played over it again and again in his head; what they'd done, the things they'd said. As long as you want him, so do I...As your desire grows, so does my power...
So, Rimmer reasoned, the demon had been a physical representation of his sexuality. It had been the embodiment of his desires; both his attraction to Lister and his...Well, he might as well face it...his slightly sadistic sexual leanings. That was why he had been unable to beat it by himself. He couldn't change the way he was wired up inside. He couldn't change what aroused him, what he found erotic. He couldn't stop wanting Lister.
So how had they escaped? What part of him had managed to fight back his raging libido? Was it his restraint? His sense of decency? His goodness? None of those things seemed quite right. He racked his brains. I am the only part of you stronger than he was...Only that strength was never tested until today...
The answer came to Rimmer like the breaking of a golden dawn over a dark horizon; slowly but inevitably spreading its light through his mind. The only thing that had been stronger than his arousal had been the urge – no, the need – to protect Lister. To save him. He had not wanted to fullfill this fantasy at the cost of Lister's suffering. He would not pay for his sexual gratification with Lister's life.
He loved him too much.
He stood up and went to Lister's bedside, watching over him. Yes, it all made sense now. His love for Lister had been stronger than anything else; and that was why it had been able to beat back his lust monster, why it had been able to snap the chains holding him prisoner. Why it had been able to let him go. He knelt down beside the bed and gently stroked Lister's hand. How could he ever explain this to him? How could he tell him he was responsible for what he'd just been through?
Lister's eyes flickered and suddenly he was awake; his eyes open and looking about. They settled on Rimmer. "Where am I?" he asked weakly. He seemed tired but fairly alert. The effects of the drugging must have been easing off.
"You're in the medi-bay," Rimmer told him softly, "You're okay."
"I had the weirdest dream," he whispered, "There was this creature in this temple...And it was you somehow. But you were there too and..." He stopped and frowned, as if struck by a sudden headache, "It was so confusing. I can't..."
"It's okay, Lister," Rimmer shushed him soothingly, "You had a hallucination, that's all. Something to do with that planet we landed on. But it's over now. We took off about half an hour ago. You're going to be just fine."
"It felt so real..." Lister said, his eyes troubled.
"Well, hallucinations are like that. Remember the Despair Squid? Don't worry yourself about it. You're safe and sound, that's the important thing. No harm done."
"Right. Okay," Lister said meekly, seeming too tired to argue. He closed his eyes and within moments was sound asleep again.
Rimmer sighed. He stood up and made his way out to the cockpit. Kryten looked up anxiously as he came in, "How's Mister Lister? Is he alright?"
"He's fine," Rimmer replied, "He's sleeping the whole thing off. He thinks it was all a hallucination; and – quite frankly – I think it might be best if we let him believe that."
"Why?" Kryten was surprised.
"Those psi-moons are really disturbing places. I don't know exactly what happened to him, he doesn't seem to be hurt, but it still doesn't sound pleasant. He said something about a creature and a temple...I just think it might be better for him to think of it all as a really screwed-up dream rather than face what it could all really mean."
"Perhaps you're right," Kryten agreed thoughtfully, "It must have all been very traumatic for him."
"Right," Rimmer agreed, trying not to let his relief show on his face, "It seems stupid to drag the whole thing out by psycho-analysing the experience. This way he can just put it behind him and move on. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Kryten nodded.
Rimmer wandered back to the medi-bay to watch over Lister. He felt sad, but also satisfied in a weird kind of way. At least he learned a few things from this whole debacle. He'd learned that it was possible for he – Arnold J Rimmer – to love someone. Despite all his failings, it was still possible for him to feel that for another person. And he'd also learned that no matter how much he wanted Lister, he could keep those feelings in check so long as he knew that it was the right thing to do. And for now that was the right thing to do. For now at least.