Chapter 84: Hail to the Thief

"Uh, where are we, like, going?" asked Chuchu as she and Gooey flew.

"Our first destination is Machine Passage," said Gooey. "Once there, we will use its cannons to launch a long-range assault on Lololo and Lalala's fortress."

Chuchu gave Gooey a confused look. "Why?" she asked.

"With the destruction of Castle Dedede, Dark Matter was forced to set up base in Lololo and Lalala's fortress. I plant to use these cannons to drive Dark Matter and those under its possession out of the Dark Cloud completely with a rain of fire."

"And how will that, like, help us?"

"It will help us by allowing us to get to Kirby without being possessed in the Dark Cloud. Once we have rescued him, we will knock him out so that his mind will reject Dark Matter's possession, allowing him to finish the mission he started."

"But what about the star rod? It's still down in the Dark Cloud, isn't it?"

"We'll figure out how to retrieve that later. The act of rescuing Kirby is more urgent."

"But why don't we just get the star rod now and, like, beat Dark Matter ourselves? Why do we need Kirby?" This was Chuchu's seventh question in a row.

"And then what? What if we do get the star rod and lose to Dark Matter? Neither of us watched Kirby's battle with it. Only he knows how the eye fights. With such knowledge, Kirby will be able to win in a rematch. But, if one of us tries battling instead, Dark Matter will probably trick us just like Kirby. If either of us falls in battle, the entire Milky Way galaxy will be consumed by Dark Matter."

Chuchu bit her lip, biting back the urge to ask something else. She didn't want to annoy Gooey too much. He had been testy enough on the phone.

"Dark Matter! Dark Matter!"

"What is it Nightmare?"

"Galaxia! It has been stolen!"

"WHAT?"

"Just as I was handing it to one of the Meta Clan, Meta Knight swooped in out of nowhere and the sword was gone!"

"That is a shame, but not a disaster. Meta Knight knows not where my eye is located, nor will he be able to find it. We will have to be cautious with him still at large."

"Why don't you just move your eye to another planet? Meta Knight doesn't have access to a starship. You could begin your conquest of the closest planet now. I believe it's called Aqualiss.

King Dedede applauded. "Thank you Nightmare. That is exactly what I shall do. This solves our little Meta Knight problem. Pop Star is mine, so I shall move on. Prepare this fortress for takeoff. I'm taking everything to Aqualiss."

KABOOM!

King Dedede looked wildly around. "What was that?" he asked.

"I don't know," replied Nightmare.

KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM!

"Someone's firing at us!" exclaimed King Dedede. "It can't be Meta Knight, can it?!"

"Whoever it is, we must launch a counteroffensive at once!"

"This fortress is holding. Nightmare, search out the source of the attack and neutralize it. We cannot take off in these conditions."

"Yes, Dark Matter."

"So... ROB. What skills do you possess exactly?"

"My primary function is to be a mechanic."

"Strike one. I can already fix nearly anything."

"My secondary function is scanning to locate either items of great hazard or of great value."

"Perfect. That's exactly the kind of help I need."

"And I sense an item of immense value nearby."

"Oh?" Tac raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. It is approximately seven yards in the direction I am facing, then straight down."

"Well, then. Would you be able to get it for me?"

"I'll try," replied ROB cheerfully.

Tac's helicopter was hovering above the Dark Cloud and a very long rope was let out of it for ROB to climb down. The helicopter was Tac's own invention. It shot anti-matter particles from its blades to enable it to fly through space. After a few minutes, ROB reemerged.

"Did you get it?" asked Tac eagerly.

"Yes," answered ROB, opening a compartment in his midsection and pulling out the "item". "I found it lodged under a waterwheel."

Tac stared at it. ROB had just recovered the Great Star Rod of Light!

"This is the legendary star rod!" exclaimed Tac. "We could use this to save Pop Star!"

"Really?" replied ROB. "Is Pop Star in trouble?"

Tac looked down at the Dark Cloud and thought about that for a moment.

"On second thought," said Tac, "Pop Star looks nice and peaceful. Let's go to Aqualiss and sell this thing. I'm gonna be rich!"

"Chuchu!" shouted Gooey. "Wait! Stop! Hold your fire!"

Chuchu abandoned her cannon and flew over.

""What is it?" she asked.

"The Great Star Rod of Light is on the move," replied Gooey.

"What?"

Gooey pointed to a screen that had appeared on his warpstar. It showed a map of the Starred System and a little yellow dot was slowly traveling between Pop Star and Aqualiss.

"This is my personal, custom-made warpstar," explained Gooey. "It features a link to my computers at base. It shows me whenever something important to my mission occurs."

"But, how could the star rod be, like, moving?"

"That's what I'm wondering. We must go after it. We don't know what's going on with it, so someone might have stolen it. If the star rod is broken again, we may lose all hope of recovering it. I shall be back shortly with the equipment needed for using the warpstars to travel through space. You stay here and keep firing at the fortress while I'm gone."

Gooey flew off.

Silence.

Chuchu flew back over to her cannon, took aim... and noticed something approaching her that was traveling from the vicinity of where she was firing. It was huge. Soon it was close enough for her to see it clearly.

It was Nightmare and he was now nearing the size of Masher.

Wasting no time, Chuchu shot Nightmare in the face, which had no effect.

Chuchu quickly retreated into the inside of Machine Passage, hoping to hide from Nightmare, who had obviously come to investigate the source of the shots. She flew under a bridge in a very large room to wait until Nightmare had left. She hoped Gooey would be gone until that time.

A huge black monstrosity in a tank was all that kept her company. It had three eyes that remained fixed on her. Chuchu wished it would look away.

After a few minutes, Chuchu flew out from her hiding place and went back outside. Looking around, she saw Nightmare, a ways away, peering into each corridor that led inside. He was too big. Eventually, Nightmare got annoyed and crushed a portion of Machine Passage with his floating hands. Then he moved on.

Chuchu had had wonderful timing, because that was then Gooey returned. Chuchu was unsure as to whether Gooey had noticed Nightmare or not; if he had, he didn't care.

Gooey had brought another warpstar. Chuchu boarded it and her old one disappeared.

"These warpstars will automatically produce airtight pods when flown into space," said Gooey. "They are very expensive to make, so make sure yours lasts you the trip to Aqualiss and back. Let's go."

"Soh, Taaaaac, whate ya gote fer meh toe-day?"

"I've got a real special item today, Elieel."

"Rileh? Shuh meh."

Tac produced the star rod. Elieel, a sentient eel who lived in a clay pot filled with water, looked it over.

"It just sparkles, doesn't it," commented ROB. "I found it myself."

"Hussss yer freeend?" asked Elieel.

"That's ROB," answered Tac. "I saved him from the clutches of NME."

"Aynd soh, heh rihwurdeed ya wite deeessss?"

"Yep. Anyway, how much will you pay for such a treasure?"

"He won't be paying you anything," interrupted Chuchu. She and Gooey had just landed. "We'll be taking the star rod."

Tac gave the pair a very confused and surprised look. A blue blob and an octopus? he thought. What the hell?

"Aynd, huh ore thah?" asked Elieel.

"I haven't the faintest idea," replied Tac.

Gooey and Chuchu carefully landed their warpstars to prevent them from disappearing, and then disembarked. They were now standing on a beach in the shade of a palm tree.

"Alright, hand it over," finished Chuchu, "and no one gets hurt."

Tac stifled a laugh. He had no idea what was going on. Elieel, however, jumped to conclusions.

"Kveeeck! Tac!" he yelled. "Gueeeef shinneh thyng ta meh!"

Chuchu raced forward and tackled Elieel's clay pot to prevent the star rod from being handed over. Elieel retracted inside a split-second before impact. The pot fell over and smashed on the ground, spilling water everywhere, but Elieel had vanished.

"Huh?" said Chuchu, confused.

"Ya crassseh bysh!" yelled Elieel's unmistakable voice from a distance. "Ih wuze dun bize-neeesss her! Noe ya goh ayn brak mih poat! Scruh ya! Ih aym gohyng ta fin oonoothoor dell eelssswar!"

Chuchu saw where the eel's voice was coming from. Another pot identical to the first stood a few yards away and out of it Elieel was shouting. Chuchu looked farther and could see a long line of pots all across the beach.

"How did he..." began Chuchu, but Tac interrupted.

"I don't know who the hell you are," he said, "but you just blew what could have been the biggest deal of my career and for that you're gonna pay!"

"Oh, yeah?" retorted Chuchu. "Bring it on!"

"Do you really want to fight me?! Be warned. I have lightning speed and reflexes li-"

Tac fell unconscious on the ground. Chuchu had given him a nasty smack with one of her tentacles.

Silence.

"Savior!" shouted ROB franticly. "Are you still operational? Speak to me!"

"Don't worry, robot," said Gooey, taking the star rod from Tac. "Your master has simply been knocked unconscious; he will reawaken eventually."

"Who is he?" asked Chuchu, looking at Tac.

"Seems like he's just a common thief," replied Gooey. "But I can't shake the feeling that he's more significant than that. Oh, wait. My warpstar's telling me something. WHAT?! How is that possible?!"

"What happened?"

"Lololo and Lalala's fortress has taken off and is headed this way! It's following us to Aqualiss!"