Thanks for all the reveiws. Oh, and if your wondering, most of the story will take place in Vicky's past. I promise this will get better. (I didn't really like the first few chapters, but oh well) Happy reading....I won't say that anymore :)

Chapter 3: I Thought They Loved Me

Sept, 6 4:30 pm

Tomorrow is the first day of school and I'm scared. I don't want to go. My mom said I would like it, but I don't believe her. I never believe her, even when she tells me she loves me. I just can't for some reason.

That was all that was written for that day. How she didn't think her mom loved her? She wondered to herself, why she would think that. As she did, she saw memories flash in her head, memories of that day.

Flash Back

"Mommy, I don't want to go!" A young Vicky said. She was five years old at the time.

"Honey, you'll have a lot of fun, trust me." Vicky's mother replied back to her. Vicky didn't seem too sure though.

"But what about bullies?" Vicky cried. She didn't want to go. And she was making it pretty clear. She threw herself on the ground and wailed, clinging on to her mother's feet.

"Vicky, please stop. You'll have fun, trust me." Her mother said reassuringly. She rested a hand on Vicky's back, but Vicky quickly pushed it away. She didn't trust her mom, she never had. "Vicky, come on now. It's time to go." She said as she picked her up. Vicky struggled to get down. She didn't want to be held by her mom.

The struggle continued to the car. Vicky's mom buckled her into the back seat of the old rusted car.

"Mommy, I don't want to go!" Vicky said again, but her mom had made up her mind, she was going wether she liked it or not.

"Vicky, you'll have fun, I promise. And I bet you'll make lots of friends too!" Vicky's mother said gently as she turned to look at her daughter. Vicky looked back with sad eyes.

"Promise?" She said quietly.

"I promise." She said back. Then she backed the car out of the beaten up garage and drove off to Dimmsdale preschool. As they were driving, Vicky stared out the window and muttered something to herself.

"Yeah, right." She said quietly. Her mother didn't hear her, which was probably better, but Vicky didn't really care if she did hear it. She never believed her mother. No matter what she told Vicky, no matter what she said would come true, it never happened. Today would be no different.

They rounded the corner as the school came into view. Vicky looked the other way. She didn't want to go to school. Her mom had told her she was lucky to even be going. She didn't think so. She thought it was her parents way of getting rid of her for the whole day.

"Vicky, were here." Her mother said as she got out of the car. She went around and opened the door. "Come on Vicky." She coaxed

Vicky looked away, she didn't want to get out of the car.

"Come on honey." Her mom said again as she unbuckled Vicky. Vicky looked around the school yard. She could she small kids rushing out of their car seats. They were all smiling. She didn't know why though, for her, there was no reason to smile. Finally, Vicky stepped down from the car. The building, though fairly small, seemed to loom over her. Vicky turned away.

"Well, good-bye Vicky. I have to go to my job interview now. I'll see you at 12:00." Her mom said. And with that she drove off, not even waiting for her only daughter to say good-bye. Vicky didn't watch her mom drive away, she didn't even wave. Instead she looked around. She spotted a tree near the building and wandered over to it absent-mindedly.

Vicky sat herself down at the foot of the tree and watched the other kids play. No one came over to her, no one seemed to care of the small red-haired girl sitting alone. But it was probably better this way. She didn't really want friends. She'd show her mom.

"Children, time to come inside!" A lady called out. The kids all stopped playing and rushed over. Vicky was a little reluctant, but she couldn't stay out here all day, she'd get in trouble. Finally, she got up and trudged over to line up with the other kids. She took a spot at the end of the line, hoping no one would notice her.

"Hey kid, come on or your gonna get in trouble!" A random kid said. He was talking to Vicky, but she took no notice.

"Hey, your gonna be late!" He yelled again. Vicky looked up and notice the line was moving without her. She walked over to join the rest of the kids, though she did not look up.

"Hey, who are you anyway?" The kid asked her. Vicky looked at him and frowned in response, then looked down again. She didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment.

Once inside, the children were instructed to take a seat on the rug. Vicky chose a seat far back in the room, away from the other kids. She curled up and pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them. There she sat for about five minutes while the other kids got situated and settled down.

"Would you like to sit with me?" A little girl asked Vicky. Vicky raised her head and looked up. The girl smiled cheerfully back.

"No, leave me alone." Vicky responded harshly. Then she turned around to face the other way and waited for her to leave.

"Okay!" The girl replied happily. Then she skipped off to sit with her own friends. Vicky still didn't turn around though.

Once everyone was settled down, the teacher introduced herself. Vicky didn't catch her name though, she didn't care. She wasn't about to ask her anything anyway.

After the teacher introduced herself, she told each of the kids to introduce themselves. She went around the room and asked each kid their name.

Vicky wasn't paying much attention to the class. When the teacher reached her, Vicky barley noticed.

"It's your turn, dear." The teacher said in a sickeningly sweet voice. Vicky lifted her head and looked the teacher in the eye.

"Vicky." She mumbled so no one could hear her.

"What was that?" The teacher asked her. All the kids turned to face her.

"Vicky." She mumbled under her breath again. The class still couldn't hear her.

"Could you repeat it one more time.." The teacher started, but Vicky cut her off.

"I said my name is VICKY!" She shouted. The whole class heard her this time. Vicky sat down and turned away after this display, waiting to see what their reactions would be.

"That's a nice name, but there was no need to shout." The teacher replied, then she moved on to the next kid. From that moment on, Vicky decided she wouldn't talk to anyone at all. The rest of the class would now and forever consider her an outcast, not that Vicky cared.

At snack time, when all the kids got to pick either chocolate of vanilla cookies, Vicky didn't pick anything, she just looked away. She was the only one who didn't eat anything.

At story time, when the class got to vote on the story, Vicky took no part in it. She stayed silent and looked away. She didn't feel like reading anyway.

At nap time, when all the kids got their sleeping rugs, Vicky stayed where she was. She didn't have a rug to lay on, her mom said she didn't need one. Instead, Vicky laid on the tiled floor, not even bothering to close her eyes.

After nap time was over, the children were told to play outside for the last fifteen minutes before their parents came. Vicky walked out behind all the other kids. When she got outside, she went straight over to the tree and hugged her knees to her chest. She watched the other kids play on the playground. In a way, she envied them. But she mostly didn't care. She didn't care that they were happier than her or that they all had friends. She was an outcast, she wasn't supposed to have any friends.

After about fifteen minutes, parents came to pick up their kids. Their bright, shiny cars pulled into the parking lot. She watched as the caring parents got out and looked for their children. When they found them, the children would come running, happy to see them. The child would show his or her mom a picture she drew or tell them about school that day. Then the parents would hug them and buckle them into their car seat. They would drive off, happy to be together.

Vicky watched each and every child leave until she was the last one there. She wondered to herself when she would see her mom's rusty car turn the corner. Not that she wanted to see her mom, she just wanted to go home and get away from school. So she sat and waited.

About an hour later, Vicky saw the car. Inside her, she was happy, but she didn't show it. Her mom got out of the car and looked around the deserted playground, as if she was expecting Vicky to be playing on it. When her mom spotted Vicky sitting under the tree, she came rushing over.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry I was so late!" She said and hugged her daughter. Vicky pushed her off.

"You promised I would have fun." Vicky said coldly. Her mom looked at her

"But didn't you have fun?" Her mom asked her back. Vicky stared at her in the eyes, frowning. She made the answer dead obvious.

"Oh Vicky, I'm sorry you didn't have fun, but I'm sure tomorrow will be better." She said as she took Vicky's hand and led her to the car. Vicky looked at the ground at muttered under her breath "I don't want to go tomorrow." Her mom took no notice to this.

By the time they got home it was 1:30. As soon as Vicky stepped foot into the house she ran up to her room, not even bothering to look at her mom.

"Vicky, are you okay?" Her mom called up to her, but there was no answer. Vicky made it clear that she didn't want to be with or talk to her mom at the moment.

Up in her room, Vicky pulled out her diary. Her parents had given it to her for her fifth birthday. It was the only thing she got. She opened it up to the first blank page and dated it. Then she wrote...

Sept 7th, 1:45 pm

School was horrible, I'm never going back there again. Mom said it would be fun, but mom was wrong. Mom is always wrong.

Then she closed it and stuck it under her pillow.

A/N: Oh the angst! Can you handle it? (I can) Wow, Vicky seems to dislike everything around her! None of this is really true for the show, this is just a crazy fanfic...written by a crazt person! (lol) Hope you all like it so far! :)