CHAPTER 5

She sat up with a jerk, finding herself in familiar surrounds.

"It's my bedroom..." Duo was gone, the room empty of even a trace of him. The light from the windows was drawing tiny designs across the carpet, beating the clock to the fact it was morning.

A soft creak echoed from the hallway, sending her eyes across the room to the door. It slowly opened, a braided head popping in.

"You're awake!"

"Yeah..." she answered quietly, still avoiding a good look in his eyes. He opened the door fully, revealing a tray spread with some breakfast items.

"Can I come in?" Duo looked at her. He didn't want to scare her so he figured he should ask. Kody's eyes watched him for a moment then she nodded briefly. He stepped in and placed the tray on the table beside her. "Breakfast anyone?" Duo smirked and she looked up.

"I'm not hungry."

"Come on. Don't you wanna grow up to be and strong?" He flexed his muscles in an attempt to make her laugh. It worked slightly. She smirked. At least he was making progress.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Duo pretended to pout them took a spoon and put some eggs on it and made little plane noises.

"Shh...Plane 401...Shh...Requesting permission to land...Shh..." Duo "piloted" the spoon towards her mouth. "Come on. Open up."

Kody raised a hand and slapped the spoon from his hand.

"Don't joke, Duo."

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to make you feel better." He sighed and picked up the egg from the floor then looked at her. She stood up and walked away from him.

"Leave me alone."

"I want to help you."

"Then leave me alone."

"Yeah, sure, like that'll help." Duo rolled his eyes, putting the eggs away in a napkin and then throwing it in the direction of the trash.

"It'll help me. So get out." She turned her back to him, swallowing down the doubt that was building up in her throat.

"What if I don't?" She felt the vibration on the bed and turned her head slightly to see him sitting there, his hands crossed over his chest.

"Then I'll make you get out." She answered shakily, standing up just as uneasily. He stood too, walking in front of her.

"Go ahead." She took a step forward and pushed into him, trying to make him budge out of the room.

He wouldn't move, and she wasn't making any progress pushing into him. Finally, Duo placed his hands on her shoulders, stopping her completely.

"See? You can't push me away, physically or emotionally."

"Yes, but I can shut you out." She crossed her arms and tried to back out of his grasp. A frustrated look crossed his face as he let her go.

"You know, you really are just as hard as Heero. The doctors sure did a job on ya."

She stopped all movement immediately, almost as if she were turning to stone.

"The doctors..." The fear gripped her, the fear of the doctors and last night. She shuddered.

"Hey, you okay?" She could feel his hand touching her arm again.

"I'm... I'm fine..." She placed a hand on her forehead, trying to steady her thoughts.

"I don't think so. What do you need?"

"I need you to stop touching me!" She batted his hand away violently, watching the look of surprise spread across his face.

"I need all of you to just stop."

"All of who?"

"Men.... all of them."

"Even me?"

"Yes! You most of all!" She looked up and saw a flash of hurt in Duo's eyes. She swallowed and felt a pinch of guilt well up inside of her stomach. She closed her eyes a moment. They flew open when she heard her door shut and she realized that Duo was standing before her with a stern look on his face. She took a step back as that guilt was replaced by fear. So that was what he had planned: save her and get her to trust him...but it must not have gone how he had planned. She backed up until she felt her back hit a wall. She closed her eyes and shivered.

"I thought you were different from everyone else." A gentle hand lifted her chin to look into his eyes.

"I am." She closed her eyes. "Open your eyes, Kody. Why can't you see that I car about you? If I hadn't why would I have bothered to take you out on a date...and why would I have bothered to come after you after you left?"

"I...I don't know..." Duo leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

"Then leave me alone, Duo," she said quietly. "If you don't want anyone to hurt me again, just leave me alone. You'll hurt me." She wouldn't look at him.

Duo laughed for a moment, a short, scoffing laugh.

"I won't do that. I know myself too well. So just give it up." She looked at him doubtingly, seeing that signature Duo-smile on his face. "Just give me a chance."

"I... I don't... I..."

"You can. Just screw your fears and take a leap. Haven't I proven you can trust me by now, Kody?"

"Duo, I don't know..." She bowed her head a little, focusing on the ground.

"Well, hey, at least you didn't flat out tell me I'm a worthless baka or something!" Duo replied happily, laughing lightly. "But I'll let you think about it, Kody. I don't want to just dump this on you now and all... you're still recovering and... uh..."

She grinned slightly, "Thanks, Duo."

"Anytime!" She smiled at him slightly. He turned heading to the door and opened it up then turned back to her. "Eat your breakfast before it gets cold."

"I will." He gave her the famous Duo Maxwell Trademark smile and turned to leave her alone in her room. She sat down on the bed and picked up a piece of toast. She felt something wet on her hand and looked down. Another drop fell. Then she realized they were her tears. She whipped her eyes and looked at the tray of foods then looked at the door Duo has left through. No one had ever done something so nice to her before. She smiled and took a bite of her toast. "I love you, Duo. But I can't show it. I don't think I have the courage to make that leap..."

Yes, the perfect Soldierette was talking to herself.

No, she wasn't going insane...she just needed to sort out her feelings.

She stood up and made her way to her dressed and slipped it open pulling out a small box. She flipped back the top and pulled out a few pictures until she came to an envelope with her name on the front. She took it back to her bed and sat down as she pulled out a piece of paper that looked as though it was old and had been read multiple times.

She let her eyes scan over the cursive handwriting. The date on the letter was December 25, AC 195.

She skimmed down the letter until a certain section caught her eye. She read it aloud.

"...Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you must travel the road from who you know you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make that journey." She sighed and moved her eyes down some more. "Love Always, your Father, Odin Lowe." She folded the letter. "I'll leap daddy...once I get my footing."