"Will it work?" Elrond asked, as he and Celeborn walked purposely back toward Celeborn's talan.
"Of course it will work! It's brilliant! It's genius! It's…it's…"
"Perverted?"
"Yes!" Celeborn laughed. "I can't think of a better way to spend the next fourteen weeks. Plus, you'll be able to get back in the bedroom with Celebrian. It's absolutely perfect!"
"Where can we get the necessary, er…items?" Elrond asked, raising an eyebrow at his long time friend.
"I know a seamstress who's very discreet…if she's paid well enough. She should have no trouble at all with the designs," Celeborn explained. He was clearly excited about their plans, as evident by the increasingly large bulge in the front of his leggings.
The two Elves made their way to the seamstress' talan, and soon had her bug-eyed, drop-jawed countenance smiling as she counted the gold they had paid for the work they wanted done.
Having secured a promise that the articles would be finished no later than the following afternoon, the two Elves spent the remainder of the day hashing out their plans.
-------------------------------------------------
At dusk the following day, Celeborn and Elrond stopped at the seamstress' talan and picked up their bundles. She had made them as close as possible to the desired design, and was quite pleased with the results. Once again impressing upon on her the importance of her silence, Celeborn reinforced his command with a few more gold pieces.
Leaving the talan, the two stopped for a moment in a deserted garden.
"We really should get in some practice before we hit Celebrian. She'll know if we're just winging it…and she won't tolerate amateurs," Elrond said worriedly.
"Um…how about her?" Celeborn asked, pointing at a lone Elleth who was strolling down the path into the garden. It was the Elleth from Haldir's talan the day before. Elrond nodded his assent, and they both smiled at the Elleth as she passed on the way home. Following her, they carefully watched which talan she went into.
They waited and watched for her to blow out the candles in her talan, indicating that she had gone to sleep for the night. Listening in at her window, they waited until her breathing regulated, before slipping silently into the talan, and into the nearest closet.
A few moments later, they burst from the closet, waking the Elleth, who reached for a throwing knife she kept under her pallet. The knife flew from her hand and impaled one of Elrond's braids to the wall.
"Who are you?" the Elleth demanded, sitting up on her pallet and lighting a candle.
"I am Teleporno, and this is my trusty sidekick, Orgasm-O! We are here to teach you the way of endless passion! Never fear, Teleporno is here!"
The Elleth's eye widened as she got her first good look at the two masked figures who stood in her talan. Teleporno and Orgasm-O were dressed just like those two comic book characters in the book that Haldir had! The very book he was crying about losing. Wow…and here they were, in her talan, in the flesh!
Stepping closer to the pallet, Teleporno said, tapping his foot a bit impatiently, "Milady, kindly remove your nightclothes and allow us to begin our instructions. We have many talans to visit tonight, and don't have much time." He stood with his hands on his hips, looking down at her, his impressive member standing erect in his crotchless leggings.
Orgasm-O stepped to the other side of the bed, already fumbling with the lacings of his leggings. He wished he had had the seamstress redesign his leggings to be more like Teleporno's easy-access leggings. This untying and re-tying business was going to get old fast.
The Elleth for her part was thrilled and excited to be paid a visit by the two comic book heroes and was hurriedly pulling her nightgown up and over her head.
Sitting naked on the bed, her eyes darting back and forth from one hero's secret weapon to the other's, she licked her lips in anticipation.
Her eyes widened as the two superheroes, jumped up, and hung suspended in the air above her for a split second, their capes unfurled behind them. They landed on top of her, Orgasm-O's mouth locked on her breast, and Teleporno's Elf-mobile securely parked in her Elf-cave.