AN: Penis Boy's Theme is based on the Sponge Bob Square Pants theme…and yes, I love that show…:P
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The room was dark, and Teleporno couldn't see a thing, despite his excellent elven eyesight.
Then he realized that the reason he couldn't see anything was because his mask had slipped down to cover his eyes.
Quickly he adjusted it. The room was still dark, but now he could see. The bed was empty, which was odd considering the time Galadriel usually went to bed.
Teleporno entered into the room fully, and quietly closed the door. He didn't see the figure behind him that had been hiding behind the open door. Hearing a quiet rustling, he turned abruptly, but it was too late.
The figure pounced and knocked him unconscious.
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Penis Boy ran along the walkway between the talans with his arms stretched out before him like he was flying. He was singing loudly at the top of his lungs…
"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH
Who lives in the woods far from the sea?
PENIS BOY, PENIS BOY
Sexy and stunning and horny is he!
PENIS BOY, PENIS BOY
With his Golden Wood, the Mirkwood Treasure!
PENIS BOY, PENIS BOY
Penis Boy will take any measure!
PENIS BOY, PENIS BOY
To bring you ultimate PLEASURE!
PENIS BOY, PENIS BOY!"
Unfortunately, Penis Boy was known for his inability to think and walk at the same time, and thus, tripped over the side of the walkway. Well, actually, do anything and walk…plus, he'd actually been running…
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Teleporno opened his eyes cautiously, unsure of what to expect. He tried to get up, but only discovered that he'd been tied down to his bed, spread eagle.
Little Teleporno apparently had been having good time while he'd been unconscious, as his member was quite erect.
A rustling sound in front of him brought his attention to a tall dark figure near the door. His mouth gaped open and eyes bugged out in shock as he took in the view. Galadriel, dressed as Tina Teaser, stood before him with a whip twisted in one hand and a feather duster in the other.
"So, Teleporno, you think you can just sneak into just anyone's bedroom and give them nights of immeasurable pleasure?" She walked up to the bed so that she stood right in his line of vision in between his legs.
"Who are you?" He whispered, having not gotten that far in the comic…
"IT IS I, TINA THE TEASER, and the BANE of TELEPORNO's Existence! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!" She threw her head back and laughed evilly.
"Do your worse, oh Evil One! I can handle it! You shall never defeat TELEPORNO!" Teleporno was awfully glad that Elrond and Thranduil weren't here to see him in this position. He'd never hear the end of it.
He wasn't worried about Legolas; the dumb blonde wouldn't have known up from down and actually, probably would have drowned in his own drool at the sight of Tina the Teaser.
"Is that a challenge, Oh Mighty Silver Mallorn?" She took the feather duster, slowly and barely touching him, and ran it up and down the length of his erection.
Teleporno clenched his teeth, trying desperately not to give into her wickedness, as sweat beaded on his forehead.
"Tonight is the night, Teleporno, when I will finally unmask you! And the Super Hero Teleporno will be no more!" Her evil laughter cackled through the air…
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When Penis Boy tripped he fell off the walkway, but fortunately had fallen through the roof of a talan underneath.
Conveniently, he'd landed in the middle of an elleth's bed, Beinie's to be exact.
Beinie also happened to sleep naked, and was quite attractive.
However, he was unconscious.
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Haldir walked into his talan and collapsed into his chair, exhausted from the week's activities.
Between Elven Lords running around Rivendell and Lorien dressed as Super-Sex-Heroes, Galadriel's psychotic plan, and border patrol, he was exhausted.
Fighting orcs was a vacation compared to this. Resting his arm on the armrest, he felt a piece of paper.
Picking it up, he read:
Come to my talan tonight, I have the Venom Dick costume ready for you.
Haldir wondered exactly what Rumil was thinking of doing, as he read his brother's handwriting.
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Thranduil sat drinking even more miruvor with Elrond and Celebdreth, when he suddenly realized he hadn't seen his son for several hours. A missing Legolas was a Legolas up to something…
"Celebdreth, go find Legolas for me."
The quiet elf stood up and left the talan. Elrond looked over at Thranduil.
"He is kinda creepy, don't you think? That elf."
Thranduil shrugged, "Lad's never been laid, but has the Johnson from Mordor. And doesn't know what to do with it…"