Talking Bushes: Part Six
By. Bento Box
06/30/04

--

It was a shame that Irvine was missing the spectacle of a determinedly stoic-faced commander and a fiery-faced martial artist chase down the flapping white tail coats that belonged to one rather unlucky Seifer Almasy. He could have made a hefty sum setting up a betting pool on who would be the one to reach Seifer first and strangle the tall blonde within an inch of his caustic, smirking, mocking life. As it were, the rest of Garden watched on in collective shock and amusement--all at a very safe distance of course.

Squall was in the lead, but by no means was Zell too far behind him. His longer legs and longer reach gave him an advantage, but he still missed catching a hold of the back of the taller man's jacket. Eyes narrowing slightly, he contemplated tossing further caution to the wind regarding his dignity and just jumping the other man and sending them both crashing towards the ground. Seifer would be depending on Squall to maintain at least a smidgen of decorum, and over the years Squall had learned that sometimes acting out of the norm could give one an advantage over the unsuspecting target.

Muscles tensing and focus entirely trained on the fleeing blonde, he made ready to pounce when oxygen abruptly left his lungs as he was rail sided by a whirl of pale blue and flying black hair.

"SQUALL!" The exuberant scream successfully deafened Squall, and he stared up in a daze at the swirls of colors spinning in a dizzying array of colors before his eyes. A heavy weight settled more comfortably atop his chest and further cut of any circulation going to his arms and legs.

"It's so good to see you!" the happy screaming continued, filtering through his ears in a muffled tone. He looked forlornly after the quickly diminishing figures of both Seifer and Zell, his inner self shriveling up inside him at the continuous attack on his ears and blood flow.

He bit back the whimper that threatened to break loose when motion followed sound and Rinoa began thumping against his chest excitedly with her hands to emphasize whatever it was she was saying.

Someone?... Anyone?!... Help me!......

Unfortunately, a majority of the staff and cadets had magically disappeared, leaving Squall to the tender (or not) mercies of the petite woman causing grievous harm to his ear drums and body.

--

Seifer dimly noted that Squall had somewhere along the line dropped out of the chase, leaving only the smaller blonde still running after him.

He gave a small smirk. One down, one more to go.

As soon as the thought was finished, he abruptly found himself with a face full of dirt and a mouth full of flowers. Not to mention a pressing weight against his back, pinning him to the ground. The predicament would have been more exciting if Seifer wasn't in danger of blacking out soon due to lack of oxygen.

Bucking the other man off seemed to have no affect and if Seifer didn't get up soon, or at least dislodge the calloused fingers currently wrapped around his throat like a vice, he was going to be crossing to the other side of the road sooner than he would have liked.

Trying to avoid gnashing his teeth on the mouthful of grass and flowers, Seifer reached underneath his chin to grapple with the fingers currently trying to be behead him. After several minutes and a rather discomfiting loss of oxygen, he finally managed to forcefully remove the fingers from his throat. Shoving with a considerable amount of strength against the resisting body, he rolled them both over until he had Zell pinned beneath him. Straddling the other man, he sat down with his full weight.

"Get offa me! Lemme go you bastard!" The smaller blonde struggled against the hands that had his wrists trapped in firm grips. "When I get my hands on yo--"

Seifer interjected blithely,"Chickie, chickie, chickie. If you had wanted a piece of me you could've just asked, no need to knock me out first." He leered. "I wouldn't mind you getting your 'hands on me' while I'm awake."

Zell blushed, fiercely and commercial white teeth flashed in response to the rather endearing shade of ripe tomatoes.

Huh, never knew that Seifer had dimples. Not as if that was a surprise. The other blonde spent more time sneering down at him than smiling.

WaitjustaHyneforsakenedminutehere! Why was he contemplating Seifer's smile when he should be throttling the man for what he had done earlier with the posters and had said just now?! Anger surging through him once more, Zell's hands lunged for Seifer's throat. "Shut da hell up ya prick!"

Before Zell could experience the satisfaction of ending Seifer's miserable life, he was abruptly being yanked upright with Seifer no longer straddling him. He hadn't noticed the lack of blood flow going through his legs earlier, but he felt it now. Along with the telltale jabs of pain shooting up from his ankles in protest.

Wincing and worrying at his lower lip, Zell berated himself for neglecting his injuries again. Although the anger and adrenaline hadn't abated much, they no longer blocked out the sensations of pain running along his legs. At this rate, he might as well be wheeling around in a chair since he seemed intent on killing off his legs.

Seifer appeared to be talking still, but he was also moving around a lot, and Zell's attention was diverted once more from his rambling thoughts.

Bright blue eyes narrowed as frustration, anger, resentment and weeks of confusion boiled up in a malevolent concoction. He could feel his eye start to twitch as Seifer's gratingly cheerful voice continued. He wasn't sure what it said about him missing the mocking, snide Seifer, but five seconds from now he wouldn't have to worry about a thing because he was going to finally kill Seifer.

It seemed that Zell's self-appointed task in ending Seifer's life was to be thwarted at every turn because the next thing he knew, his vision was being obscured by a familiar sight--petals.

As soon as the flower wreath had touched his head, it was like an unstopped plug letting the water drain away. Zell's tumultuous flow of emotions suddenly ebbed away and he blinked blankly at Seifer's grinning face.

What. The hell??! Zell's inner Seifer voice was baffled as well at this turn of events.

A large hand patted Zell's flower-covered head and smirked at the mounting confusion in the large blue eyes. "See Chickie, that," he pointed at the flower wreath, "is how a real Princess Chickie crown should look like." The generous mouth turned into a smirk. "And now, in return for having been blessed by my benevolence, I'm going to have to demand a kiss."

A strangely intense look appeared in Seifer's eyes, and he leaned in closer, inch by diminishing inch closing the distance between them.

Zell's already large eyes widened until there seemed to be more blue than anything else. He felt like he had that first time he had seen Ma and Pa when they had come to pick him up from Edea's orphanage. Frozen to his spot and mind blank save for the overwhelming sense of shock that something life-altering was happening, and to him of all people.

Unfortunately, the loud smack and wet buss on cheek broke any deeply thoughtful or meaningful spell that Seifer's blue-green gaze had trapped Zell under. He could feel his face automatically flame up once the (amazingly soft) lips left his quickly warming skin.

Seifer laughed at the frazzled look on Zell's cherry red face and stood. "Thanks for the kiss chickie but I gotta run before Puberty Boy manages to dislodge Rinoa and comes back after me."

He started to saunter off and when he glanced back to find Zell still staring after him, mouth now agape, he winked, blew Zell a kiss and continued on his merry little way.

"What. The. Hell."

Zell had no idea. He really didn't. And it didn't help either that his previously silent and baffled inner Seifer voice had ceased to be silent and started back up on the snickering. Was it just him, or was his life resembling a low-budget soap opera (or at least a terribly cheesy and physically painful comedy...) more and more every day?

Cautiously rising to his feet, Zell cringed at the dirt and grass stains on yet another favorite pair of his shorts. He also cringed at the realization that he wouldn't be able to look anyone in the eye for weeks, months even, to come, with all of the insanity dancing around him lately.

Scowling (pouting!) angrily, he jerked the flower wreath from his head and glowered at it, contemplating tossing it on the ground.

It was awfully pretty though. Not that the fuckin' prick will ever find out I actually think it's pretty. Che. I'm startin' to get as bad as those damn first year teenyboppers. It would be a waste of life if he just threw it away. Eh... Seifer will never know that I kept the thing so why not, right? Right.

He told his inner Seifer voice to throw himself off a cliff, although the chances of any silence coming from that disturbing part of his brain would probably only end if Zell killed himself. And even then Zell wasn't sure if the damn voice wouldn't haunt him in his afterlife as well.

Through all of the soul-searching and Seifer-voice bashing, Zell's fingers had unconsciously risen to lightly touch the cheek that Seifer had kissed. When he realized what he was doing, he yanked his hand away and stared at the offending limb with a mixture of horror and betrayal.

Eye twitching slightly, Zell muttered beneath his breath about "dumb blondes" and "damn flower wreaths" and "stupid freakin' good intentions of friend patrols will only kill ya" as he stalked away from the garden in a "manly" fashion.

--

Notes: I blame it all on the Lonster Monster as usual. BLAME HER! Laguna is being pushed outta the limelight and Seifer stole a kiss! (I swear I'll have Laguna back in the ball game.. eventually.... maybe... er... right.) The tension is mounting (ahahahaha.....) and hey, is that an ALMOST plotline I see?? After a year and some odd months, days, hours, minutes and seconds?! It's the end of the world! O.O Poor Squall. But hey, we needed a sacrificial lamb and there could only be one victor at the end of the chase! Although that depends on who you consider the real victor--Zell or Seifer. Heh. Heh. Until next time! OCCNESS BABY!!! And since I STILL don't have a beta reader--all mistakes are mineminemine. But I endeavor to edit several times over the course of the story's life so you may or may not have caught this chapter (and the rest of the chapters) during an edited-but-NEVER-thoroughly-so time.