AN: Sorry this took so long to get up but I have been busy at my computer typing up my foreign exchange application for next year. I can't believe the first interviews are at the end of this month!
Titan's Tower
Three Nights Later
…Robin held onto to Starfire as the pain inflicted upon him weakened his grasp.
"ROBIN!" Starfire screamed as he let go of her hand.
"STAR! I LO…" Then the darkness came.
"NOOOO!" Robin shot upright in bed with a start and panting. This was the third time tonight that the events of three nights ago drifted vividly through his mind. He ran a hand through his hair as a cold sweat covered his body. He had searched the city from the sewers to the sky for Starfire, with not even a hint of luck. He hadn't eaten and every time he tried to sleep visions of how he had given up ran through his mind. He hadn't contacted anyone else. It was his fault that Starfire was gone. He had given up and it was his fault if she was hurt or worse. He was going to find her no matter what the cost was. He got up out of bed and putting on a pair of jeans and threw a jacket over his undershirt, before leaving his room and heading for the city.
Robin walked a long the dark streets in silence. He passed the park where he and Starfire had been only a few nights back. He could see in-between the trees a memory of the both of them dancing underneath the stars.
…Slow dancing' on the boulevard,
In the quiet moments when the city is still dark,
Robin shook his head and walked on with his own thoughts. His mind drifted back to a day about a year or so back…
(Flashback)
"You shall not catch me Robin!" Starfire called over her shoulder as she floated a few feet off the ground with a Frisbee in her hands as she stuck out her tongue.
"You just wait Star I'll get you!" Robin dashed after her and then when he was right behind her he jumped and grabbed her waist. She gasped in surprise as she fell out of the sky and they tumbled into the grass. Starfire tossed the Frisbee away from her as she landed on Robin's chest and he gasped and then flipped them over so he was straddling her.
"I got you." Robin said softly as he gazed into Starfire's green eyes for a minute. He then bent his head down with the intention of kissing her.
"Robin…" She whispered.
"What?" He asked huskily.
"It's raining." Starfire stated the obvious. Robin fell back on the grass beside her with a sigh as a light warm rain fell softly around them. Robin then stood and helped Starfire up.
"Let's get out of the rain for a bit."
"Alright." Starfire nodded and they went to a cluster of trees and walked under them to keep dry. They watched as Beast Boy came over the hill in dog form and grabbing the Frisbee perked up his ears as if searching for them. Robin put a friendly arm around Starfire, not really noticing or caring what others saw, it was as he was sleep walking with only Starfire in his thoughts…
…Sleep walking' through the summer rain,
Robin shook that memory away as the night wind blew against him and he could swear he heard it whispering Starfire's name.
…In the tired spaces you could hear her name,
Robin shivered, he could have sworn that he could feel Starfire's arms holding him, whether he was holding her and soothing her fears or she was thanking him for one reason or another.
…When she was warm and tender and you had her arms around you,
There was nothing but her love and affection,
She was crazy for you,
Robin knew that she was over the moon about him even though she never expressed it and he wished now that he had realized it and acted on his own emotions. He looked up at the cloudy sky and wondered where she was now and if she was able to think consciously, if her thoughts were of him.
…Now she's part of somethin' that you lost,
And for all you know,
This could be
The difference between what you need,
And what you wanna be,
Yeah, what you wanna be,
Starfire was what he had lost to something he couldn't even see and she was the one thing that he needed more then anything. He didn't want to be this. He didn't want to be weak and helpless and unable to help and hold Starfire and kiss all of her cares away. To care and love her was the kind of man he wanted to be.
…Nights swimming in her diamond dress,
Making small circles move across the surface,
Robin's mind shifted to three nights ago when he and Starfire were at the tower and she had come out in that white dress that had shone like diamonds and the little circles of refracted light danced across the drab walls. She looked like an angel, and she was his angel who was now out of his grasp. He soon found himself back at the tower and staring out at the bay with the moonlight bouncing off it.
…Standing watching from the steady shore,
Feelin, wide open and waiting for,
Something warm and tender and now she's moving further from you,
There was nothing that could make it easy on you,
He stood there as the waves lapped the rocks and looking at the horizon waited and watched as if he expected her to come over it and back into his arms. Wherever she was she just seemed to be getting further and further away from his heart and there was no comfort to him once so ever. He turned away and headed back inside with his regrets. He hoped that if she was out there and she couldn't get back that she would move on, but he would not.
…Every step you take reminds you that she's walking on,
And for all you know,
This could be the difference between what you need,
And what you wanna be,
He was tired of not being there for her and this time it had cost more then just a few scratches and scrapes. It was costing him his heart. He needed her back before it broke in two. He was still striving to be what she needed and to be the only man in her heart. Now he would never know.
…Every word you never said,
Echoes down your empty hallway,
And everything that was your world just came down,
The dark empty halls of the tower were echoing his regrets. The questions filled his mind. 'Why didn't I tell her sooner?' 'What did I do wrong?' 'Why had I given up?' Why am I so weak?' His world crashed down before him as he collapsed in front of the huge windows at the top of the tower over looking the bay. He leaned his head back against the cold glass, blaming himself.
…Day breaking on the boulevard,
Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart,
Lights swimming right across your face and you think maybe someday,
Yeah maybe someday,
He felt the suns warmth begin to light the window and the room and he thought of it to be comforting as Starfire's loving embrace as the rays hit his face and slowly the dawn came. Maybe someday he would know what went wrong and where Starfire was. Maybe someday soon…
…For all you know,
For all you know this could be,
The difference between what you need,
And what you wanna be,
And for all you know,
For all you know,
He might heal, but how long it would take he knew not. Robin removed his shirt and jacket and still sat at the window with his eyes closed. If he had to live without Starfire then he wanted to live on still needing her but also wanting something for himself and to do better then he ever had before.
… Yeah for all that you know,
This is what you want to be,
What you want to be…
Robin sat that way for a matter of minutes until he felt a presence behind him and caught a whiff of a familiar perfume drift from a long way off. He jumped up and turning around he could have sworn he saw a flick of red hair disappear down the hall.