Memories of raising Rebecca on his own flooded Bruce. Having to look in his
little girl's eyes when she cried for her mother. Being at dance recitals
and school plays, seeing Rebecca look anxiously in the audience for her
mother. Going to sleep next to Mia and waking up alone.
Bruce never let Rebecca see him vulnerable. He taught his daughter not to rely on anyone but herself. He never disrespected Mia in front of their daughter, though Mia didn't return the favor. All the heartbreak and misery that she had brought them came over him like a tidal wave. He grabbed Amy tight as he cried...
"Shh baby, its ok. I know. I know. I'm here. Shh don't cry..."
Tears streamed down Amy's face. She knew all too well the pain Bruce felt. Michael wasn't a tenth of the father or man Bruce is. She too had attended Lauren's functions alone and made excuses to her little girl when she cried for her daddy. She went to sleep alone at night repeatedly. Amy understood why Bruce repeatedly said that he couldn't be the father: he couldn't face being one with Mia again. He couldn't raise another child alone. Amy tried to subside his fears.
"I'll help you Bruce. I'll always be here for you, even if we break up romantically. You're my best friend above all else. I won't abandon you. I won't. No matter what, you won't be alone. I love you. I'll always love you. I love Rebecca and I'll love this baby. You're a wonderful man and a great father. And this time, you won't be alone. No matter what happens between us. This baby will have you, Becca, me and my family. You know that. God I hope you know that. Don't cry baby, don't cry" Amy cried. She kissed his head and hugged him tight.
Bruce calmed down, but kept his head buried on Amy's chest. He was slightly embarrassed. He hadn't lost control like that since he was a boy and cried in his mother's arms. He took in a deep breath and wiped his face before sitting up.
"Uh, I'm sorry. I don't know–" Bruce stopped speaking when he saw that Amy was crying too. It struck him hard that she felt his pain. He never had anyone care for him like this. He grabbed her toward him and held her. The radio was softly playing "Moments in Love" from Art of Noise.
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to... I don't know why... I..." Bruce couldn't find the words. She looked up at him and mouthed "Its ok" as Bruce lowered his head and kissed her.
They kissed passionately, with a fury... a fury that contained the hurt from failed relationships, The hurt of raising children alone, Guilt of choosing selfish and irresponsible people to have children with, The pain of being alone for so long. –They kissed as if they were trying to erase all the mistakes from their past to begin a new future. Their kissing deepened and started to become less innocent.
Bruce leaned back and pulled Amy on top of him as they kissed. Amy slipped her hands under his shirt and stroked his body. Bruce did the same. Amy could 'feel' how much he was enjoying himself. She gyrated her hips slightly against him and began to moan softly. Janet Jackson's "Anytime" now hummed in the background. Bruce started to slide his hands down her sides to her hips. His large hands held her hips, as well as most of her rear end. He started controlling her movement, and then they moved in unison.
Amy sat up and took off her shirt. Bruce kept his eyes locked with hers when she sprang up. Their gaze was filled with lust. He finally looked down from Amy's eyes to her nose... mouth... neck... shoulders... bra... breasts. They looked better than he had fantasized. Amy could 'feel' his approval over what he was seeing. She was pretty content her self; she never 'felt' anything like it before. It was almost frightening
He continued to lower his eyes, following her body line until it met his. Amy followed his eyes. She was excited beyond reason; no man had ever gazed in her eyes as long as Bruce did, when she took off her top. He made her feel so special. He didn't look at her like an object. It was wrong of her to look at him like one but she was dying with curiosity over what she was feeling through his jeans. Amy watched his eyes and noticed where they stopped. She started to undo his pants.
"Amy, no, stop. We shouldn't. Not yet. God, I want to, but this isn't right. I'm sorry." Amy lowered herself back toward his face and met her lips with his. She spoke at this distance, staring in his eyes intensely. She tried to persuade him, her hormones had taken over.
"We love each other. Don't we? Why is it wrong? Why wait?" She put her tongue in his mouth and kissed him deeply. Bruce turned his head, breaking away from her kiss. He ran his hand up and down her back, trying to simmer things down.
"Yeah I love you. That's why I want to wait. I told you, I don't want to just have sex –it's meaningless. I want to make love to you –when it's the right time. 'This' now is emotional overload sex... I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I think we should know each other's minds completely before we get to know each other's bodies. That's the easy part. We're not going to have problems in that department" Bruce coaxed.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her as she laid on him. Amy heard what he was saying, but his body wasn't on the same page yet. Neither was she.
"Everything 'is' right. I know you want me. I want you now" Amy moaned. She began to kiss his neck and chest.
"What I want is to make you happy always. –Not just now, even if that means disappointing you now. I told you Amy, I want you long term..."
Amy was right; his body was 'indicating' something different, but Bruce didn't forget the trouble he had from the last time he didn't think things out. It was hard... uh, rather, it was difficult to say no, but he had to. Just then, Bruce noticed the beginning of "If I Aint Got You", by Alicia Keys, began to play on the radio. He wanted to Amy to listen to it. It might help her understand and maybe forgive him.
"Listen Amy..." She quit kissing his body and laid still, semi-sulking.
"I hear you mister morals–" Bruce gently placed his hand over her mouth.
"Listen to the song." He wrapped his arms around her again.
...
some people think that the physical things
define what's within and I been there before
–that life's a bore
so full of the superficial
Some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
if it aint you baby
if i aint got you baby
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
but everything means nothing if i aint got you
It was beautiful. Amy had heard the song before and liked it. She never would have imagined anyone dedicating it to her. Suddenly she felt silly for pouting and trying to push things. Amy knew Bruce was right; it wasn't a personal rejection. After all, she had first hand knowledge that he wanted her. She felt slightly guilty for trying to force the issue; it was wrong; they had an understanding, and she had gone against it. She joked to herself, "It's his damn fault for being so sexy!" She heard his heartbeat as she laid resting on his chest.
"Alicia Keys huh? I like it. She's got a point; everything means nothing if you don't have someone special in your life. Someone who really cares... I'm sorry for pushing the issue; I want things to work long term too. I can't imagine life without you. We need to spend some time out of this cabin or we'll keep running into this problem." Amy looked up, attempting to make eye contact.
"Yeah, you're right. Let's go for that run now. Work our frustrations out," Bruce joked.
"Ok" Amy started to get up, but Bruce held her tight.
"–Oh and I'm glad you got the concept of the song. In addition to what you said, I want you to know that I only want you. –Nothing and no one but you. You know that I'm going to have to spend time with Mia in order to sort things out. So I want to be clear with you now..."
Bruce scooted up and shifted Amy to the side. He tenderly lifted her chin up in order to look in her eyes.
"... I have no feelings for Mia anymore. You take up all the space in that department –Rebecca gets the other half. Ok?"
Amy was head over heels. Acknowledgement and reassurance is all she had wanted from any man, yet they never gave it. As much as Maxine tried build Amy's self confidence, her father had raised her needy. It seemed to be a quality that destroyed her relationships. But here was Bruce acknowledging her and assuring his devotion. Amy knew right then; Bruce was her soul mate. She could see forever in his eyes.
"I trust you Bruce. I always have; you've never given me reason not to. I'll be here if you need me, and I'll give you space, if you need that. I'll support any decision you make and I won't interfere with Mia. You have my word."
Amy kissed him lightly as a way to end the conversation. She got up and put her shirt back on. Bruce gazed at her beautiful body. She amazed him. He got up to turn off the radio, in an attempt to get his mind off of Amy. Well, get his mind off making love.
His mind still drifted. He wanted Amy so badly, but it had to wait. In good conscience, he wanted to be confident in their relationship, with the minimum of distractions, before they took that leap. He had to resolve things with Mia, and find employment in his new career field.
"Are you going to run in jeans?" Amy caught him off guard.
"No, I'm gonna change. What time is it?"
"I don't know. I didn't put my watch on either. I need to get my cell! Hopefully it's not dead."
"Yeah, I need to get mine too. I want to check on Rebecca."
Both of their phones were dead. They were somewhat worried not knowing how long they had been out of reach. They turned the phones on when they connected them to the chargers. Both phones buzzed with messages.
Bruce never let Rebecca see him vulnerable. He taught his daughter not to rely on anyone but herself. He never disrespected Mia in front of their daughter, though Mia didn't return the favor. All the heartbreak and misery that she had brought them came over him like a tidal wave. He grabbed Amy tight as he cried...
"Shh baby, its ok. I know. I know. I'm here. Shh don't cry..."
Tears streamed down Amy's face. She knew all too well the pain Bruce felt. Michael wasn't a tenth of the father or man Bruce is. She too had attended Lauren's functions alone and made excuses to her little girl when she cried for her daddy. She went to sleep alone at night repeatedly. Amy understood why Bruce repeatedly said that he couldn't be the father: he couldn't face being one with Mia again. He couldn't raise another child alone. Amy tried to subside his fears.
"I'll help you Bruce. I'll always be here for you, even if we break up romantically. You're my best friend above all else. I won't abandon you. I won't. No matter what, you won't be alone. I love you. I'll always love you. I love Rebecca and I'll love this baby. You're a wonderful man and a great father. And this time, you won't be alone. No matter what happens between us. This baby will have you, Becca, me and my family. You know that. God I hope you know that. Don't cry baby, don't cry" Amy cried. She kissed his head and hugged him tight.
Bruce calmed down, but kept his head buried on Amy's chest. He was slightly embarrassed. He hadn't lost control like that since he was a boy and cried in his mother's arms. He took in a deep breath and wiped his face before sitting up.
"Uh, I'm sorry. I don't know–" Bruce stopped speaking when he saw that Amy was crying too. It struck him hard that she felt his pain. He never had anyone care for him like this. He grabbed her toward him and held her. The radio was softly playing "Moments in Love" from Art of Noise.
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to... I don't know why... I..." Bruce couldn't find the words. She looked up at him and mouthed "Its ok" as Bruce lowered his head and kissed her.
They kissed passionately, with a fury... a fury that contained the hurt from failed relationships, The hurt of raising children alone, Guilt of choosing selfish and irresponsible people to have children with, The pain of being alone for so long. –They kissed as if they were trying to erase all the mistakes from their past to begin a new future. Their kissing deepened and started to become less innocent.
Bruce leaned back and pulled Amy on top of him as they kissed. Amy slipped her hands under his shirt and stroked his body. Bruce did the same. Amy could 'feel' how much he was enjoying himself. She gyrated her hips slightly against him and began to moan softly. Janet Jackson's "Anytime" now hummed in the background. Bruce started to slide his hands down her sides to her hips. His large hands held her hips, as well as most of her rear end. He started controlling her movement, and then they moved in unison.
Amy sat up and took off her shirt. Bruce kept his eyes locked with hers when she sprang up. Their gaze was filled with lust. He finally looked down from Amy's eyes to her nose... mouth... neck... shoulders... bra... breasts. They looked better than he had fantasized. Amy could 'feel' his approval over what he was seeing. She was pretty content her self; she never 'felt' anything like it before. It was almost frightening
He continued to lower his eyes, following her body line until it met his. Amy followed his eyes. She was excited beyond reason; no man had ever gazed in her eyes as long as Bruce did, when she took off her top. He made her feel so special. He didn't look at her like an object. It was wrong of her to look at him like one but she was dying with curiosity over what she was feeling through his jeans. Amy watched his eyes and noticed where they stopped. She started to undo his pants.
"Amy, no, stop. We shouldn't. Not yet. God, I want to, but this isn't right. I'm sorry." Amy lowered herself back toward his face and met her lips with his. She spoke at this distance, staring in his eyes intensely. She tried to persuade him, her hormones had taken over.
"We love each other. Don't we? Why is it wrong? Why wait?" She put her tongue in his mouth and kissed him deeply. Bruce turned his head, breaking away from her kiss. He ran his hand up and down her back, trying to simmer things down.
"Yeah I love you. That's why I want to wait. I told you, I don't want to just have sex –it's meaningless. I want to make love to you –when it's the right time. 'This' now is emotional overload sex... I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I think we should know each other's minds completely before we get to know each other's bodies. That's the easy part. We're not going to have problems in that department" Bruce coaxed.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her as she laid on him. Amy heard what he was saying, but his body wasn't on the same page yet. Neither was she.
"Everything 'is' right. I know you want me. I want you now" Amy moaned. She began to kiss his neck and chest.
"What I want is to make you happy always. –Not just now, even if that means disappointing you now. I told you Amy, I want you long term..."
Amy was right; his body was 'indicating' something different, but Bruce didn't forget the trouble he had from the last time he didn't think things out. It was hard... uh, rather, it was difficult to say no, but he had to. Just then, Bruce noticed the beginning of "If I Aint Got You", by Alicia Keys, began to play on the radio. He wanted to Amy to listen to it. It might help her understand and maybe forgive him.
"Listen Amy..." She quit kissing his body and laid still, semi-sulking.
"I hear you mister morals–" Bruce gently placed his hand over her mouth.
"Listen to the song." He wrapped his arms around her again.
...
some people think that the physical things
define what's within and I been there before
–that life's a bore
so full of the superficial
Some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
if it aint you baby
if i aint got you baby
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
but everything means nothing if i aint got you
It was beautiful. Amy had heard the song before and liked it. She never would have imagined anyone dedicating it to her. Suddenly she felt silly for pouting and trying to push things. Amy knew Bruce was right; it wasn't a personal rejection. After all, she had first hand knowledge that he wanted her. She felt slightly guilty for trying to force the issue; it was wrong; they had an understanding, and she had gone against it. She joked to herself, "It's his damn fault for being so sexy!" She heard his heartbeat as she laid resting on his chest.
"Alicia Keys huh? I like it. She's got a point; everything means nothing if you don't have someone special in your life. Someone who really cares... I'm sorry for pushing the issue; I want things to work long term too. I can't imagine life without you. We need to spend some time out of this cabin or we'll keep running into this problem." Amy looked up, attempting to make eye contact.
"Yeah, you're right. Let's go for that run now. Work our frustrations out," Bruce joked.
"Ok" Amy started to get up, but Bruce held her tight.
"–Oh and I'm glad you got the concept of the song. In addition to what you said, I want you to know that I only want you. –Nothing and no one but you. You know that I'm going to have to spend time with Mia in order to sort things out. So I want to be clear with you now..."
Bruce scooted up and shifted Amy to the side. He tenderly lifted her chin up in order to look in her eyes.
"... I have no feelings for Mia anymore. You take up all the space in that department –Rebecca gets the other half. Ok?"
Amy was head over heels. Acknowledgement and reassurance is all she had wanted from any man, yet they never gave it. As much as Maxine tried build Amy's self confidence, her father had raised her needy. It seemed to be a quality that destroyed her relationships. But here was Bruce acknowledging her and assuring his devotion. Amy knew right then; Bruce was her soul mate. She could see forever in his eyes.
"I trust you Bruce. I always have; you've never given me reason not to. I'll be here if you need me, and I'll give you space, if you need that. I'll support any decision you make and I won't interfere with Mia. You have my word."
Amy kissed him lightly as a way to end the conversation. She got up and put her shirt back on. Bruce gazed at her beautiful body. She amazed him. He got up to turn off the radio, in an attempt to get his mind off of Amy. Well, get his mind off making love.
His mind still drifted. He wanted Amy so badly, but it had to wait. In good conscience, he wanted to be confident in their relationship, with the minimum of distractions, before they took that leap. He had to resolve things with Mia, and find employment in his new career field.
"Are you going to run in jeans?" Amy caught him off guard.
"No, I'm gonna change. What time is it?"
"I don't know. I didn't put my watch on either. I need to get my cell! Hopefully it's not dead."
"Yeah, I need to get mine too. I want to check on Rebecca."
Both of their phones were dead. They were somewhat worried not knowing how long they had been out of reach. They turned the phones on when they connected them to the chargers. Both phones buzzed with messages.