The Desk
Characters do not belong to me.
30 April
Gryffindor has won the quidditch cup again. I knew when Dumbledore said that Potter could play seeker again for Gryffindor that we wouldn't have a chance again until Potter left. He was amazing today. Really put Malfoy in his place, which is always a good thing in my opinion.
Still helping Harry with the DA, it really isn't as bad as I thought it would be, it has helped my relationship with the students. As pretty much all of the students that are in the DA are the students that I would have had to have been cruel to in the past. I've realised that most of them are truly competent. I'm actually getting on well with Longbottom he is a lot better wizard than his past potion marks would suggest.
My quest to find things to hate about Potter is failing miserably. The more I look to find things to hate, the more I find things to love. Most of Harry antics in the past which I previously would have used as evidence of his extreme arrogance, were done because adults in his past and even present constantly let him down, so he trusts himself more than he trusts adults to sort out the problems. Unfortunately he has been proved correct in not trusting us and has often done as good or better of protecting the school and the wizarding world.
However because of Harry's victory today the chances are slytherin will not win the House cup this year. The only good thing about Umbridge was that she made it impossible for us to lose that year. No one acknowledges the win though as the system was so unfair as to make the win meaningless.
20 June
Harry's last potions lesson today. He's done well he'll get at least an E as long as he doesn't panic in the exam. But he seems to do better in external exams than he does in internal ones. Saying that I always used to mark him down and turn a blind eye when one of my students sabotaged his potion, so of course he does better now than he used to.
I'm not sure how I'm going to cope not seeing him almost every day when he leaves Hogwarts. I guess I'll see him at Order meetings, but it now doesn't seem enough. If anyone had told me even a year ago that I would be getting seriously depressed at the thought of not seeing Harry everyday, I wouldn't have laughed at them, I would have hexed them!
Dumbledore knows how I feel, I have no idea how he knows but he does. He thinks I should say something, that Harry may feel the same way. I however know that the likelihood of Harry liking me as much as I like him is practically nil. So he doesn't seem to hate me as much as he used to, that's probably because I am not as mean to him as I used to be. He now sees it as funny when I'm mean to him, probably because he knows that I don't mean it anymore. He gets my sense of humour not even Dumbledore really gets my sense of humour but Harry does, I guess at worst I think that we will end up as friends.
Ron Weasley doesn't like our friendship, he doesn't trust me with Harry. I think that just goes back to when they didn't trust that I was really on the side of the light. Harry told me about what happened in their first year. I guess from what they saw I did look pretty guilty, however if it was me who was after the philosophers stone I would like to think that I would have been able to hide it from a bunch of first years, and that the only reason that I ended up looking guilty was because I wasn't.
Hermione and the werewolf on the other hand think it is about time that we saw each other as we really are. They both trust me and have gone out of their way to make sure I know that they trust me. It's like they also know how I feel about him and are giving me their blessing, though that is impossible. The only place I have acknowledged how I feel is in this diary. The spells on this desk make it impossible for anyone to get into it and read the diary until I give the desk to someone else.
Even then I have never really acknowledged, even in this, that I love him. I have just expressed how much I like him. Maybe because we spend so much time together, and we no longer complain about it, they think that we want more to happen. But we have to spend that time together it would make sense that they are trying to make us friends, why they read anything other into it I can't work out. Maybe I am reading things into actions which just aren't there, I'm good at reading body language, but wishful thinking could be clouding my judgement.
Characters do not belong to me.
30 April
Gryffindor has won the quidditch cup again. I knew when Dumbledore said that Potter could play seeker again for Gryffindor that we wouldn't have a chance again until Potter left. He was amazing today. Really put Malfoy in his place, which is always a good thing in my opinion.
Still helping Harry with the DA, it really isn't as bad as I thought it would be, it has helped my relationship with the students. As pretty much all of the students that are in the DA are the students that I would have had to have been cruel to in the past. I've realised that most of them are truly competent. I'm actually getting on well with Longbottom he is a lot better wizard than his past potion marks would suggest.
My quest to find things to hate about Potter is failing miserably. The more I look to find things to hate, the more I find things to love. Most of Harry antics in the past which I previously would have used as evidence of his extreme arrogance, were done because adults in his past and even present constantly let him down, so he trusts himself more than he trusts adults to sort out the problems. Unfortunately he has been proved correct in not trusting us and has often done as good or better of protecting the school and the wizarding world.
However because of Harry's victory today the chances are slytherin will not win the House cup this year. The only good thing about Umbridge was that she made it impossible for us to lose that year. No one acknowledges the win though as the system was so unfair as to make the win meaningless.
20 June
Harry's last potions lesson today. He's done well he'll get at least an E as long as he doesn't panic in the exam. But he seems to do better in external exams than he does in internal ones. Saying that I always used to mark him down and turn a blind eye when one of my students sabotaged his potion, so of course he does better now than he used to.
I'm not sure how I'm going to cope not seeing him almost every day when he leaves Hogwarts. I guess I'll see him at Order meetings, but it now doesn't seem enough. If anyone had told me even a year ago that I would be getting seriously depressed at the thought of not seeing Harry everyday, I wouldn't have laughed at them, I would have hexed them!
Dumbledore knows how I feel, I have no idea how he knows but he does. He thinks I should say something, that Harry may feel the same way. I however know that the likelihood of Harry liking me as much as I like him is practically nil. So he doesn't seem to hate me as much as he used to, that's probably because I am not as mean to him as I used to be. He now sees it as funny when I'm mean to him, probably because he knows that I don't mean it anymore. He gets my sense of humour not even Dumbledore really gets my sense of humour but Harry does, I guess at worst I think that we will end up as friends.
Ron Weasley doesn't like our friendship, he doesn't trust me with Harry. I think that just goes back to when they didn't trust that I was really on the side of the light. Harry told me about what happened in their first year. I guess from what they saw I did look pretty guilty, however if it was me who was after the philosophers stone I would like to think that I would have been able to hide it from a bunch of first years, and that the only reason that I ended up looking guilty was because I wasn't.
Hermione and the werewolf on the other hand think it is about time that we saw each other as we really are. They both trust me and have gone out of their way to make sure I know that they trust me. It's like they also know how I feel about him and are giving me their blessing, though that is impossible. The only place I have acknowledged how I feel is in this diary. The spells on this desk make it impossible for anyone to get into it and read the diary until I give the desk to someone else.
Even then I have never really acknowledged, even in this, that I love him. I have just expressed how much I like him. Maybe because we spend so much time together, and we no longer complain about it, they think that we want more to happen. But we have to spend that time together it would make sense that they are trying to make us friends, why they read anything other into it I can't work out. Maybe I am reading things into actions which just aren't there, I'm good at reading body language, but wishful thinking could be clouding my judgement.