Bruce scrolled down the list of recent calls on his cell. He had missed
five calls, all in the last three hours. Three were from the same unknown
number, two were from Winnie. He figured the unknown number was Mia. He
decided to call Winnie and make sure Rebecca was ok.
"Hello Winnie?"
"Bruce! Where've you been?" Winnie asked, obviously upset.
"I'm sorry Winnie; I decided to get away while Rebecca was with you and I forgot to charge my cell. I just remembered and found the phone dead. I'm using it while it's charging now. What's wrong?"
"It's Mia again. You need to call her. She's called here three times. She wants to see Becca. We were at the mall all day. We planned on just stopping by the house for something to eat before going out again to catch a movie. What do you want us to do? Becca doesn't want to see Mia."
"Listen, it's up to Rebecca. I'd rather she spends the weekend with you and I'll just pick her up Sunday. Has Mia talked to Rebecca?"
"No, Mia left messages on my answering machine. Bruce, she sounds frantic. I don't want her showing up at my house –I'll go off."
"Now with Rebecca there, Winnie. Call the cops if she threatens either one of you. Ask for SGT Cross, I know he'll handle the situation right. Go out to eat and catch the movie, I'll pay you back when I get Rebecca. I'm going to call Mia and let her know that you guys made plans for all weekend. I might call back and tell Rebecca to call her. Just don't let Mia trap Rebecca into getting her way. I know you're good for it."
"You know I am Bruce. And I hope you get Mia out of your lives soon. I know you don't like me in your business, but you and Becca deserve better. If your daughter doesn't want to see her mother, you shouldn't either."
"I know Winnie. I'm working on that. I'm done with Mia. She is going to learn to be on our terms or she won't see Rebecca. I'm not dealing with her anymore."
"What do you mean you're working on that? Bruce where are you?"
"Look, you can reach me on the cell –that's all you need to know."
"Tell me one thing... are you done with Mia for 'good'? You've said it before. After all this time, I hope you realized that she aint ever going to change. I know you got a lot of history with her and I really don't mean to be in you business, but mom and I always end up caught in the middle. I'm asking you again; for real, are you done?"
"Winnie, I'm done. Mia is only going to be in my life as the mother of my child. I've moved on."
"I'm glad... Who's the girl?"
"Bye Winnie. Have Rebecca call if she needs anything?"
"Bruce wait. Come on tell me a little!"
Bruce hung up. He decided to call Mia. He had wanted to settle things in person but it didn't seem like it was going to happen. He stared at his cell phone, wondering what she was frantic about. He finally returned the call to the unknown number.
"Hello"
"Hello, someone called me from this number–"
"Bruce, its Mia. I've been calling you all day. You haven't been home all night. Where are you?"
"That's none of your business. What do you want? I said we would talk next week. What is it that can't wait until next week?"
"This must be some girl that you're with that has me waiting until next week for you. Is it Amy? Amy won't let you come out and play Bruce?" Mia replied coyly.
"Mia I'm not in the mood for your games. I went out to get my mind right. Your news gave me a lot to think about. I don't believe you Mia. I know that condom didn't break, I threw it away. It's only been a couple of weeks. It can't be mine, it's too soon."
"Did you know you said her name that night? While you were making love to me, you called for Amy. Did you think I was that white bitch boss of yours?"
"Mia, I don't care what you think I did or what you're accusing me of. If the baby is mine, it will be proved with a paternity test. And I'll seek full custody. I won't have you manipulating my life anymore."
"You're right Bruce about the condom; you did throw it away. But after your indiscretion, I thought we needed something to rekindle our love. You always wanted a big family. Or is it now you would rather a pack of zebras?"
Bruce was stunned. He couldn't believe what Mia just told him. Did she actually fish out the condom from the trash and use it to impregnate herself? She lost her mind. She lost her mind and he was actually going to bring another child in the world with her. He couldn't believe she took things this far. It didn't make sense. Mia always rejected being stable with him. Now she wanted a family? "Is that what you did Mia? You really used the condom to get yourself pregnant? You're ready to spend 9 months of pregnancy and labor to win me over? You're leaving modeling? Having one child is one thing, do you know what it does to a woman's body having a second child. You'll need plastic surgery. Did you even think about any of that before your sick little trick? Did you bother to think what effect it would have on the child? Did you think about anything or anyone besides yourself? No Mia, you didn't. Because that's your problem Mia, you only think about number one. I don't love you anymore. Hell, I don't even like you. You're damn right I fantasized about someone else that night, I can't stand you. I'm tired of your selfishness and self-centered attitude. I'm tired of you keeping Rebecca and I in an emotional prison. Your little girl doesn't want to even see you now. She isn't going to be at your whim anymore. And now you're going to have another baby? Another one to neglect and use to you heart's desire? No Mia, I won't let you. I'll do whatever it takes to obtain sole custody. You don't deserve the blessing of a child. A child deserves a mother who cherishes it and sacrifices for it. You want to talk about Amy? Let's talk about Amy. She's been through hell trying to raise her daughter right. She stayed in a loveless marriage trying to reconcile, for her daughters sake. When she realized it was not going to happen, she didn't stay there for her daughter to see her at a man's whim. Amy left an established career to move back home with her mother. She didn't move back in with mom for the prestige behind it, she did it to surround her daughter with family and raise her with love. She took a step back from the glamorous world of corporate law to wallow in the dungeons of juvenile justice. Amy's made sacrifices all for the benefit of her daughter, something you know nothing about. I'd be fortunate to have someone half as remarkable as Amy, but fortune hasn't come my way –I fell pray to you."
Just then arms came around his waist from behind, Bruce jumped. Amy was standing behind him, embracing him. It calmed him to have Amy hold him. He wrapped his free arm across hers. He wondered how long she had been listening. It didn't matter though; he didn't regret anything he said. If anything, he wished he could tell Mia that he 'was' with Amy –that she was standing right behind him, that he loved her.
"Well Bruce, don't hold back, tell me how you really feel. I'm glad you finally grew a set. All these years, I wondered if you ever would have the balls to take what you want in life. I guess you do now. Unfortunately I had relied on you settling. I decided to settle too. I was going to be the little woman you wanted and provide Rebecca with a stable mother. But that all changed the night you called out someone else's name when we made love."
"We didn't make love Mia. We haven't made love since I was in college. All we had was sex. And its cost me more than I ever dreamed."
"It's going to continue to cost you. I want an abortion Bruce. I can't deal with you in my life either. But its up to you Bruce, pony up $2000 and keep me out of your life. Pay, or live with the fact that I'll be raising this one how I see fit. Even with a judge in your pocket, it will be really difficult for you to take a new born away form its mother. Go back to Amy and think about it, you know how to reach me." And with that, Mia hung up.
Bruce was stunned; he held the phone next to his ear even though the call was done. After a few seconds he dropped his hand from his ear.
"Hey, you ok?" Amy asked with great concern. She could tell that things weren't well with Bruce.
"No Amy..." Bruce unwrapped Amy's and turned to face her. He looked distraught.
"... Mia wants me to pay for an abortion."
"What? How could she ask you that? She knows you don't believe in abortions."
"That's why she asked me. She's infuriated with me... Amy she's in a state that I've never heard her in. I know we probably said some stuff out of anger, but Mia sounded cold and calculated..."
Bruce put the phone down on the end table and sat on the couch. Amy followed him and sat close. She could feel his apprehension over what he had to say.
"What is it? Bruce, you can tell me anything. Trust me."
"Amy, I do trust you... I'm going to tell you, it's just hard to deal with." Bruce spoke without looking up. Then his demeanor changed, as if he was facing the music; he sat up and looked in her eyes.
"If you remember, when I told Mia she could stay with me, it was just for her to get on her feet. She mentioned wanting to be a better mother to Rebecca and in so many words, she insinuated on working things out between us. But I've heard it all before Amy. Even still, I felt I owed it to Rebecca to give Mia yet another chance. So I tried again, but this time things were different. I just didn't care what Mia did, and for some reason: it really bothered her."
Bruce grabbed Amy's hands. He knew the next information he had to give her was really personal. He wanted to assure her that it was old news. He caressed her hands as he spoke.
"We never had a problem in the bedroom and it was common for us to share it on occasion. Even though I put my foot down and told her I wasn't falling for her games, I did. It was difficult to deny her. As the mother of my child, I guess I always had a soft spot. Well this last time, things were different; I wasn't falling to any of her advances..."
Amy looked at him intently and saw a look of discomfort come over him again. She squeezed his hand to prompt him to continue. "Then came the day that you and I had that talk about interracial relationships. Amy, I really believe most of what I said: I believe in black families. It 'would' be ideal to find a beautiful black Catholic woman. But she couldn't stop me from loving you. I lied to you and myself that day. It drove me insane for the rest of that night. It made matters worse that you cried in my arms. I felt somewhat responsible. You were looking to me to vindicate your belief in love and I made you realize how all alone you are in the world."
"No Bruce. Well it did hurt what you said. But you still comforted me. It did me a world of justice to be held. It didn't matter what you had said, actions speak louder than words."
"But it ate me up inside Amy. I was filled with conflict. I told you what I had programmed myself to say, and it was killing me to hold in what I felt, especially after holding you in my arms. When I told you that you didn't need a reason –I think my subconscious was trying to tell 'me' something. I spent the rest of that day being haunted by our conversation. I can't explain why it affected me so. I thought I had gotten used to suppressing my feelings for you. Regardless, I couldn't get the conversation out of my mind... I had a couple of drinks hoping to clear my mind. When that didn't work, I came across the ridiculous idea that sex might work..."
Bruce lowered his eyes again. It was difficult to maintain eye contact telling Amy this.
"...Maybe focusing my attention on another woman would get you off of my mind. So I decided that I wouldn't dismiss Mia if she approached me that night. It was such a stupid thing to do. I don't have any excuse. I thought about stopping quite a few times, I don't know why I didn't. I wasn't even enjoying it; it wasn't Mia that I wanted to be with. My mind stayed on you. I ended up fantasizing about being with you –to the point that I actually envisioned you and said your name...."
Amy couldn't help but smile. It wasn't the right time so she quickly hid it. Just a few seconds earlier, she had not been so enlightened; hearing Bruce explain his indiscretion, but her heart fluttered knowing that he fantasized about her.
"...I wasn't sure I even said it out loud, but I did. Mia never let me know then. The next day she took off. I knew something wasn't right because there was always a period of civility between us when we used to rekindle in the past. Oddly I didn't care. It was like the tables were turned. She had used me for so many years that missing the 'honeymoon' didn't matter. I felt bad that she left Rebecca in that matter, but even she's grown accustomed to Mia's breezing in and out of our lives. I've known Mia to be selfish and self centered, but not deranged. She used the condom I wore to get pregnant."
Silence filled the air. Amy was speechless. She now completely understood Bruce's distressed disposition. She leaned into Bruce and hugged him. It was all she could think to do.
"Hello Winnie?"
"Bruce! Where've you been?" Winnie asked, obviously upset.
"I'm sorry Winnie; I decided to get away while Rebecca was with you and I forgot to charge my cell. I just remembered and found the phone dead. I'm using it while it's charging now. What's wrong?"
"It's Mia again. You need to call her. She's called here three times. She wants to see Becca. We were at the mall all day. We planned on just stopping by the house for something to eat before going out again to catch a movie. What do you want us to do? Becca doesn't want to see Mia."
"Listen, it's up to Rebecca. I'd rather she spends the weekend with you and I'll just pick her up Sunday. Has Mia talked to Rebecca?"
"No, Mia left messages on my answering machine. Bruce, she sounds frantic. I don't want her showing up at my house –I'll go off."
"Now with Rebecca there, Winnie. Call the cops if she threatens either one of you. Ask for SGT Cross, I know he'll handle the situation right. Go out to eat and catch the movie, I'll pay you back when I get Rebecca. I'm going to call Mia and let her know that you guys made plans for all weekend. I might call back and tell Rebecca to call her. Just don't let Mia trap Rebecca into getting her way. I know you're good for it."
"You know I am Bruce. And I hope you get Mia out of your lives soon. I know you don't like me in your business, but you and Becca deserve better. If your daughter doesn't want to see her mother, you shouldn't either."
"I know Winnie. I'm working on that. I'm done with Mia. She is going to learn to be on our terms or she won't see Rebecca. I'm not dealing with her anymore."
"What do you mean you're working on that? Bruce where are you?"
"Look, you can reach me on the cell –that's all you need to know."
"Tell me one thing... are you done with Mia for 'good'? You've said it before. After all this time, I hope you realized that she aint ever going to change. I know you got a lot of history with her and I really don't mean to be in you business, but mom and I always end up caught in the middle. I'm asking you again; for real, are you done?"
"Winnie, I'm done. Mia is only going to be in my life as the mother of my child. I've moved on."
"I'm glad... Who's the girl?"
"Bye Winnie. Have Rebecca call if she needs anything?"
"Bruce wait. Come on tell me a little!"
Bruce hung up. He decided to call Mia. He had wanted to settle things in person but it didn't seem like it was going to happen. He stared at his cell phone, wondering what she was frantic about. He finally returned the call to the unknown number.
"Hello"
"Hello, someone called me from this number–"
"Bruce, its Mia. I've been calling you all day. You haven't been home all night. Where are you?"
"That's none of your business. What do you want? I said we would talk next week. What is it that can't wait until next week?"
"This must be some girl that you're with that has me waiting until next week for you. Is it Amy? Amy won't let you come out and play Bruce?" Mia replied coyly.
"Mia I'm not in the mood for your games. I went out to get my mind right. Your news gave me a lot to think about. I don't believe you Mia. I know that condom didn't break, I threw it away. It's only been a couple of weeks. It can't be mine, it's too soon."
"Did you know you said her name that night? While you were making love to me, you called for Amy. Did you think I was that white bitch boss of yours?"
"Mia, I don't care what you think I did or what you're accusing me of. If the baby is mine, it will be proved with a paternity test. And I'll seek full custody. I won't have you manipulating my life anymore."
"You're right Bruce about the condom; you did throw it away. But after your indiscretion, I thought we needed something to rekindle our love. You always wanted a big family. Or is it now you would rather a pack of zebras?"
Bruce was stunned. He couldn't believe what Mia just told him. Did she actually fish out the condom from the trash and use it to impregnate herself? She lost her mind. She lost her mind and he was actually going to bring another child in the world with her. He couldn't believe she took things this far. It didn't make sense. Mia always rejected being stable with him. Now she wanted a family? "Is that what you did Mia? You really used the condom to get yourself pregnant? You're ready to spend 9 months of pregnancy and labor to win me over? You're leaving modeling? Having one child is one thing, do you know what it does to a woman's body having a second child. You'll need plastic surgery. Did you even think about any of that before your sick little trick? Did you bother to think what effect it would have on the child? Did you think about anything or anyone besides yourself? No Mia, you didn't. Because that's your problem Mia, you only think about number one. I don't love you anymore. Hell, I don't even like you. You're damn right I fantasized about someone else that night, I can't stand you. I'm tired of your selfishness and self-centered attitude. I'm tired of you keeping Rebecca and I in an emotional prison. Your little girl doesn't want to even see you now. She isn't going to be at your whim anymore. And now you're going to have another baby? Another one to neglect and use to you heart's desire? No Mia, I won't let you. I'll do whatever it takes to obtain sole custody. You don't deserve the blessing of a child. A child deserves a mother who cherishes it and sacrifices for it. You want to talk about Amy? Let's talk about Amy. She's been through hell trying to raise her daughter right. She stayed in a loveless marriage trying to reconcile, for her daughters sake. When she realized it was not going to happen, she didn't stay there for her daughter to see her at a man's whim. Amy left an established career to move back home with her mother. She didn't move back in with mom for the prestige behind it, she did it to surround her daughter with family and raise her with love. She took a step back from the glamorous world of corporate law to wallow in the dungeons of juvenile justice. Amy's made sacrifices all for the benefit of her daughter, something you know nothing about. I'd be fortunate to have someone half as remarkable as Amy, but fortune hasn't come my way –I fell pray to you."
Just then arms came around his waist from behind, Bruce jumped. Amy was standing behind him, embracing him. It calmed him to have Amy hold him. He wrapped his free arm across hers. He wondered how long she had been listening. It didn't matter though; he didn't regret anything he said. If anything, he wished he could tell Mia that he 'was' with Amy –that she was standing right behind him, that he loved her.
"Well Bruce, don't hold back, tell me how you really feel. I'm glad you finally grew a set. All these years, I wondered if you ever would have the balls to take what you want in life. I guess you do now. Unfortunately I had relied on you settling. I decided to settle too. I was going to be the little woman you wanted and provide Rebecca with a stable mother. But that all changed the night you called out someone else's name when we made love."
"We didn't make love Mia. We haven't made love since I was in college. All we had was sex. And its cost me more than I ever dreamed."
"It's going to continue to cost you. I want an abortion Bruce. I can't deal with you in my life either. But its up to you Bruce, pony up $2000 and keep me out of your life. Pay, or live with the fact that I'll be raising this one how I see fit. Even with a judge in your pocket, it will be really difficult for you to take a new born away form its mother. Go back to Amy and think about it, you know how to reach me." And with that, Mia hung up.
Bruce was stunned; he held the phone next to his ear even though the call was done. After a few seconds he dropped his hand from his ear.
"Hey, you ok?" Amy asked with great concern. She could tell that things weren't well with Bruce.
"No Amy..." Bruce unwrapped Amy's and turned to face her. He looked distraught.
"... Mia wants me to pay for an abortion."
"What? How could she ask you that? She knows you don't believe in abortions."
"That's why she asked me. She's infuriated with me... Amy she's in a state that I've never heard her in. I know we probably said some stuff out of anger, but Mia sounded cold and calculated..."
Bruce put the phone down on the end table and sat on the couch. Amy followed him and sat close. She could feel his apprehension over what he had to say.
"What is it? Bruce, you can tell me anything. Trust me."
"Amy, I do trust you... I'm going to tell you, it's just hard to deal with." Bruce spoke without looking up. Then his demeanor changed, as if he was facing the music; he sat up and looked in her eyes.
"If you remember, when I told Mia she could stay with me, it was just for her to get on her feet. She mentioned wanting to be a better mother to Rebecca and in so many words, she insinuated on working things out between us. But I've heard it all before Amy. Even still, I felt I owed it to Rebecca to give Mia yet another chance. So I tried again, but this time things were different. I just didn't care what Mia did, and for some reason: it really bothered her."
Bruce grabbed Amy's hands. He knew the next information he had to give her was really personal. He wanted to assure her that it was old news. He caressed her hands as he spoke.
"We never had a problem in the bedroom and it was common for us to share it on occasion. Even though I put my foot down and told her I wasn't falling for her games, I did. It was difficult to deny her. As the mother of my child, I guess I always had a soft spot. Well this last time, things were different; I wasn't falling to any of her advances..."
Amy looked at him intently and saw a look of discomfort come over him again. She squeezed his hand to prompt him to continue. "Then came the day that you and I had that talk about interracial relationships. Amy, I really believe most of what I said: I believe in black families. It 'would' be ideal to find a beautiful black Catholic woman. But she couldn't stop me from loving you. I lied to you and myself that day. It drove me insane for the rest of that night. It made matters worse that you cried in my arms. I felt somewhat responsible. You were looking to me to vindicate your belief in love and I made you realize how all alone you are in the world."
"No Bruce. Well it did hurt what you said. But you still comforted me. It did me a world of justice to be held. It didn't matter what you had said, actions speak louder than words."
"But it ate me up inside Amy. I was filled with conflict. I told you what I had programmed myself to say, and it was killing me to hold in what I felt, especially after holding you in my arms. When I told you that you didn't need a reason –I think my subconscious was trying to tell 'me' something. I spent the rest of that day being haunted by our conversation. I can't explain why it affected me so. I thought I had gotten used to suppressing my feelings for you. Regardless, I couldn't get the conversation out of my mind... I had a couple of drinks hoping to clear my mind. When that didn't work, I came across the ridiculous idea that sex might work..."
Bruce lowered his eyes again. It was difficult to maintain eye contact telling Amy this.
"...Maybe focusing my attention on another woman would get you off of my mind. So I decided that I wouldn't dismiss Mia if she approached me that night. It was such a stupid thing to do. I don't have any excuse. I thought about stopping quite a few times, I don't know why I didn't. I wasn't even enjoying it; it wasn't Mia that I wanted to be with. My mind stayed on you. I ended up fantasizing about being with you –to the point that I actually envisioned you and said your name...."
Amy couldn't help but smile. It wasn't the right time so she quickly hid it. Just a few seconds earlier, she had not been so enlightened; hearing Bruce explain his indiscretion, but her heart fluttered knowing that he fantasized about her.
"...I wasn't sure I even said it out loud, but I did. Mia never let me know then. The next day she took off. I knew something wasn't right because there was always a period of civility between us when we used to rekindle in the past. Oddly I didn't care. It was like the tables were turned. She had used me for so many years that missing the 'honeymoon' didn't matter. I felt bad that she left Rebecca in that matter, but even she's grown accustomed to Mia's breezing in and out of our lives. I've known Mia to be selfish and self centered, but not deranged. She used the condom I wore to get pregnant."
Silence filled the air. Amy was speechless. She now completely understood Bruce's distressed disposition. She leaned into Bruce and hugged him. It was all she could think to do.