A High Price

By: Barbara Kennedy

Disclaimer: This story is a total creation of my mind but the
characters belong to J.K. Rowling. It is probably totally
Alternate Universe, so if anything I put in here doesn't match
up with any of the books, tough luck, just take my word for it
that it happened in this reality.

This is going to be almost totally from Snape's point of view.
I'm not sure where the story will end up yet either. It's a bit
dark and angsty but maybe something good will come of it.

Author's Note: My Severus-muse has fought me over this chapter
ever since I finished the second one. I had to rewrite it three
times! Then I decided, if he wasn't going to cooperate, I'd just
write it into the story and it all came together.

This chapter is dedicated to Logospilgrim and Snapefan51. They
have been more help than they realize.

*indicates thoughts*
~stressed words~
______________________________
CHAPTER 3 - A Helping Hand
______________________________

*No, I don't want to wake up.*

"Severus, dear boy, wake up now."

*What purpose is there in ever waking again? There is only pain
and desolation for me there.*

"Come on Professor Snape, please, wake up. There is no reason
you should still be unconscious."

I dive even deeper into the darkness, but the voices persist in
calling me, wanting me to come to them.

"Wake up. You must eat something, it has been five days and you
will starve if you don't eat soon. You won't heal any further
until your body gets food, Severus. You are beginning to waste
away."

*I don't care, go away.*

I try to shut out the voices.

*Just leave me alone!*

"Alright, Severus, you leave me no choice."

Suddenly I am being jerked out of my dark hiding place like a
fish on a hook.

I recognize the effects of an Enervate; I've had plenty of them
used on me during my lifetime as well.

Still, I refuse to open my eyes. I'm afraid they will see my
weakness, my fear. . . my tears.

*I don't want their pity.*

*Won't they just go away and leave me alone?*

*Why did they even try to save me? What use am I now, to myself
or anyone else?*

Someone shakes my right shoulder and, before I realize that I
can move now, I lash out blindly with my right hand.

SMACK

*I struck . . . someone. Who did I just hit?*

I quickly open my eyes now because I must know who I hit.

There beside me stands Albus Dumbledore Headmaster of Hogwarts,
hatless, holding his nose, his glasses askew on his face and his
eyes are watering. He has a very surprised look on his face.

*Oh no, I've hit the Headmaster, but I cannot say I'm sorry,
actually, I'm almost glad.*

I needed to hit something and I still want to lash out and make
them leave me alone.

"Petrificus Totalis!" Poppy has placed me under a full body
bind. "~Severus! Stop it, calm yourself!~. . . Albus, are you
hurt?"

"No Poppy, nothing is broken, I'm surprised, not hurt. Really,
Severus, if that is the worst you can do, dear boy, I can see
why Poppy is so worried about you."

He looks amused as he adjusts his glasses, instead of being mad,
as I would have expected him to be if someone had just punched
him in the face.

I cannot even speak while under the full body bind, so I just
glare at him.

*How dare he find anything about my condition ~amusing~?*

"Now, please, listen to me Severus. I know you have suffered a
traumatic loss, but it ~is not~ the end of the world. Your
wounds have almost healed, it is time to stop feeling sorry for
yourself and work at regaining your strength. You still have
your classes to teach and the Slytherins need someone to guide
them. You ~are~ still their Head of House."

He motions his hand at me and Poppy's charm is broken. My
frustration and anger just pour forth, like a dam bursting at a
weak point.

"How the HELL am I supposed to teach with ONE HAND, Albus? How
can I even do a simple potion? How can I hope to survive if . .
.if. . ."

I am screaming at Dumbledore. I find myself waving my arms in
agitation until . . .

I see . . .

my left arm . . .

minus a large part of it.

There is still a large white bandage wrapped around the stump
below my elbow.

I stop and stare at it. Anything I was about to say goes
completely from my mind. With my mouth agape, I find myself
shivering and gasping for breath.

*I wasn't prepared for this, how could I be?*

*Bloody hell! I AM NOT going to cry! I will not show weakness!*

My vision blurs as tears threaten to leak from my eyes in spite
of my effort at self-control.

My voice is only a whisper. "M - Mer - Merlin's beard, Albus, it
- it really ~is~ gone - I . . ."

I try to deny what I see, it cannot be real, but it is. In that
one desolate moment I do not think I have hope for a future
anywhere. No one would want to employ a crippled ex-Death Eater
Potions Master who cannot even make a simple potion anymore.
That is, if I survive long enough outside of Hogwarts to worry
about a job.

Seeing my shock, Albus speaks sharply, obviously demanding my
full attention. He looks very stern.

"SEVERUS! Listen to me. You CAN teach and do potions and
anything, within reason, that you could do before your accident.
You still have your wand hand. As for anything else, you will
just need to use some new tools to assist you, much like this
one."

While Dumbledore is speaking, Poppy is carefully measuring what
I recognize as a Calming Potion into a glass from a tray near my
bed. Since I am shaking so badly, she raises my head and brings
the glass to my lips, making sure I drink all of it. She eases
me back onto the pillow and I lower my arm and hide it back
under the covers.

Albus leans down and picks up a long case from under my bed and
places it on the foot of the bed next to me.

It looks like a long and narrow black chest, embellished with a
colorful Hogwarts crest flanked on each side by a Slytherin
snake and a phoenix, all positioned in the center of the top.

By the time Albus opens the case, the Calming Potion has taken
affect. I have ceased shivering and I can somewhat control
myself again.

I'm willing to listen to whatever hope the Headmaster has to
offer me, for now.

"Quite a few people got together to create this item for you
after they heard what happened and how you were hurt. Many of
them are students, Severus, but not all, as you might surmise
from the fine case they made for it as well. I will admit that I
helped just a little."

Albus reaches into the case and presents me with - an arm. He
holds it nearer so I can see it closely.

I am fascinated yet repelled by it at the same time. I cannot
bring myself to touch it.

It is made of a highly-polished dark wood, much like the ebony
of my wand, with what appears to be a padded black dragon skin
'cup' to fit over the end of my stump. It looks much like a fine
artist's sculpture of my own missing left hand down to the nails
on each finger.

I'm secretly touched and impressed by the fine work that must
have gone into its creation, but I cannot see its purpose aside
from cosmetic appearances. An illusory Glamour would do as well
to hide my deformity.

"Just how is this wooden 'thing' going to help me to do all
that, Albus?"

"There are several permanent charms on it to make it easier for
you to wear and use, Severus."

"Use, Albus?" I scoff at his choice of words. "For what, a
club?"

"Yes, Severus, I said ~use~. This arm was not just made for
appearances. It is a working hand, charmed to move at your
command. When you are wearing it, you will be able to pick up
something as fine as a single hair, as fragile as an eggshell or
lift a heavy cauldron with it. It does have limits though.
Although it will move almost like your own hand, I'm afraid you
won't be able to feel much with it. You will be able to tell
when you ~are~ touching something, and how hard, but I'm afraid
you won't be able to tell if it is hot or cold, smooth or rough.
You will have to use your other hand to feel those things"

I'm speechless. If it can truly do all those things, then it is
an incredible amount of effort put into this gift in so short a
time. I'm sure the look on my face said volumes to Dumbledore.
Perhaps I do see a small glimmer of hope for my future.

"Who thought of such a remarkable thing? Was it you, Albus?"

"It was very much a group effort, my boy, but the initial idea
can be credited to Miss Hermione Granger, I believe. She
approached me and proposed that this be made for you after she
heard the news of your accident. I suggested that she should
enlist people from all four of the school houses and the Order
to help with the project and I volunteered my help as well."

"Do you mean to tell me she got ~all four~ of the Houses to
cooperate on this?"

"Yes, Severus, she did, as well as persuading a number of the
teachers here at the school to help out."

Poppy breaks in. "That is enough for right now Headmaster, you
can tell Severus the rest later. He must eat while he still has
strength to do so. Put it away please."

"Yes, Madam Pomfrey, you are right. I don't want to overtax
Severus." He takes the arm and puts it back in its case, then
slides it back under my bed.

Madam Pomfrey then turns to me with a stern warning in her eyes.

"Severus, you need to let your arm heal a while longer before
you can try your new prosthetic hand. For now, you need to eat
and drink so you CAN heal some more. I don't dare give you any
more sleeping or healing potions just yet. You are too weak now
from starving for four days. Your body has no reserves left
after the healing it has already done and you are beginning to
get dehydrated. I need to make sure you eat as often as I can to
build up your strength and get your body to heal. If you don't
eat, I'll be forced to use muggle medical methods to give you
liquids. I know how to set up an intravenous line and I'm
prepared to use one if I must." [Author's note; the healing
potions need something to work with, I figure.]

"Alright, blast it woman, quit your infernal nagging. I'll eat,
if only to shut you up. You know I don't care for muggle
medicine."

She raises the head of my bed and props me up with pillows then
sets a tray in front of me. I feel some pain in my lower body as
I am moved, a reminder of my other injuries not yet fully
healed. "Eat now Severus. You should have no trouble managing
it. Finish everything on the tray, then you must rest some
more."

At least everything on the tray is manageable one-handed and I
can only assume the menu was chosen to be nutritious yet easy on
the stomach because the selection is rather bland and boring. I
am hungrier than I can remember being in a long time, though, so
I do as she says without much complaint or resistance.

Albus draws a chair up beside my bed as I eat. "How do you feel
now, Severus? Shall I tell the Slytherins that you will be back
soon? They do seem worried about you."

"Yes, alright, Albus, you can tell them that I will be able to
see them sometime soon."

Albus looks much relieved at my agreement and smiles again.
"Very good Severus, they will be delighted to hear it. You rest
now and follow Madam Pomfrey's instructions. I'll leave you now.
Just work at regaining your strength for now and finish healing.
You are still needed here, Severus." With those words Albus
Dumbledore took his leave of the Hospital Wing.

After I finish eating, Madame Pomfrey gives me a potion to ease
pain and I soon fall asleep again.

To be continued. . .
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Well, this chapter was a little longer than the previous ones (8
pages in Word.) Is everyone a little happier now?
I just want to thank every one of my reviewers. I won't be
thanking everyone individually as I just don't have time to do
that, but I want you all to know I really treasure your
opinions, ideas and encouragement.
That said, how about a few words in review, please?