Slowly Luke began to breathe normally, "Yeah, we're pregnant." Not knowing what to say, not knowing what Lorelai was thinking, not knowing anything really, Luke asked tentatively, "What are you thinking? I mean, how do you feel about all of this?"
Lorelai didn't know what to say either so she pulled Luke's arm around her so that she could nestle her head in the hollow where his neck met his shoulder. Finally, she spoke, "I guess that I always thought that if I had more kids that I'd do it right. That I'd be married and we'd plan for it and it'd be magical. Not this. This has really taken me by surprise."
"Taken me by surprise too," Luke intoned perceiving disappointment in Lorelai's voice.
Lorelai couldn't decipher the inflection in Luke's voice; she couldn't decide if he was happy or upset, but assumed the latter, "I'm sorry."
The apology caught Luke off-guard, "Sorry, why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong, we got ourselves into this situation. If I remember correctly I participated as much as you did."
"Ohh, dirty Mr. Danes," and they both smiled. "Okay, so what are you thinking?" she asked him.
"My head is spinning and I'm not really thinking at all right now. I have to go back to the basics, to what I do know. I know that I love you." He turned his head toward her then, "Lorelai, I love you. I've known that for a long time and this doesn't change that." He saw Lorelai smile, he instinctively knew that she felt the same.
Both lay in silence for a time until Lorelai spoke, "Maybe we should take some time to think, to process what this means. I mean, think about it apart, individually. Neither of us was expecting this and it's a pretty big issue."
A long minute passed before Luke agreed, "Yeah, you are probably right, we each need to take some time."
"But not tonight, tonight I want to be here with you. I need you to hold me and tell me that you love me some more. It's weird, but I feel really alone right now," Lorelai confessed.
Luke didn't understand, "Lorelai, you are not alone, I'll never let that happen."
"I guess it's just memories. I mean Christopher didn't stick around long after I told him. I'm glad we found out the results together. In a way, I didn't have to tell you, you found out when I did."
Intrigued, Luke pried further, "How did you tell Christopher back then?"
Lorelai could picture the day perfectly in her head, bad memories had a tendency to stick around. "I was crying, I was scared. He just sat there staring at me. I'm sure he was picturing his life being over, and I know that we were both trying to figure out how to tell our parents. I was probably more scared of my parent's reaction than to actually having a baby. After we told everyone, he asked me to marry him. Did you know that?" Without waiting for Luke to answer so continued, "I knew he wasn't ready, knew it wouldn't work and I didn't want that for him ... for us. So I said no." She took a breath, but continued to stare at the ceiling, "It was so stressful, everything was stressful—telling anyone, letting the school know, hiding it from 'the right' people, not finishing high school. I just don't want to do that again. ... I wonder what it's like for normal people, people who are excited when the strip turns pink. I think I'd like to have that feeling someday."
Luke didn't know how to respond so he just wrapped both arms around her to let her know that she was not alone.
TBC
A/N: Only one chapter left!