Jamie went for tests at the end of the week. She had to stay over night in the hospital and even though she phoned Landon that night to reassure him she was all right he worried anyway.
He knew it was not as simple as a few blood tests like the doctor sends you for when mono's going around. Jamie's heart had to be monitored over a certain period of time along with a bunch of other tests on her other vital organs. It was confusing and frightening to him, but Jamie seemed to take it in stride. In a way he was almost relieved when she insisted that he not visit. Immediately he felt guilty, this was only the beginning of what Jamie was going to go through, he had to be strong to face it all as it came.
He did not sleep well that night. Every time his eyes closed he pictured Jamie alone in a hospital room. Why had he not insisted on going with her? He asked himself. Even if he had had to sit in an uncomfortable chair all night he would have been able to keep her company.
The next day at school he felt sluggish and irritable from lack of sleep and worry. He was just dozing off in the middle of English class, the last period of the day when there was a knock on the door.
Miss. Dobbs went to answer it and Landon was just returning his head to the top of his desk when Jamie stepped into the room. He was up in a flash and at her side within two seconds.
From the smile on her face he did not even need to ask, he knew that she qualified that she was going to go through with the operation. Not caring where they were he grabbed her around the waist and spun around.
Laughing she threw hers arms around his neck and held tight. Finally setting her down neither one of them even looked back at the classroom full of bewildered faces staring as if the two of them had gone insane. They ran hand in hand out of the school and into the parking lot to his car.
They would have driven off if Landon's shaking hands would have allowed them to. Jamie giggled and laid her hand on his shoulder. "Landon, settle down. You're vibrating!"
Taking a deep breath he nodded. "I've been a bundle of nerves all day! I was so nervous and then you were just standing there, smiling! I knew it had to be good news" frowning, he looked at her again, "it is good news, right, Jamie?"
"Of course it's good news. I was going to phone you but I had to tell you in person so I had Daddy drop me off here. Dr. Peterson, that is the specialist who your dad told me about, the one who has been researching ways to heal the heart, has decided that I am a perfect candidate to try this new procedure out on!"
She was glowing and so Landon decided to throw all of his questions and fears out the window for the time being and just celebrate with her. They could deal with the hard stuff another day.
"And guess what?" she asked excitedly, her whole face lighting up. "Dr. Peterson said he thought it would be okay if I went to Prom. I'm to take it easy, because the surgery is the Tuesday after, but he says it'll be okay!"
"Tuesday?" Landon stuttered "That's so soon, less then a week and a half. I thought this was experimental, don't they need more time to... well experiment before they try it out on you?"
She smiled and shrugged "I guess they think they're ready." Flopping back against the seat she sighed. "I can't believe I get to go to Prom after all!"
It was then he realized that Jamie didn't want to talk about the surgery, that she was going to take joy in a small thing like being allowed to go to Prom. He knew she had the same fears running through her mind as he did. Trying to push them aside he started the engine. "Let's go celebrate then." He said and headed out of the parking lot.
They went out for dinner and to a movie. They both tried to keep the mood light and only talked about positive things. Coming out of the theatre Landon looked over at Jamie and caught her yawning. "I'm taking you home." He told her. "You should be in bed."
"I feel like a little kid sometimes, or a really old woman. I have a bed time." She pulled her sweater a little tighter around her shoulders and shrugged. "It makes me mad, I'm only 18. I'm supposed to have endless energy and be out having fun. Instead I am in bed by eight, taking a bunch of pills to keep me alive."
It was the first time Landon had ever really seen Jamie upset about being sick. He stopped in the parking lot beside her and fiddled with his keys. "I am finally at the place where I always wanted to be, never thought I would be. I'm graduating in a few weeks; I have the greatest boyfriend on earth. The kicker is I'm dying." She waved her hand at Landon when he started to protest.
"I know you are going to say that I'm having this surgery. That's true and that may or may not work, we've both been thinking the same thing, Landon. But right now as we speak
I'm dying and that makes me mad. I'm not scared, I'm mad!"
By now tears were running down her cheeks. He knew she was not finished though. "I am in love for the first time and I know that this is the real thing, that this is the kind of love that lasts! I know it! And the fact that I might not get to live that out makes me so angry! Instead of being promised a life time with the person I love most, getting married, having babies, growing old together, I'm promised Prom!" She laughed then, a sad little laugh. "I'm allowed to go to Prom because they don't know what is going to happen to me next Tuesday and so they need to give me something to look at and say 'well at least I had that!'"
She brought her hands up to cover her face and allowed Landon to take her into his arms. He smoothed her hair back from her face and rocked with her. He had no words to console her, he knew that was not what she needed. She just needed to be held.
He dropped her off half an hour later. She insisted on stopping at a gas station to use the washroom to wash her face so her father would not guess she had been crying. She didn't want to upset him.
After he watched Jamie walk upstairs from the door he quietly let himself into the house. He knocked on the door of Reverend Sullivan's study.
Looking up he was surprised to see Landon. He put down his pen and motioned for Landon to come in and close the door.
"I'm sorry to disturb you at this time of night sir." He began awkwardly. "I just dropped Jamie off. She doesn't know I'm still here."
"Sit down, Landon" The Reverend said pleasantly "and tell me what's on your mind."
Sitting down and facing Jamie's father he nervously wiped his sweaty palms on the knees of his jeans. "Well, Reverend Sullivan, Sir, there's something I would like to ask you."