Author's note: Now that we've taken care of disclaimers (the deal's that I certainly don't own most of the main characters), I'd like to continue on with this story. Warning though, some characters may not sound like what we've been used to. Also, I have only seen a few episodes of the first season of "All Grown Up" (not my fault), so there will be little mention of these events. Otherwise, enjoy!

Rugrats Midlife: Seven Years in Seven Days

Chapter Two: Sort This One Out

Tommy

Tuesday morning. Another dry summer day of work. But in two weeks time, maybe a break from all these problems, I thought to myself.

But first I had to call my mother-in-law. Somebody has to take care of the kids while we're gone.

"Why hello there, Tommy-kun," Kira answered from the other line, startling me with her correct guess as to who called her up. "Why do you sound surprised..."

"Nah, just forgot your phone had Caller ID, Kira-san," I replied. First up, that alibi was true. Second, I started using the honorific –san four years ago in deference to the old lady, who had just turned 70 then.

The voice on the other line sounded understanding. "Fine then, so what's on your mind?"

Now I'm not the one who asks favors from Kira here-Chuckie and Kimi do that for me-but, I muttered under my breath, what the hell. "Can you please take care of the children in two week's time?"

She was puzzled at the timing. "In two weeks?" she queried with a mild laugh. "Maybe if you called up later this week or the next I could understand, but now? Where in blazes will you and Kimi be going?"

I was at a loss on what to say, but heck, here we go. "Retreat at Berkel Creek. Chuck, Phil, Fred, Lil, Madie, Susie, Angelica, the whole gang will go." The other line was silent for awhile.

"Fine then, I'll come and take care of the house and your kids. I just hope Chuckie's found out where to leave his children-" Again I cut her off.

"Where else but at Rupert's?" I replied, eliciting a grunt from her-both persons weren't on easy terms. Why can't the adults learn from the kids, in this case Chuckie and Madie?

"Mention his name again and the deal's over, jarhead," she snickered. (One of the mysteries whose answers have eluded me until now is why Kira still adresses me as a jarhead, despite me being out of the Corps for two long years.) "Otherwise, a good Holy Week retreat. That's all." Well, at least she didn't slam the phone down.

Off to the next caller-Angelica. Though worse, at least she can be dealt with, I thought to myself. The other end was answered by her husband's assistant (and coincidentally her former schoolmate), Harold Rumkin.

"Hello, Harold," I addressed him. "Where's Angelica?"

"In the other room, working. I think you shouldn't be calling-she's very temperamental today." His explanation wasn't really needed, as I can hear her irritated groans. Fortunately, I felt, this could be an easy one.

"Just send her to me, will ya?" I requested. Harold didn't need repetition-I'm as commanding as Calvin when it comes to this. By some miracle, the Ice Princess became as cherubic as her name when she picked up the phone.

"Why hello there, Thomas," she said over the phone. So what do you want?"

"What's with all the growling and shouting?" I asked.

"Trust me, it's nothing, heheh, nothing really, yeah, that's right, nothing. Nil. Zilch. Nada." It's actually her workload, trust me-I've seen the hulks of paper on her desk and the computer open 24/7. She'll be needing this retreat.

"I'll take your word for it, Ange," I replied. "Anyway how about you and Calvin go with the rest of the gang for a Lenten retreat at Berkel Creek?"

"Uhhh... why not?" It used to be she was the one all bossy and mean, and could claim so due to age. One thing though-age isn't important anymore when you realize you're growing old. The "dumb babies" had, in her opinion now, supped of the Fountain of Youth. "I'll leave Ballina with Harold and my parents. When do we go?"

"Holy Week, and then we leave before Easter Sunday," I replied. "For more details, ask Phil. He's the one who made all of this up." After a brief thank-you from her, we both hung up.

After all that, I made a run-down of those I had called up, and only Dil and Fred remained. Maybe Kimi will take care of Fred through Lil, I thought, while I'll tackle Dil. I pressed the autodial for his and Katrina's phone number.

Kimi

"Come on, answer," I muttered to myself as I was desperately dialing Susie's number. She takes many calls, being a doctor and all, but I figured she shouldn't miss this opportunity. "Answer, goddamit!"

"Hello, Susan Carmichael-Jones, M.D., how may I help you?" a rasped African-American-accented voice gently addressed. My tone changed from consternation to meekness.

"Kimi here, Suze. Ummm, would you want to come with the rest of the gang to a retreat?" What was I thinking-she's a doctor, for Pete's sake! 24-hour service!

"When and why?" Susie queried. "Obviously we'll both be too busy, as it'll be a prime day for summer work for all of us."

"Worry not, sister," I replied, trying to smooth-talk her into coming. "Phil's marked it up a week before Easter, and we'll be back before then. Besides, I think that's the whole point of the retreat, no? Escaping from our worries?" Honestly I didn't know what I was saying at that time.

The voice on the other line brooded on this for a while. "Hmmm, actually, not much to do on both my and Malcolm's part-basically I'm on standby at obstetrics and kids are healthy. Malcolm's just completed his defense at the trial, so maybe we can come-we can leave Jamal and Trevor at Edwin's. So where will it be?"

"Berkel Creek. Oh, and Tom says it ain't a vacation, so don't bother with the expenses-I think Phil will handle that."

Susie just sighed (in relief, I suppose) and later started to speak yet again. "So where will your kids be?"

"Umm, I think Tom's finished talking to Mama about that, and now I think he's speaking to Angelica right about now. From what I assume, she-Mama, that is-will take care of the children, and if she's lucky, maybe Stu, or if not, Rupert, will come around as well taking care of Dil's."

The other end assented. "Uh-huh, so this is the sum of it. We will spend a week in Berkel Creek to, well, refresh our darned minds and stuff like that. I'm taking it that Padre's behind all this, right?"

"Right you are, sis. Look, I'd better call Lil. Okay Suze, toodles!" After she had put down the phone, I decided that, in an effort to slash my cellphone fees, I had better send an SMS to Lil. After a short while, I had the following message:

Lil wud u n Fred come wd us

to a retreat? Berkel creek,

durng holy wk ur bro's idea

Kimi

Soon, I received a reply:

Kimi hurd abt it frm Phil, will

srly come leave kids wd Mom

& Pops Lil

Well, that settles Lil, I told myself. Now I wondered hou Chucko's doing with the invite. Meanwhile I started cleaning up the dishes, hurriedly, as both of us were headed to work and Des has dressed up already, Clem having been fetched by the bus service.

Chuckie

"You really sure you can handle them Rupert?" I queried on the phone as a man with a New England accent laughed heartily.

"But'f course, Chuckie," Rupert replied, "as long as ye' mother doesn't mind it. In-law rivalry, I always say."

I was getting a bit unnerved by this. "Look, Rupe, I know Mama and you aren't on good terms, but why don't you let bygones be bygones, huh?"

"Sure, sure," he replied. "As sure as you are still the CEO of Eaglecom." Because I had succeeded in turning Eaglecom's finances around when I became CEO of that company, I was invited by some of my Uncle Edmund's underlings to perform the same capacity as President and Chief Executive at Finster Holdings, owner of Java Lava, Delano's, Henson's Chicken House, Tivoli Italeria and Aji-a restaurant conglomerate. Since then it has become a struggle to lift the company from the doldrums, but I can say we are getting our fiscal problems licked. No wonder Dad resigned as Chairman and CEO after three years. And as for my mother and father-in-law not being on good terms, Mama had just had it with Rupert's sarcastic remarks and surprisingly had some of her own (I won't get to details here, capiche?).

"For the love of Christ, Dad, just please leave my mother alone! No wait, I have a better idea-why don't you and, ehem, 'Kirer' both take care of my and Madie's kids? You can do yourselves a favor not arguing, okay?"

"Me? Stick with that trollop-"

"Or you can see your grandkids once every leap year! You insult my mother again like that and I will tell my children YOU DON'T EVEN EXIST, RUPERT!" That brought Madz on the phone, looking as angry as I am, although she was mostly angry at me.

"Dad, that's enough, 'kay? Chuckie's really sensitive when it comes to family matters, and besides, your bluntness ain't helping! Wish Mom was here. So will you take care of them? Oh, and you'll even stay with Kira? I see. Okay Dad, thanks very much, 'bye!" She then looked sternly at me. "Look Chuckie, I have been doing you a nice favor not shouting at your mother, so have the same respect to my old man! In the end, we both have problems, and shouting ain't helping, so please!" I nodded in agreement, but I felt I had to explain myself.

"Look, Madz," I blurted, "I-I really didn't intend this to be a shouting match, okay? You see, hon, ah... well, you know him! God love the person who's hit by his sarcastic comments. Otherwise, you may as well be right." I looked at my watch. "Well then, it's Tommy's turn on the phone now." A speed dial on my cellphone made sure this happened.

"Hiya Chuck," Tommy answered from the other line, a bit weary. "So what happened?"

I replied, "Oh, nothing, except I nearly had a shouting match with Rupert. So how did it go?"

"First off, Kira's agreed to take in Clemmie, Des and the house, and so has Dad."

"So that'll make three seniors in your house then?"

"Three?"

"For some reason, Madie persuaded Rupe to go stay with Mama and Stu with the kids-can Carl, Mel and Tancred stay with you there? The butler can take care of the house."

"Yeah, sure. Second, the rest of the gang have inked up their approval. As a matter of fact, I just called up Dil."

"Even Angelica?"

"Even Angelica."

I turned my attention to other matters. "What about Kimi?"

"She's in this as well, obviously." What the hell was I thinking bringing that up?

"So any word from Felipe yet?"

"He says we'll meet at the church he works in for some final fixes. Rules, locations, the works."

By then I had reached my Camaro. "I see. So that'll be second Sunday after this then?"

"Yep, 0300."

"Three o'clock in the goddamn morning 'eh?"

"Right on, Chucko. So it's goodbye then?"

"Right you are. 'Bye!" I sat down on the driver's seat waiting for what remained of my anger to subside before switching on the ignition.

Now that some of the details have been worked out, how will the rest get fixed? And can both Rupert and Kira keep their blood pressures in check? Find out on Chapter Three: Leaving!