The Daily Prophet, Readers' Columns
A collection of short articles sent in for publishing to the Daily Prophet, by various members of the Wizarding World.
Dear Readers',
I have decided – after the flood of letters I have received from people wishing to have work/articles e.t.c, published in his newspaper – to create an entirely new section, which is devoted to people in the wizarding worldwho wish to have their opinions e.t.c. known. If you have anything you would like to see in print, please send it to the usual address!
Enjoy,
The Editor.
Issue Two:
Hufflepuffs aren't 'a bunch of old duffers'
By Ernie Macmillan
Good Morning Readers, I have decided to write an article into this very well-respected newspaper – read by all the right people – to defend my house at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and dispel the malicious rumour that the people in Hufflepuff house are 'a bunch of old duffers'. For any of you who were wondering, a duffer is, according to the 'Collins, English dictionary', printed in 1992, 'a stupid, inefficient person'. Now, anyone who has ever met me knows for a fact that I am not stupid. I am also extremely efficient.
No one else in the school, has, as yet, organised all their socks into different categories of colour, stretchiness, posh ness, and length. I am also proud to say, I have never, NEVER lost a sock in the wash. Now to must of you, that should have proved my point, but for the rest of you dunderheads (meaning, according to same dictionary 'blockhead', which when looked up led me too 'fool, simpleton'. I think you get my point) out there I will continue.
Hufflepuffs, for the last two years, have achieved a 67 pass rate, most people getting an A (as my friend Hannah Abbot informs me, this means 'Amazing'), and a surprising amount getting a T (Terrific) Hardly any other houses got the number of T's Hufflepuff received. I myself received three.
Faced with this information, I am sure that everyone, including the other three houses at Hogwarts, will agree we are not duffers (see translation above). I look forward to reading this article when a kindly Gryffindor or Ravenclaw gives me a copy. I'd also like to request no Slytherins wrap me up in the newspaper again and attempt to post me to Peru. My mum doesn't like me crumpling my shirt.
Ernie Macmillan
I don't have anything against Hufflepuffs! It was just a random idea I got when I was re-reading the Philosophers Stone for the millionth time! Sorry if I offended any Hufflepuff fans! ;-p
I am totally blown away by the number of reviews I got for Chapter One! I just sincerely hope this has alerted as many people as possible to the plight of the Garden Gnome! At least bring him in when it rains!
abi freeman: Hopefully the punctuation will be better in this one – although I don't hold out too much hope as I have a long seated history of rubbish ness when it comes to grammar, and Moony isn't here to beta for me! I apologise in advance!
EmeraldBlackSnake: Thank you for faithfully reviewing every random idea we put up on this site!
Faint Hate: Thank you very much!
Desipoplover13: as usual, you are brilliant, we love you, and please update your story!
Petitange21: Thank you as well for reviewing everything we put up here! Once again, we really appreciate your translating the Lonely Hearts!
King Kazul: Thank you!
Duj: Thank You!
LadyRaven13: Thank You!
Scotgirl: Thank you!
Please R & R!
If we get enough reviews Ernie may be able to buy his way into a better house! Do it for Ernie! Do it for Hufflepuff!
P,P,M