The weekend had gone by with an extreme slowness. There were pros and cons to that situation and they were quite obvious to Emma, who was dreading the arrival of Monday. It seemed as though she kept on waiting for the end of each day and the dreading of a new one. The monotonous cycle was what her life seemed to be right now. There was no living, just going through the motions with a rain cloud hovering over her. The rain cloud was plugged with rain and could possibly produce a downpour at any second. Unfortunately for Emma, there was no umbrella in sight.
She was greeted with the uproar of gossip and idle chit chat as she pushed open the doors to the school. In her mind flashed the picture of various people gawking at her while soft yet vicious whispering radiated in the air near them. The events of Friday night were something she could remember clearly as if they were playing on a television in her mind. The plot of the television show baffled her as she watched it for the first time and couldn't make heads or tails of it. However, the show was interrupted by a commercial as a familiar voice called Emma's name.
"Emma," she spun around as the vision of JT running towards her filled her eyes. She stopped in her tracks, letting him catch up to her. "I'm sorry about Friday night. If it makes you feel any better, the senorita known as Hillary Jones rejected my mating call. Oh well, I'm still on the prowl." He ran a hand through his hair as he waited for Emma's response.
She smiled vaguely yet reassuring, "It's okay. How was the rest of your weekend?"
JT looked at her while cocking an eyebrow while silently asking a question. She responded with the raising of her eyebrow as she inquired about what in the world he seemed to be talking about. She certainly wasn't any mind reader albeit she did have more intelligence than that of a toaster oven.
"Don't even think you're getting off that easily," said JT, catching Emma well off guard. "I know what happened at that party, in the backyard. And while it gives me the heebie jeebies, it also causes me to question whether or not the apocalypse is near."
Her response for now was to simply roll her eyes. Of course, JT had to make a joke out of the whole thing. His life seemed like that of a circus clown, always making everyone laugh and extracting the fun qualities from life to live off of. Fun and jokes were his nutrient. However, at a time where Emma was completely numb to emotions in general, so his sarcasm vexed her greatly.
"He kissed me," Emma replied simply as if she were robotically programmed to do so. "I don't know why and I probably don't want to know. I just wish you were the only one who knew about it."
"I'm not a genie, Em, so you really can't wish other that people didn't know," JT grimaced while fearing the wrath of Emma. Of course, he should have expected that the wrath of Emma had been captured in the lost valley of emotions. "Great, just great," Emma sighed heavily as the bricks fell upon her. This just seemed to be another chapter in the book about why Mondays were the work of the devil himself. She opened her locker with JT adorning the right side of her as she meticuosly placed an assortment of school supplies on the shelves. JT continued to babble on about what he considered the signs of the apocalypse. Of course, each reason was followed by a comedic antidote. If the circumstances, she would have added a giggle in the appropriate places. However, she had no motivation to do anything besides wait for each day to end and dread for the beginning of a new one.
"So, do you have any plans to avoid the wrath of Paige," JT questioned curiously as Emma pulled her notebooks out. "I mean, she's a pretty happening lady, but you do not want to see her mad. It's not pretty."
Emma sent him a quasi-glare before uttering, "Thanks for that positive note and for reinforcing the reasons why I shouldn't have even bothered with coming to school today." She groaned, rather aggravated. "Why do I even bother?"
JT raised an eyebrow before going into a chant, "C'mon, Em! You got to be aggressive! Be aggressive!" He examined the blank expression on her face before letting out his own sigh. "Laugh for me, please? You have a nice laugh."
There was simply no way she was to admit why there was no laughter escaping from her. That would involve including the fact that she was depressed over the current situation of her life. Instead, she decided to be rather apathetic towards it all. It masked the possibility of her having to deal with the vast pain bottling up inside. She just hoped that would be another way to keep the cork on the bottle for a while. The whole being avoidant deal ended with some realizing that you were doing just that. She needed to be an adaptive chameleon. However, there was the minute risk that a predator would come along and discover her.
"Hey guys," a feminine voice chirped happily. A feeling of relief came over Emma when the realization that it was Paige never occurred. However, it was Manny, who was probably there just to toy with JT. Or so Emma thought. "Can you believe that they're keeping that Media Immersion sub we've had? I really didn't like her; I mean she's so—"
"Manny," JT said pointedly as a way of attempting to pull a blanket over Emma and shield her from everything that Manny had subtly pointed out. "I mean, um, what was the science homework?"
As the conversation drifted off into the land of homework and shameless flirting, Emma couldn't help but feeling nauseous at the sight. The overwhelming happiness created a knot in her stomach. In the depths of her melodramatic mind, she wanted everyone to apathetic and unable to deal with emotions like she was. However, that was not the case. The wanting of even being content penetrated her heart. This wanting and needing didn't coincide well with her new apathetic outlook.
As the conversation between Manny and JT raged on, Emma decided to casually slip away. They seemed too involved in their conversation to notice her departure. Or if they did, they pulled some excuse out of the air instead of actually taking the brain power to figure out what was wrong. Besides, apathetic little Emma wouldn't be a wanted asset in a conversation of cheerfulness and laughter.
Apathetic. Washed up. Tired. There was no life left in the canvas. All of the colorful patches had faded as knowledge was abundant. There wasn't beauty behind anything anymore. All hope had come crashing down into jagged pieces that could never be assembled ever again. The only things that remained were the memories of a virgin's suicide inflicted by life.
Emma had been tossed out of her trance as the sounds of fighting picked her up and threw her down. Her senses slowly became alert to what was going on. Every aspect of the situation was observed.
"Gavin Reginald Mason," a female voice screeched. It was the voice of the one she had silently feared. The situation involved her. However, she was not the culprit. She was not Spinner's puppeteer. She was just Emma Nelson. She was just a product of a teenage pregnancy. She was just trying to figure out what in heaven's name was going on. When you're apathetic for so long, the highway of the high school social life is a road you don't want to venture onto.
"Paige, I'm sorry," Emma heard Spinner's voice pleading. "I just...I don't know why that happened. I don't know why!"
The embers of Paige ignited once more before she sobbed, "Oh, well, you should have thought of a reason before you kissed her! What were you thinking?! Spin, sometimes I don't get you! I don't know what's going on inside of your head! Ugh, so this is how it's ending."
Emma watched as a confused expression crawled up Spinner's face. "Dude, hold on! I said I was sorry. I mean, but of course I can't mess up or Paige will freak because everything's not going her way! It's Paige's way or the highway."
"So, hon, you proved your point by cheating on me with a boring and anal retentive environmentalist," Paige crossed her arms against her chest. A fence was being built up. The fence kept the pain from entering or leaving. "Way to go, Spin. Way to mess up our superb relationship. By the way, have fun with your little girlfriend. Oh look and here she is to share your joy of wrecking our relationship!"
Paige trudged away with Hazel who had been waiting for her friend at a nearby locker. They, of course, brushed against Emma to somehow prove a point. It was as if the brushing of their shoulders briskly against hers was to place the blame on her. Of course, the details weren't important. Only the vague ideas of it all were important. The ideas that would be passed through the snippy whispers of the Degrassi student body. However, the gossip flew over Emma's head as it slinked into oblivion. There was no reason to care about the ridiculous gossip and slander that crept through the halls of Degrassi. In the end, none of that mattered. Nothing seemed to matter.
"Hey, Nelson," Spinner turned towards Emma. "Dude, I'm sorry if you heard what Paige said. Girls are like, PMSing and stuff."
Emma rolled her eyes, "If you haven't noticed, I'm a girl." Of course, her tone indicated that Spinner was a complete idiot. He was an idiot floating about in the realm of solitude. He and Jimmy had been gradually separating like a cell during mitosis. They were still on relative speaking terms. However, high school pulled you part. Yet again, Emma wasn't an expert on the social life of Spinner. All she knew was that two actors had dropped out. She didn't know where she would find the others.
"Right," Spinner nodded with a glazed expression. "So, dude, are you okay? You seemed really down on Friday."
Emma groaned, "Why do you care? You don't even know anything about me. You don't even know whether or not everything's okay." She started walking away, abandoning the situation. Here she was, walking away from Spinner when he had tried to get an answer out of her. Oh, the irony. The same exact situation had unfolded only two years ago, only this time there was a role reversal.
"I know more than you think," Spinner insisted. "Your name is Emma Nelson; you live on 901 Cherry Brook Road. Your phone number is 551-3109 and this is all I got from your learner's permit which you left in Kwan's room on Friday." He fished through his pocket while finding miscellaneous other items that did not resemble a learner's permit in the least. He caught up to her and handed it over to her. Emma took the permit before stuffing it into the sea of her denim jean pocket.
"Thanks," She replied monotonously. "Well, I should get to homeroom."
"Dude, no one deserves to be all...blah like you've been," Spinner sighed. "You walk around like you're some kind of robot."
Was he the only one had noticed? It was Spinner. Maybe he wasn't an idiotic sexist pig like she had perceived him out to be. Or maybe she could be living in the land where she got the foolish concept that Spinner was the only one that could possibly understand her. When the rest of the world faded into their own selfish pleasures, there was Spinner, looking for another bottle of cheese whiz to down.
"Like right now," He pointed out before waving a hand in front of her face. "Man, you were just like this on Friday night. Smile, Paige says it doesn't cause wrinkles or some crap like that."
Emma rolled her eyes once more, "Yeah, thanks for the beauty tip, Spinner. I really should get to homeroom. But first, I think I should apologize for being rather insulting to you on Friday night. I'm sorry."
Here she was, apologizing to Spinner. She couldn't explain why. There seemed to be no reasons to explain anything anymore, unless it was point blank in front of you. However, this was a bit to the side, so the interpretations weren't likely to be valid.
"Yeah, well, it's okay," Spinner sighed. "I mean, that was like the least of my worries. I deal though, dude. It's not a big deal."
A flame flickered within Emma. It signaled the slightest bit of life. A characteristic of hers that made her who she was started slowly emerging to the surface. However, it was probably one of her least desirable qualities. It was probably one of her malign ones as well.
She spoke with a great deal of curiosity, "Just how do you deal?"
"Uh, look! The bell is gonna ring," He chimed abruptly. "Hey man, meet me after school. Later, Nelson!"
His departure was abrupt, but a sense of finding solace was imbedded within Emma. If only there was some way to will away the pain from every surfacing. There was too much to deal with as is and emotional pain being a side note didn't help in the least bit. She wanted just to take a temporary yet extended break from it all. She just wanted too much than she could have. There in lied one of the many imbedded problems. A break like that could do her a world of good.
As the day went along, it was just another monotonous Monday. The only difference was the whispering that filtered through the air around her. She ignored it, because that's what listless people do best. All she did besides go through the motions of a typical Monday at school was yearn and contemplated. She yearned for the solace she so desperately needed. She yearned for the day to reach its end. She contemplated about Spinner and all of things that were Spinner related. She was intrigued by him and that was all it amounted to. He wasn't her type in the least, though she didn't begin to fathom about what her type might be.
The day ended with relief for Emma. All of those feelings that she wanted so desperately to be fulfilled had the possibility of doing so. There was so much going on and so much opportunity. There seemed to be no dark side of the moon even though the moon had been all dark for the longest time.
There was no waiting for Spinner, however, as Emma spotted him rushing to god knows where. He could have been playing with her mind, just like all of the others had. Everyone wanted to pull her in so many directions as they continued to roll the die and decide how to do so. There was just so much. There was just too much. There was an oppression that had yet to subside. However the oppression was obscured by the curiosity. The curiosity made her feel alive. She no longer felt like a robot as Spinner so delicately had put it.
As Spinner raced to his destination, Emma trailed after him. Of course, she wasn't stalking him in the least. She was stalking the craving that came along with Spinner and his two for one deal. The bricks along the wall were the same for Spinner as they were for Emma as they were passed. Every crack in the sidewalk was the same for the two. Perhaps the pain they shared was the same. Emma knew it was improbable and one half screamed at her asking her why she was even bothering. There was no silencer to stop it, however there was that empty wrenching feeling tearing away at her stomach. That needed to go away as did that voice in the back of her head. Everything and everyone just needed to go away.
He slinked away into an upscale brick house, which Emma recognized as not being the Mason residence. She had been there on the occasion when Kendra had invited her over but that was long ago. That was back in the time of naïve bliss that had gotten buried under the ocean tide. However, it was certain that things would change in someway. It was the evolution of life.
She hopped up the steps, still high on curiosity. The brisk warm air flowed around her as her finger slipped against the doorbell and caused a sound to ring throughout. Then came the sound of footsteps while Emma anticipated seeing who it was.
"Whoa, are you lost," a male voice asked as the door swung open. "Sorry, but the environmentalist anonymous meeting is at the corner of go and away. Now, goodbye!" As the door was about to slam shut, another voice from within the house spoke up.
"Sully, who the hell is at the door," the deep voice asked, slightly annoyed. "Fine, I'll see for myself."
Emma's eyes involuntarily widened when she saw the image of Spinner complete with bloodshot eyes and not particularly looking too attentive. It took a moment for her mind to make the connections necessary to come up with a valid inference regarding the situation at hand. It all seemed so calculated and scientific. If only the rest of life was easy to explain. However, it was a painting that had various interpretations of it. However, none of the interpretations were incorrect but neither were they correct.
"Whoa, Nelson," Spinner laughed while taking a minute to gaze at the blonde. "How did you find me, dude? I mean, I didn't tell you where I was going or anything. Are you stalking me?" He paused for a moment while Emma stared at him. "Oh, snap! I was supposed to meet you somewhere."
"Are you okay," Emma asked with the raise of an eyebrow.
Sully laughed heartily, "Of course he's okay! Now, why don't you run along and do whatever it is you environmentalist hippies do?"
It was completely apparent to Emma that she was not wanted here. However, that seemed to be the case lately. No one particularly wanted depressed little Emma raining on their splendiferous parade. What was she supposed to do though? Was she supposed to forget that her step dad died? Was she supposed to forget how completely distraught her mother was? If she could, then that would have been heaven sent.
"I'll be leaving now," Emma rolled her eyes before turning swiftly around and departing from the porch steps which she had ascended a moment ago. This was such a mistake, trying to have Spinner help her. That was such a laughable thought. Spinner couldn't even help himself. What was Spinner, besides a disgusting dim sexist pig? Nothing, it seemed.
"Nelson, wait up," an incredibly familiar voice yelled as she continued to shuffle away. "Dude, Sully's an ass." She twirled around and was almost face to face with Spinner, considering he had a good few inches on her. "Just forget him and come back."
The situation was incredibly surreal to Emma. Since when did Spinner want her around? She didn't have any free food on her, so what in the world did he want? But what did anyone want?
"And you want me to come back, why," Emma asked with a scoff. "Spinner, what is with you? Normally, you couldn't stand the sight of me and now you're begging me to come back?" She crossed her arms against her chest trying to build a barricade between her and the messy haired blonde that stood in front of her.
"It's just," He trailed off with a soft sigh. "You've been so...not up. I mean, it's like you're in this pit of doom. It's kind of sad, I guess. No one should be feeling that down."
Oh and what did he know about her life? What did anyone know? Probably not much, considering she didn't place the daily events of her life on a billboard for all of Degrassi to see.
"Spinner, what do you know about me," Emma asked bitterly. "Besides, of course, nothing at all."
He raised an eyebrow at her, as if questioning her intelligence right about now. She, of course, figured that he knew nothing about her, besides that he used to tease her mercilessly when she began junior high. Oh, and he had practically ruined her science project while he had claimed that she had ruined his life. To this day, she couldn't even fathom why she supposedly did.
"Dude, you honestly want to know what I know about you," He started with a chuckle. "Just...let me think about it for a moment." He stroked his chin thoughtfully as he stared up at the cloudy sky as if the answers were written above in a neat scrawl.
"Thought of anything yet," Emma asked impatiently.
"Here's what I've got," Spinner started. "You're Emma Nelson, who is in my grade ten English class because...yeah, you know. You've obviously had a completely sucky year because you always look like you got ran over by a mack truck. Ha, mack truck." He let out a hearty chuckle before going on. "Dude, don't you want to be happy?"
Was she a book waiting to be cracked open in read? Emma felt herself being examined under this microscope. Even though he was being just Spinner, it felt almost as though he had known her so well. He had read through every chapter diligently even after his attention span ceased to exist. Maybe she was just plugging her false hope into the equation. There was some sign of land and she was going to try till she could try no more to reach the land.
"Yeah," Emma stated as though it was doodled all over he forehead. "Who wouldn't want to be happy, huh?"
"Now you're getting it, man," Spinner nodded in approval. "Now you're getting it, you're really getting it."
Before she knew it, she trailed behind Spinner as they entered the elaborate house. The sounds of David Bowie filtered throughout as Spinner glanced at Sully, whose head was swaying back and forth along with the enchanting melody.
"And you're listening to this, why," Spinner questioned before flopping onto the leather sofa near the recliner where Sully was sitting in solitude. It seemed as though he was sinking into the sofa to Emma as she sat down beside him, feeling the texture of the soft leather with her fingertips. The music dispensing out of the stereo was enjoyable to her while the commanding of dancing from David Bowie relaxed every stressed cell in her body.
"Because it's the shit," Sully retorted. "Hey man, I have an awesome taste in music. I don't listen to that crap you listen to. Who could even stomach what you listen to anyway?"
"Hey man, I happen to like Limp Bizkit," Spinner defended before picking up the joint from the ash tray on the coffee table. As soon as the billowing flame came to contact with it, the heavy stench of marijuana engulfed the room. "Change the CD, man. Put on something that, you know, doesn't suck."
Emma could feel herself panicking slightly. Here she was, in a completely illegal situation. Every moral and belief she had was screaming at her to just storm out of here at this second. But, it felt so content in here. The music was almost singing a secret lullaby just for her. Even though the smell was becoming more potent, it didn't faze her in the least. Everything just seemed to be completely serene. It was the perfect escape from her home life which had been anything but serene. This seemed to be the remedy.
"Here," She heard a voice say to her while offering the joint to her. It looked so angelic between her slender fingers. She brought it to her lips before letting all of the toxins enter her body. They didn't feel like toxins in the least, but more like synthetic endorphins that were trapped within the rolling paper. The world seemed to sink into a foggy realm of tranquility. All that appeared to remain was David Bowie, the scarlet leather couch, and the sounds of Sully and Spinner arguing over music. Everything just seemed to melt right into place.
She was greeted with the uproar of gossip and idle chit chat as she pushed open the doors to the school. In her mind flashed the picture of various people gawking at her while soft yet vicious whispering radiated in the air near them. The events of Friday night were something she could remember clearly as if they were playing on a television in her mind. The plot of the television show baffled her as she watched it for the first time and couldn't make heads or tails of it. However, the show was interrupted by a commercial as a familiar voice called Emma's name.
"Emma," she spun around as the vision of JT running towards her filled her eyes. She stopped in her tracks, letting him catch up to her. "I'm sorry about Friday night. If it makes you feel any better, the senorita known as Hillary Jones rejected my mating call. Oh well, I'm still on the prowl." He ran a hand through his hair as he waited for Emma's response.
She smiled vaguely yet reassuring, "It's okay. How was the rest of your weekend?"
JT looked at her while cocking an eyebrow while silently asking a question. She responded with the raising of her eyebrow as she inquired about what in the world he seemed to be talking about. She certainly wasn't any mind reader albeit she did have more intelligence than that of a toaster oven.
"Don't even think you're getting off that easily," said JT, catching Emma well off guard. "I know what happened at that party, in the backyard. And while it gives me the heebie jeebies, it also causes me to question whether or not the apocalypse is near."
Her response for now was to simply roll her eyes. Of course, JT had to make a joke out of the whole thing. His life seemed like that of a circus clown, always making everyone laugh and extracting the fun qualities from life to live off of. Fun and jokes were his nutrient. However, at a time where Emma was completely numb to emotions in general, so his sarcasm vexed her greatly.
"He kissed me," Emma replied simply as if she were robotically programmed to do so. "I don't know why and I probably don't want to know. I just wish you were the only one who knew about it."
"I'm not a genie, Em, so you really can't wish other that people didn't know," JT grimaced while fearing the wrath of Emma. Of course, he should have expected that the wrath of Emma had been captured in the lost valley of emotions. "Great, just great," Emma sighed heavily as the bricks fell upon her. This just seemed to be another chapter in the book about why Mondays were the work of the devil himself. She opened her locker with JT adorning the right side of her as she meticuosly placed an assortment of school supplies on the shelves. JT continued to babble on about what he considered the signs of the apocalypse. Of course, each reason was followed by a comedic antidote. If the circumstances, she would have added a giggle in the appropriate places. However, she had no motivation to do anything besides wait for each day to end and dread for the beginning of a new one.
"So, do you have any plans to avoid the wrath of Paige," JT questioned curiously as Emma pulled her notebooks out. "I mean, she's a pretty happening lady, but you do not want to see her mad. It's not pretty."
Emma sent him a quasi-glare before uttering, "Thanks for that positive note and for reinforcing the reasons why I shouldn't have even bothered with coming to school today." She groaned, rather aggravated. "Why do I even bother?"
JT raised an eyebrow before going into a chant, "C'mon, Em! You got to be aggressive! Be aggressive!" He examined the blank expression on her face before letting out his own sigh. "Laugh for me, please? You have a nice laugh."
There was simply no way she was to admit why there was no laughter escaping from her. That would involve including the fact that she was depressed over the current situation of her life. Instead, she decided to be rather apathetic towards it all. It masked the possibility of her having to deal with the vast pain bottling up inside. She just hoped that would be another way to keep the cork on the bottle for a while. The whole being avoidant deal ended with some realizing that you were doing just that. She needed to be an adaptive chameleon. However, there was the minute risk that a predator would come along and discover her.
"Hey guys," a feminine voice chirped happily. A feeling of relief came over Emma when the realization that it was Paige never occurred. However, it was Manny, who was probably there just to toy with JT. Or so Emma thought. "Can you believe that they're keeping that Media Immersion sub we've had? I really didn't like her; I mean she's so—"
"Manny," JT said pointedly as a way of attempting to pull a blanket over Emma and shield her from everything that Manny had subtly pointed out. "I mean, um, what was the science homework?"
As the conversation drifted off into the land of homework and shameless flirting, Emma couldn't help but feeling nauseous at the sight. The overwhelming happiness created a knot in her stomach. In the depths of her melodramatic mind, she wanted everyone to apathetic and unable to deal with emotions like she was. However, that was not the case. The wanting of even being content penetrated her heart. This wanting and needing didn't coincide well with her new apathetic outlook.
As the conversation between Manny and JT raged on, Emma decided to casually slip away. They seemed too involved in their conversation to notice her departure. Or if they did, they pulled some excuse out of the air instead of actually taking the brain power to figure out what was wrong. Besides, apathetic little Emma wouldn't be a wanted asset in a conversation of cheerfulness and laughter.
Apathetic. Washed up. Tired. There was no life left in the canvas. All of the colorful patches had faded as knowledge was abundant. There wasn't beauty behind anything anymore. All hope had come crashing down into jagged pieces that could never be assembled ever again. The only things that remained were the memories of a virgin's suicide inflicted by life.
Emma had been tossed out of her trance as the sounds of fighting picked her up and threw her down. Her senses slowly became alert to what was going on. Every aspect of the situation was observed.
"Gavin Reginald Mason," a female voice screeched. It was the voice of the one she had silently feared. The situation involved her. However, she was not the culprit. She was not Spinner's puppeteer. She was just Emma Nelson. She was just a product of a teenage pregnancy. She was just trying to figure out what in heaven's name was going on. When you're apathetic for so long, the highway of the high school social life is a road you don't want to venture onto.
"Paige, I'm sorry," Emma heard Spinner's voice pleading. "I just...I don't know why that happened. I don't know why!"
The embers of Paige ignited once more before she sobbed, "Oh, well, you should have thought of a reason before you kissed her! What were you thinking?! Spin, sometimes I don't get you! I don't know what's going on inside of your head! Ugh, so this is how it's ending."
Emma watched as a confused expression crawled up Spinner's face. "Dude, hold on! I said I was sorry. I mean, but of course I can't mess up or Paige will freak because everything's not going her way! It's Paige's way or the highway."
"So, hon, you proved your point by cheating on me with a boring and anal retentive environmentalist," Paige crossed her arms against her chest. A fence was being built up. The fence kept the pain from entering or leaving. "Way to go, Spin. Way to mess up our superb relationship. By the way, have fun with your little girlfriend. Oh look and here she is to share your joy of wrecking our relationship!"
Paige trudged away with Hazel who had been waiting for her friend at a nearby locker. They, of course, brushed against Emma to somehow prove a point. It was as if the brushing of their shoulders briskly against hers was to place the blame on her. Of course, the details weren't important. Only the vague ideas of it all were important. The ideas that would be passed through the snippy whispers of the Degrassi student body. However, the gossip flew over Emma's head as it slinked into oblivion. There was no reason to care about the ridiculous gossip and slander that crept through the halls of Degrassi. In the end, none of that mattered. Nothing seemed to matter.
"Hey, Nelson," Spinner turned towards Emma. "Dude, I'm sorry if you heard what Paige said. Girls are like, PMSing and stuff."
Emma rolled her eyes, "If you haven't noticed, I'm a girl." Of course, her tone indicated that Spinner was a complete idiot. He was an idiot floating about in the realm of solitude. He and Jimmy had been gradually separating like a cell during mitosis. They were still on relative speaking terms. However, high school pulled you part. Yet again, Emma wasn't an expert on the social life of Spinner. All she knew was that two actors had dropped out. She didn't know where she would find the others.
"Right," Spinner nodded with a glazed expression. "So, dude, are you okay? You seemed really down on Friday."
Emma groaned, "Why do you care? You don't even know anything about me. You don't even know whether or not everything's okay." She started walking away, abandoning the situation. Here she was, walking away from Spinner when he had tried to get an answer out of her. Oh, the irony. The same exact situation had unfolded only two years ago, only this time there was a role reversal.
"I know more than you think," Spinner insisted. "Your name is Emma Nelson; you live on 901 Cherry Brook Road. Your phone number is 551-3109 and this is all I got from your learner's permit which you left in Kwan's room on Friday." He fished through his pocket while finding miscellaneous other items that did not resemble a learner's permit in the least. He caught up to her and handed it over to her. Emma took the permit before stuffing it into the sea of her denim jean pocket.
"Thanks," She replied monotonously. "Well, I should get to homeroom."
"Dude, no one deserves to be all...blah like you've been," Spinner sighed. "You walk around like you're some kind of robot."
Was he the only one had noticed? It was Spinner. Maybe he wasn't an idiotic sexist pig like she had perceived him out to be. Or maybe she could be living in the land where she got the foolish concept that Spinner was the only one that could possibly understand her. When the rest of the world faded into their own selfish pleasures, there was Spinner, looking for another bottle of cheese whiz to down.
"Like right now," He pointed out before waving a hand in front of her face. "Man, you were just like this on Friday night. Smile, Paige says it doesn't cause wrinkles or some crap like that."
Emma rolled her eyes once more, "Yeah, thanks for the beauty tip, Spinner. I really should get to homeroom. But first, I think I should apologize for being rather insulting to you on Friday night. I'm sorry."
Here she was, apologizing to Spinner. She couldn't explain why. There seemed to be no reasons to explain anything anymore, unless it was point blank in front of you. However, this was a bit to the side, so the interpretations weren't likely to be valid.
"Yeah, well, it's okay," Spinner sighed. "I mean, that was like the least of my worries. I deal though, dude. It's not a big deal."
A flame flickered within Emma. It signaled the slightest bit of life. A characteristic of hers that made her who she was started slowly emerging to the surface. However, it was probably one of her least desirable qualities. It was probably one of her malign ones as well.
She spoke with a great deal of curiosity, "Just how do you deal?"
"Uh, look! The bell is gonna ring," He chimed abruptly. "Hey man, meet me after school. Later, Nelson!"
His departure was abrupt, but a sense of finding solace was imbedded within Emma. If only there was some way to will away the pain from every surfacing. There was too much to deal with as is and emotional pain being a side note didn't help in the least bit. She wanted just to take a temporary yet extended break from it all. She just wanted too much than she could have. There in lied one of the many imbedded problems. A break like that could do her a world of good.
As the day went along, it was just another monotonous Monday. The only difference was the whispering that filtered through the air around her. She ignored it, because that's what listless people do best. All she did besides go through the motions of a typical Monday at school was yearn and contemplated. She yearned for the solace she so desperately needed. She yearned for the day to reach its end. She contemplated about Spinner and all of things that were Spinner related. She was intrigued by him and that was all it amounted to. He wasn't her type in the least, though she didn't begin to fathom about what her type might be.
The day ended with relief for Emma. All of those feelings that she wanted so desperately to be fulfilled had the possibility of doing so. There was so much going on and so much opportunity. There seemed to be no dark side of the moon even though the moon had been all dark for the longest time.
There was no waiting for Spinner, however, as Emma spotted him rushing to god knows where. He could have been playing with her mind, just like all of the others had. Everyone wanted to pull her in so many directions as they continued to roll the die and decide how to do so. There was just so much. There was just too much. There was an oppression that had yet to subside. However the oppression was obscured by the curiosity. The curiosity made her feel alive. She no longer felt like a robot as Spinner so delicately had put it.
As Spinner raced to his destination, Emma trailed after him. Of course, she wasn't stalking him in the least. She was stalking the craving that came along with Spinner and his two for one deal. The bricks along the wall were the same for Spinner as they were for Emma as they were passed. Every crack in the sidewalk was the same for the two. Perhaps the pain they shared was the same. Emma knew it was improbable and one half screamed at her asking her why she was even bothering. There was no silencer to stop it, however there was that empty wrenching feeling tearing away at her stomach. That needed to go away as did that voice in the back of her head. Everything and everyone just needed to go away.
He slinked away into an upscale brick house, which Emma recognized as not being the Mason residence. She had been there on the occasion when Kendra had invited her over but that was long ago. That was back in the time of naïve bliss that had gotten buried under the ocean tide. However, it was certain that things would change in someway. It was the evolution of life.
She hopped up the steps, still high on curiosity. The brisk warm air flowed around her as her finger slipped against the doorbell and caused a sound to ring throughout. Then came the sound of footsteps while Emma anticipated seeing who it was.
"Whoa, are you lost," a male voice asked as the door swung open. "Sorry, but the environmentalist anonymous meeting is at the corner of go and away. Now, goodbye!" As the door was about to slam shut, another voice from within the house spoke up.
"Sully, who the hell is at the door," the deep voice asked, slightly annoyed. "Fine, I'll see for myself."
Emma's eyes involuntarily widened when she saw the image of Spinner complete with bloodshot eyes and not particularly looking too attentive. It took a moment for her mind to make the connections necessary to come up with a valid inference regarding the situation at hand. It all seemed so calculated and scientific. If only the rest of life was easy to explain. However, it was a painting that had various interpretations of it. However, none of the interpretations were incorrect but neither were they correct.
"Whoa, Nelson," Spinner laughed while taking a minute to gaze at the blonde. "How did you find me, dude? I mean, I didn't tell you where I was going or anything. Are you stalking me?" He paused for a moment while Emma stared at him. "Oh, snap! I was supposed to meet you somewhere."
"Are you okay," Emma asked with the raise of an eyebrow.
Sully laughed heartily, "Of course he's okay! Now, why don't you run along and do whatever it is you environmentalist hippies do?"
It was completely apparent to Emma that she was not wanted here. However, that seemed to be the case lately. No one particularly wanted depressed little Emma raining on their splendiferous parade. What was she supposed to do though? Was she supposed to forget that her step dad died? Was she supposed to forget how completely distraught her mother was? If she could, then that would have been heaven sent.
"I'll be leaving now," Emma rolled her eyes before turning swiftly around and departing from the porch steps which she had ascended a moment ago. This was such a mistake, trying to have Spinner help her. That was such a laughable thought. Spinner couldn't even help himself. What was Spinner, besides a disgusting dim sexist pig? Nothing, it seemed.
"Nelson, wait up," an incredibly familiar voice yelled as she continued to shuffle away. "Dude, Sully's an ass." She twirled around and was almost face to face with Spinner, considering he had a good few inches on her. "Just forget him and come back."
The situation was incredibly surreal to Emma. Since when did Spinner want her around? She didn't have any free food on her, so what in the world did he want? But what did anyone want?
"And you want me to come back, why," Emma asked with a scoff. "Spinner, what is with you? Normally, you couldn't stand the sight of me and now you're begging me to come back?" She crossed her arms against her chest trying to build a barricade between her and the messy haired blonde that stood in front of her.
"It's just," He trailed off with a soft sigh. "You've been so...not up. I mean, it's like you're in this pit of doom. It's kind of sad, I guess. No one should be feeling that down."
Oh and what did he know about her life? What did anyone know? Probably not much, considering she didn't place the daily events of her life on a billboard for all of Degrassi to see.
"Spinner, what do you know about me," Emma asked bitterly. "Besides, of course, nothing at all."
He raised an eyebrow at her, as if questioning her intelligence right about now. She, of course, figured that he knew nothing about her, besides that he used to tease her mercilessly when she began junior high. Oh, and he had practically ruined her science project while he had claimed that she had ruined his life. To this day, she couldn't even fathom why she supposedly did.
"Dude, you honestly want to know what I know about you," He started with a chuckle. "Just...let me think about it for a moment." He stroked his chin thoughtfully as he stared up at the cloudy sky as if the answers were written above in a neat scrawl.
"Thought of anything yet," Emma asked impatiently.
"Here's what I've got," Spinner started. "You're Emma Nelson, who is in my grade ten English class because...yeah, you know. You've obviously had a completely sucky year because you always look like you got ran over by a mack truck. Ha, mack truck." He let out a hearty chuckle before going on. "Dude, don't you want to be happy?"
Was she a book waiting to be cracked open in read? Emma felt herself being examined under this microscope. Even though he was being just Spinner, it felt almost as though he had known her so well. He had read through every chapter diligently even after his attention span ceased to exist. Maybe she was just plugging her false hope into the equation. There was some sign of land and she was going to try till she could try no more to reach the land.
"Yeah," Emma stated as though it was doodled all over he forehead. "Who wouldn't want to be happy, huh?"
"Now you're getting it, man," Spinner nodded in approval. "Now you're getting it, you're really getting it."
Before she knew it, she trailed behind Spinner as they entered the elaborate house. The sounds of David Bowie filtered throughout as Spinner glanced at Sully, whose head was swaying back and forth along with the enchanting melody.
"And you're listening to this, why," Spinner questioned before flopping onto the leather sofa near the recliner where Sully was sitting in solitude. It seemed as though he was sinking into the sofa to Emma as she sat down beside him, feeling the texture of the soft leather with her fingertips. The music dispensing out of the stereo was enjoyable to her while the commanding of dancing from David Bowie relaxed every stressed cell in her body.
"Because it's the shit," Sully retorted. "Hey man, I have an awesome taste in music. I don't listen to that crap you listen to. Who could even stomach what you listen to anyway?"
"Hey man, I happen to like Limp Bizkit," Spinner defended before picking up the joint from the ash tray on the coffee table. As soon as the billowing flame came to contact with it, the heavy stench of marijuana engulfed the room. "Change the CD, man. Put on something that, you know, doesn't suck."
Emma could feel herself panicking slightly. Here she was, in a completely illegal situation. Every moral and belief she had was screaming at her to just storm out of here at this second. But, it felt so content in here. The music was almost singing a secret lullaby just for her. Even though the smell was becoming more potent, it didn't faze her in the least. Everything just seemed to be completely serene. It was the perfect escape from her home life which had been anything but serene. This seemed to be the remedy.
"Here," She heard a voice say to her while offering the joint to her. It looked so angelic between her slender fingers. She brought it to her lips before letting all of the toxins enter her body. They didn't feel like toxins in the least, but more like synthetic endorphins that were trapped within the rolling paper. The world seemed to sink into a foggy realm of tranquility. All that appeared to remain was David Bowie, the scarlet leather couch, and the sounds of Sully and Spinner arguing over music. Everything just seemed to melt right into place.