That night Susie couldn't sleep. She just kept thinking about the kiss, Jonesy and Donna and the mess she had become a part of. She felt so guilty about kissing Jonesy when he was with another woman. She didn't like Donna, to say the least, but she didn't want to steal her boyfriend away either. She only wanted Jonesy if it wasn't going to hurt anyone else. Regardless of Donna's faults she really did care for him, she didn't want to be the other woman. But when he kissed her...it just felt...amazing. That's why she kissed him back, she just couldn't resist. Her feelings for him were so deep that when they finally came to be in the position she had been dreaming of for months it was hard not to get swept away. But you shouldn't have Susie, her conscience told her, it was wrong. No more Jonesy until he sorts out the thing with Donna.

Knock knock.

Susie got up and padded over to the door.

"Jonesy," she blushed, embarrassed that she had been thinking about him.

"Suse," he murmured. "Can I come in?"

"I really don't think that is such a good..."

"Please," he looked at her, pleading.

"Okay," she caved in.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened in the car today," he blurted out.

"You should be. Donna..." Susie began, before Jonesy cut her off.

"Don't worry about Donna. I'm worried about you," he looked at her.

"Me?" she asked, sitting down on the bed and putting her face in her hands.

"Yeah, you," he said as he sat down next to her.

"Jonesy, I really don't think you should be sitting down right there," she said.

"Why?" he smiled cheekily. When he saw the serious look on Susie's face his smile faded. "See Suse, this is why I'm worried about you. Your not happy anymore...I never see you smile."

"That's because I'm in love with you and your sleeping with someone else right across the hallway," she blurted out, immediately regretting it.

"You love me?" he looked at her tenderly.

"I...i...look, we can't do this okay," she mumbled unconvincingly. Jonesy leaned forward to kiss her but she moved her head. "Jonesy, you aren't listening to what I'm saying here."

"Suse, your not listening to your body.?" he said.

"My body?" she asked, taken aback.

"Mine is telling me to kiss you right here and right now. And that," he paused. "That...is exactly what I'm gonna do."

At that moment Jonesy leaned in and kissed her. Susie closed her eyes and kissed him back, hard. She wished this moment could last forever and all the problems in the world would go away. The moment didn't last long because Jonesy had other ideas, but he certainly made her forget all her problems... well he was a good distraction.

Jonesy pulled her pyjama top over her head and ran his hands up and down her back. She closed her eyes as he stroked her stomach and before she knew it they'd both lost all their clothes. Jonesy pushed her backwards on the bed and, although she felt guilty, she didn't resist. This was the moment she had been waiting for. But as she hugged Jonesy to her for their first time together all she could do was look past his shoulder and up to the ceiling, the moment was soured with guilt and disappointment.

Susie woke at 6am, just as the sunshine was beginning to filter through her Venetian blinds. She turned over to where he had been, her mind already told her he wouldn't be there but her heart was still hoping. She moved over to the other side of her double bed and lay where he had lay some hours before. She didn't feel happy. Although the sex was good it was based on lust, she knew that. She needed to wake up with him there beside her. She needed him to kiss her and tell her he didn't regret it and that he only wanted her. But he was back across the hallway next to Donna, who didn't know he'd ever left. So close yet so far away.

Susie had a shower to clear her head. When she came back to get her underwear she noticed something small on the ground near her bed. A condom wrapper. Now who carries one of those around in their pyjamas just in case? Someone who wanted to be extra careful...or someone who came over with the sole intention of sleeping with her? She felt sick.

When Susie arrived at the station she avoided Jonesy's eye contact and headed straight for the locker room. She shut the door behind her but Jonesy didn't take the hint because he followed her in immediately.

"Suse," he smiled, leaning in to kiss her. "What?" Susie held up the condom wrapper she had shoved in her pocked. "What can I say...I'm a responsible kinda guy." His smile faded when he saw her expression. "Suse, what is it?"

"You..." she pointed at him, feeling her voice falter. "You came over last night just so you could sleep with me."

"I..."

"How dare you manipulate my feelings just to get something from me. I mean...I just can't believe you. I really cared about you and...now you're playing both me and Donna...I just..." she began to cry. She hastily wiped her face and looked at the floor.

"Suse," he whispered. "Susie, you know I wouldn't do that to you. I care about you...you love me and..."

"No Jonesy, I said I was in love with...not that I love you love you..." she snapped.

"What's the difference?" he asked, puzzled.

"The difference is that I have feelings I can't control and you used them to manipulate me. To say 'I love you' is to commit to someone your heart and soul. And trust me that's the last thing I'd think of saying to you right now."

"Susie, I don't know what to say..." he began.

"Well I do," she said, looking up. "I say, get out!"