There's... a Voice inside My Head
Chapter Three
"I never knew how graceful you were, Ruwalk," Alfeegi choked down the laughter.
"Ruwalk? Did you see Rath? He's a regular ballerina!" Kai-stern broke out in hysterics.
"SHUT UP!" Rath shouted, a mad blush rising on his cheeks.
"Relax, Rath," Ruwalk sighed. "All humiliation passes in time."
"Well... I'm sorry, Ruwalk, but I don't think this is going to go away anytime soon," Lykouleon giggled.
Ruwalk stared crossly at the three men standing by the doorway. "Well, Rath, I'm completely embarrassed. What about you?"
"Way past that," Rath answered.
"Ru-san... can I talk?"
"Why do you have to talk through me?"
"Rath, can I talk through you?"
"No way in hell," Rath growled.
"That's why, Ru-san."
"Well, no way am I letting you take over me again. You made me dance a girl's part."
"Aw, come on Ru-san!"
"NO!"
"Ru-san!"
"NO!"
"THAT'S IT!"
Ruwalk Illuser forcefully took over his mind. "Hi people," she giggled.
Alfeegi stared. Lykouleon stared. Kai-stern stared.
"What's wrong, people? Haven't you ever heard the voice of a little girl coming from a full-grown man's mouth?"
"Um... are you... the girl they keep hearing?" Alfeegi asked.
"Damn straight!" she forced an ear-to-ear grin on Ruwalk's face.
"Well... what do we call you?" Kai-stern blinked.
"Well, they call me Ruwalk Illuser. Anyone else got a better name for me?"
"Um... can't think of a thing," Alfeegi responded.
"Madison Elizabeth Ursula Jessica Zoe Catherine Sara Hannah Kristina Felicity Gina Laura Amber Bethany Lena Isabel Tiffany Amelia Yadira Xylina Natalie Diana Rachel Vikki Oprah Patricia Quinn-Wesley(1)?" Kai-stern offered.
"What the hell?" Ruwalk Illuser blinked.
"Never mind," Kai-stern sweatdropped.
"How about... High Fructose Corn Syrup?" Lykouleon smirked.
Everyone stared.
"Um... I once read it on a coke bottle?" he answered the unasked question.
"Well, aren't you the little genius?" Ruwalk Illuser rolled Ruwalk's eyes (that sounds weird don't it?).
"How dare you speak to the Lord in such a manner!" Alfeegi yelled.
"Hey, you can't hurt me - I'm a figment of the imagination. What can you do about it?"
"Well, I-- uh--I c--," Alfeegi stammered.
"Uh-huh. Just as I thought. NOTHING!"
"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!"
"Uh-oh... Alfeegi's on class two rage level!" Kai-stern backed away.
"Well, this is boring so I think I'll go back into the subconscious and rest for a bit. Bye," Ruwalk Illuser released her control on Ruwalk.
"Oh shit, she did it again, didn't she?" Ruwalk asked, mouth agape, as he stared at an extremely pissed off Alfeegi.
"DAMN STRAIGHT SHE DID!!!" Alfeegi yelled loud enough to have broken someone's eardrums but he fortunately did not. "Come with me Ruwalk," he walked over and snatched Ruwalk's hand in a death grip before heading for the door.
"Where are we going?"
"To try and kill that damn girl by killing brain cells!"
"And how are we doing that?" Ruwalk asked nervously.
"The most humane way there is - with booze!"
"You're going to force me to drink liquor?"
"Yes."
"Okay but it isn't going to work..."
"WHY NOT!?!"
"Ow...," Ruwalk rubbed his one ear with his spare hand. "Because... Ruwalk Illuser is both a figment of my imagination and Rath's imagination. The only way to get rid of her is to wipe her out of both of our minds."
"I can do that!" Alfeegi stated angrily as he pulled a two-by-four out of nowhere.
"GAAH! GET AWAY!" Ruwalk pulled his hand from Alfeegi's grip and ran like hell.
"Alfeegi, you can't go around randomly giving Dragon tribe members major head trauma!" Kai-stern argued as he caught the Officer of White in a headlock.
"But we need to get rid of her!" Alfeegi struggled.
"Maybe she'll just fade out like a passing dream!" Kai-stern offered, trying to get Alfeegi to drop the piece of wood he held.
"I don't want this dream to pass of its own accord! I want to tear it to shreds until nothing's left!" Alfeegi screeched. He suddenly paused, blinking,"Hey, what happened to my two-by-four?"
"It was a security hazard so I threw it away," the new voice in the room said, causing all to jump.
"Oh, hello Tetheus," Kai-stern grunted, now trying to hold Alfeegi back from Tetheus.
"Why'd you have to throw it away!? I NEEDED THAT!!!"
"I told you already - it was a security risk," Tetheus looked Alfeegi in the eyes, frightening him a bit.
"OH BUT THE SWORD AND OTHER MAJOR WEAPONRY ALL AROUND THIS PALACE ARE NOT?!" Alfeegi yelled, regaining his confidence.
"Well, I don't see any of the other weaponry in the hands of a homicidal maniac," Tetheus was about to end his sentence when he remembered that Rath had a sword, "who is out to hurt a Dragon tribe member."
"This is so unfair!" Alfeegi cried.
1 Did I forget any letters of the alphabet in this name? Hm... Amber... Bethany... Catherine... nope. I even doubled a few...