Cào – fuck (screw)

All grammatical and spelling errors are intentional in keeping with the characters.

Disclaimer: not mine, just playing with em and putting them back. Kelvin Horn is a character of mine and is only a bit more educated then Jayne

Pairing: Rayne implied

Correspondence - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

I don't know about Mal. He's got a wife and what do I get? A gorram rainstick. Cào. Ain't like Mal wants her. I offered Vera in exchange, but in afterthought, yeah afterthought, I used a big word got a problem with that? AS I WAS SAYING, I think I was crazy to offer any kind of deal with Vera. She's gotten me out of more messes and far more reliable and hey she is damn purty. However she can't give a man more basic needs, like cook his food and lay with him. Now that I think more about it that, um what did they call her, oh yeah right, Saffron, she ain't really all my type. Hell she makes River seem a hell lot more purty, specially when she ain't all moon brained. Why is all suddenly I'm thinking about her. This ain't no good.

Correspondence Return – Backwater (new colonization)

Kelvin Horn

Hey buddy got me pretty confused here. Who's this Saffron and River? Which one is married to who? By the way you been talking seems you be pretty hung up on that gal River. Sure hope she's not the one the Captain is married to for your sake. You ok? Ya seem pretty down, if its this whole wife thing. Why don't you do what I just went ahead and did and order yourself up one of those lovelies? I just did.

Correspondence Return - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

Er... um, you ordered a Wife?

Correspondence Return – Backwater (new colonization)

Kelvin Horn

Yeah, since there isn't many womenfolk here as you well know is a new colony, my options are extremly limited. Hoping she's pretty, she's a little petite, with brown eyes, black hair, called Geena. So you never mentioned who is Saffron and River?

Correspondence Return - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

Saffron is the Captain's wife. She appears all shy and not knowing, I dunno about her. Ain't seen many her kind that are who they appear to be.

Correspondence Return – Backwater (new colonization)

Kelvin Horn

Ok that explains Saffron, but you keep avoiding River. What's up with her that you won't talk about her?

Correspondence Return - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

So this wife of yours, that's coming, she going to work too or just do all the wifey things?

Correspondence Return – Backwater (new colonization)

Kelvin Horn

Buddy, you keep avoiding the pertinant question? Who the ruttin' hell is River? And in answer to your question, she gonna help me in the fields till our kids come along, then she got to be taking care of them.

Correspondence Return - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

You ordered kids too?

Correspondence Return – Backwater (new colonization)

Kelvin Horn

No! Well I suppose you could. I meant you know when me and Geena, You know. You're still avoiding the question.

Correspondence Return - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

Don't you mean Geena and I?

Correspondence Return – Backwater (new colonization)

Kelvin Horn

What do you mean Geena and you? What have you done with her? I'll... Oh wait your correcting my grammer. Which right now sitting her thinking of it, you haven't had a lot of schooling and you're going to correct my grammer? C'mon you been stalling enough.

Who

The

Ruttin

Hell

IS

River

Correspondence Return - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

Captain will get a might upset as I shoulda never said anything about her to ya. He'll space me if he ever were to find out I told ya.

Correspondence Return – Backwater (new colonization)

Kelvin Horn

I ain't going to tell him. Hey its me you're talking to. You know I'm not going to tell anyone.

Correspondence Return - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

I know man, its just when it comes to her, I just am careful. River, ah hell ya know I ain't much good with words. She's special. So incredibly frustrating one minute and the next she can make ya ferget that you were even mad at her. She's a bit moon brained, ok a lot moonbrained, but in some ways it does makes sense.

Correspondence Return – Backwater (new colonization)

Kelvin Horn

You sure you two aren't married already? You seem pretty taken with her.

Correspondence Return - NAME HAS BEEN MADE UNAVAILABLE

The Man They Call Jayne

Nah, hell I'd be skinned alive if I even looked at her. It just ain't gonna happen.

A/N I live for feedback every once in a great while, how about tossing this dog a bone? Let me know if I should continue this.