Kenny laid back in his hospital bed, and just stared up at the ceiling. What am I doing, he thought, how can I do this? This waiting is killing me. With all of that blood they took out . . . shouldn't they know something by now? I want out of this hospital. I'd give anything to go back a few days, and just be lying in bed with Max. Planning our life together, although I didn't even get to tell her any of it yet. Max. What am I going to do about Max?

"Knock, knock," Jill called rapping on the doorframe, as she and Joey came into the room. "How are you this morning?"

"You tell me."

"Where is everybody?" Joey asked, looking around the empty room. "I thought Max was living here. Not to mention your parents."

Kenny shrugged. "They got hungry. What is it?"

"Okay," Jill replied with a nod. "The biopsy showed that the tumor was malignant. We've scheduled a series of radiation treatments starting tomorrow."

Kenny swallowed, and wanted the whole world to disappear around him. This is it, he thought, I have cancer. How can I have cancer? This isn't happening. "Uh, so what happens next? Radiation? What does it do?"

"It shrinks the tumor, to put it simply," Jill offered. "When we couple that with chemotherapy, it increases the effectiveness of it all."

"Okay," he agreed distantly, as he tried to process it all.

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"I didn't think we would meet this way," Carol Lacos said, shaking her head. "Kenny has talked about you more then any other women . . . not that he ever said a lot about his love life anyway. My poor boy . . . why is this happening to him?"

"I don't know," Max replied, swirling her cold coffee in her cup. "He's a fighter though, and he'll beat this."

"God never gives anyone more then they can handle," Tom Lacos replied quietly. "It's part of his plan."

Plan, Max thought, how is this part of some great plan? They didn't see him that night. Why can't we go back a few weeks when everything was wonderful?

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Kenny laid back against the cool sheets, and contemplated what to do next. What can I do, he thought, really? I don't want them all to see me like this.

"Hi," Max called softly, knocking on the doorframe. "Um, I wasn't sure if you were awake."

"I haven't been getting much sleep," he replied. "Neither have you."

"Don't worry about me."

Kenny paused, and just looked at her for a minute. This isn't fair, he thought, not to her. She's only 29, and doesn't deserve to go through this just because I do. "Where are my parents?"

"With Jill and Joey," she replied, not liking the way he was looking at her. "Are you okay?"

"What do you think?"

Max bit her tongue at his hostility, and tried to remind herself that he was going through something traumatic. "I guess it was a dumb question."

"It's malignant. I start radiation and chemo tomorrow."

"Oh Kenny," she said softly, trying to gulp back her own shock and fear. "It doesn't mean . . . I don't know what to say."

"Then don't. Just go."

"You want me to leave?"

"You shouldn't be here. I've got my parents, so just get out. I don't need you."

Max swallowed, knowing what he was trying to do. "Can you at least look at me when you tell me that? Look at me Kenny."

He turned his head toward her, and just drank her in. Clad in jeans, a tee-shirt, flip flops, and her hair loose around her shoulders, she never looked better to him. The picture of health, he thought, and she has her whole life in front of her.

"Get out," he repeated, steeling himself against the pain he saw in her eyes. "Now."

"You may not need me," she said softly, trying to control the wobble in her voice. "But I need you. I love you . . . Don't shut me out because you're afraid. I know you too well to let you do that."

"Max," he said, feeling the wall he put up start to crumble. "You don't have to do this with me. I don't . . ."

"You don't what?"

"I don't want you to see me like this."

"Oh?"

"Why would you want to?" he continued, unable to stop the words from flowing. "What good will it do? Why would you want too?"

"I love you," she repeated, squeezing his hand in hers. "You've saved my life more times then I can remember. I don't know anything about cancer, but . . . let me help you. I don't how, but . . . I'm here. I'll always be here."

"I don't want to hurt you," he managed to choke out, as he tugged her down closer to him. "I'm so scared Max. Of dying. Losing you. Not being able to live out all of the plans I made for us."

"You're not going to die," she replied firmly. "You haven't even started treatment yet. Let's not jump the gun."

"I'm scared," he repeated, as he held her close to his chest.

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"You worked late," Jimmy noted, as Jill came in the kitchen door. "How is Kenny doing?"

"You were welcome to come by," Jill replied, tossing her purse on the table.

"I'm down two deputies at the moment," he retorted. "And Skeeter found a body alongside the road today. I was busy."

"Kenny's tumor is malignant. He starts radiation tomorrow," Jill replied flatly. "Are the kids in bed?"

"Yeah. Even Kim turned in for the night. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Did I do something?"

"No! You never do anything. When was the last time we actually sat down and talked about something other then work or the kids? You didn't even call me the night that Kenny had the seizure! You just ran off to the hospital to sit with Max! Are your deputies more important to you then me?"

"What the hell are you talking about? It was the middle of the night, and I didn't want to wake you up!"

"Is that all? Are you even interested in my day at all anymore? Your first question to me tonight was about Kenny? Am I that uninteresting?"

"Jill you're being ridiculous!"

"Ridiculous? We haven't had sex in three months! Do I repulse you too?"

"Jill!"

"Forget it. I'm going to bed."

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"It's a good look," Max said the next morning before Kenny went in for his radiation.

Kenny ran his hand over his newly shaved head. "I guess so. Rather me then the drugs. It'll grow back."

Max smiled at him, as he squeezed her hand in his. "Yeah it will . . . Hi Joey."

"Hello you two. It's that time."

"Okay," Kenny agreed, shooting one more look over at Max. "I'm ready."

"We'll be back soon," Joey promised, seeing the worried look on the younger woman's face. "Are you going to wait?"

Max nodded, knowing she had to go back to work at some point soon. "Yeah."

"Good. Jill wanted to talk to you anyway."

"Okay," Max replied, not sure what else to say. "Um, good luck."

Don't cry, she told herself, as he was wheeled out. It'll just make everything worse. Collapsing down in the chair next to the bed, she buried her head in her hands to block out the world around her.

"Max? Are you okay?"

Lifting her head slightly. "Hi. What are you doing here? I thought that you had a murder to investigate."

"I'm on my way in," Jimmy verified. "I just wanted to check up on Kenny. You too."

"He just went to his first radiation treatment," Max replied, forcing herself to swallow back her fear. "He's doing okay though."

"And you?"

"I've been better."

Jimmy regarded the woman he thought of like a daughter carefully before replying. "It's okay to be scared Max. It's a normal reaction to all of this."

"I know . . . I just don't want to fall apart in front of him."

Jimmy caught the hitch in her voice, and the way she turned away from him. Catching the shimmer of tears in her eyes, he pulled her into his arms. "It'll be okay, Max."

"Oh, I don't want to interrupt," Jill said from the doorway, as she watched her husband wrapped around the younger woman. "Jimmy. I didn't know that you were coming by."

"Well you left early this morning," he countered, releasing Max. "And I thought I'd check up on Kenny. I missed him though."

"He started radiation," Jill replied, ignoring her jealously, as she turned to Max. "I wanted to talk to you as well. After the initial radiation and chemo Kenny will be able to go home. I know his parents can't stay here forever, and I doubt he wants them too. What do you plan on doing?"

"What do you mean? Won't the chemo and radiation get rid of the tumor? Then he'll be fine?" Max asked, feeling stupid. "Isn't that the point of all of this?"

"Nothing is definite, and he'll still be fairly weak after he is released," Jill continued. "There are going to be things you need to know."

"Like what?"

"Medications, symptoms, what to do if he has seizure," Jill trailed off. "I have some pamphlets for you too."

"Okay."

"He has six weeks of radiation and chemo to get through first," Jill continued. "But I suggest that you start reading. It's a lot to learn."

"I will," Max promised, as Jill turned away from them. "Thanks."

"I've got to get back to my rounds."

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I don't have anything left to throw up, Kenny thought, as he dry heaved over the toilet. There isn't anything left. Is this what it's going to be like now? I can't live like this.

"Are you doing okay in there?" a nurse called through the door.

"Fine," he gasped, trying to control the churning in his stomach. "Great for someone who wants to throw up everything he ever ate."

"Your parents are down the hall. Would you like me to go get them?"

"No! Not my girlfriend either. Just let them be for now."

"Okay."

Kenny rose slowly to his feet, as the nausea retreated. Pushing the door open slowly, he let the nurse lead him back to bed.

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"Maybe we should go away together," Jimmy suggested. "Just the two of us for a few days Jill. What do you say?"

"I can't get away now," she replied, looking up from her book. "And neither can you. There is too much going on."

"There is always a lot going on," Jimmy countered. "We need some time together. Look at us! We can't be civil for more then a minute."

"Then maybe we shouldn't be in the same room. What would you do if I wasn't here, Jimmy? I saw the way that you were holding her today. You never hold me like that."

"Who?"

"Who? Max! You were all over her."

"She was upset! Jill!"

"So you're not attracted to her? She is a beautiful young woman, Jimmy."

"She's young enough to be my daughter! In addition she and Kenny have been tethered together for the last six months!"

"You didn't answer my question. Or maybe you did after all."

"You're my wife Jill. I love you, even when you're driving me crazy. I'm going to bed. I can't take this any more."

"Fine. Go. Dream of her."