Disclaimer – JK owns them all!!! And lucky her. Plot © Sami-Lee 2000-2004

Ok, I'm going to try and really get this rolling again, but ff has been down as most of you probably know. I'll be very surprised if anyone reads this stuff, Harry is starting to get very bitchy and emotional, and it's probably going to start doing Draco some harm... you'll just have to wait and see...

This chapter has a higher rating due to some scenes being somewhat gross. If you have a vivid imagination, or are a bit squeamish, I suggest skipping the long part in italics and noting that Harry simply had a bad dream.

On with the story!

Harry spent that night sitting on his computer, surfing mindlessly through page after boring page on the internet. He looked down at his instant messenger, MSN, as someone logged in, he thought nothing of it until he noticed who it was. Their sign in name, 'Red', struck an odd chord in Harry's chest. It was Ron.

Do I talk to him? Harry asked himself. No. If he wants to talk to me, he'll talk to me. Harry starred at the screen, almost willing the little box to pop up, telling him he had received a PM from Ron. He stopped breathing when it did. He let his right hand move the mouse, ever so slowly, and click on the box.

So what's the deal with Malfoy, then?

He starred at it. He knew the statement was full of resentment and anger, but he was still glad that Ron had gotten over it enough to actually talk to him. Or type to him at least. Harry let himself breathe again, and placed his fingers over the keys, his mind calculating quickly, trying to come up with the right answer. He didn't want to lie to Ron, but he didn't want to hurt him anymore, either. So what did should he do? He sat there for a while longer, before typing the simplest thing he could come up with, which wasn't entirely he truth, but nor did it involve a lie.

We enjoy each other's company, that's why we've been spending so much time together.

Harry realised after he hit enter that Ron would certainly pick up on the fact that when Harry enjoyed someone's company, it meant he liked them, and it was also at that moment which Harry realised that he had once mentioned to Ron last year that he could see himself with Draco, and that he thought he liked him a little - he'd totally forgotten that incident, but now he remembered, he'd been dating Ron at the time, and it had caused an argument. He sighed inwardly, considering logging out and having a long bath in which he cold drown himself. Ron's answer flicked up, stopping him from going anywhere.

Why, Harry? Why are you doing this to me? You were my best friend, I loved you! We were so good together, what happened!?

Harry glared at the sentence, hoping maybe that if he glared hard enough the words would simply catch alight and burn to ashes. They didn't. They sat on the screen and glared back. He didn't have time for this.

Draco happened, Ron. And that's all there is to it.

And he logged out. He turned the computer off and left the room. He stopped and watched his phone on the way to the bathroom, daring it to ring so he could pick up the receiver only to hang it up again. It didn't ring. Harry went and ran himself a bath, but he didn't drown himself in his sorrows, he fell asleep and dreamt of Draco.

Draco walked along a low brick wall, laughing. Harry walked on the footpath below him, strutting along like he owned the whole world. Harry suddenly felt odd, he was actually watching himself, not walking along the pavement next to Draco.

Am I dead? He though. No, or I wouldn't be walking. What's going on? They continued on, past a Chinese restaurant, a bookstore, and Ron. Ron? He had walked right past them. Harry made to turn around but Ron had beaten him to it, he pushed Harry hard in the back. Harry stumbled, but didn't fall.

"What was that for?" He asked indignantly. Ron did nothing but snicker at him. Then he stopped, and he stood before Harry, simply looking at him. Harry looked back, Draco stepped over to where Harry had stopped and gently took him hand. Ron turned and abruptly walked out onto the road in front of a very large, very fast oncoming truck. Harry yelled out to him. Draco looked away. But Harry couldn't, he stared at what remained. A mess on the road. A mess, and a lot of blood.

Harry woke up and breathed in harshly, inhaling a mouth full of water as he did so. His wet hair was plastered to his forehead and his arms would barely support his weight. His heart was thudding so loudly behind his ears that he thought it might just jump out of his chest, whither and die. He grasped the edge of the bath and hauled himself out. He shakily dried himself off, roughly pulled on his boxer shorts and retreated to his room.

For the second time that week, Harry got no sleep. He lay and stared at his ceiling, he tried reading a book but it was no use, he couldn't concentrate. He though about ringing someone. But who? Hermione wouldn't have anything to do with him, Draco would get in trouble, hell, anyone would, Harry noted, as he looked at his clock and saw it was 3 am. How was he going to get through school the next day without seeing Ron? He wasn't. He'd have to see him.

Harry left the house early the next morning, he didn't want to catch the bus, he didn't want to see anyone, not even Seamus, not even Draco. He walked the full hour and a half to school, stopping only to get breakfast at McDonalds, avoiding anyone in a St Patrick's uniform. He trudged into the yr 10 corridor and came face to face with Draco.

"Hey Harry, how you feeling?" How did Draco know that something was up?

"Tired. If anything." Harry replied monotonically. Draco looked at him quizzically. "I need to talk to you." Harry grabbed his arm and pulled him into the nearby deserted stairwell. "I dreamt about Ron last night." Draco's features dropped.

"You like him again?" He looked at his shoes and didn't look up again when Harry stomped his feet.

"No." He rolled his eyes. "Let me start again. Last night when I was online, Ron came on and started asking me about us! So I said there was nothing going on. No, actually, I didn't lie to him, I more kind of just said we liked spending time together so we do, I think he go the hint and he went off telling me how much he loves me and shit, you know, the whole, 'what happened to us, Harry?' So I simply said you happened, and logged off." Draco looked at him with one eyebrow raised. Harry continued. "Then I had a bath, and I fell asleep. While I was asleep I dreamt that you and me were walking down the road and then we passed Ron and then he came back and shoved me and then you held my hand so he walked straight out in front of a truck!" Harry was almost yelling as he got to the end. He hadn't taken enough breath either, and was panting slightly. Draco stared at him.

"Are you ok? I'd say it was just a dream, but that never helps, so I wont say it." He put his hand on Harry's shoulder, not game enough to show any more affection towards him at school.

"Which negates the fact that you just did." He laughed and gave Dray a quick hug. "Thanks." He stammered before he walked back out of the stairwell and opened up his locker. Draco smiled to himself before following after Harry.

Harry slowly began to stop blaming Draco for Ron being mad at him, or not so much Draco, the fact that I'm with Draco, He thought to himself. It was, after all, his breaking up with Ron that had started the whole thing.

One lunch time, when Draco just so happened to have a music rehearsal for the upcoming performance, Harry decided to sit with Seamus at lunch. He hadn't spoken to Seamus in a while and decided that now was the time to talk to Seamus about what had happened so many weeks ago. But before Harry could say anything, Seamus said something that instantly rendered Harry speechless.

"So, Harry, you seem pretty ok with the fact that Draco and Ron are speaking." He was picking at his lunch while he said it, not really paying any attention to Harry, or the fact that Harry looked like he was choking. In fact, he was.

"I... you... he... Ron... WHAT?!" He managed to spit out. Seamus wiped the spittle off his face and looked up at Harry. His face was extremely red and he looked almost ready to kill.

"I'm sorry, I thought you knew." Harry felt sick, he felt like he was falling over the edge of a huge cliff. He felt totally and utterly betrayed.

Harry didn't want to say anything to Draco at school, he really didn't need to cause any more scenes like the ones with Ron last year. He sighed inwardly, he didn't want Draco to think he was mad at him, well, he was kind of mad at him, but he was more hurt and betrayed, he knew they had music together, but he hadn't thought they would start talking, he didn't think they would become friends! Was the whole world against him? It sure seemed so.

On Saturday morning, Harry slept in, he hadn't had a decent nights sleep in so long, so he let himself sleep until 10, which was a very long sleep in for him. After getting up, showering and dressing, Harry crawled across his bed and grabbed his mobile phone. He opened the messages menu and stared at the blank screen for a few minutes. Then he typed in a short but clear message.

Hey Dray, you wanna come round today? My parents are out, let me know. Luv Harry.

He hadn't waited more than 5 minutes before he got a reply confirming that Draco was on his way. Harry knew it took Draco about half an hour to get to his house, depending on the buses - he had to catch two. So he sat down in front of his computer and started typing a very long email to Hermione.

"Hermione,

I was just sitting in front of my computer thinking about all the good times we had, and then realized all our old emails to each other are gone - that kinda made me sad - anyway, you probably wont get this email and I'll probably print out a copy and give it to you and that's probably the copy your reading now. Your probably thinking 'wait the date on this was ages ago', or 'why is he bringing this up', or ''what the hell is wrong with this guy, why does he always type me these stupid, annoyingly long letters'... Well here's why:

I woke up this morning and I realized I didn't have a reason to get out of bed. I sat up, looked at my clock, looked at my schoolbooks, rolled over and went back to sleep. 10 minutes later, my alarm went off again. So this time I got up, I didn't rush to get ready, I didn't look forward to going down for breakfast or going to potions... I felt a bizarre emptiness inside.

Now I dunno about you, but I don't think my heart, or my mind for that matter, like being separated from you for too long, I think after a certain amount of time apart from you my whole body just stops finding reason to function and just does things without reason. Which kinda sucks, you know. No reason to get out of bed in the morning and putting on that old all-too-familiar mask.

But there's still something missing, and I kinda think it's you.

Let's face it, all the best moments of my life, my favorite memories and the moments that I recall when I can say I was truly happy, you're in all of them - They're all with you. You're my other half, we're two halves that make a perfect whole, only lately that whole hasn't really been all that perfect...And I don't want you to feel you're stuck between me and Ron, you're not, we'll work it out, you'll see.

I dunno, maybe it's just me, coz seriously, right now, I have absolutely no idea how you're feeling about all this - you never told me - only that you were confused, and not whether that was a good thing or not, but I was too... As much as I knew it had to happen, I didn't want it to, and that's why I was so upset…

I think that me and Ron have put a lot of strain on our friendshrip, that this friendship was getting too constricting, too demanding and too overwhelming for the both of us. We both seemed so miserable in it.

Some people say that it's what you wanted, to get me off your back, but I don't think that was it, cos when you want something, you at least try and get it, and you never said anything to me... then again maybe it was, who knows but you?

I think this is a bit of a turning point in my life, I would love it if I could still talk to you and spend time with you and have fun with you, without all the extra stress - the worry that I'll make you mad, or piss you off or disappoint you... And that you can do whatever you want without me nagging or getting annoyed or whatever.

For four and a half years you were my lifeline, my support line, and in so many ways, you still are.

I'm not suggesting anything in this letter, only the things that I would have said had we discussed this, but we never did, and I just had to get this all out... even if you never read it. I just had to get it off my chest; I just had to get out how I feel. But if you did read it, I'm glad. Because I wanted you to know.

I want you to know I love you. I'll always love you. You're my best friend, Hermione. You'll always hold that very special place in my heart. Always. No matter what happens, I'll always love you, for the rest of my life...

I just wanted you to know...

I'll always be here, I'll always care, I'll always want you to be happy, and I'll always love you.

Harry"

When Draco finally got there, Harry had gone through three packets of Tim Tams and had typed and sent an almost 700 word email to Hermione explaining why he really, really wanted her to still be his friend, and hopefully convincing her of it as well. He printed out a copy, which he folded tighly and put in his back pocket. Draco let himself in and found Harry's head in his arms in front of his beloved computer, empty tim tam packets on the bench next to him, humming the theme to spiderman. He couldn't help but laugh.

"Still not sleeping well?" He asked, smiling. Harry nodded as best he could without lifting his head, before getting up and wandering over to the bin where he threw the tim tam packets.

"We need to talk." He said, walking toward his room, Draco's expression turned to one of worry, as he followed Harry down the hall. "Sit." Harry nodded toward the bed. Draco sat. "Just when were you planning on telling me that you and Ron were becoming good pals?" Harry was furious, but trying to hide it. He didn't hide it very well. Draco flinched a little, but looked as though he'd been expecting this.

"Did you know Ron slits his wrists?" Draco asked conversationally.

"Yes." Harry stated sourly. He looked down at Draco who was obviously feeling very sorry, but wasn't game to say anything because he knew he'd get his head bitten off. Harry sighed and sat down on the bed next to him. "You understand why it hurts me, right?" Draco nodded. "You won't stop, though, will you?" Draco looked up at Harry now, his eyes almost pleading with him.

"He's a good person, Harry, and you hurt him, not purposely, I know, but when he's ready, he'll talk to you again. I've been talking to him, he doesn't hate you. It's a difficult situation. He's willing to forgive you, maybe even be your friend again, if you'll let him."

Harry stood up again and paced the room. "I don't know. Not yet." He left the bedroom, and Draco, and went to the bathroom, he filled the sink and stuck his head in. Even when it was wet, Harry's hair still stuck up at odd angles. He ran his fingers through it several times before returning to his room and facing Draco again. Draco looked up as he walked in.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Harry. But I was scared of telling you because I thought you'd get mad at me, I should have known better than to not tell you straight away, it was worse for you to find out this way... How did you find out?" Draco did seem sincerely sorry, so Harry sat next to him again on the bed and leaned his elbows on his knees.

"Seamus told me, yesterday, he thought I knew." Harry shrugged and tried to push it out of his mind. He laid down on the bed and Draco soon moved to lie next to him. "Penny for your thoughts." Harry smiled slightly.

"Stop ripping me off, Harry." Draco smiled too and wiggled closer to Harry, who put his arms around him. "I'm so sorry, Harry." And for the rest of the afternoon neither of the boys spoke, and Draco fell into a light sleep with Harry watching. When Draco woke up, Harry had put a DVD on. There was no sound playing and Draco noticed that Harry had been watching the entire movie muted so that he could sleep. He smiled broadly.

"Hey you." He lightly rubbed Harry's arm and Harry looked down and smiled at him. "Whatchya watching? Can't be very interesting with no sound." Harry laughed flippantly.

"Of course it can." He went back a little in the movie and then replayed the scene in slow motion for Dray. "See. Tobey Maguire in a spandex Spidey suit. What could be more interesting or exciting than that!?" Draco playfully hit Harry before rolling over and looking once more at the photos on Harry's wall. There were no longer any of Ron to be seen, but instead his own face smiled back at him from almost every photo. "We look pretty cute together, huh?" Harry had come up behind him and was looking at the photos over Draco's shoulder.

"Yea, we do." Draco answered, he smiled up at Harry for a moment, then he turned his head and kissed him. Harry was shocked at first, Draco never initiated the kissing, but he eventually found himself kissing back and the two moved into a more comfortable position.

"I like it when you start." Harry smiled wickedly for a moment, then started giggling. But Harry still had an uneasy feeling about Draco and Ron...

Well, thanks for reading another chapter. Sorry if they're still short, I'm trying, really I am. Anyways. I'll continue as soon as I can figure out where this is going. Lol. Actually, I just had an idea. Mwahahaha...... TBC