Title: The Spray Can
Author: Graci Cawdwell
Rating: PG, just because?
Warning: Er...My lame attempt at humor...? x.x
Synopsis: Based on Mugglenet's "103 Ways To Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort." #93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.
Word Count: 527
"The Spray Can"
Voldemort, lord of all things bad and evil was mad. He was furious. And why was he so angry? Because one of his faithful servants was pestering him. Walking about two or three feet behind him stood Wormtail.
No, no. Not just Wormtail. It couldn't just be the bastard. It had to be the bastard tugging along dozens of disinfectants levitating behind him. "Wormtail! What the hell are you doing?" Said man was spraying the very ground that he had just stepped on.
"Disinfecting." Voldemort snatched one of the cans away and Wormtail shrieked, spraying his hand with the other can before grabbing another spray can from behind him. He then proceeded to spray Voldemort himself, or at least he was aiming for the can but missed slightly.
"Stop that!" Wormtail shrugged. Voldemort scowled and threw the can aside. Wormtail sprayed it as it flew through the air. The Dark Lord continued walking down the hall, now just ignoring the sound of sanitizer being sprayed in his wake.
He pushed open the double doors and strode over to his throne-like chair at the head of a long, long table. Wormtail made a squealing sound and sprayed the doors, tumbling inside the room after his Lord.
The Dark Lord took his seat and set to rest his hands on the arms of the chair. Well, the crazy man with the spray cans wasn't going to take that! He lunged at the man, spraying with all his might, getting both the chair and the arm of the evil overlord.
Voldemort growled and tossed both of his cans across the room. "Welcome to another meeting. I hope you have all done your homework. Lucius."
Lucius Malfoy stood up from his seat. In the time it took Voldemort to seat himself, people had apparated in. "Sir?"
"Report."
"Oh, of course, sir. My son tells me that Potter is having sever mood swings and by the end of the year he is likely to jump off the Astronomy tower." Snickers circulated the room at the thought of the 'savior of the world' jumping off said tower screaming something about how cruel life was to him.
"Seriously, now, Lucius."
"I was. Although Dumbledore's getting him some help. They're sending him to St. Mungos, apparently." More sadist snickers spread through the room. "It'll be tough trying to get him until he gets out."
Voldemort leaned forward, unfortunately touching the table. A squeaking Wormtail dove at the opportunity to once more disinfect something. Once he'd finished spraying Voldemort's hands and the table, he stood up rather proudly.
Voldemort rubbed the throbbing vein in his head. "Stop. Doing. That." He paused. "NOW." The fearful man just whimpered. "Anyway...What were you saying Lucius?"
"Just that we have to wait a while to get Potter, but that doesn't mean we can't get a plan ready or ev-"He was cut off by a squeal and then a scream. When Voldemort had leaned back in his chair, Wormtail had quickly sprayed the chair. Voldemort had had enough and he pulled out his wand and shouted out "CRUCIO!" at the top of his lungs.
"Now," Voldemort coughed. "Where were we?"
---End
A/N: ::Cough:: Well, that was...odd...o.o Who agrees? Can I get some hands in the air? Well, anyway, another drabble. Nice, huh? I ran out of ideas and when I read that "103 Ways" thing, I just had to write something like this for that one way. Anyway, no flames. x.x They're pointless.