The Poring
By: zhakeena
3
"Heehee," Lidia snickered as she attached the Angel Wings on the helm still labeled, 'Gary's'. "So, whaddya think, Ses? Look authentic enough?"
"Ooh… it looks expensive enough… let's sell it!" Sessy answered, purring afterwards. "Oh, look who it is…" she said, her ears perking up.
"Oh, them," Lidia said blankly as they saw Chaos and Iris and the huge dust clouds they left behind, which are currently choking many of the Pronteran citizens. "So… what happened to the happy couple's pet?" she said jokingly.
"Iris… almost spent… 8k for the stupid Poring! And worse, she named it after me, too!" Chaos said, still fuming.
Iris pouted. "You're so cheap. I thought you wanted Vision back!"
"It was simple enough killing the Poring, but noooo…"
Somebody behind them cleared his/her throat. It was Fenris. "You two left the Poring back there," she said with all self control.
Chaos facial expression changed radically, his angry one replaced by a goofy grin. "Loki carried it all the way here?"
Loki frowned. "Is there a problem?" he repeated.
Iris giggled. "You look… ridiculous with that thing! Look! Chaos jr.'s imitating your facial expression!"
Loki looked down on the Poring. The Poring looked up at its carrier, its eyes wide and serious, its mouth curled into the best serious frown it can manage. Loki looked up again. "I fail to see what's so amusing…" He dropped the Poring on the floor, but the Poring jumped back in his arms.
"Aaaw… It likes you!"
The assassin frowned. Iris was laughing hysterically. Lidia was guffawing. Sessy was purring mockingly. Chaos was… making a sound that was either a snort or a laugh. Even Fenris was giggling then. He handed it to Iris, in hopes of saving some poise. "Please keep it away from me."
Chaos poked his ribs. "But it LIKES you!!!" he said jokingly.
"Quiet," he said in irritation. "I suggest we drop this silliness now, before…"
"But it LIIIIKES you!!!!"
Punch.
"Ow…" Chaos nursed a new bump on his bumpy head. "Loki, that hurt."
"I intended it to."
"Anyway," Fenris said, clearing her throat, "we musn't let that Poring get in the way of our journey. What do we do next?" she asked, looking at Chaos.
"Hmn," Chaos said, attempting to think as he rubbed his new bump, "I guess we're stuck in Prontera for a while… we'd better find an inn then. Who's got a map?"
Lidia handed a map over. "Got it from Gary, too, eh?" asked Sessy.
Chaos flipped the map open. "Lessee… we're right here, right?" he asked, pointing to a random spot on the map.
Iris shook her head. "Nope, we're here, see? Look, that's the Flower Merchant and everything…"
"No, I'm pretty sure that's the Veggie Lady…"
Chaos and Iris argued with themselves on which direction they'll be headed to next. Lidia was writing "S Angel Helm" messily on a signboard. Fenris wised up and started asking passers-by on where to go. Loki was… standing there. And the Poring.
Boy, it was getting bored.
It looked up, disinterested, at its new 'owners'. Nobody was doing anything exciting. Oh well, the Poring thought, better stir up some action then.
Ooh. I sense something… it thought, looking over to the Veggie Lady. It smiled. Almost sinisterly…
Loki stared as it hopped happily over one of the popular Veggie Lady's customers. This does not bode well, he thought.
The Veggie Lady[1] wanted to scream, abandon her veggies, and head for the hills. But courtesy demanded that she keep smiling, do her job as usual… and ignore the fact that one of her customers looked like a deranged Goth Rocker with an affinity to one of those people in the Wanted posters that the Prontera Chivalry puts up everywhere… or like a member of Kiss.
"… and maybe I'll have some of those sweet potatoes, too. Ahah" Skurai said, pointing to a bushel of sweet potatoes.
"Eh… so… cucumbers, tomatoes, apples, sweet potatoes… Ehem… that will be 124 zennies…"
"And a pumpkin! Add a pumpkin!"
"159 zennies."
Skurai got his pretty black coin purse (with the skulls and everything, so it would match with his outfit) and paid the Veggie Lady. The Veggie Lady, in turn, gave a weak smile and said a meek, "Thank you, come again," to the Cursed Prosecutor. Even though she was deathly curious on what he might want with all those veggies (could be that he's a vegetarian, or a gourmet chef on the side but it will be a bit strange since he quote-unquote searches the world for blood), but she didn't dare ask.
"Ahaha! I will come again, thank you!" he said. The Veggie Merchant forced a smile again. "Okay, Talatsu, let's jet!" he said to the sword beside him.
"Er… Skurai… a problem…" the Talatsu's voice said in a quavering voice.
"Huh?" The man looked to his side… and saw that his ever-beloved Talatsu was half consumed by a Poring already.
"What the---?!" he screeched. "Leggo! Leggo!"
"Mrmphg!" the Poring 'said' in reply. Of course, it didn't wanna let go…
"…. We're dead," mumbled Loki as he sped towards the Veggie Merchant. Fenris and Lidia saw where he was headed… and face-faulted. "Oh. My. Gawd," said the thief, turning blue. "Fenris… tell me I'm not seeing the Poring eating Skurai's weapon…"
"You're seeing it clearly, Lidia," replied Fenris, regretfully. She started running after Loki.
"Oh, crap--!" Lidia said, puffing up her cheeks. "Come on, Ses! Let's jet!"
"But, Lidia, if Skurai goes mad…"
"Never mind that! Fenris has most of their loot!" she said, dragging her cat with her as she sped away towards the Veggie Merchant.
Meanwhile, Chaos and Iris are still arguing on where they're standing. "… you think there's a guard nearby?"
"Ahah! You insolent little pink thing, you--!!!" screamed Skurai, swinging the uneaten part of Talatsu madly in an attempt to shake the Poring off.
"Skurai… it ate our veggies too," said Talatsu blankly. Only then did Skurai find out that the Poring did eat his veggies… the more madly he swung the Talatsu around. "That's it! I'm eating that Poring raw!" he screeched.
"No."
Skurai spun around. Loki was standing a few good feet away from him. The audience who crowded to see Skurai fight the Poring previously parted like the Red Sea, clearing the space between them.
"Oh… if it isn't the Assassins' Guild's puppet," the Prosecutor smirked.
Whoosh. The wind added a dramatic effect. It was like watching a coupla cowboys (in skin-tight suits, that is) about to sic at each other.
"The moment the Poring dies… so will you. Skurai," said Loki in a looooow voice. (A few female thieves and swordies swooned in the background.)
"Ooh. I'm scared," Skurai said mockingly. "Why so protective of the Poring? Don't tell me Mr. Quiet but Deadly has a Poring for a pet?!"
Loki twitched. Fenris and Lidia with Sessy stopped in their tracks and watched. "The Poring. Now."
"I wish I could, but as you can see," he gestured towards the half-eaten Talatsu, "it doesn't want to go with you yet."
"It's no joyride for me, either," mumbled Talatsu under his breath. "AAAH!"
The Poring finally swallowed it whole. Along with Skurai's hand. But luckily, Skurai managed to pull out his hand before it ate him too. "AAAH! You--!" he screeched in a horrible, grating voice.
It just burped in response.
"Hey, aren't you glad? You're finally free!!!" said Lidia mockingly.
"No I'm not!" Skurai screeched impatiently. "That's it! I'm punching it open!" Before anybody could make a move, Skurai's fist already collided with the Poring's surface… Everybody screeched and covered their eyes. (Well… it would be funny if Loki screeched, but he didn't; he just winced slightly.)
Silence.
The Poring still said, "Meep." What everybody expected was a pile of pink blob, devoured weapons and jellopy by that time was still a very whole Poring.
"The hell?!" Skurai growled, punching it repeatedly. His fist just bounced against the Poring's outer surface.
"Hahahah lolz lolz u iz weak!!1111 PVP" commented a Novice from the sidelines.
Loki curiously approached the madman and the monster. Engaging his bone armor, he used one pointy bone-gloved finger to poke the Poring. It didn't even flinch. "Interesting…"
"Whoa. That's one tough baby there," Sessy said, tails twitching.
"Ja? Let me try that!" said a brown-haired Knight[2], ready for action. His guildmates crowded around him and the Poring, ooh-ing and aah-ing. "Sir Luke! Let us see your strength, then…"
Without further ado, the 'Sir Luke' character raised his mighty Claymore… which didn't do a thing, really. It just bounced harmlessly on the Poring's head. "Eh? What the—"
"Ooh! Ooh! Let me try!!!" Several wizards, priests, swordsmen, crusaders, super-novices, bards, et al up for a challenge stepped up in hopes of destroying the Poring. Swords, Arrows, spells, guitar strings, and knives didn't do a thing to damage the Poring…
"What the hell?!"
"Is this an MVP Boss[3] or something?!"
"AAA! It hit me!" screeched a female swordie. Everybody gaped at the 1,501 points of damage it did to her…
"What the hell?!" screamed Lidia.
Fenris held her chin thoughtfully. "This might be the effect of eating the Talatsu…" she said. Loki, Skurai and Lidia gasped, but listened as she continued, "The Poring might have absorbed some of Talatsu's powers. Talatsu has a mind of its own, unlike our weapons, which are worthless without us using them. The Poring knew how to use its power to its advantage. Frankly, I'm impressed," she explained, nodding.
"So, you mean, unless we get it to barf out Talatsu, the Poring's invincible?" Lidia asked. Fenris nodded.
Skurai shook his head before bursting out into hysterical laughs. "AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! So, you're saying, unless I go with you people, I wouldn't be able to get Talatsu back?"
The three froze. "I… I guess so…" Fenris replied weakly.
Skurai held his chin thoughtfully. "Well, this is interesting… In order to beat my enemies, I have to accompany them and actually help them out with something… Ahah" he thought to himself, smiling wickedly. "Hey, stop that! I don't like the way you're smiling, ya hear?!" Lidia whined.
"He changes moods pretty fast," Sessy muttered.
"Okay! But you have to buy me veggies first! Oh, and I must hold the Poring," Skurai said, picking it up and hugging it, "or I shall age very quickly."
"What?"
"Remember that I'm older than I look. Talatsu's been preventing me from aging. If I don't have Talatsu by my side, I'll be an old man in an hour… see? I grew crow's feet 10 minutes ago." Skurai explained, pointing to his eyes.
Silence.
"You do realize that we could use that against you." Loki said flatly.
"Ahah" Skurai replied, skipping over to the Veggie Merchant, hugging the Poring. "My new comrades shall pay for the veggies this time!" he said cheerfully to the Veggie Merchant.
"AH! I know! We're right at this spot here! See? That's the Kafra right there…" Iris said, pointing to a spot in the map and gesturing towards the brown-haired Kafra nearby, dealing with a few other people.
"Hey, you might be right… So we go here, since it's the nearest inn… Eh?" Chaos' pondering was interrupted when somebody tapped at his shoulder. "Oi! Loki! What's… up…" he trailed off and paled. Along with Loki were Fenris, Lidia, Sessy… and Skurai with "Chaos Jr.".
"We have company," said Fenris weakly.
[1] – Veggie Lady / Veggie Merchant: One of those nice NPC's found in Prontera (Ragnarok Online, that is). She sells vegetables.
[2] – Sir Luke: Cameo appearance by one of my brother's characters in pRO.
[3] – MVP Boss: Freakishly strong monster-bosses that appear in specific places and sometimes even in towns. They're rather hard to beat, and if you manage to beat one, you're a pretty accomplished RO player. --
Author's notes: I realize how OOC some characters might have been here (especially Skurai). But I couldn't figure out a better way to make the story progress while keeping them in character, so if I've managed to annoy some of you, my apologies.