The Poring

4 : Talatsu unabled me to think of a witty title :)

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Chaos dropped the map. It flew with the wind and hit a random guard. "…!!!" Apparently, the sight of the Cursed Prosecutor embracing the Poring in such a manner was too much for him. The Rune Knight was at a loss for words.

Iris' eyes were almost bulging out of their eye sockets. "Oh my Odin!" she yelled. "Wha… wha… What the hel is he doing with Chaos Jr?!" she rushed over to Skurai and attempted to nab the monster from him, but he dodged. "Ahah! Oh no you don't, little girl!"

Sobbing, Iris turned to Fenris for an explanation. The older woman sighed, "We didn't have a choice… that thing ate Talatsu… and it made itself invincible. He's coming with us until we find a way to get our weapons back…"

"But… what is he doing to him?!" the Cleric pointed an accusing finger towards Skurai… who was rubbing its cheek against the Poring's cheek.

"I can't help it! 'tis so cuuuuuuuuuuuute!" he replied. The Poring looked at them with a confused (and slightly frightened) look in its black, beady eyes.

"AAAH! I can't take it! Give it back!"

"No! Ahah! I shall become an old man in mere hours!" The two of them fought for the handle and care of the Poring. The others sweatdropped.

"Chaos. Where shall we head off to next?" Loki asked, struggling to keep his facial expression the way it is usually. (which is the somewhat denser-than-wood look that he is so loved for.)

"Eh…" Chaos scratched his head. "The nearest inn here is that a-way," he pointed to a building with a windmill in the distance. "But I don't think we have enough money to accommodate 6 people…"

"Skurai has money. More than enough money…" A deep voice suddenly boomed.

Silence.

"Whozzat?" asked Chaos.

"It is I," said the Poring, still in Skurai's arms. Its normally innocent and cute facial expression is now twisted into an eviler… sinister one.

"AAAAAH! IT'S POSSESSED!" screeched Iris and Lidia, both hiding behind the other men.

"No, you dolts! The Poring isn't the one talking! It is I, Talatsu, who is the one talking! I'm just using this hideous, pink thing to speak!" Talatsu in the Poring said in annoyance.

"Oh! My dear Poring's in demonic possession!" Iris began sobbing again. Talatsu, in the Poring's jelly body, sighed in a long-suffering manner.

"Eh! Talatsu!!! How are you?!" Skurai said joyfully, holding the Poring close to his face.

"Oh, actually, never better. I had the most marvelous conversation with the Laevatein and the Swords of the Shadows regarding who could possibly have married Baphomet and who in the blue blazes could Bapho Jr's mother be1…" Talatsu muttered sarcastically.

"… really?"

"Of course not! It's absolutely horrid in this creature's guts! It's so… pink! Ugh!" Talatsu twisted the Poring's facial expression into a disgusted one.

"Excuse me…" Fenris stepped up to meet the Poring's eye (or rather, the Poring's Talatsu-possessed eye.). She contemplated first on how weird she might have looked at that time before asking, "Have you found a way to get out on your own?"

"My dear Warlock, the only way to do that is to induce this creature to either vomit or to defecate us out. Although we are willing to be removed out of this body in such distasteful manners, the Poring doesn't have the capacity to do so," replied the Talatsu. "Your Laevatein, also, isn't too keen on the idea itself…"

"The Laevatein can talk?2" asked Loki.

"Sure. I'll put him on." The Poring's evil countenance disappeared. In a few seconds, it had a whitish glow about it. It spoke. "Mistress?"

"… Laevatein? How are you?" asked Fenris, her voice getting a sentimental tone.

"'tis very uncomfortable here, yes, but for most part, I and the other weapons are fine. Although the Vision is getting cranky," The Poring's face was a concerned one, similar to the Laevatein's mistress. At the mention of Vision getting cranky, all eyes turned to Chaos. Like master, like weapon. "Luckily, the Poring cannot digest us."

"That's a relief," sighed Fenris. The Poring transformed back into Talatsu mode. "Now, I suggest you people start moving now before the crowds get suspicious…" it said.

"Oh… right! Well, Skurai, since the lodgings are on you, you lead the way," Chaos said with a smug grin. Skurai narrowed his eyes a bit before he led the way. The others trailed behind him.

(Somewhere, a certain blonde, tanned woman was shopping at the Prontera Weaponry shop. "Ooh. Knives. Hee hee! 3")

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The party got a room for the men and a room for the women, but they all hung out at the men's room for the time being, discussing possible ways on obtaining their weapons from inside the invincible Poring's gut. (Men's room, of course, does not pertain to the gentlemen's bathroom.)

Chaos opened its mouth. Saliva dripped all over his hand, but he still found the guts to stick his head in the Poring's mouth. "Nope. I don't think we can pull it out from there…"

"I told you so. We seem to be in another dimension. Truly, this Poring is a strange creature," Talatsu's voice said through the Poring. "And it's not a great place…"

"Stop talking like that! You're corrupting Chaos Jr!" Iris whined.

"Ahahahah! Corrupting is what I do for a living, my dear child!"

"Talatsu, behave!" said Skurai, still hugging the Poring.

"Maybe we should get Laevatein to possess it first…" suggested Loki.

"Geez, it laughs like Skurai…" Sessy mumbled to Lidia. Then, in a lower whisper, "You still plannin' ta nab that Poring of theirs…?"

"Sure… but keep quiet or else they'll find out!" Lidia whispered through gritted teeth.

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"Good night, Fenris! Good night, Lidia! I'm turning in…" Iris lay on her bed, wiggling under the covers. "Aaah… I'm exhausted…"

Fenris, with her gauntlets, bolero and accessories off, was still combing her wet hair. She had just finished taking a bath. "Good night, Iris," she said as she fixed her hair in front of the mirror. In a few minutes, the younger girl fell asleep, snoring soundly. "Lidia, Sessy… how about you two?"

Lidia still hadn't dressed down; she still had her armor and all that. "Oh… I might be staying up… reading, you know. Hehe!" she was holding her Treasure Hunter's Bible with her as she sat on a couch upright.

"Yep! She has to find out where to look for the… the Jotunheim treasures. Hehe!" Sessy answered.

The warlock turned to the thief and her cat curiously. "Oh? I see. Why don't you take your armor off?"

"Well, uh, er… I don't want to. Somebody might steal them while we're asleep, you know. Security!" Lidia reasoned, her cheeks flushing a little.

Fenris narrowed her eyes at her before conceding, "I suppose… but you should take them off anyway. You might get a back-ache tomorrow morning."

"I'll risk it," she said, standing up and going towards Fenris. "Aren't you turning in yet?"

"No… I want to read a bit first," she got a book from one of the drawers of the dresser. "I borrowed this from the owner of the inn."

"AHAHAHAH! You don't wanna read a boring ol' book all night, do ya, Fenris?" Lidia pulled the book from her grasp.

"Yeah! You'll overuse your brain!" Sessy meowed.

Fenris stared at her strangely before getting the book back from her. "Yes… I want to read the book. I'm not sleepy yet…" she said, controlling her annoyance. "Are you up to something again, Lidia?"

"Oh! You wanna sleep! I got Spore-spores here! They'll make you sleepy! Here!" Without further ado, Lidia blew a handful of mushroom spores3 onto Fenris' face. The warlock instantly fell to the ground, KO'd. Her body hitting the floor made a loud "THUD" against the wooden floor.

"Oops," Lidia tried to stifle her giggling. "Sorry, Fen! I didn't think you'd fall asleep that fast!" she tried carrying her to her bed, but she couldn't carry the taller woman; she just let her lay on the floor and put a pillow beside her and covered her with a blanket. "Do you think it's suspicious the way she's sleeping on the floor like that…?" asked Sessy.

"Nah… Besides, I'll be gone by the morning… Heehee! We'll be rich, Ses! Rich!" Lidia said, walking to the door, her feline purring (softly) on her shoulders. "Come on, we gotta be real quiet…" They tiptoed their way towards the room where the men were soundly sleeping.

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Loki was annoyed.

First, he didn't get to the shower first, Skurai did. He had to endure listening to the Cursed Prosecutor singing "I Believe In A Thing Called Love"4 in the shower, falsetto and all. Loudly. (Chaos, surprisingly, wasn't annoyed by this since he was grooving to the tune… even head-banging at some point.)

Then, when they were all eating Payonese take-out, he discovered that most of the food had Pecopeco5 meat in them. He, being the assassin that he is, doesn't stand for eating Pecopeco (since he thinks they're utterly cute… but of course, he wouldn't admit it). He didn't touch the food.

And finally, when he was turning in, he heard Skurai threaten to give him and Chaos a good-night kiss. Of course, Skurai was just kidding, but this thought disturbed him… very much. So much that he couldn't sleep, expecting that any minute now, that Cursed Prosecutor will make a move, placing those two black lips of his on some spot on his face, leaving a black kiss-mark that the girls next door wouldn't particularly approve of.

Well, Loki wasn't going to let him. As the two snored on, he lay awake on his side, turned away from them and the doorway, bone armor disabled, but ready at anytime now…

Through the wall separating him from the girls, he heard Fenris' and Lidia's muffled voices. Fenris' tone was normal, but Lidia's sounded quite… hysterical. The assassin didn't mind it at first since the party's very used to Lidia being hysterical and things. But then, the horrible "THUD" came.

It was so loud, it would have woken up a few good demi-humans… but looking briefly to his side, he noted that his two roomies' slumbers weren't disturbed at all. In fact, they were sleeping quite soundly (with Chaos mumbling something about Iris, birthday cake and red potions while Skurai giggled "Ahah" every now and then, a sedated Poring in Talatsu mode still in his arms.)

Loki lay his head back down. "Hmph," he thought to himself in mild annoyance. "If this inn will catch fire, I won't carry those two outside…"

His thoughts were disturbed when he heard somebody try to pick the lock of the door from the outside. "…?!" reacted Loki. He was prepared to jump up and slay the person who was trying to intrude, but he decided to see who it is first and to give a surprise attack.

The door opened slowly, the persona delicately pushing it so as not to make any creaking sounds at all. Loki heard it tip-toe, ever so silently, towards the man next to him… Skurai.

He heard a whisper, "This guy's hand is too heavy…!!!"

"Don't make a sound, remember?!"

Lidia and Sessy.

Loki frowned. He noticed the slight shift of mood in the ambience of the room when the two thieves managed to nab the Poring and get their selves out of the room. The assassin waited for a while before deciding to use his one of his least favorite skills against them:

Stalking. (No actually, them assassins christened a new name for this: Cloaking, was it? Loki couldn't care less, since he really didn't like to use this skill…)

With his "Super Speedy Assassin of the Cross skills", he ran across the ceiling, making sure that the shadows hid his form perfectly. He followed Lidia out of the inn.

XoooXXXXOo00xxXx! (Oh for the love of a divider…)

1 – Baphomet is a gigantic MVP Boss in RO. He looks kind of like a giant goat with a scythe. He also has a smaller version, Baphomet Jr, which could be adopted by players as a pet.

2 – Yes, Laevatein can talk, but it only did so in Book 1. Whether it's a male or female is beyond me, though. (For those of you who do not know what Laevatein is… it's Fenris' magic staff. It extends and everything, and high on both offense and magic. Cool, huh?)

3 – Being attacked by these walking mushrooms called "Spores" can sometimes make your character fall asleep. I assumed it's because of them darn spores you can pick up…

4 – I Believe In A Thing Called Love is a song performed by The Darkness. Can't you just imagine Skurai singing that? Hee hee!

5 – Think Chocobo.

Author's notes: AAAH! School's taking its toll on me… sigh Anyways, enjoy the chapter? I hope so.
Sara Irine's coming up in the next chapter. She should have been in this one, but this one got too long, so… there! Sorry bout that! But it's good to know that there are Sara fans out there... Yay!
Final note: Wow! May mga Pinoy na nagbabasa nito! Heheh… la lang. :)