Catching Up

Disclaimer: I don't own any incarnation of Degrassi, or the characters in this story. Please don't sue.

This is a response to Voices Carry pt. 2. There are some spoilers, so this is your last warning.

I wrote this because of the last scene. I realize that the powers that be wanted to focus on the Craig/Ashley relationship, but they made a great mistake in not having a Craig and Joey scene. This is my response to that: a little something that may or may not have happened. This takes place after Craig realizes he needs help, but before the Craig/Ashley scene on Monday.

He still won't look at me. It's been hours since it happened, and he still won't look at me.

He's sitting up on the bed in his hospital room. He's got a room to himself, at least for right now. Angie's sitting with him, but she's on the foot of the bed. When I set her down by Craig, she immediately moved to the foot of the bed. When she did, the look on Craig's face almost killed me. I think I might have broken down if Caitlin hadn't grabbed my hand. We told her that it wasn't Craig's fault; that Craig was sick and he was here to get better, but I don't think she understood. I hope it's that, and not because she doesn't care.

My family came so close to breaking apart today that I don't want to let any of them out of my sight. If I hadn't come home when I did, in the state he was in Craig might just have ended up… I don't want to think about it.

A few people have been in here. Ashley finally left an hour ago, after much pleading from her parents and stepfather. Both her stepfathers, I mean. Spike and Snake came, too. After what happened at the wedding reception- I think I have a clear picture of it now- Toby called Emma, who called her parents, who tried to reach me, who eventually got Caitlin, who told them everything. Between me and Caitlin, Spike and Snake (I hope I'm wrong about this, but I think that they were here for me more than Craig. Don't ask me why. I only have a sore jaw and a split lip. My son is the one falling apart), and all four of Ashley's parents, we managed to stop the spread of the news there. The gossip could wait until Monday. Gossip- that's another problem I'm going to have to deal with. After what happened a few weeks ago, do you think I want people to talk about my kid being crazy?

They want to keep Craig here overnight for observation, and they're going to keep him here for the next few days. Nobody will be able to see him until Monday. The doctors think they know what's wrong with him already, but they're going to run a lot of tests tomorrow to make sure.

Finally, it was time for everyone to go. Everyone but me. I managed to talk the powers that be into letting me stay the night. They asked Craig if he objected, but he didn't answer them. He didn't even look at them, or me. We all left the room, giving Craig privacy to change. I picked up Angie, and kissed her goodnight. I practically had to pry her off me to hand her to Caitlin. She didn't say anything, but she looked like she was afraid for me. And I thought my heart couldn't break any more than it already had.

Caitlin looked me in the eye, and nodded. I could see some unshed tears, but she managed to smile. We kissed, said goodnight, and they left. I went back into the room, alone with Craig for the first time in hours.

I sat down in one of the chairs, and I looked at Craig, already in the sheets and not looking at me. I had to say something now. It had to be now, and it had to be fast, and it had to be the right thing to say. Otherwise, things could get much harder than they were already going to be. I closed my eyes, and tried to think.

Come on, Jeremiah… you're a car salesman, for Chrissakes… then again, I am a struggling car salesman…

I opened my eyes, and I saw Craig looking at me. When he saw me open my eyes, he immediately whipped his head in the other direction, and he huddled himself into a ball. He actually started to tremble. How could a kid who's already lost so much in his life have to go through this? Somebody please answer me that.

Then, it came to me. I knew what I had to do. Despite the differences in their ages, Craig and Angie were both kids. I knew how to handle Angie when something spooked her. It should work on Craig too. I hope.

I walked over to the side of the bed; the opposite side from the one Craig was on. Slowly, I climbed onto it. Forget the age and the fact he's a boy, Jeremiah. Other than that, he's just like Angie after a nightmare. Craig felt me get on, and the trembling became full out shaking, and I could have sworn I heard whimpers.

Pull yourself together, Jeremiah! He needs you, so get your head out of your ass and comfort him!

I reached over to Craig, and I put my hand on his distant shoulder. He flinched so hard he almost shook my hand off. I felt a sudden burst of hatred for my wife's ex. The doctors said Craig's condition was biological, but nobody's going to tell me that years of abuse from that bastard didn't contribute to this. Forget him, Jeremiah. He's in the ground, and hopefully in Hell. Craig's here now, and he needs you.

I put my other hand on his closer shoulder. He shuddered again, and there was definite whimpering.

"Craig," I said in what I prayed was my most gentle voice, "please look at me."

He huddled up even tighter, and shook his head.

"Craig, please."

He shook his head again.

"Please." I put my heart and soul into that plea.

Once again, he shook his head.

Okay, forget the looking part. I moved right beside him, and stopped him from moving further away. It wasn't easy.

When I was close enough, I slipped my arms around him further, and I held him as tightly as I could. Craig started struggling.

"No- no! Get off- get off me! You don't get to forgive me! Not after I, not after I, oh my God!"

I heard him start to cry. I relaxed my grip a little, and he lofted his head and looked me straight in the eye. He was crying.

"I came into your house, I ate your food, I took your money, I crashed your cars, I refused to pay rent, I made you put up with me, I stole your credit card, I cost you four grand, I beat the hell out of you, I scared the hell out of Angie, I ruined your life, don't forgive me!"

How did I respond to all that guilt? I hugged him even tighter than before.

"Please don't forgive me," he kept begging, "please don't, please don't, please don't, please…" Somewhere along the way, the words stopped, and the sobbing took over.

"It's too late, son," I said into his ear. "I already have." He started to bawl so hard that his cries shook him.

"I love you," I told him, and I kissed him on the forehead.

I only thought he was crying before. After I told him that, he really let go. His cries shook me, a bit.

"Let it out, son," I whispered in his ear. "Just let it all out."

I don't know how long we stayed there, together like that- him crying, me holding him, rubbing his back or his hair. Sometimes I really miss having hair. When he finally stopped crying, I almost thought it was because he was asleep, but he wasn't. Good. The rest of this couldn't wait.

"Whatever you're going to go through, whatever's going to happen, I'm going to be with you every step of the way," I promised him. "I just want one thing from you- no matter how bad it gets, you have to promise me that won't ever hurt yourself."

I felt him nod in agreement.

"Good. Now look at me."

He lifted his face from my chest and looked up at me. His eyes were still red, and tears were still falling. His face was dirty. I was going to say something tough, but the look on his face destroyed me. I had to be firm.

"None of it was your fault."

He opened his mouth to say something. I cut him off.

"No. You listen to me. None of what happened was your fault. You're sick, Craig, and that is what made you do all those things. I know you. The Craig Manning I know wouldn't rent a hotel room and trash it." A sudden thought crossed my mind. Something about the expression on Ashley's face when I mentioned the hotel room…

"I'm not going to have to give you the sex talk again, am I?"

Craig shook his head.

"I used condoms this time," he muttered.

"Oh. Good. That's very good." Even I thought that sounded lame. "Where was I? The Craig Manning I know wouldn't propose to his girlfriend, and then make an ass of himself at his girlfriend's dad's wedding."

"Would the Craig Manning you know go on a spending spree?"

What? "What?"

"With your card?"

What? "What?"

"To buy clothes for the wedding?"

"What?"

I'm starting to sound like a broken record.

"No, he wouldn't do that either," I finally managed. $4000 dollars in damages, and a spending spree? "And he also won't complain when I take it all back to the store he bought it from."

"It's more like stores. Talk to Marco- he helped me pick everything."

Marco. He would have to pick the friend with the most expensive taste.

"Some of it's stained," Craig added. "From when I fell on the table. I also bought underwear, but I didn't wear it. Would they take it back?"

"They should." A spending spree… I am very glad that all this happened after Caitlyn bought my house. Okay- mind onto son, and off of money. "And the Craig Manning I know would never hit me."

He looked away.

"Don't- don't do that," I told him. "Look at me, Craig. You can always look at me." I felt my eyes tear up. "You can always look at me because I will always love you. That will never, ever change, you got me?"

He looked at me, and there were tears in his eyes again. This time, he put his arms around me.

"I love you too, Joey," I heard him murmur. I held him again, and I swear I could actually feel the moment when his breathing changed, and he fell asleep. I laid him down as gently as I could, and for some reason I couldn't quite understand, I stretched out next to him, him under the sheets, me on top. At first I didn't know why I was doing it, until I realized: My daughter would make me sleep with her to keep the nightmares away. This would be the first time I ever did that for my son.

I have sixteen years to catch up on.

I won't be heartbroken if nobody reviews, but reviews would be very, very nice (hint, hint, hint!).