Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf or any Red Dwarf characters.

Author's note: You like? I hope so. It's really good fun writing this fic! Thankyou to Sunrise over the Tango Factory for reviewing Chapter 1 so promptly!

Enchantment - Maternity Store

2 blue t-shirt - $£16

2 beige A-line skirt - $£20

1 mauve blouse - $£9.50

1 blue blouse - $£9.50

2 pink blouse - $£19

Subtotal: $£74

Total: $£74

Paid: --

Change: --

Nicole G. Adler's Personal Thoughts...
I HATE these maternity clothes. They make me feel like a tent. Arn swears I look fine, and they don't look too bad, and they are a bit more comfortable, and they have some give for when the bump starts to show, and I didn't have to pay for them, blah blah blah, but they make me feel 30 pounds heavier!!!

To: NAdler
From: ARimmer
Subject: Maternity Clothes

Honey, you look fine. I'll always love you. Arnold x

To: ARimmer
From: NAdler
Subject: Re: Maternity Clothes

Are you sure I look OK? Where the smeg are you?
Nikki x x x

--Internal Ship Messaging--
LuvsArnie: logon
LuvsArnie: Arn?
LuvsArnie: Are you there?
LuvsArnie: ARN?
LuvsArnie: Why won't you tell me where you are?
LuvsArnie: logoff

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC - Red Dwarf Standard Logbook
Oh God, don't find me, please don't find me!
I'm hiding from Nicole. She keeps smegging asking me if she looks OK. Women!!!

Journal of: DAVE LISTER
SHE TOUCHED MY HAND! SHE TOUCHED MY HAND! OK, OK, so, I was at lunch, minding my own business - wait, I don't have to lie in a diary, do I? - OK, so I was at lunch, watching Kochanski in her sexy, red, skintight catsuit, making her Diet Strawberry Milkshake (does it count as 'diet' when you add six tablespoons of sugar?) when she looked up at me. She smiled and got a lager out of the fridge. She brought it over and put it on the table in front of me, and then...it happened. SHE TOUCHED MY HAND!!!!! I need to tell someone. Cat? No, he won't care. Nikki? No, she's not feeling her best at the moment. Probably not a good idea to tell her that the object of my desire brushed her soft skin against mine for just a brief, fleeting moment of exquisiteness. What was I writing about? Oh yeah. Rimmer? No, I haven't seen him for about a week. Come to that, Nik mentioned something about not seeing him for a couple of days as well. Strange. Oh well, I guess that leaves Kryten or Holly. Given the reliability of Holly, I think I'm gonna tell Kryten.

Diary of Kristine Z. Kochanski
Finally, some peace. I know it's weird Rimmer disappearing like this, but honestly, Holly says he's onboard somewhere, and let's face it, he wouldn't leave Nikki - he loves her so much; she's carrying his child, for smeg's sake. Why is she getting so frigging paranoid!?
On a lighter note, I managed to get a rare couple of minutes alone with Lister. I didn't say anything to him but I gave him a lager and squeezed his hand. Please take the hint, Lister: I love you!

Cat's thoughts: (IF ANY! - Lister)
Man, I was looking fine in that blue suit today! And the pink one. And the red one. Hell, I looked fantastic all day! I think that Alphabet-Head and Officer Throw-Up are having some probl I'm going to put a side-parting in my hair tomorrow. Unlike Goal-post Head, I can actually pull off a side-parting. Got to go and get my beauty sleep now!

--Internal Ship Messaging--
Licketysplit: logon
Licketysplit: Nikki?
LuvsArnie: Arn! Where the smeg are you???
Licketysplit: Down on X-Deck
LuvsArnie: Why? Why have you been avoiding me?
Licketysplit: Before I answer that, can I just take this opportunity to say: I love you so much.
Licketysplit: Nik?
LuvsArnie: Why have you been avoiding me?
Licketysplit: OK. But don't get angry
LuvsArnie: OK. But don't give me a reason to get angry.
Licketysplit: I don't like you asking me all the time if you look OK
LuvsArnie: Is that it!?
Licketysplit: You said you wouldn't get angry!
LuvsArnie: Bit hard when your fiancé says they don't want to talk to you!
Licketysplit: I didn't say that! I just said it's getting a tad tedious you asking me if you look OK. You look GORGEOUS, alright? You always do!
Licketysplit: Hello?
LuvsArnie: I love you.
Licketysplit: Forgive me?
LuvsArnie: Of course.
Licketysplit: Promise you'll stop asking me?
LuvsArnie: Absolutely.
Licketysplit: OK, I'll be back asap.
Licketysplit: logoff
LuvsArnie: logoff

Nicole G. Adler's Personal Thoughts...
Found him. He was hiding out on X-Deck because I kept asking him if I still looked attractive. I am such an idiot! All that stress and panic just because I was worrying about my looks. I am not making that mistake again.
Note to self: throw out the mauve blouse - it makes me look like a human lavender plant.

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC - Red Dwarf Standard Logbook
OK, well it's been a week and she hasn't mentioned her appearance once. Thank. God.

To: Holly
From: DLister
Subject: curry supply

Hol, we're running low on chicken vindaloo - we're down to our last 50 crates. Kryten's picked up a Space Corps derelict floating in space. It's slightly off course (but only by, like, 100 miles). Could we go and pick some curry up?
Cheers
Dave

To: DLister
From: Holly
Subject: Re: curry supply

Dave,
No. Tough.
Holly

To: Holly
From: DLister
Subject: Re: curry supply

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please??????
I'll give you that modem thingy you wanted...........

To: DLister
From: Holly
Subject: Re: curry supply

Dave,
No. Tough.
Holly

To: Holly
From: DLister
Subject: Re: curry supply

OK, fine, you win.
Do you think Kris will ever go out with me? I've been trying for so long. Things have been progressing steadily, but will it ever lead to anything? Am I just wasting my time?
Please reply,
Dave

To: DLister
From: Holly
Subject: Re: curry supply

This is an automated message. Holly is unable to get back to you right now. Please get back to her when you receive another e-mail informing you to do so. Thank you.

To: Holly
From: DLister
Subject: Grrr....

I really hate you sometimes, Hol.

Diary of Kristine Z. Kochanski
Today was horrible. I watched Lister for two hours and not once did he look at me. I suppose it was sort of hard as I was in the air duct, and by the way I WASN'T spying on him. Rimmer says I was, but I wasn't. I never thought I'd be saying this, but I honestly don't know what I would do without Rimmer. He's been so kind and supportive, and he hasn't let it affect him at all.

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC - Red Dwarf Standard Logbook
Right, that's it, this is killing me. I have to tell someone about Kris's feelings for Lister. If she moans at me one more time, I swear I'm going to switch off my own hologram. But who can I tell?

Nicole G. Adler's Personal Thoughts...
OH MY GOD!!!!!!