Disclaimer: I still don't own Red Dwarf. Sigh.

Author's note: I'm liking this! Don't know about you! R&R please! Again, thank you to Sunrise over the Tango Factory. You'll never know how much I love you...

To do
1. Get some more maternity clothes - (yuk!!!)
2. Hide the laundry so Kryten will actually fix the air conditioning.
3. Find some more air freshener to cover the nausea smell.
4. Also find some more decaffeinated coffee to cover the nausea taste.
5. Talk to Arnie about being so sexually frustrated.
6. Talk to Lister about his feelings for Kris.
7. Talk to Kris to try and knock some sense into her.
8. Get some throat lozenges - (I'll need them after all that talking)
9. Spend less time writing 'to do' lists, and more time getting some rest.

Nicole G. Adler's Personal Thoughts...
Jesus, Dave, just tell her already! For the past four nights he has been the one holding my hair back while I throw up. And he has been the one complaining that he and Kris will never be an item. If only he knew! I so badly want to tell him. Put him out of his misery. But I've been sworn to secrecy by Arn.
I love Arn and everything, but sometimes I really, really hate him.

--Internal Ship Messaging--
Currylover169: logon
Currylover169: Rimmer?
Licketysplit: Why are you IMSing me?
Currylover169: Just bored.
Licketysplit: OK then
Currylover169: I'm going to interrupt the awkward pause
Licketysplit: Thankyou.
Currylover169: Do you think
Currylover169: Ignore that last message. I didn't mean to send it.
Licketysplit: Do I think what?
Currylover169: Nothing. Doesn't matter. Honest.
Currylover169: Are you still there?
Licketysplit: Do I think what?
Currylover169: NOTHING!!!
Licketysplit: Tell me...
Currylover169: Do you think that Kris'll ever go for me?
Currylover169: Hello?
Licketysplit: Sorry, I don't think I can help you. You're looking for an agony aunt.
Currylover169: Shoulda known YOU wouldn't help...
Licketysplit: What's that supposed to mean?
Licketysplit: Hold on, I've got another ISM

--Internal Ship Messaging--
CottageCheese: logon
CottageCheese: Rimmer, I need to talk.
Licketysplit: To me?
CottageCheese: Yeah, I can't find Nikki. You weren't my first choice.
Licketysplit: Nice to know...
CottageCheese: Do you think Dave'll ever go for me?
CottageCheese: You there?
Licketysplit: Meet me in Parrot's Bar in fifteen minutes.
CottageCheese: Why???
Licketysplit: You want to be with Lister don't you?
CottageCheese: Yes!
Licketysplit: This just might work...
Licketysplit: logoff
CottageCheese: What might work? Rimmer?
CottageCheese: logoff

--Internal Ship Messaging--
Licketysplit: I'm back
Currylover169: Where'd you go?
Licketysplit: Meet me in Parrot's bar in fifteen minutes
Currylover169: OK, I'm lonely but I'm not that desperate!
Licketysplit: Just do it!
Currylover169: OK, fine.
Licketysplit: logoff
Currylover169: logoff

Nicole G. Adler's Personal Thoughts...
What is Arnie doing? He's been tapping away at that computer for about fifteen minutes! Looks like he's sending an email.
Oh no. Morning sickness.

To: Holly
From: ARimmer
Subject: Kochanski/Lister

Holly, I need you to record what's going on in Parrot's Bar for me.
Rimmer.

To: ARimmer
From: Holly
Subject: Re: Kochanski/Lister

This is an automated message. Holly is unable to get back to you right now. Please get back to her when you receive another e-mail informing you to do so. Thank you.

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC - Red Dwarf Standard Logbook
What's that stupid, senile, airhead of a computer done now? She's put herself on downtime!!!

To: Holly
From: ARimmer
Subject: Re: Kochanski/Lister

Look, get this through your stupid thick skull, I need you to record what's going on in Parrot's Bar, NOW!
Rimmer

To: ARimmer
From: Holly
Subject: Re: Kochanski/Lister

This is an automated message. Holly is unable to get back to you right now. Please get back to her when you receive another e-mail informing you to do so. Thank you.

To: Holly
From: ARimmer
Subject: Re: Kochanski/Lister

HOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To: ARimmer
From: Holly
Subject: Re: Kochanski/Lister

This is an automated message. Holly is unable to get back to you right now. Please get back to her when you receive another e-mail informing you to do so. Thank you.

To: Holly
From: NAdler
Subject: Black Box Recording

Hol, I know you're messing around with Arnie, but enough's enough. I'm trying to throw up everything I've eaten today, and him whining at me isn't making it any easier, so just grow up and do what he says.
Nicole

To: NAdler
From: Holly
Subject: Re: Black Box Recording

OK, Nik. Sorry. Consider it done. But, just so you know, Lister and Kochanski left Parrot's Bar a long time ago.
Holly

Journal of: DAVE LISTER
I do not believe that lying smegging liar!!! He only went and set me up a date with Kris. God knows how he did it! Doesn't he know! Hasn't he realised! Kris is NEVER gonna be with me!!! Hang on. Why did she go along with it? She said she'd never trust Rimmer. I am confused.

Diary of Kristine Z. Kochanski
I can't believe he did that! I am always trusting Rimmer from now on.

Diary of Kristine Z. Kochanski
I am NEVER trusting that dead git ever again!!!!

Kryten 2X4B-523P/ Update Printout
0010111010000101101010100000101000001110010010110010010101010010010001011010000010111
0111010101010001011010010101000000101101010100100101010100101001010100100001011010101
0010011010111000011010101010101110101000010101111111110100101010101101000000000000000
101010101011111010100000101010100
Air conditioning fixed.
0010111010000101101010100000101000001110010010110010010101010010010001011010000010111
0111010101001010100010110100101010000001011010101001001010101001010010101001000010110
1010100100110101110000110101010101011101010000101011111111101001010101011010000000000
000001010100110101110000110100110
Head replaced.
1101011100001101010101010100101010001011010010101000000101101010100100101010100101001
0101001000010110101010010011010111000011010101010101110101000010101111111110100101010
1011010000000000000001011001001010101001001000101101000001011101110101010010101000101
010100110101110010101001101011101
Soda machine upgraded.

Thanks, Kryt! You weren't here so I'm leaving you this note, and there's a little WD-40 on the top shelf on the left.
Nic-
Miss Adler
P.S. Could you also repair the wall in mine and Ar- Mister Rimmer's quarters? He accidentally told her that he'd told me about her feelings for Dave and she went a bit crazy with a chair.
Thank you.