Chapter 5

McKay was almost through with his meal, and that's saying something as he had 3 portions, when Weir joined them.

As usual, because of the recent events, her face looked pained.

But worse so now.

She sat down as she handed McKay a red envelope.

"What's this?"

One glance at her wince and he knew.

"Read it out loud," Teyla requested.

"Why do you always turn me down? Why do you always embarrass me? Why do you make people laugh at me? It's my turn now. I laugh at you. It's my turn now to see your face all red from blood rushing to it. I would be a much better leader than you, I'm simply way smarter than you. Can't you see that? You blind ignorant diplomat."

A pall of silence swept over the table only to be interrupted by Weir's haunted whisper, "I think it's John...After what I've done to him...I think it's him," her hand clapped over her mouth, "I'm sorry, I'm feeling so nauseated with all this."

The other nodded in unison-she was pregnant.

"It couldn't be the Major. No way," Ford said, ignoring the evidence.

"I know...but we've all seen him fight. He turns into some sort of animal-maybe I turned him into that."

"What did you do?"

She smiled weakly, and then nodded her head. This was time, she supposed to spill her secrete. Her safety, after all was more important than her pride. The crew's safety was more important. If John was sending these letters, he was a threat to everyone.

"You were right in wondering about us-me and John- hugging. You caught us. For the first time. We were always so careful."

"You two have been going out? For how long?"

"A year and a half. We were supposed to tell everyone today. On the anniversary of the day we told each other how we felt. And a day before...What do I do? I deny everything and chicken out. We broke up."

They had finally declared their love for one another when he survived the leach bug. She had visited the infirmary every night. Every night they whispered to each other, conspiring to keep their secrete. Weir told them this much.

"It can't be John, can it?" Elizabeth realized, "No. It can't."

"You should confront him with this," Teyla suggested, "The Major is big on truth."

"You are right. I'm going to go see him."

"Umm...Elizabeth," Rodney said, "Why don't you take someone just in case...he-ah-he..."

"I understand Rodney. Good thinking. Why don't you come with me?"

"I,ah, actually meant you take Ford."

"Of course you did."

The Major was uncharacteristically unshaven as he answered the door. He was also only wearing a pair of pj bottoms. Elizabeth's eyes fallowed the swells of lean muscles on his arms and chest, but quickly snapped back to focus.

He noticed. But he wasn't amused, and threw on a robe.

"Come in."

"We'd actually rather stay outside, sir."

"Oh? It's not that messy."

"That's not it, sir."

"Ford, what's going on? Did someone let a rat loose in my room again?"

"No..."

"John," Elizabeth stepped in, "Are you mad at me for...for not admitting that I loved you?"

His eyes darted to Ford.

"I already told them."

"Oh. That's news. You wouldn't tell anyone before. But I might want to add it's a bit too late."

"I told them because I'm worried you wrote the threats."

For once the Major could say nothing. He stared into Elizabeth's eyes, letting her see the pain. She instantly regretted telling him. He couldn't have written anything that would ever harm her.

"You think that do you?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Okay..."

"Is that it?"

He looked back at her with fire in his eyes.

"You think I want to kill you because you embarrassed me? You think I wrote those letters? Elizabeth, do you even know me anymore?!"

"I don't."

"I don't want you to," he looks at Ford, "Come to take me to the Brig and name me Stan?"

"No sir. Not unless Doctor Weir says to."

"Ooh good to know. But I think it's a little late to try and get on her good side."

"John..."

"What do you want me to do? Walk down to the brig myself? Write a letter of resignation? Because you seem to think I write a lot of letters."

"Did you write those threats?"

"No."

"Then who did?"

"If I knew, do you think I'd be putting up with this conversation, Doctor Weir?"

"I'm going to suspend gate travel and..."

"And you're going to have to promote Ford, because I'm handing in my resignation letter."

"What!? I didn't ask you to."

"I'd rather do it on my own than be asked."

"What, John, no, you're the one who can fly those puddle jumpers long distances. You have the Ancient gene!"

"I'll think I'll retire on those breakers in the mainland. Catch up on surfing. Grill hot dogs."

"I just had to ask if you wrote them."

"Aiden, come out for some Athosian beer and football once in a while, hmm? I'm gunna pitch myself a tent...a tax-free year around tail gate party. This isn't so bad."

"Umm...sure sir."

"It's John now. And it's not an obligation."

"John," Elizabeth began.

"Mr. Sheppard to you ma'am," then he shrugged, "Or Major. Some retired people keep their titles."

"Sheppard! I'm sorry if I insulted you. But there's a lot of evidence pointing to that you did write those letters. It mentioned being embarrassed, that you though you were smarter and a better leader..."

"Have I ever said those things to you before? I don't even think them! Now I do though. If I was in charge, I'd examine every piece of evidence before attacking an officer. That's right. I'm glad I'm leaving. Now everyone thinks I'm unhinged and if people doubt my judgment I'm useless. You'll find my letter on your desk soon enough. 'Pleasure working with you."

With that he slammed the door in their faces.

John left his room with his duffle bag slung around his shoulder. Self-imposed exile. But seriously, he was two steps away from the Brig. Weir approaching him first was a nicety. And he knew it was only temporary-till they caught who ever was threatening her. Then they'd come back with floods of apologies...and he'd come back from a nice long-much needed-vacation.

Yes, he was worried about her. But no one on Atlantis was really that crazy to carry anything through. Besides, he really did have 100 confidence in Ford. And it's not like anyone would let him protect her now.

As he walked through the halls, people gave him strange looks and scooted aside. They stopped talking as he walked by and stared with their mouths agape.

"How could he do that?"

"Always knew something was wrong with him..."

"It's the hair..."

"Too bad, he was kinda cute."

"Murder, Weir, whodda though."

He finished walking through the gauntlet and entered the jumper bay.

If he was accused of committing one crime...might as well commit a real one.

Grand theft auto...well...Grand theft.

He smiled at the puddle jumper ahead of him, the one they used for missions. It had food, medical supplies, and an assortment of weapons.

Alriiight.

Stackhouse ran in into Weir's office; he stood gasping for breath before he could speak.

"Doctor...Doctor Weir...A puddle Jumper's gone...Major took it. Major Sheppard."

"He left?"

"He stole the craft! I have a team ready to come and bring him back."

She threw her head back and laughed.

"John's the best Pilot here. You couldn't catch up to him, or force him to land. Just let him go. Save our fuel."

"Yes, ma'am."

Just let him go...He's gone. He doesn't love me...And I don't love him.

"Ma'am?"

"Hmm?"

"Did Major Sheppard really threaten you?"

"I'm afraid all the evidence points to it. And...and if he shows up...back on Atlantis...I give who ever full permission to put him in the brig."

How's that for separating emotion from the job?