Disclaimer: I'm never going to own them. We both know it. Don't try to hide behind a false pretence.
Author's note: Here's another chapter for you (a boring a/n I know, but I'm tired).
--Internal Ship Messaging--
CottageCheese: logon
CottageCheese: Where the hell were you?
Currylover169: I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry! I went to Cat's to borrow a bow tie (so I could look nice for our date) and I got a little preoccupied
CottageCheese: With what, exactly???
Currylover169: A belching contest
CottageCheese: Excuse me? You missed our sixth date to have a belching contest??
Currylover169: What, it was important!
CottageCheese: I fail to see how a burping competition is more important than me
Currylover169: It is when I've got 100dp riding on it!
Currylover169: Look, I'll take you out tonight, OK?
CottageCheese: No thanks
CottageCheese: logoff
Currylover169: logoff
To: KKochanski
From: DLister
Subject: Sorry!
I'm so sorry, Kris, please come out with me tonight. I love you so much, I feel terible that I've made you upset. Please?
Love Dave x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
To: DLister
From: KKochanski
Subject: Re: Sorry!
Sorry you're not feeling good. Well, actually, I'm not. I don't want to see you for a while, OK? Leave me alone.
Kristine
PS 'Terrible' has TWO r's.
To: KKochanski
From: DLister
Subject: Re: Sorry!
Why are you being so stubborn? I said I was sorry a million times! What more do you want???
Dave
PS I couldn't care less how you spell 'terrible'
To: DLister
From: KKochanski
Subject: Re: Sorry!
I just need you to leave me alone right now.
To: KKochanski
From: DLister
Subject: Re: Sorry!
Fine.
--Internal Ship Messaging--
Currylover169: logon
Currylover169: Women!
Licketysplit: Sorry, this is sort of a bad time
Currylover169: Why are they so complicated?
Licketysplit: I heard about you and Kochanski and it's terrible and everything, but I really can't chat right now
Currylover169: God, don't mention the word 'terrible'
Licketysplit: Seriously, Nikki's not well, I can't talk now
Currylover169: What's wrong with her?
Licketysplit: She's finding it hard to breathe and she can't stand up
Currylover169: You know what Kris's problem is? She's too uptight for me
Licketysplit: Lister, can you get Kryten, she's got worse
Currylover169: I need someone who wants the same things as me. Maybe we're not as perfect for each other as I'd hoped
Licketysplit: logoff
Currylover169: Hey!
Currylover169: logoff
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC - Red Dwarf Standard Logbook
Oh God, what an awful day. Nik is really unwell. We were about to go and get some more maternity clothes for her, when she started breathing heavily. She sat down and tried to calm herself but she couldn't. So, I took her down to the MediBay, but Kryten doesn't know what's wrong so she has to stay there for a few nights. I think I'll sleep down there as well. I can't leave her by herself.
Journal of: DAVE LISTER
Never thought I'd be writing this in my diary - I broke up with Krissy today. It sounds horrible but I think if I hadn't done it, she would. It's better this way.
I think.
To: Holly
From: WHolloway
Subject: new e-mail
Thanks for hooking me up with this e-mail thingy, man! Novelty-Condom Head has just shown me how to use it
Lurrrrve the Cat
X
To: WHolloway
From: Holly
Subject: Re: new e-mail
Cat,
No problem. Have you been down to see Nikki yet?
Holly
To: Holly
From: WHolloway
Subject: Re: new e-mail
No. Why?
To: WHolloway
From: Holly
Subject: Re: new e-mail
She's in the MediBay you insensitive gimboid!
To: Holly
From: WHolloway
Subject: Re: new e-mail
And she needs someone to fix her up with some fashionable threads, rather than the awful, godforsaken excuses for clothes they have down there?
To: WHolloway
From: Holly
Subject: Re: new e-mail
On second thought, forget it.
Enjoy your new e-mail!
Diary of Kristine Z. Kochanski
He broke up with me. I can't believe it. Why? Why did he break up with me? I thought, if anyone was going to break up with anyone, I would break up with HIM. Why did he do it...?
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
--Internal Ship Messaging--
Licketysplit: logon
Licketysplit: Holly, why the smegging hell are you wasting this ship's precious supply of energy scanning the local area???
IQ6000: Just doing my job
Licketysplit: You're looking for other computers aren't you?
IQ6000: No!
Licketysplit: Holly.....
IQ6000: I don't wish to discuss it. You'll laugh at me
Licketysplit: I'd never laugh at you
Licketysplit: Scratch that last message
IQ6000: See!
Licketysplit: OK, Hol, maybe the old me would have laughed at you, but I've changed! You want kids, don't you?
IQ6000: Yeah, but it's not gonna happen. Not unless we find a male computer. And no
one will help me search
Licketysplit: I'll help
IQ6000: Sorry, I think I lapsed into a coma. Did you say you'd help?
Licketysplit: Yes. Since Nikki got pregnant I have these really strong paternal instincts
IQ6000: Excuse me?
Licketysplit: Well they're not there ALL the time, for God's sake! I'm just saying, if I can help in any way, I'd be happy to
IQ6000: Thanks, Rimmer, but it's really OK. Nikki needs you. Speaking of whom, how is Nik?
Licketysplit: Not good. She's improving but she's still very weak. The baby's fine, though. We just have to make sure she doesn't get any worse, otherwise.........you know.
IQ6000: I know. Wish her well from me, yeah?
Licketysplit: OK
IQ6000: logoff
Licketysplit: logoff
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC - Red Dwarf Standard Logbook
Yes! She's gonna be out in a week! Kryten still doesn't know what it was, but she's improving rapidly. She's nearly back to her old self! So she's out in a week!!!!
What am I going to do for a week...?