Disclaimer: I'm running out of ways to say this: I DON'T OWN THEM!

Author's note: Well, here's another chapter for you. I hope it keeps up the trend of 'gets better every chapter' that most of you seem to think it has! (Thanks, by the way! I luv you all!!!)

Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE
Long Range Scan Results - NEGATIVE

To: Holly
From: ARimmer
Subject: (No Subject)

Sorry, Hol. Nothing yet.
Rimmer
PS Nikki has to stay in ANOTHER few nights. She got worse again. I'm starting to worry - what if she doesn't get better before the baby comes???

To: ARimmer
From: Holly
Subject: Re: (No Subject)

Don't worry, Nikki will be fine. You can stop searching for derelicts now - we've been trying for ages and we never find any; and even if we do, it's unlikely there'll be a functioning computer on board; and it's even less likely that he'll want to have children with me. Nikki needs you a smeg of a lot more than I do.
Holly

To: Holly
From: ARimmer
Subject: Re: (No Subject)

Don't give up hope! We'll find him, OK? We'll find the father of your child. I promise.

To: ARimmer
From: Holly
Subject: Re: (No Subject)

Nikki has done wonders to you. You've completely changed, you know that? Well, not completely. Once she gets you to stop telling Risk stories, then it will be completely.

--Internal Ship Messaging--
CottageCheese: logon
CottageCheese: How are you?
LuvsArnie: I'm fine. Just tired
CottageCheese: Oh, OK. I'll leave you to get some rest. Great to have you out and about again!
CottageCheese: logoff
LuvsArnie: logoff

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC - Red Dwarf Standard Logbook
She's out, at last! She's still very weak and tired, but she's done nothing but improve, and the baby is completely healthy. We have to keep an eye on her, and be careful of any problems when she goes into labour, but Kryten has high hopes. Thank God.

Cat's thoughts: (IF ANY! - Lister)
I'm BORED, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored.
I'm tired.

KRIS, I'M SORRY, I NEVER SHOULD HAVE BROKEN UP WITH YOU. PLEASE, WHEN YOU GET THIS, COME AND FIND ME. I WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT. I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU. I WAS AN IDIOT. I LOVE YOU. PLEASE COME BACK. I MISS YOU AND I NEED YOU. I LOVE YOU, PLEASE COME BACK TO ME. I'LL BE WAITING. I LOVE YOU.
LOVE DAVE X X

Journal of: DAVE LISTER
She wasn't there so I left a note outside door. I'm extremely proud of that note. I didn't get any help whatsoever. I only asked Rimmer what he thought I should put, and he told me to be 'succinct and to the point.' It was hard at first, writing a heartfelt letter that was succinct and to the point, but I can safely say, my note is definitely that. Succinct. To the point.
Note to self - look up the word 'succinct'. I've got an inkling of what it means, but I just want to be sure.

Succinct: Concise and terse: a succinct reply; a succinct style

Journal of: DAVE LISTER
It's been five smegging days! Surely she's back by now??? Why won't she talk to me? I hope she got my 'succinct' note.
Note to self - look up the words 'concise' and 'terse'.

To: KKochanski
From: DLister
Subject: us

Kris, are you there? Did you get my succinct, concise, terse note?
Love Dave x

Journal of: DAVE LISTER
She didn't even reply to my email!!!

Concise: Condensed; brief and compacted: a concise explanation
Terse: Brief and to the point; effectively concise: a terse one-word answer

--Internal Ship Messaging--
Currylover169: logon
Currylover169: Kris?
CottageCheese: WHAT?
Currylover169: You ARE there!
CottageCheese: Of course I'm here you stupid smeghead!
Currylover169: Kris, we need to talk
CottageCheese: Er, actually, we don't
Currylover169: Yes we do
CottageCheese: What about?
Currylover169: What do you mean 'what about'? About US!
CottageCheese: Quite frankly, I have nothing to say on the matter
Currylover169: Yeah right. No one can make love like that and have nothing to say about it
CottageCheese: Stop it.
Currylover169: I love you Kris
Currylover169: Kris?
CottageCheese: Come over in five minutes
Currylover169: OK!
CottageCheese: logoff
CottageCheese: logon
CottageCheese: This doesn't mean I forgive you
CottageCheese: logoff
Currylover169: logoff

--Internal Ship Messaging--
Currylover169: logon
Currylover169: Last night was amazing
CottageCheese: It really was. Same time tonight?
Currylover169: Oh, I was actually planning on going to see Ca, oh, buggar that, I'll be here tonight. Promise
CottageCheese: I love you
Currylover169: I love you too. One second

--Internal Ship Messaging--
Currylover169: logon
Currylover169: Ha ha ha! I got laid last night!!!!!!!!!!
SexyBeast: Like I care
Currylover169: logoff
SexyBeast: Damn
SexyBeast: logoff

--Internal Ship Messaging--
Currylover169: I'm back. Soooo...what do you want to do tonight ;)
CottageCheese: I thought we could go and see how Nikki's doing
Currylover169: OK
CottageCheese: Then we can go to the Obs Dome and star gaze
Currylover169: OK
CottageCheese: And a walk in the arboretum
Currylover169: OK
CottageCheese: Maybe a meal at Parrot's
Currylover169: You know a lot of ways to postpone sex, don' t you?
CottageCheese: Then back to my quarters...;)
Currylover169: Oh, OK!
CottageCheese: See you at 6:30?
Currylover169: Sure. Love you
CottageCheese: Love you too
Currylover169: logoff
CottageCheese: logoff