Disclaimer: Leave me alone. It's never going to happen.

Author's note: Last one. God, this fanfic went quick! Please R&R and await the next fanfic (already started!!)

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC - Red Dwarf Standard Logbook
It's one of those things that for over thirty years you wish never happens to you, but when it does it's the most incredible feeling ever. Oh, when I held her for the first time...it was amazing! She looked at me and she stopped crying. She just stopped. It was...indescribable.
Nikki's exhausted, but she's healthy, thank God. She had difficulty breathing and needed an oxygen mask for most of it, but she didn't faint - I wish I could say the same for myself! Still, remained conscious during the actual birth, and that's the main thing.
Naming her was horrendous! Nik thought she should be named after my mother (God only knows why) but I thought that would bring back too many painful memories. So I suggested naming her after Nikki's mother, but the look on her face said it all. Then they both fell asleep, and I was bored to tears by Cat boasting that he'd figured something out - I lost interest fairly early on. But then I heard him say a name, the name of his grandmother, I think, and it was perfect. Turns out Cats don't have such bad taste after all. When she woke up, I suggested it to Nikki and she loved it. So did everyone else.
Charlotte Adler-Rimmer.
Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Nicole G. Adler's Personal Thoughts...
Dear God, am I tired!

Well done!
She's gorgeous, you're so lucky.
Love Holly
PS Rimmer, relax, she doesn't look a bit like you!

Congratulations!
Finally, after all these months, all the failed attempts, the morning sickness, the labour...she's here, and she's perfect!
All our love,
Dave & Kris x

Dear Sir and Ma'am,
Congratulations, Charlotte is so cute - I can't wait to iron those teeny-tiny itty-bitty baby clothes!
Kryten

Diary of Kristine Z. Kochanski
Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god!!!!!!!

Congratulations on your engagement...
Told you you should have gone for it! You two are going to be so happy! I love you both so much - I honestly don't think I could have gone through with the pregnancy if it wasn't for you.
All the best,
Nik x

--Internal Ship Messaging--
Series4000: logon
Series4000: Is it true, sir?
Currylover169: About me and Kris? Yes, Krytes, it is
Series4000: Sir, you promised you wouldn't leave me!
Currylover169: Kryten, I will NEVER leave you. I swear
Series4000: You promise?
Currylover169: I promise.
Series4000: But what if she makes you get rid of me????
Currylover169: The day a woman tries to butt you out of my life, will be that day I realise I've chosen the wrong woman
Series4000: Oh, sir, you don't know how happy that makes me!
Currylover169: Well, you can hug me later, can't you? I'm celebrating my engagement tonight ;)
Series4000: Would you like me to help out in any way, sir?
Currylover169: Er, no thanks, Kryters, I think I'll manage by myself
Currylover169: logoff
Series4000: logoff

Cat's thoughts: (IF ANY! - Lister)
Yes! I finally managed to get that stain out of the black Cherel (#185)!
Man, babies are annoying. I had to move to another room further away to avoid the screaming! Gerbil-face says I'm being a stupid sissy smeghead, but he doesn't understand! A cat's hearing is magnified by 350 percent compared to that of a human.
I've been hanging around these people for too long. I'm actually beginning to make sense!

To do:
1. Get more formula
2. Get more baby clothes
3. Change pillowcases
4. Look in the cargo decks for some more of that decaffeinated coffee - it's actually quite nice
5. Have sex with Arn - I think I deserve a little night of passion!
6. Make sure no one finds this list
Too late! - Dave : P
7. Hit Dave
And one more thing -
8. Enjoy a long and happy life with Charlotte and Arnie :)