Disclaimer: Don't own anything belonging to Harry Potter!!

Sirius' POV

Sirius couldn't hold back the tears from his excessive laughing. Hermione had been forced to jab James in the back with her wand since he was kissing her. Sirius heard someone walk up behind him. Spinning around, he didn't see anyone until Remus removed James's invisibility cloak and observed the couch.

James moved down to her neck, giving Hermione some air.

"Help me," Hermione hissed, not wanting to wake up anyone. Fortunately, they were the only four people in the room.

"What are you laughing about," Remus whispered to him, irritated with what he was seeing. Sirius joined him in dragging James off Hermione and placing him on the floor. Hermione leaped off the sofa and remained near Sirius.

"Is he drunk?" Hermione asked, fixing her robes. "Otherwise, he's doing a wonderful impression of Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Welcome to the Caribbean, Love," Hermione said, walking around like James. She stopped and blushed, "A movie."

James sat up straight, holding out two bottles.

"You have betrayed me, Padfoot," James said, shaking his fist at Remus, "Why are you separating me from Lily?"

Remus looked at Sirius uncertain of what to say.

"He came into the room and started calling me Lily," Hermione explained.

Sirius nodded. At least James had taken his advice and put some pants on... they were hanging loosely on his arms instead of his legs.

"Is this all because of Lily," said Hermione as Sirius and Remus raised him onto the couch.

"Yes, he's been a wreck. Couldn't even fly properly for the last Quidditch practice," Sirius said, forcefully keeping James' hands down.

Hermione picked up the bottles from the floor. One was empty and the other was full. "How did you get this?" She examined the bottles, which were obviously purchased from Hogesmeade.

"You didn't purchase this when we were there last time… I was with you. And you shouldn't be drinking," she said suspiciously. "This wouldn't have anything to do with why all of you were missing in the afternoon?"

"It's none of your business," Sirius barked, grabbing the bottle from her hands. Nonetheless, he was amazed at how cleverly she was piecing the puzzle together.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with the passage to Hogesmeade in the castle, would it?" she asked sweetly, knowing she was on the right track.

Both Remus and Sirius stared at her in shock. "What makes you think there is one?" Remus asked.

"Ah. I've used it back in my time to get some necessities," she grinned.

"Really then how did we walk openly in front of dozens of wizards to get alcohol?" Sirius said, sure that he had found a loop in her argument.

Hermione grabbed the cloak from Remus' hands and put it on so that only her head would show, "Nice invisibility cloak."

Sirius wrenched it off her, muttering, "Fine, but you better not tell anyone."

"Deal. As long as you can do me one little favor," she said speaking solely to Sirius. She pouted her lips, "Do you mind giving me the bottle?"

He looked at her oddly, "Weren't you just accusing us before of carrying liquor on us?"

"Yes, but I'm not going to drink it," she said, examining the nearly full bottle, "Perfect amount."

"Then what do you plan to use it for?" inquired Remus.

She shrugged purposely in order to not tell them. "Goodnight boys." She kissed Sirius and Remus both on the cheek and turned to James, "You've gotten a little too many." Hermione left, leaving them to ponder the uses of the bottle.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" James said, standing up and laying his head on Sirius' shoulder.

Hermione's POV

The next day at breakfast, to Hermione's delight the Marauders all welcomed her back to their table. James was very quiet and seemed in high spirits ,despite how much he drank last night.

"Feeling better James," Hermione asked.

James glanced up at her strangely, "Yes?"

"He doesn't seem to remember his nightly escapade," Sirius murmured, pursing his lips as if he was kissing invisible lips while James wasn't looking. Hermione laughed.

"What?" James said, sounding more alert. "Didn't tell you about the dream I had. It was about Lily."

"Dream?" Remus asked in a serious tone. He winked at Hermione.

"Yes, she's really good at kissing… but it ended," he said, glaring at Remus and Sirius contemptuously, "When you two interrupted."

"Really?" Sirius said, "First Prongs, it wasn't a dream. Second, you were snogging Hermione, not Lily-,"

"WHAT? THAT CAN'T BE!" he screamed.

"You were drunk and declaring your undying love to Hermione," Sirius informed him."Found you trying to seduce Hermione on the sofa with only your lips and boxers."

James choked on his pancake. "I didn't?" Hermione nodded, blushing.

"Poor Hermione took her completely off guard. Merlin help you James if word goes out to her boyfriend Lucius," Remus joked.

James opened his mouth to speak but the words didn't come out. Instead, he began slapping his head.

"Which leaves me to my third point," Sirius said, "Why was Hermione kissing you back?"

"I wasn't!" she pleaded, "You saw me! I mean at the beginning I thought that he was- oh never mind!" James was staring at Lily again. "James, I'll talk to Lily," Hermione said, "It's not as bad as they put it."

"I'm dead," said James.

"Oh don't be stupid!" Hermione said, filling her glass with orange juice, "I promise you a date with Lily by the end of this year."

"Hermione, that's impossible," said James frustratingly. Sirius watched Hermione with amazement.

"Thank me later," she said.

Miriam joined Sirius at the table, flapping her eyelashes at him. 'Another Pansy Parkinson,' Hermione thought. Sirius attention was again diverted solely to Barbie girl, as she worked her plastic charms on him. Hermione rolled her eyes and groaned.

Miriam was more attentive than her limited phrases let on. She glared at Hermione, "What's like wrong with you? Such like a bad attitude! He's like mine."

"Like really? Is that like for a few like minutes on a weekend basis," grumbled Hermione, receiving some laughs from Remus and surprisingly Sirius.

"Are you like making fun of me?" Miriam said, placing her hand on her waist. She flipped her hair backwards, "Sorry Miss I-know-it-all. Just because you can't get a boyfriend in your old school doesn't mean you can like come here and he'll like fall for you."

"That's enough!" Sirius said sternly, "Hermione apologize!"

"Me?" said Hermione, looking directly at Sirius.

He gave up right away, knowing she wouldn't. "Hermione's not my type. She has Lucius," he said nonchalantly to Miriam. The Barbie was convinced, and continued flirting with Sirius.

Hermione's plate became more interesting to her by the minute. His words had left her feeling empty and livid. 'Why should I care about his words? Why should I let him put me down like that?' She glanced around the room and spotted Malfoy. She smirked to herself.

"I'll see you guys later in class," Hermione said, standing up.

"You haven't even finished eating!" said Remus, pointing to her plate.

Hermione ignored his comment, "I have something to take care of."

She rushed away and did the unthinkable. Hermione seated herself at the Slytherin table between Lucius and Severus.

Sirius' POV

Sirius wished he had not said Hermione wasn't his type. 'You stupid bloke, now you really put her off.' They didn't have anything in common but there was something about her. He watched Hermione snuggling in Malfoy's arms and kissing him. He turned his head away, focusing on Miriam.

"Sirius, I was like wondering if you would like to help me tonight with some homework," Miriam said childishly.

He gazed at her sickeningly. Everything about Miriam was repulsive to him. Her voice and the way she bothered him all the time. "I told you I have practice tonight," he growled, pushing her aside. He glimpsed at the Slytherin table and found Snivellus's arm over Hermione. Since when were they such good friends?

"Sirius," Miriam drawled.

"I'm eating, can you please leave?" Sirius said, stabbing his fork into a sausage. She looked at him shocked. "NOW." Miriam marched off, probably crying her eyes out for all he cared.

"Someone's in a bad mood," James said.

"She's angry at me isn't she?" Sirius said, throwing his fork on his plate.

"Miriam, yes she is -," said Peter nervously.

"Not her," Remus said, studying Sirius, "Hermione?"

Sirius didn't bother to admit it; he fidgeted with his empty goblet.

"Why should you care? She isn't your kind, right?" Remus said playfully.

James, Peter and Remus looked at their friend keenly.

Sirius growled, struggling with himself, "What is she doing now?"

James looked at the Slytherin table for Sirius, "Well he's touching or rather grabbing her arse."

"WHAT?" Sirius yelled.

"Oh she's giving him a dirty look-," Remus announced.

Sirius smirked, 'Lucius doesn't stand a chance with her.' He turned around, eager to see Hermione slapping Lucius across his face and returning to their table.

Instead, he found Hermione whispering something in Lucius' ear and sensually wiping her tongue across it. They both stood up and left the room. Lucius sent Sirius his trademark smirk as he left with his arm around Hermione's waist.

"Okay, maybe she did enjoy it," Remus said, waiting for Sirius to explode.

"You make things worst for yourself, mate," James said, shrugging.

"Look who's talking! You were snogging Hermione thinking it was Lily!" Sirius said.

"Well she tasted pretty good…and her hair smelled like strawberries," said James, reflecting back to his dream/reality.

Sirius glared at him, slumping down on the table.

"I've never seen you act like this over a girl Padfoot," Remus joked, "Hope you're not losing your touch."

Sirius groaned.

Hermione's POV

Hermione sat across from Lucius in an empty classroom.

"Sure you don't want to go to my room?" Lucius asked mischievously.

She shook her head, aware of what he was really intending. "Do you want something to drink?"

He nodded, looking at her strangely. She turned her back on him and transfigured two pens from her bag into glasses. Lucius looked into the windows and checked his reflection to fix his hair. After pouring the drink, she carefully slipped some verisaterum into Lucius glass.

She passed the glass to him and sat down on his lap.

He took a sip of his drink, "How did you get into Hogwarts with Fire whiskey?"

"I like breaking rules," she lied. It was the same bottle that James had.

Lucius grinned, slipping his hands under her shirt. After a few minutes, his eyes dilated. She pushed him against the chair and removed his hands from her.

"Alright," Hermione said, deciding to test the potion, "What do you think about me?"

"Sexy," he said, smiling a little too much considering he was a Malfoy, "I'd fuck you senseless any time."

She sniggered; it would be funny to use it against Lucius when she returned to the future. The potion definitely worked.

"What is the password to the Slytherin common rooms," she asked.

"Python," he answered.

"Good," she said, knowing that she would have to put a memory charm on him soon so that he wouldn't remember that she questioned him. She swiftly removed a hair from his head for later on.

"One more thing," she said, thinking quickly, "What's the most embarrassing thing that you do?"

"I love singing and dancing to that Abba song, Dancing Queen in my black satin boxers," he stated, finishing the rest of his drink.

Hermione burst into laughter before putting a quick memory charm on him.

The next day in the afternoon, Hermione was reclined on the sofa talking to Lily.

"You should give him a chance!" Hermione said to Lily.

"He's a jerk," Lily said defensively.

"You should have seen how bad he has been since you slapped him," Hermione

said, "Heard he could barely fly properly… and for James Potter that is a big thing."

"So he shouldn't have kissed me," Lily said in a whisper, blushing.

"You do want Gryffindor to win today's match?" Hermione said, putting on the blame purposely.

"Yes"

"It was horrible for him to kiss you all of a sudden," Hermione stated, opening up a book.

"Yes"

"You did enjoy his kiss," Hermione said, running her eyes through the words.

"Yes," she said, "Wait no. I mean- Mione that's not funny." Lily groaned when she saw the Marauders approaching and sitting on the sofa opposite to them. Hermione stuck her head back into the book, not wanting to see Sirius.

"Are you coming to the game," James asked quietly.

Lily nodded, but barely acknowledging his presence. She turned to Hermione, "So you have everything right?"

Hermione nodded, still looking at her book. She could feel Sirius' eyes boring into her.

"For what?" Remus asked, trying to ease the tension.

Lily shrugged, "An experiment."

Hermione stifled a laugh, "Black satin." Lily and Hermione broke into a fit of laughter under the gaze of the confused Marauders. Hermione had informed Lily earlier of Lucius' special moments in black satin boxers.

They both started singing

"You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the dancing queen"

They finally calmed down and Hermione continued to read her book.

She froze in her spot when Sirius sat at the edge of the sofa seat, looking down at her. 'Why does he have to sit so close?' She could even hear his breathing. Her eyes focused on the words. 'He smells so damn good.' She swallowed hard, hoping he didn't realize what he was doing to her. The scent reminded her of something Harry had from Giorgio Armani.

"Didn't know you could read backwards?" Sirius whispered, his lips brushing against her ears.

She nearly slapped herself on the forehead, noticing that the book was indeed backwards. "One of the incredible things about me," she said, flipping the page and covering her head with the book.

"Guessed as much," he said huskily, making her feel grateful for covering her head with her book.

It was hard for her to believe that Harry's godfather, who was at least thirty-five when he died, was hitting on her. 'Wonder where Miriam is.'

"Better go to the field," James said, standing up. He looked at Lily, waiting for a 'good luck.'

Instead, Lily said to Hermione, "Good luck, it will only last ten minutes so work quickly." Hermione nodded and Lily left, leaving James more miserable.

"What is she talking about? Aren't you coming," Sirius asked, reminding her that he was right next to her.

"Something," she said, jumping off the sofa. "No, not feeling up to it."

Sirius was obviously disappointed.

She felt incredibly bad for some reason, "I'll be there at the next game against Slytherin without a doubt. I need to do check something in the library."

Hermione glanced at James who was slowly self destructing, "James, I told you I'd get you a date with her, and you will. You had better win that game, or I'll change my mind. Oh yes, and you are not doomed. I talked to her and there's plenty of hope."

James face lightened up at her last sentence as some of the Gryffindor Quidditch team gathered in the common room.

Twenty minutes after the game had started; Hermione knew that it was time. She dropped Lucius' hair into the Polyjuice potion when she was near the staircase to the Slytherin common room. Lily had shown her the way there a few days before to ensure the success of their plan. She had already changed into a male Slytherin uniform that she obtained from the laundry room. Hermione gulped down the revolting potion and was transformed into Malfoy. 'I can officially say that I was a man once in my lifetime.' She moved up the stairs, hoping that all the Slytherins were near the Quidditch field.

"Python," she muttered in a male voice. To her delight, all the rooms were empty. She pulled out a huge sack from her school bag and ran quickly to the boys' dormitories. "Accio Lucius Malfoy's boxers," she muttered, receiving black satin boxers covered with golden snitches in her face. She continued moving through the list of the Slytherin team in her mind. She hastily added their names in flashing green lights on the boxers to be reminded of the owners. Next, she rummaged through the girls' dormitories and found an embarrassing item for each of the four female girls on the team. Of course, it would be foolish to take it because they would find it missing. She quickly transfigured some of the useless things in her bag into these items. Stuffing them back in her bag, she was ready to leave when she noticed her reflection in the mirror.

Instead of gray eyes, there were brown eyes staring back at her. The sleek blonde hair began to curl naturally in front of her eyes. 'Shit.' She ran towards the Slytherin exit, noticing by another mirror that the transformation had finished.

She reached out for the door handle, ready to pull it open when she heard a deep voice mumble the password and push the door open. Hermione's breath quickened as she searched for a place to hide distraughtly.

However, it was useless, the door had already opened. Hermione raised her wand, cursing herself for going ahead with this plan.

Severus Snape walked into the room, a shadow cast over his face as he regarded the Slytherin clothes on her.

"Hermione," he said in a deadly tone.