Here's me. Trying. Desperately hard. sigh Do you guys realize? I have not slept in, in like, weeks!!! Many many weeks! And this past weekend, I had two hours of sleep before I went to my Saturday class (cuz Tabby and Katie came over!) and then we were busy all day Saturday after I got off school (so no homework got done) and then after church Sunday, we went out to eat, and then somehow a bunch of people came to my house, and then back to church and then out to eat with Tabby and some other people and then home in time for bed. And then up again for school. I'm serious. I average 5-6 hours of sleep, continuously, seven days a week. I know, I know, I ought to ditch Tabby and do school and update (I can just see her getting outraged at the thought) but I can't. I'd die if I had no social life on top of everything I have to do. BUT! I do my best! See, All of chapter ten (except for the last page or so) was written at school during my breaks (I skip lunch ppl! See? I love you!) And during class I write outlines so I can organize my thoughts. Of course, it still takes me forever, cuz I pretty much only have my breaks to type up my outlines, plus there's the whole "need to be in the mood" thing or you'd get crappy chapters, but hopefully I haven't let you down too much yet! Oh, and thanks for the warning Bagira. Yes, Kagome was losing air time, and that was not intentional so I'm sorry! It's just that I felt that I needed to expand Sango and Miroku's relationship a little, before going back to Kagome's because the basis for Kagome and Inuyasha is already there (I mean, they LIVE together, so that right there will provide opportunities) but I was afraid that I'd forget to give S/M some situations. So I did that, but then I didn't get back on track with I/K! Thanks for warning me! This story is just SO confusing and complicated to write sometimes! Lol. I have to organize my thoughts for every scene. But I'm glad you caught me!
Wow, long AN, sorry ppls, lol. K, chappie now.
As inconspicuously as possible, she poked her head around the corner, being careful to only let her eyes peer over the edge of the wall. Her backpack was on both shoulders to avoid the possibility of it banging into something and attracting unwanted attention. Her eyes scanned the hallway. One of her hands was closed in a fist around her hair to keep it from blocking her vision. She had to be as efficient as possible. So intent was her purpose, she didn't hear the person approaching her from behind. His hand reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder. "Kagome, what are you-"
She shrieked. Eyes wide, she whirled around, her fist releasing her hair so it flew around her in a panic. Recognizing him, she relaxed, immediately letting out a sigh of relief. "Inuyasha." She said herself, as if to more thoroughly calm her nerves. "I thought you were someone else."
He eyed her warily. "I figured." She just shrugged, offering no explanation. Curious, he stuck his head around the corner to see what she was looking for, but he didn't see anyone he recognized. Of course, maybe she wasn't looking at someone, but rather for someone. "Who'd you think I was?"
She looked at the ground. "No one." She was a terrible liar. Funny, since currently her entire life was a lie. She looked up, past him, at the door leading to the parking lot. With a big smile, she grabbed his arm and started pulling him towards it. "Are you ready?" She asked, not waiting for an answer. "Let's go!" And she proceeded to drag him towards his car. He let her, only because his mind had already gone back to his earlier conversation with Miroku and the confusion that ensued. Why on earth would anyone like this girl?
Kagome, for her part, was just glad to be getting out of the school before he'd seen her. Yes, Kouga was nice. And yes, it was a decent thing to do, offering her a ride. And, yes, it would probably be great for Inuyasha's stupid plan if she spent more time with him. But honestly! She was starting to feel really awkward, and more than a little guilty, and she just didn't want to do it. Not that she could tell Inuyasha that. For the sake of his 'revenge' he'd march her over to Kouga himself. Brotherly love, huh?
Kagome felt even more relaxed once he'd started the car. And when they'd left the parking lot? She was thrilled. That was the point of no return. She had escaped the confusion and horror that was high school, at least for the remainder of the day. Of course, Inuyasha dashed that all to pieces when he started talking.
"So," He was trying to come across natural, and nonchalant, but his face was too neutral, making his whole appearance seem awkward. "Have you talked with Miroku much yet?" Weird question. She wasn't expecting that. Though she was definitely relieved he didn't want a Kouga update.
"Um . . ." She paused to think. Honestly? "No, I don't think so. I mean," She hastened to add more, having recently vowed to be completely truthful in all situations where it was allowed in. "I know who he is. I've seen him around. We just don't say anything. He's kind of a ladies man, isn't he?" She tried to word that in a way that wouldn't sound too mean. After all, she didn't want to pass unfavorable judgment on someone she'd never had a conversation with . . . or insult Inuyasha's best friend while he was driving.
"Oh." His voice was noncommittal. He was watching the road for once, for which she was grateful, but she got the impression that was more to avoid looking at her than to be safe, and that was irritating.
"Why?" She asked, settling back in her seat, a gesture of stubbornness on her part. Her arms crossed. "Why do you want to know?" He gave her a quick glance, and she set her mouth in a thin line, obviously expecting him not to answer. She was anticipating one of their usual arguments, and he found that kind of funny, especially since he was going to answer this time, because he'd promised Miroku.
He shrugged, and then answered easily, surprising her. "We're going on a field trip, the day after tomorrow. He just suggested I bring you, to meet people. Because you have no friends." He couldn't resist adding. She huffed, making him smirk.
"I do so have friends." She informed him. "You're just trying to be difficult. Stop it." It was order. But not really one she expected to be obeyed. She tried to picture his friend in her mind, but the image was blurry. She'd only seen him a few times. "That was nice of him." She said finally. "Worrying about your sister's social life."
"Miroku's not nice." He snorted. "Especially not to girls. Not unless he wants something." She gave him a scandalized look, and then smacked his arm.
"Don't even say that! For one it's rude!" She made another face. "And for two it's gross. And it's not true! I've already told you, I've like never talked to him. And if he thought I was pretty, he would have gone for your sister years ago."
But maybe Miroku had noticed the differences between Kikyo and his sister. Inuyasha definitely had. They were becoming more and more obvious to him, especially in the personality. It wouldn't surprise him at all if his best friend, a self-proclaimed expert on women, had found a difference that attracted him to the new Kikyo. It could have been personality, just from watching from a distance. Or maybe it was the way she smiled, because hers was definitely more genuine and irrepressible than his sisters. It could have just been the way she held herself, always leaning forward when she talked, as if eating up every word. Or the way she'd scrunch her head when she was confused (which was often) or blush over certain words . . .
Not that he thought any of those traits were attractive, but Miroku might.
They'd reached the house. She hadn't said anything else and he hadn't bothered to reply to her. She was the first one out of the car, and she didn't waste any time going into the house. She wasn't hurrying either though. They just didn't have anything to say to each other. For once.
She was more than a little confused. Sure, she'd acted like it was nothing in front of Inuyasha (because watching her stress would have been way too much fun for him). But, cruddy freaking mother what was she going to do! Her fake brother's best friend wanted to . . . crap, it was the only word she could think of . . . seduce her? Stupid Inuyasha for contaminated her mind with that word, but it definitely fit. What in the world was she supposed to do? Just ignore it? Ignoring Hojo had never been a good solution.
She headed up to her room, clenching and unclenching her hands the entire time in concentration. She reached it just as the phone by her bed rang. She blinked. She hadn't even realized there was a phone by her bed. She debated answering it. If it was for Kikyo, she could ruin it, but Kikyo had no friends, right? But than why was someone calling her phone?
You know you're screwed when even a phone call confuses you that bad.
In frustration, she reached out and grabbed the handle, yanking it up to her face. "Hello?" Her voice was rougher than she'd meant it to be, and she winced, instinctively, wondering if she could have just offended someone important.
"Hello?" The voice on the other line was vaguely familiar. "Kagome?" She blinked. "It's Kikyo." Oh. Oh! Kagome opened and closed her mouth, but nothing came out. "Are you there?"
"Yeah!" She managed, finding her voice. "You just surprised me. Plus, it's kinda weird, hearing my voice talking to me on the phone. Like, déjà vu or something." Yes, she was rambling, but she was still stressed and confused about life in general, and that had a way of affecting her ability to communicate well. "Yeah, so anyways," She switched gears, hoping to reassure her counterpart she had some semblance of a brain. "What's up? How's my life?"
She wasn't prepared for Kikyo's excited outburst. "It's great!" She continued happily, blithely unaware her enthusiasm was met with a grimace. "I'll admit, at first I understood why you wanted out. It was so different from what I was used to. But you have a pool! How could you give that up? And Akira? Your head bodyguard? He's a great listener, y'know. Not that anything I have to tell him is true . . ." She trailed off, as if mulling over the thought.
"I'm um . . ." Kagome searched for the right phrase, "having fun too." Mentally she winced, wondering if yet another lie would come back to haunt her. But she did have fun sometimes. When she wasn't around Kouga. Or Hojo. Or Inuyasha. Well, she did have fun around Inuyasha sometimes, but he always had to go and ruin it, so he was still on the bad list.
Kikyo kept talking, seemingly uninterested in how Kagome was faring with her life; which was fine for Kagome, because she didn't have the best track record lying under stress. "And your dad is so great!" The silence on the other end turned cold, but she didn't notice. "He's actually an extremely interesting guy to talk to. It's just as well you never knew much about your social requirements, because he doesn't think I'm strange when I ask. And it's all so interesting! Do you realize how lucky you are? And I really think he's starting to like me."
She didn't want to ask. She didn't want to know. But her voice broke free from her, hesitant and strangled, hardly recognizable as her own. "You think he," She cleared her throat, but when she tried again she still sounded as if she were choking on her words. "You think he likes you?" She shut her eyes tight, willing herself to breathe steadily.
"I really do!" Kikyo's voice came across the line light and airy, as carefree and elegant as a little princess. She kept talking, but Kagome wasn't listening. She couldn't have heard if she'd wanted to. The room seemed to be pressing against her, the stillness and silence raking against her skin, trying to draw out the tears she refused to shed.
Her breathe was coming out in short, quick gasps, and she clasped a hand over the mouthpiece of the phone so the irregularity of it wouldn't be heard. Her feet moved. She was by a wall. Her back was pressing into it. And then she was sliding down it, still pushing against it. She hit the floor. Her knees bent and moved towards her chest of their own accord, her feet keeping them from relaxing onto the floor. She stared across the room, at whatever was on the floor, against the wall, or anywhere else in front of her. She stared, but she didn't see anything.
For years she'd tried to get her father to like her. If not that, just his approval would have been enough. She'd tried to be a good student, and had succeeded, but it hadn't mattered as much as she thought it would. She knew she was pretty, but that only made him more distant from her. She looked so much like her mother. But she would have given anything just to have him be proud of her, kind to her, or even just content with her. Anything but the indifference she'd always received. But she always stopped just short of changing herself completely.
But that was what he'd wanted all along.
Kikyo was still talking. Taking a deep breath, she withdrew her fingers from the mouthpiece, flexing the soreness from them as she wrapped her free arm around her knees, hugging them more tightly against her. She closed her eyes and took another, deeper, breathe.
"Wow." She said calmly, when there was finally a break. "It seems like you really . . ." She searched for the right word, "fit there." Belonged there. Like she never had.
Laughter. Kagome would have winced but her body didn't feel like moving. "No, not really. After all, I'm only here for a little while. I'm sure I could never fill the real Kagome Higurashi's shoes." No, she went out and bought a different pair. Dark red stiletto's instead of tennis shoes. "Anyways, I couldn't talk long. I'm actually going shopping today! Can you believe it? I'm going to shop at Tiffany's! I have a whole list of places!" She paused, giving another giggle. "Of course you believe it, you get to do it all the time. Okay, Akira's outside, gotta go!"
She didn't wait for a goodbye, just hung up. Something she had in common with the head of Higurashi corporations. Kagome was so used to it by now, she didn't take offense. But she did wonder if he deigned to say goodbye properly when talking to Kikyo.
She didn't cry. She put her face in her hands, clenching and unclenching her fists as her knuckles pressed sharply into her knees. But she didn't cry. Eventually she stood. Then she put the cordless phone back on its charger. Then she started unpacking her backpack to do homework.
Never had she wanted to forget Kagome Higurashi more than at that moment.
Mentally, Inuyasha rehearsed what he was going to say to her. Miroku wasn't the kind of guy he wanted his sister getting messed up with. And he certainly didn't want his best friend to get involved with a fake. And what would that do to the plan with Kouga? There were a million reasons she shouldn't go on the dumb field trip, and he was going to stuff each and every one down her throat until she agreed with him.
Of course, when he got there, he blurted out an order rather than logically trying to make her listen to him. "I've decided," He said, opening the door to her room, not bothering to close it behind him. "You're not going on that trip."
She was sitting at her desk, her back to him. For a second, he thought she looked tired, drawn out, but then she turned to face him and her eyes were blazing. "Who are you to tell me where I can and can't go? I'm not your sister. There's no relationship at all between us. If Miroku wants me to go, then you can't stop me, even if he is your best friend. I agreed to this dumb switch because I wanted to get away from people controlling my life!"
For the time being, she seemed to have conveniently forgotten that the 'dumb switch' was her idea, and he wasn't about to remind her. Instead he took a step back, assessing her. "What's wrong with you?" He asked bluntly, not bothering to soften his tone for her sake.
She glared up at him, shoulder's heaving from her outburst. "Nothing." She turned her back to him, picking up her pen as if to resume her school work. "Oh," she added, her voice offhand, disinterested. "Your sister just called." The hand with the pen gestured towards the phone sitting on its charger. "She's doing just great." The hand fell onto the desk, not slowing until it hit the wood surface with an audible thunk. "Just thought you'd like to know."
He stared at her, torn between leaving before she got any weirder, and wanting to understand just what had gotten her so tense. Obviously she hadn't enjoyed catching up with his sister. "Thanks." He said finally, hesitantly. She waved him away, as if dismissing him. He didn't move. "Did she say anything else?"
She didn't turn around. "No, not really." She kept her tone light, but her shoulders tensed. "Just that she likes it there. She's going shopping, y'know. She's really fitting in. Everyone likes her. Even my dad! Now that's something worth saying." She was rambling again, but she couldn't help it. The words tore out of her and it was all she could do to keep them from sounding bitter. "It sounds like she's having a blast." She finished lamely.
Inuyasha kept watching her. The way her shoulders tightened and then loosened. The way she struggled to keep her breathing even, and her voice calm. He could figure out what was bothering her. But with surprising insight, he knew trying to get her to talk about it would only make the situation worse. And he really wasn't sure what he could say. 'You're dad's a dope anyway, so who cares who he likes' didn't really sound right in his head. Instead, he changed the topic, putting them both on more comfortable ground. "So I take it that means you're coming on the trip?"
She dropped the pen, finally facing him. She had that tired expression again. He didn't like it. "It doesn't matter. I don't really need to-"
He cut her off. "I don't care if you go." He said snidely. "It's not like I really think Miroku would like someone like you. I just like getting you all riled up. You're so easy." He let himself ease into a smirk.
"I am not easy." She retorted, some of the fire back in his eyes, but not so much as during her outburst, which was fine with him. "You're just irritating."
He snorted, showing her exactly what he thought of that comment. "Miroku says to pick a friend and he'll invite her. I guess I'm the one 'inviting' you, so that way you'll actually like someone who's going."
Her smile was heartfelt. "Oh good." She told him sincerely. "You can tell your friend I really appreciate it." Then she seemed to recall his description of Miroku from earlier. "Or not. Use your own judgement." She grinned and he laughed.
Then she kicked him out of her room so she could do homework. This time, she was able to concentrate on it.
Sango had just finished all of her homework. She liked to work on it before school, leaving her nights free for other things. But now she was done, and school didn't start for another ten or fifteen minutes. Sighing, she tapped her pen against the corner of her desk, adamantly refusing to even think about certain people stopping by to say hi.
"Oh wow!" A girls voice. Sango forced her smile to be genuine as she turned to greet the newcomer. Kikyo was standing in the doorway, hair neat and tidy for once, rather than wildly disheveled from her rush to make it on time. "I told Inuyasha I wanted to be here on time, and he gets me here early." She explained. "I didn't think anyone would be in here yet."
Now she didn't have to make her smile real. She really was glad to see Kikyo. It used to surprise her, now she just recognized it as a fact. "I'm surprised he listened at all."
The other girl laughed and rolled her eyes. "Me too, so I guess I should be grateful. But you know," She scrunched up her forehead, as if firmly organizing her thought before voicing it. "I think he did it to be ornery. He pretended to be doing what I wanted him to, but took it too far on purpose, so that he wasn't really doing what I wanted him to."
Sango couldn't help it. She laughed out loud. Kikyo had a unique way of looking at things, especially in regards to her brother. "Of course," she added, unable to keep herself from adding to the joke. "you're assuming his plans to annoy you can be that complicated. Would he really be able to come up with all that?"
Kagome pretended to consider. "Point." She conceded. "I really was giving him too much credit." She grinned. "Oh!" Her eyes lit up. "I need to ask you something!" She immediately slid into the seat next to Sango. "You wanna go on a field trip tomorrow? My brother and his class are going and I guess he had no one else to ask. Miroku said he'd bring a friend of mine if I wanted him to."
It took all of Sango's willpower not to start when she heard his name. "Really?" She asked weakly. How awkward would that be! She wouldn't put it past the pervert to arrange it just so he could be around two hard to get girls, but if Inuyasha was the one who'd asked then maybe it wasn't like that. She spared a glance at Kikyo. She'd go whether she wanted to be around him or not. Because in all honesty, she was glad she'd been the first one Kikyo had asked. "Sure. I'll go. When is it tomorrow?"
"During school!" Kagome's grin was even bigger at the prospect of missing just one day in this nightmare of a building. "We'll get back right when it gets over. Here!" She pulled a slip of paper out of her bag. "It's one of the permission slips. Everyone needs them I guess. The teachers aren't saying where we're going. I guess it's a surprise?"
Sango snorted. "Who're the teachers?"
Kagome shrugged. "I don't know. Whoever my brother and Miroku had last period and then someone else. I don't think it matters." Her friend nodded in agreement. Being early hadn't been so bad after all. She and Sango talked until the bell rang, never finding a lapse in their conversation. If there was one thing she'd regret when she went back to her old life, it was having friends.
Okay, so this chapter was going to be a little longer. In fact, if I'd have followed the outline, it would probably have been at least three pages longer. And that's a lot! I couldn't do it! This is barely 8 pages and 8 pages is the minimum for an update on this story (anywhere between 8 and a small part of 9 generally) so I'm stopping here. Sorry to anyone who desperately wanted more, but I'm tired. It's only 8:30 but I have homework and some much needed vegging to attend to. Not to mention I'm SO FREAKING STRESSED because I had all these things I needed to do today and half of them didn't work out so I have to do them later, but I won't have time until later cuz I'm working RIGHT after school Thursday and again on Friday (Which, by the way, is my birthday) so yeah. I'm just gonna stop or the rest won't be a good chapter.
I've committed a new crime! First there was too much S/M and now there's too little! Oh well, at least I got some good I/K in there right? And yeah, more stuff coming up. It's just not here yet. Don't expect any right away. I have Saturday off from school, but I'll probably do something for my birthday. I'll type some, I promise, I just can't gurantee an update. And Sunday after church I have to see a Shakespeare play for class, and right after that church again. And then school and work on Monday. 4 nights a week at work this week, instead of 3. I'm working my way up. Soon it'll be 5. Dear goodness, I'm going to die. But, I promise not to die, until I have finished this story.
Thanks SO much for reading!!!! I'm really loving some of what you guys are saying, but I always feel guilty if I reply to some but not to others, so I think I've given up almost completely on responding.
But that doesn't mean I don't absolutely love and adore what you say! So keep talking to me please!!!
-Rogue Pryde.