A/N: This chapter should be a massive improvement on the last one, i really wanted to explain what Future Max meant about Liz knowing everything in the first chapter. I hope this kinda starts what he meant by that.

Chapter 14

3 years later. All characters are now 26 years old.

Time. It's an incredible word isn't it? Four simple letters T-I-M-E that can change your life. I guess what I never realised is that, time does change you. I'm one of those who always tried to convince myself that I would never change, but the world around me would. The simple fact is that you grow, you learn from your new environment, and you survive. There is no doubt in my mind that if I was still in Roswell, Max and I would be living a wonderful life, a big house with a white picket fence, we'd both have degrees under our belts, you know, we'd be happy, kind of idyllic really. It took me a long time to let go of that dream. And now here I am, 26 years old, on the road again to our home of almost four years now, with my husband at the wheel, writing in my journal. I do cry, I'll admit that, the others, I know they think that I don't have a mind of my own, that I do everything Max says, but he hasn't got us killed so far, right? And I am my own person, I have my own thoughts and feelings that I share with myself, and no-one else. I'm so afraid that I'm going to wake up one day and not know who I am anymore, that I'll look in the mirror and I won't see me. I think all of us have changed somehow. Isabelle and Alex are the same person, they do everything together, they whisper a lot too, which has started a few arguments in the past. Michael and Maria have another little person to look after; she's beautiful, little Sara, big brown eyes and head of blonde curly hair, two years old already, again with the time – where does it go? It makes me laugh that Michael was always the commitment phobe, y'know? And in the end, he has finally made the biggest commitment. He's always saying... "a baby, a living, breathing being is a bigger commitment than a ring of gold and a piece of paper." And the amazing thing is that Ria agrees with him! And then there's Max and I, we haven't changed, in our hearts we're still those teenagers running off to Vegas to get married; we've defied the odds really. We've gotten through all obstacles together, I really feel that there's nothing I can't do with him by my side. And that is the most amazing feeling, to know that the person that means the most to you in the whole world, your soul mate, your partner for life, will be with you always. Everybody should get to experience that feeling, total trust, totally bonded, practically the same person. There is only one secret that I keep from Max and that happened in 2000, I promised my self from that day that I would always keep that secret with me, I would take that memory to my grave......

"Liz, we're here."

.... because that secret has the power to destroy everything.

She closed the book slowly and carefully. The chain around her neck held the key to her innermost thoughts and feelings. Carefully, she locked herself away, that familiar shudder of fear running through her. Every time she closed her journal she asked herself the same questions. What if it was found? What if Max read it? What would he do? Her secrets were all that she had left of herself. Everything else she had left behind her. She wasn't even that close to her best friends anymore. Alex had changed so much, he had grown up. Physically, he was in a lot better shape, muscular, defined. His hair was a bit longer too. But he had to be strong; they all had to, because you never know just what's around the corner. She was a lot more hesitant in opening up to him these days. They had just drifted apart. She would still give her life for him, for all of them, and so would he, but the strong bond that they had, was gone, it had grown fragile in the years and had just given up. He was a lot closer to the guys now; Alex was a guy's guy. It still kind of shocked her to think that. Every now and again, when they would talk, there would be a little spark of that old Alex, or the old Liz, but it wasn't really the same, and that upset her. Maria was still her girl, her very best friend. They had both changed drastically, but their friendship refused to die, determination was always Maria's strongpoint. She would force Liz to talk, to tell her what was bothering her, and Liz always caved. Maria was the only one that knew how truly trapped Liz felt. She was born to be a mother, thinking of her with Sara brought a smile to Liz's face. It was always Maria you could count on, a type of 'Maria saves the day' thing. She held everything together, the glue, the strength, the soul. Liz was always afraid that Alex and Maria only talked to her and acknowledged her presence out of habit though; she feared that they resented the fact that she was the leader. She hadn't even known that was her role, she kinda just slipped into it. Max was the King on his home planet, Michael the second in command, fighter and soldier, and Isabelle was the princess, the heart. Now Max and Liz were the leaders, the logical thinkers, Michael and Maria the fighters and the breadwinners, it was they who made survival a reality, and Isabelle and Alex were the lookouts, the comforters, the guardians, watching and warning from a distance. After 7 years, Liz still wasn't sure that she liked her new role...

"Lizzie, yo, earth to Liz!!!"
"I'm sorry, what?"
Isabelle was standing there with her hands on her hips; the sympathy in her eyes was so obvious that Liz had to look away.
"You look tired sweetie, why don't you get some rest?"
"I'm fine thank you."
She went to sit down on the couch. Sara was on the floor with a bunch of crayons.
"Hey sweetie pie, whatcha doing?"
"Dwawing a piccur. Daddy said he make panakes for dinnuh. But only if it's comprwmble."
"Comprehendible?"
A puzzled look and a nod, sending ringlets flying everywhere.
"That's great."
A beaming smile and the blonde head returned to the task at hand, a look of fierce concentration on her face.
"Here, drink this and please take a nap or something."
At the word nap, Sara's worried face shot up.
"Don't like naps."
Isabelle smiled at her. Liz sipped the drink and started coughing.
"What is that?"
Isabelle looked puzzled.
"Michael was in the kitchen he said to give it to you and that it would 'perk you up', why what's wrong with it?"
"I think its rum."
"Just drink it Liz."
She did as she was told.
"You know what your problem is Liz? You over analyse things. You have to stop worrying about others and worry about yourself. Live for today, that's my motto."
"That's Alex's motto"
She shrugged.
"Makes sense."
Liz ran her finger round the rim of the cup.
"Yeah, cause there might not be a tomorrow right?"
Isabelle nodded.
"Daddy...."
No answer.
"Daddy!"
Silence.
"DADDY!!!"
"WHAT??"
Michael entered the room; his hair looked tousled, almost like he'd been trying to pull it out of his head. Sara smiled sweetly up at him. He visibly melted.
"Done."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Already?"
"Uh huh. That's ouw house the castle, me the butifulest, cause I the pwincess, momma, you, unca max, auntie lisss, unca alex, and aunty issy. See? It's good huh?"
He picked it up.
"I think this should go on the fridge door of fame."
He walked towards the kitchen, she ran after him, her little legs trying to keep up.
"And panakes daddy, panakes!!"

...So as I was saying, time is this amazing thing. It controls you, makes decisions for you. Today, I learned that it's not really that important to me. It's how you use it that's important, because it's there for your use. Sara has so much time ahead of her, who knows what she will do with it. I only hope I'm there to help her along the way. As much as I give out all the time, I do love life. My own, hers, everyone's. Life can be what ever you want it to be. I don't understand why Max would want me to give up this. Yes, my family of friends have drifted, kind of, but when it comes down to it, I know they're there when I need them. We have all we need; we have happiness most of the time and air in our lungs, what more do we need? And I hope I don't sound selfish when I say this, but I wouldn't give up this life I lead, this path I've chosen, for the world, even if it does mean the end of it....