PRE-A/N: Frickin' A, I did it again! I left the paper I wrote down all the people I wanted to write back to at the library. Sigh. Oh, well. Just know that there were a couple of you.

Ish, I think, for the Bush/pretzel joke. Hearty giggle from that one. And somebody else who said something and I wanted to say something back, but I can't remember who it was, much less what I was going to say in return. Maybe I should start taking ginseng pills to help my memory. Or was that gingko baloba? See!?! I suffer from an acute case of CRS- can't remember shit.

Ya know what, let's just go back to the story. Remember, the Brotherhood have finally made an appearance, but, I'm sorry to break your hearts (OO! I remember something! Somebody really likes Pietro. Why?) but the BoM are not staying for too long. Except for Pyro, cuz he's so damn fun. #%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%

St. John had one foot propped up on the tile fountain edge, and was leaning down to talk to Roberto. He was flirting openly, and Robert, poor boy, didn't quite know what to do about that. Meanwhile, the rest of the BoM were scattered about the fountain. Pietro was zipping around and generally making a pest of himself, every once in a while stopping by Pyro and adding a comment with a sour scowl on his face. Of course, when didn't Pietro have a sour scowl on his face.

Fred was rocking back and forth on his heels ever so slightly, possibly afraid that more than a small lean to either direction would make him topple over. He was looking around at all of the shoppers and generally zoning out. Lance was standing a little behind John, fidgeting and scanning the crowd. Todd was obviously falling all over himself for Wanda, who was tapping her foot and using a little bit of her powers to hex a large crumb from someone's peanut butter cookie across the floor.

The group of girls and Sam paused about thirty feet away from the gaggle of mutants. Sam was scowling. He hated what was going on, and was seriously debating on whether or not to speak to these people ever again after the day was over.

"Ah really don' wanna do this."

Tabitha looked over at Sam and sighed a little, a surprisingly serious look on her face. "Do you not want to because you really don't, or because you're scared to find out and have to rethink yourself?"

Sam looked away and couldn't answer. Tab took a bit of pity on him and slung her arm around his shoulders. "Look, I know bi's not the same thing as gay, but it wasn't exactly all roses having to break it to my mom that I was taking another chick to my freshman homecoming back when I still lived with her."

At the looks that Tabitha got, she shrugged. She'd assumed that it wasn't a secret. "Oh, come on guys. You didn't figure it out by now? 'Hard in the middle, soft in the middle, I like all the chocolates in the box.'" (A/N: that's a quote I got from my friend, who got it from a movie I don't remember the title to.)

Sam grumbled for another minute. "Fine. Ah might as well get this ovah with, or y'all're nevah gonna give me any peace about it."

The group trooped forward again, except for Kitty. She couldn't face Lance just yet, so she phased through the floor and went to Cinnibun. Lance wasn't blind. He noticed her not so quick escape and stomped off to sulk. It was just not his freaking day!

Wanda noticed the parade of teeny-boppers- and one blond transvestite- headed her way and scowled, rather like her brother. She stalked off toward Spencer's, leaving the geek patrol behind. She was here to get a set of glow-in-the-dark beaded curtains for her room, anyway. Just because the rest of the house looked like trash didn't mean that her bedroom had to, too.

Todd, of course, followed her.

Fred noticed Sam in drag and got very frightened, so he went off to the food court to get some lunch.

Tabitha called to John, who immediately focused all of his attention on the easy score. She smirked knowingly at him and jerked her head towards the bathrooms close by. St. John nodded, but, before he jogged over to Tabby, he looked down at the semi-dumbfounded, and very embarrassed, Brazilian he'd been talking to a second ago. He bent down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then went off to go give the security guards a reason to kick him and Tabitha out of the mall.

Roberto childishly wiped at the kiss and glared after John. This would probably have been more impressive if he wasn't bright red underneath his natural skin tone.

"Ya such a slut, ya know that?" Sam muttered.

Roberto looked at him like he was a mute who'd suddenly started spouting off in five different languages. "So you're talking to me now? And, what the hell do you mean by that?!"

"Pyro, Roberto?" Sam asked, nodding to where St. John and Tabitha had scampered off to. "Ah thought ya'd at least have mo' class than that."

"Okay, one: jealous much?" Roberto challenged. "Two: it's none of your business, anyway. And three: he was flirting with me. And Pietro. And Wanda. And Lance, come to think of it. Now he is a slut. Besides, it was just a peck on the cheek."

"Speaking of kissing..." Rahne reminded Sam.

Sam's face darkened once again. He looked down at the guy who'd started the morning off as his friend. "Come on," he said, committed to getting it over with.

"Why?" Roberto asked suspiciously. "Where?"

"Ah'll explain when we get there."

Roberto crossed his arms in front of his chest and refused to budge. Sam rolled his eyes- so childish.

"Outside," Sam said. "Ta do an experiment. Ah'll explain the rest as we go, 'kay?"

Roberto looked at the eager faces of the girls around them. This could only be bad, he thought to himself. They never have that look on their faces unless it's going to be bad. After a few more seconds, though, he sighed and stood up. The girls giggled. Yup, definitely bad.

Sam managed to convince the girls that they didn't need an audience. He could collect his own damn data in privacy, thank you. (A/N: Sam seems the type to keep to a promise even if nobody's around to know whether or not he did. He's got 'honorable' written all over him.) Roberto just nodded and hoped he knew what the hell he was getting himself into by saying yes.

Without once looking at Roberto, Sam explained Rahne's plan as they walked. In the walk-in space between the inside and outside doors leading to the parking lot, Roberto stopped short. He'd heard some damn stupid things in his life- mostly from Bobby- but this was just effed-up completely.

"So you're saying that I'm your guinea pig?!" he asked. "You kiss me, and then you just decide on that one kiss."

"Basic'ly" Sam said, pushing open the outside door. "Can we get this ovah with?"

Roberto was absolutely furious, and frustrated as hell. This was stupid. This was ridiculous. This was completely disregarding his feelings on the matter! On the other hand, if he was going to have to deal with guys like Pyro eventually, wasn't it better to have some experience? In the end, being a horny teenage male- regardless of sexual preference- won out.

"Fine, let's go."

Sam's mind kicked into overdrive. Where would they do this? The corner was occupied by a Dillerd's employee on a smoke break. They weren't allowed behind the gated wall- that was for merchandise being unloaded from the trucks. The only place Sam could think of was...

"Let's go ovah ta Jean's SUV."

Roberto rolled his eyes and shrugged. A second later both boys were trying to locate the green SUV.

"Is it over there?"

"Which isle was it in?"

"It is green, right?"

"Umm."

"Is this one hers?" Roberto asked as they were walking.

"No. She doesn't have a Jesus air freshnah. That 'un ovah there looks like it has her NHS cord...yep!" Sam announced joyfully at his success in finding the right vehicle.

Then they discovered something else.

"It's locked!"

Sam looked up at the sky beseechingly. "It's cuz Ah made fun o' the Jesus air freshnah, isn' it?"

Roberto chuckled and watched Sam pout at the SUV, kicking one of the tires. He had to admit, the boy had a nice pout. It took Sam a moment, but he eventually felt Roberto's eyes on him and was just as surprised to find that he didn't mind.

Jean was in the arcade, completely out of quarters. She was starting to worry that she might be developing an addiction to pinball. She needed another fix. She quickly used her powers to scan the mall to see if anyone was near the end where her SUV was parked so that they could go grab her some of the change she knew was in there. She was sure that there were some quarters left over from when Bobby had iced the pipes at the Institute and she'd had to go to the laundry mat to wash her clothes. She'd have gone to get them herself, but she was afraid that somebody might try to steal her machine.

It was by pure, honest luck that she found Roberto and Sam already at her car. A short- and, alright, completely unethical- reading of their surface thoughts clued her in on what was going on. And so, as unobtrusively as she could manage, she concentrated on her car doors...and opened the locks.

Sam and Roberto looked at the car.

"Jean's spying on us!" Roberto exclaimed.

[Crap!] Sam mentally yelled.

Jean giggled from the arcade, but let them have their privacy.

Sam shook his head and looked at the other boy. "Roberto, Ah cain't do this. Not with Jean watchin'. We'll finish this aftah the mall."

Finally, Roberto got fed up. There was only so much disregard for his emotions he could take. "To hell with that!" he snapped.

Sam's eyebrows went up just before the thinner of the two shoved him back against the SUV door. Roberto was no longer in a complying mood.

"What a-" Sam managed to get out just before Roberto's mouth landed on Sam's, cutting him off. He mumbled and tried to get Roberto to back off for about two seconds. Finally figuring, 'What the hell? Ah'm here anyway,' Sam just took it all in for a while. The two of them were suddenly sharing a nervous, unsure kiss with growing enthusiasm in the parking lot of the mall, between Jean's SUV and a white utility van. It wasn't exactly private, but it was close enough with no one coming upon them suddenly.

Roberto eased back after a bit. They both opened their eyes, not having realized that they were even closed, and stared at each other for a few moments. Sam cleared his throat. Roberto took a step back.

"Well...tha' was..." Sam tried to think of something to say.

"Yeah," Roberto nodded. "Not too bad. So," he tried to joke, "we gonna do this again?"