Nurnoleiel Starseeker: I understand what you are trying to say. Yes, Enovan is talking to Xan, that is why its informal, since he is actually saying it to him. And yes, I like to write about vampires, call it an obession. ;) As to that particular fic, by the time this is up, that should be updated as well. Thanks for giving this a chance.
Mistress Minako: Thanks for the comments. I'm glad you like my little blend, and my other stories. I admit, I haven't seen a vampire Jedi before this either, so I decided to give it a shot.
Ilona1: Xanatos is one of my fav SW chars as well. Glad you love this, and the angst.
Sorry to keep you all waiting for so long, here is the next part. Hope you enjoy it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The first things I learned about you after you told me your name was that you were two years older then me, was in the advanced classes, and was the son of a wealthy family on Telos. The first few things you learned about me was my full name, after I got over my shyness, that I was going to be joining some of your classes because I had surpassed most of the others in my group because my Masters taught me from the moment I could speak. A few other things you learned, and you got slightly puzzled as I tried to explain why to you, was that I couldn't play, and I couldn't eat or drink regular food. In fact, at that time, I had zero substance, didn't need it, as vampire children don't take any substance till they are able to take blood. But considering I didn't care to do either eat or drink, not then, not now, it makes little difference. I still see food and drink as a rather mortal thing.
Finally, I see you smile, and I'm glad, though my heart still pangs for the innocence we've lost. Once I believed that as long as you could smile, even in the worst situation, everything would be fine. We would get out, heal, and storm off for another adventure. But that isn't the case now, is it Xan?
That first day with you was nerve wreaking for a young vampire like I was back then, but you made sure I couldn't back out by keeping a tight hold on my hand.
"Come on, Enovan," you had chirped happily, dragging me into the thickest group of children, who seemed to be in the middle of playing pretend.
"Xani, you actually got away from Zeb?!" a young girl asked as she approached us, her eyes already looking you over for injuries.
I was stunned by the looks of her, and from then on, I had feelings for her deep within my heart. You know of whom I speak. Our dear sparkling aqua eyed lady, M'jah.
"I'm fine, M'jah, and I did, thanks to Enovan," you said and grinned, pushing me forward.
She looked to my confused and shy face, and smiled appreciatively before tackling me in a grateful hug.
"Oh, thank you for saving Xani!" she giggled and pulled away.
"I didn't do much..." I trailed off.
"He did too, he distracted Zeb until I could get Master Se'," you said, that little grin still on your face.
"You're so brave. Zeb can be scary at times," she said, smiling a little wider at me before taking my hand, "Come on, you can play with us. And protect Xan of course," she finished and winked at you.
"I don't need protecting, M'jah," you muttered playfully, rolling your expressive eyes.
"Whatever, Xan," she giggled.
I always loved M'jah´s giggles, they always warmed my soul. Even now, near the end, I can hear them, and my heart is beating in sorrow and joy mixed. Oh, I have missed her giggles. She hasn't laughed or giggled, or even smiled since things began to fall apart... I had best continue, time is short....
"Play?" I asked, uncertain.
You both turned to me, looks of shared confusion on your faces.
"Don't you know how to play?" she asked.
"No...." I said, looking at both of you, wondering if I said something wrong.
"Oh dear, Xan, looks like we need to help your friend," she said, trying to act as serious as an adult, and she nearly made it if not for the twinkle in her eyes.
"I think so," you said, not even trying to be serious, that infuriating grin sneaking further onto your face before you grabbed my other hand again and helped her drag me into the fray.
"Xan, back already?" a young boy asked.
"You bet, Bor," you said, then coughed loudly to get everyone's attention.
They turned to you, and I was shocked by the respect I sensed in the air. They respected and loved you Xan. You protected them from bullies like Zeb, yet they couldn't protect you when you needed them.
"Alright, where did we leave off?" you asked, letting go of my hand.
"Hmm, well, the Council," the boy, Bor, pointed to himself and six other children, "Was sending you and a set of knights to fight the Sith," he said, pointing to a group of children off to the side.
"Ah, thanks. Hey, Enovan, want to be my fellow knight? M'jah is already my Padawan," you said.
"I guess... How does this go?" I asked, thoroughly confused.
"Just pretend," you said.
"What is this pretend?" I asked, wondering how I could even begin to fit in if I couldn't even pretend, or knew what it was.
"It is when you become something you are not, just for fun. Like becoming a knight, playing as a knight going on great adventures, like we will when we become Padawans," you explained, patiently doing so, for which I was eternally grateful.
"I think I get the idea," I said, still uncertain, but wanting to remain a friend to you.
"Great, hopefully you'll understand after we play for a bit," you said, and then raised your voice, slipping into pretend mode, "Come, my fellow knights, we shall vanquish this foe!"
This launched us into my first game of play. I had never before known what fun truly was until that, and even to this day I wander at the feeling. At then end of it, when the teachers had called us to supper and then bed, I knew I had made my first true friends, and I was happy.
The years passed in much the same way. We were taught our lessons, we played, you ate and I began to jab you after a while about being mortal. But I didn't realize how much a curse my own immortality was, until I had to pay the price, and you paid it with me. And for that, I shall always feel guilty, and yet shall always thank the Force in the same breath. So much pain and joy came out of such a mistake.
They still can't explain what happened. The only thing they could tell me was that I had a dysfunction in my system, and that it sped up my evolution to adult vampire, but destroyed my aggression levels. Very strange, a genetic thing is what they blamed it on. It was also the thing that produced my ability to link into the Force. So much came out of one genetic malfunction; one little tremble in one being's body caused all of this. It's depressing and amusing at the same time.
I remember that night our lives changed forever. I can remember it better then most of the nights following or the days after. The night I sealed our fates together, the night we doomed ourselves to die out here on this barren land. You remember it too; I can see that in your still soulful eyes.
That day I had awaken to a new sensation, a sensation I had only had described to me. I should have heeded my body's warning; I should have gone to Neron. But I didn't know it could lead to anything damaging; I didn't think it was worth the attention. It was just a mild ache in the pit of my stomach, from when you used to find running from Yoda fun, after you made him mad, until you rammed into me and threw us both down the stairs. Of course, I only got a stomach pain and a bit of a headache, and you faired all right, considering you always found a way to land on me instead of me ending up on you. Still haven't figured out how you did that...
Ah, a dry chuckle from you and a soft voice to continue it, "And I suppose you never will."
Well, I guess not. But you can keep your secrets, Xan, I don't want to know. I've got to keep my own as well, you know.
As it was, I didn't really notice the slight pain until about dinnertime. I remember sitting by you, watching you devour everything on your plate with that strange appetite of yours. I remember your Master didn't know what to do with your, hungry one minute, won't touch a bite the next, appetite, but we'll get to that later.
Something attracted me to the meat of your meal. Don't ask me what, I couldn't tell you. It could be that the sauce looked like blood, or that I could smell the slight residue of real blood in the processed meat. Oh, I'm making you sick, sorry.
"Xan, can I try a little of your meat?" I asked, looking away from the strongly enticing meat to your face with a look of pure pleading, something I had picked up from you.
"I've taught you too well," you laughed, then looked at me curiously, "But I thought vamps didn't get hungry."
"We don't, I'm just curious," I lied, surprisingly for the first time to you.
"Alright," you said, offering your fork to me.
So I tried my first and almost last piece of meat, and was sick from it. But I held it in, and handed you back your fork.
"Are you okay?" you asked, worry flickering in your eyes.
"Yes, I'm alright. Mortal food doesn't seem to agree with me though," I said, and found I kept glancing at your bare neck.
"Maybe you should go see a healer, you don't look too well," you commented, not noticing my brief glances from your face.
"No, no, I'll be fine," I assured you, and though you were leery, you relented, quickly finishing your meal with a flourish of activity.
Soon we were all sent to bed. At that time, the crèche Masters had thought it wise to put students two to a room. By some strange twist of fate, we ended up in the same room, which ended up being a good and bad thing.
I remember the first night I slept there, I was so nervous. Half because I didn't know how humans slept, though vampires generally tend to sleep with our eyes open. I halfway freaked when I first saw you sleep with your eyes closed, I thought you were dead. After I woke you up, you explained to me how humans sleep, and from then on, I had the nerve to call such rest the sleep of the dead. Strange how things seem to come back to you when you're going to die....
The other reason was that I had always slept in a room alone. Sharing was not something I was familiar with, but to keep at least one friend not scared of me, I endured it, and soon couldn't really revert back when I became a Padawan.
Sorry, I'm getting off subject again. My mind wonders more these days, must be the starvation.
As it is, I awoke that night to tremendous hunger, and panicked. That was something I had never done. Before, I had never known the true definition of fear and utter bewilderment until that night. And so I turned to you sleeping in your mound of blankets, and I could hear and feel your heart beat resound within me, as easily as I could already taste your blood. At first I tried to fight it, at first I struggled to consider going to the healers. But in the end, the hunger overwhelmed my passive nature, and forced me to your bedside.
"Xan, wake up," I whispered in your ear, and then leaned back to watch you stir.
Dark eye lashes fluttered open, to reveal your ever-intense blue eyes.
"Eno? What's wrong?" you asked sleepily, sitting up.
"Xan," I bit my lip, and you gasped.
"Enovan, are you hungry?" you asked, staring at my mouth.
Reaching up, my fingers brushed my newly formed, sharp, fangs, and I gasped as well. I knew then what was happening, and I was frightened. I couldn't go to the healers, they would keep me away from everyone, or so I believed at the time. But I couldn't control the hunger either; already I was staring at your neck, hunger visible in my every move.
"Yes, Xan," I said softly, fear and hunger melding in my voice.
"How much do you need?" you asked suddenly, surprising me with your conviction.
I should have realized you thought the same way as I. Neither of us wanted to lose our best friend, and together we were about to make the worst mistake of our lives, yet the greatest victory in the same breath. Amazing how such things have a double blade to them.
"A little, I think, I don't want to hurt you," I said softly.
"I know," you said, ever trusting, as you moved aside so I could sit on your bed.
Rising, I sat by your side, and reached gentle fingers out to brush your hair away. It was long even in those days, and Force knows you rarely cut it then. Moving closer, I stared at your pale pulsing flesh, and knew not what to do. I know, it sounds ridicules, a vampire not being able to feed, but I didn't.
So, delving into my rising vampire instinct, I let it move forward, and I suddenly found myself moving towards your neck, and sinking newly formed fangs straight into that ever-ready flesh. You tensed at the invasion, but didn't move, knowing it would hurt more if you did.
Blood flooded from the wounds I made upon your flawless skin, and the second I tasted it, I knew I would never forsake you. Fire ignited my nerves, trailing through me, feeding my hunger to breathtaking levels. I nearly pulled away, nearly. But my hunger held my reason captive, and I let it, drawing even deeper upon your essence. Your emotions, your thoughts, your memories flooded me, swirling into me and becoming apart of my own soul, warming my near still heart. Wonder and terror filled me at such a sensation, and like a drug, it pulled me on. I could feel your body relax against mine, your wonder, pain, and intense pleasure ringing through my own soul. I couldn't get enough, wouldn't be able to. For a brief moment, we touched and held each other's souls, and in that one moment, I gave you the oath that binds me to you, even now. The one that has signed our deaths.
/Ever and always, till the earth and sky fade, and even after, I shall hold you within my soul. Come what will, come what has, come what shall, I will never forsake you, nor injury you, but always protect you. Always you will be of me, and I shall be of you. For you are mine, and are my blood bonded, and I am your protector,/ I had sent to your slowly dying mind, unaware of what I meant, until it came ringing back to me in the later ages.
Ah, such a simple oath, the oath spoken by all of my people since our evolution. How could such as that bring such problems.
At that time, I did not realize I was killing you, until I felt your heart try to match my slow heart. Forcing myself away, terror filled me as your body slumped against me, seemingly lifeless.
"Xan!" I called, shaking you gently, then harder.
Your head whipped back and forth, but your eyes stayed close, and pure horror filled my soul. Yet above it all, I knew I had not killed you, for I sensed your heart, shallow and slow, but there, and I knew what I had to do.
Lowering your body to the bed, I stood, and rushed off to the healers, knowing that this could have ended with me getting kicked out, and not caring. My soul was bond to that oath, and no matter what harm came to me, I would always protect you.
For days on end after that, the Healers would not let me see you, and the crèche Masters kept me locked away from the others, afraid I would do further damage. I spent much of that time thinking over what had happened, though to my simple mind then, much of if did not make sense. What I could make sense of was that I had just changed both of our lives forever, and nothing would ever be the same again. I didn't question how I knew this, I just did, and my soul quivered at the thought. I lost count of the days I sat on my bed, worrying about you, and thinking of what I had done. I was afraid for you, yet every time I asked one of the Masters who came to check upon me, they could say little more then that you were fine.
Finally the ban seemed to be lifted, when a Master, not of the crèche, but a regular Jedi Master, came to my room. I remember his every stance, his every move, his every glance. I remember his sharp, fearless gray orbs looking down into mine, his strong face set into an unreadable expression. And then he smiled ever so slightly, and knelt in front of me.
"Your friend Xanatos is fine, and I am going to take you to see him in a little while. But first I want to talk with you, and access what has happened, with your permission, of course," he said,
I nodded, unsure of where this would lead, but I felt no distrust for the Master before me, nor did I sense any fear from him. I did not need to distrust him, and he knew not to fear me, because he was of the few that had actually worked with my kind, there had even been rumors he had blood bonded with a vampire, who had died a while before. My dearest confident, besides you, my future Master, was there. But we shall get to that soon.
He asked me questions, took a few blood samples, asked me more questions, and I did the best I could to comply. But I couldn't answer everything, yet he did not seem angry with this, only sad at the lack of knowledge I knew about my kind. Then he taught me, made me understand more. That our bonding had been a mistake, and was unchangeable now. He taught me my responsibilities to you, to protect my protector, to honor the blood of our union, to be devoted, to never cause you harm, those were of the things he taught me that day. I have always been grateful to him, because without him, I would have failed at my duties. Good thing he has already joined the Force, for I fear he would be disappointed now.
Finally he stood, and took me by the hand. I allowed it, and smiled at his warm touch as he headed towards the door. He led me calmly down the halls, and finally to the healers ward. Leaving me at the door, he went and gave the blood samples to a healer, then turned back to me, that gentle smile of his on his lips. That is one of the things I've always missed since Master passed on, his heart-warming smiles. Everything always felt better after he smiled, and there was only one time when it failed to make it so, when he died.
Forgive the tears, I've never grieved for him, I couldn't. The pain had been too much to let me do so, and I had to grieve for you first, as he always said, you came first. I wish I could cry true tears, of water instead of blood, but it is just another curse of my kind.
I've got to continue, or I won't finish. Time and my own emotions are against me.
He gestured me forward, and I came quietly, just slightly afraid, because of the healers' strange looks upon me, and of how you would react when you saw me. Would you hate me for almost killing you? Would you reject our deadly bond? Would you reject me? I couldn't have handled it if you did, and so I feared.
We went directly to your room, and he opened the door for me, before gesturing me forward. I hesitated, and glanced in to see your pale form lying lifeless on a huge white bed in the middle of the room. Nervously I glanced at him, then you, unsure of what to do. I had never been so nervous, so utterly terrified of something related to you. Yet I stepped forward, and the door slid close behind me, leaving us alone. Slowly I walked forward, my eyes locked on your pale face. I saw the monitors and fluids connected to you from the corner of my eye, and my heart shuddered. I had done this to you, and I could only hope you would recover.
Finally I reached your bedside and looked down upon you, studying your pale form with suddenly knowing eyes. I knew you, every piece and parcel of your soul had been apart of me during our bonding, and thus I knew you. I could feel it as if you were whispering it to me, that it wasn't my fault that I was who I was, I didn't ask to be this, and yet, the Force had wanted it. I felt it; you knew it deep within, and together, it made sense. Thus, I felt that you were fine, just tired from being drained of your blood and life force. Nothing could hold down your formable soul.
Just as I was studying you, your eyes opened to look upon me, and a weak smile lit up your face, "What a rush, huh?" you asked softly.
"So it was, and it'll take forever to get your emotions out of my blood. Ai, who would have thought you mortals were so complicated," I groaned playfully, taking your right hand in mine, noting the slightly cool flesh.
"We mortals are rather surprising. And if you get the urge to jump down a flight of stairs anytime soon, don't blame me," you whispered, your eyes twinkling with mirth.
"I'll just have to resist it," I laughed slightly, before I sat down upon the edge of your bed, seriousness sweeping over me as I thought over my next words.
"What is it, Eno?" you asked, catching onto my serious mood.
"Xan, I've got something to tell you. First, I want to apologize..." you cut me off quickly.
"Apologize for what? It was much my deed as it was yours, I knew what you were going to do, I knew there was risk to me, and I accepted that risk. I'm seven now, I can make my own decisions, Enovan," you mocked scowled, though a triumphant sparkle lit up in your eyes, "And the feeling of it was worth the risk, as I said, it was quite a rush. But let me take a shot at what the other matter is. Would it have anything to do with this?"
A gasp escaped me as I felt a sharp, noticeable pull on the blood bond between us, my eyes widening steadily as I felt a tendril of your thoughts touching mine. Looking to you, I noticed your grin, for you obviously enjoyed surprising me.
"How?" I couldn't bring myself to ask you in full, but you understood what I meant, and your grin got wider if that was possible.
"I discovered it when I woke the first time, though I haven't really had the time to mess with it, until now of course," you said, then looked at me with questioning eyes, "This is what you call a blood bond, right?"
I nodded, for I remembered telling you about how my society works on Atan, where vampires, called Atare', are rulers, and the mortal race is only slightly below us in status. I remembered telling you of how humans were bonded to vampires for the rest of their lives by a blood bond. But I never understood, until then, just how much more the blood bond was besides a simple feeding channel. And so I explained to you all that I knew of it, and what my duties were to you, as what your duties were to me, and through it all you listened until I was finished. Then you lay back, your eyes half closed as you thought, your hand resting still within my own small ones. Silence wove around us, becoming thicker and thicker, to the point I wondered if I would stop breathing, until you finally broke the silence.
"I do not like the thought of being owned," you said thoughtfully, still staring up at the ceiling.
"It is a formality, it is not like it is on Atan, you are not a slave, nor owned by me," I whispered, looking down at the white sheets of your bed.
"Yet I feel you own a piece of my soul now," you said, still not glancing at me.
"You own a piece of mine as well, for what you suffer, I will suffer. Your pain will be mine, your tears my own, your shattered hopes are the fragments of mine. I can't live without you now, for as long as you live, I will never be able to take another's blood, and thus would die if you rejected me," I said softly; looking up to find you gazing at me, understanding in your eyes.
"Then we both own a piece of each other's souls. I won't reject you; you're my best friend, I would have to be a Sith to sentence you to that fate," you said, and grinned suddenly, "Besides, M'jah can stop bugging me about getting hurt, now that I have you to 'guard' me."
"As if you needed guarding. I'll only have to save you from insane green trolls, and staircases, but I do that already," I laughed slightly, "But, I think I can do something to get you out of this bed faster, if you trust me?"
"Eno, that is the saddest question to ask after I've let you drain two thirds of my blood away. If I didn't trust you, why would I have let you?" you rolled your eyes in mock expiration.
"Right, oh high one," I said, laughing a bit more, "Then you won't mind if I do this," I then raised your hand to my lips, and bit down into the soft flesh of the top of your hand.
You grimaced, but didn't pull away as I began feeding my gift into your veins, by way of clear liquid that constantly coated my sharp canines. This liquid was one of the forms of life force a vampire produces from the blood he or she takes, and it has several properties, the most common being that of creating a new vampire outside the bonds of courtship, or to restore a piece of the life force we take from our bonded. Thus I gave this to you, and then sat back to see if what I had only been taught that morning would actually work.
The first thing I noticed was that your eyes brightened, becoming sharper as the last of your weariness melted away. Your pale skin became pinker, shimmering with a healthy light as it became warmer to the touch. Sitting up, your gingerly flexed your free arm and hand, then wiggled your feet and toes, before looking up to me, a true smile upon your face. I'll never forget that look, it was as if someone had given you the greatest gift in the world, and you would never regret it. But you did, later on. I can still hear your screams now, cursing me for giving you back your strength, for keeping you alive for so long. Oh, Xan, I just can't bear to regret it myself, but you'll see why. We still have a ways to go yet.
"What was that, or do I really want to know?" you asked, raising a midnight black eyebrow as you looked to me.
"Vampire saliva, if you really want to know," I said, failing to hide the wicked gleam in my eyes.
"Eww, and to think that is floating around in my veins!" you scrunched up your face in a disgusted look, though I knew you were halfway joking.
"What? I could have left you in this bed for a few more days," I said, scrambling off the bed.
"You wouldn't have," you said, pouting ever so slightly, still joking.
"Oh?" I asked, raising my silver eyebrow in a mock expression of one of your favorite moods, then scrambled out the door, to tell a healer of your improved state.
Mistress Minako: Thanks for the comments. I'm glad you like my little blend, and my other stories. I admit, I haven't seen a vampire Jedi before this either, so I decided to give it a shot.
Ilona1: Xanatos is one of my fav SW chars as well. Glad you love this, and the angst.
Sorry to keep you all waiting for so long, here is the next part. Hope you enjoy it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The first things I learned about you after you told me your name was that you were two years older then me, was in the advanced classes, and was the son of a wealthy family on Telos. The first few things you learned about me was my full name, after I got over my shyness, that I was going to be joining some of your classes because I had surpassed most of the others in my group because my Masters taught me from the moment I could speak. A few other things you learned, and you got slightly puzzled as I tried to explain why to you, was that I couldn't play, and I couldn't eat or drink regular food. In fact, at that time, I had zero substance, didn't need it, as vampire children don't take any substance till they are able to take blood. But considering I didn't care to do either eat or drink, not then, not now, it makes little difference. I still see food and drink as a rather mortal thing.
Finally, I see you smile, and I'm glad, though my heart still pangs for the innocence we've lost. Once I believed that as long as you could smile, even in the worst situation, everything would be fine. We would get out, heal, and storm off for another adventure. But that isn't the case now, is it Xan?
That first day with you was nerve wreaking for a young vampire like I was back then, but you made sure I couldn't back out by keeping a tight hold on my hand.
"Come on, Enovan," you had chirped happily, dragging me into the thickest group of children, who seemed to be in the middle of playing pretend.
"Xani, you actually got away from Zeb?!" a young girl asked as she approached us, her eyes already looking you over for injuries.
I was stunned by the looks of her, and from then on, I had feelings for her deep within my heart. You know of whom I speak. Our dear sparkling aqua eyed lady, M'jah.
"I'm fine, M'jah, and I did, thanks to Enovan," you said and grinned, pushing me forward.
She looked to my confused and shy face, and smiled appreciatively before tackling me in a grateful hug.
"Oh, thank you for saving Xani!" she giggled and pulled away.
"I didn't do much..." I trailed off.
"He did too, he distracted Zeb until I could get Master Se'," you said, that little grin still on your face.
"You're so brave. Zeb can be scary at times," she said, smiling a little wider at me before taking my hand, "Come on, you can play with us. And protect Xan of course," she finished and winked at you.
"I don't need protecting, M'jah," you muttered playfully, rolling your expressive eyes.
"Whatever, Xan," she giggled.
I always loved M'jah´s giggles, they always warmed my soul. Even now, near the end, I can hear them, and my heart is beating in sorrow and joy mixed. Oh, I have missed her giggles. She hasn't laughed or giggled, or even smiled since things began to fall apart... I had best continue, time is short....
"Play?" I asked, uncertain.
You both turned to me, looks of shared confusion on your faces.
"Don't you know how to play?" she asked.
"No...." I said, looking at both of you, wondering if I said something wrong.
"Oh dear, Xan, looks like we need to help your friend," she said, trying to act as serious as an adult, and she nearly made it if not for the twinkle in her eyes.
"I think so," you said, not even trying to be serious, that infuriating grin sneaking further onto your face before you grabbed my other hand again and helped her drag me into the fray.
"Xan, back already?" a young boy asked.
"You bet, Bor," you said, then coughed loudly to get everyone's attention.
They turned to you, and I was shocked by the respect I sensed in the air. They respected and loved you Xan. You protected them from bullies like Zeb, yet they couldn't protect you when you needed them.
"Alright, where did we leave off?" you asked, letting go of my hand.
"Hmm, well, the Council," the boy, Bor, pointed to himself and six other children, "Was sending you and a set of knights to fight the Sith," he said, pointing to a group of children off to the side.
"Ah, thanks. Hey, Enovan, want to be my fellow knight? M'jah is already my Padawan," you said.
"I guess... How does this go?" I asked, thoroughly confused.
"Just pretend," you said.
"What is this pretend?" I asked, wondering how I could even begin to fit in if I couldn't even pretend, or knew what it was.
"It is when you become something you are not, just for fun. Like becoming a knight, playing as a knight going on great adventures, like we will when we become Padawans," you explained, patiently doing so, for which I was eternally grateful.
"I think I get the idea," I said, still uncertain, but wanting to remain a friend to you.
"Great, hopefully you'll understand after we play for a bit," you said, and then raised your voice, slipping into pretend mode, "Come, my fellow knights, we shall vanquish this foe!"
This launched us into my first game of play. I had never before known what fun truly was until that, and even to this day I wander at the feeling. At then end of it, when the teachers had called us to supper and then bed, I knew I had made my first true friends, and I was happy.
The years passed in much the same way. We were taught our lessons, we played, you ate and I began to jab you after a while about being mortal. But I didn't realize how much a curse my own immortality was, until I had to pay the price, and you paid it with me. And for that, I shall always feel guilty, and yet shall always thank the Force in the same breath. So much pain and joy came out of such a mistake.
They still can't explain what happened. The only thing they could tell me was that I had a dysfunction in my system, and that it sped up my evolution to adult vampire, but destroyed my aggression levels. Very strange, a genetic thing is what they blamed it on. It was also the thing that produced my ability to link into the Force. So much came out of one genetic malfunction; one little tremble in one being's body caused all of this. It's depressing and amusing at the same time.
I remember that night our lives changed forever. I can remember it better then most of the nights following or the days after. The night I sealed our fates together, the night we doomed ourselves to die out here on this barren land. You remember it too; I can see that in your still soulful eyes.
That day I had awaken to a new sensation, a sensation I had only had described to me. I should have heeded my body's warning; I should have gone to Neron. But I didn't know it could lead to anything damaging; I didn't think it was worth the attention. It was just a mild ache in the pit of my stomach, from when you used to find running from Yoda fun, after you made him mad, until you rammed into me and threw us both down the stairs. Of course, I only got a stomach pain and a bit of a headache, and you faired all right, considering you always found a way to land on me instead of me ending up on you. Still haven't figured out how you did that...
Ah, a dry chuckle from you and a soft voice to continue it, "And I suppose you never will."
Well, I guess not. But you can keep your secrets, Xan, I don't want to know. I've got to keep my own as well, you know.
As it was, I didn't really notice the slight pain until about dinnertime. I remember sitting by you, watching you devour everything on your plate with that strange appetite of yours. I remember your Master didn't know what to do with your, hungry one minute, won't touch a bite the next, appetite, but we'll get to that later.
Something attracted me to the meat of your meal. Don't ask me what, I couldn't tell you. It could be that the sauce looked like blood, or that I could smell the slight residue of real blood in the processed meat. Oh, I'm making you sick, sorry.
"Xan, can I try a little of your meat?" I asked, looking away from the strongly enticing meat to your face with a look of pure pleading, something I had picked up from you.
"I've taught you too well," you laughed, then looked at me curiously, "But I thought vamps didn't get hungry."
"We don't, I'm just curious," I lied, surprisingly for the first time to you.
"Alright," you said, offering your fork to me.
So I tried my first and almost last piece of meat, and was sick from it. But I held it in, and handed you back your fork.
"Are you okay?" you asked, worry flickering in your eyes.
"Yes, I'm alright. Mortal food doesn't seem to agree with me though," I said, and found I kept glancing at your bare neck.
"Maybe you should go see a healer, you don't look too well," you commented, not noticing my brief glances from your face.
"No, no, I'll be fine," I assured you, and though you were leery, you relented, quickly finishing your meal with a flourish of activity.
Soon we were all sent to bed. At that time, the crèche Masters had thought it wise to put students two to a room. By some strange twist of fate, we ended up in the same room, which ended up being a good and bad thing.
I remember the first night I slept there, I was so nervous. Half because I didn't know how humans slept, though vampires generally tend to sleep with our eyes open. I halfway freaked when I first saw you sleep with your eyes closed, I thought you were dead. After I woke you up, you explained to me how humans sleep, and from then on, I had the nerve to call such rest the sleep of the dead. Strange how things seem to come back to you when you're going to die....
The other reason was that I had always slept in a room alone. Sharing was not something I was familiar with, but to keep at least one friend not scared of me, I endured it, and soon couldn't really revert back when I became a Padawan.
Sorry, I'm getting off subject again. My mind wonders more these days, must be the starvation.
As it is, I awoke that night to tremendous hunger, and panicked. That was something I had never done. Before, I had never known the true definition of fear and utter bewilderment until that night. And so I turned to you sleeping in your mound of blankets, and I could hear and feel your heart beat resound within me, as easily as I could already taste your blood. At first I tried to fight it, at first I struggled to consider going to the healers. But in the end, the hunger overwhelmed my passive nature, and forced me to your bedside.
"Xan, wake up," I whispered in your ear, and then leaned back to watch you stir.
Dark eye lashes fluttered open, to reveal your ever-intense blue eyes.
"Eno? What's wrong?" you asked sleepily, sitting up.
"Xan," I bit my lip, and you gasped.
"Enovan, are you hungry?" you asked, staring at my mouth.
Reaching up, my fingers brushed my newly formed, sharp, fangs, and I gasped as well. I knew then what was happening, and I was frightened. I couldn't go to the healers, they would keep me away from everyone, or so I believed at the time. But I couldn't control the hunger either; already I was staring at your neck, hunger visible in my every move.
"Yes, Xan," I said softly, fear and hunger melding in my voice.
"How much do you need?" you asked suddenly, surprising me with your conviction.
I should have realized you thought the same way as I. Neither of us wanted to lose our best friend, and together we were about to make the worst mistake of our lives, yet the greatest victory in the same breath. Amazing how such things have a double blade to them.
"A little, I think, I don't want to hurt you," I said softly.
"I know," you said, ever trusting, as you moved aside so I could sit on your bed.
Rising, I sat by your side, and reached gentle fingers out to brush your hair away. It was long even in those days, and Force knows you rarely cut it then. Moving closer, I stared at your pale pulsing flesh, and knew not what to do. I know, it sounds ridicules, a vampire not being able to feed, but I didn't.
So, delving into my rising vampire instinct, I let it move forward, and I suddenly found myself moving towards your neck, and sinking newly formed fangs straight into that ever-ready flesh. You tensed at the invasion, but didn't move, knowing it would hurt more if you did.
Blood flooded from the wounds I made upon your flawless skin, and the second I tasted it, I knew I would never forsake you. Fire ignited my nerves, trailing through me, feeding my hunger to breathtaking levels. I nearly pulled away, nearly. But my hunger held my reason captive, and I let it, drawing even deeper upon your essence. Your emotions, your thoughts, your memories flooded me, swirling into me and becoming apart of my own soul, warming my near still heart. Wonder and terror filled me at such a sensation, and like a drug, it pulled me on. I could feel your body relax against mine, your wonder, pain, and intense pleasure ringing through my own soul. I couldn't get enough, wouldn't be able to. For a brief moment, we touched and held each other's souls, and in that one moment, I gave you the oath that binds me to you, even now. The one that has signed our deaths.
/Ever and always, till the earth and sky fade, and even after, I shall hold you within my soul. Come what will, come what has, come what shall, I will never forsake you, nor injury you, but always protect you. Always you will be of me, and I shall be of you. For you are mine, and are my blood bonded, and I am your protector,/ I had sent to your slowly dying mind, unaware of what I meant, until it came ringing back to me in the later ages.
Ah, such a simple oath, the oath spoken by all of my people since our evolution. How could such as that bring such problems.
At that time, I did not realize I was killing you, until I felt your heart try to match my slow heart. Forcing myself away, terror filled me as your body slumped against me, seemingly lifeless.
"Xan!" I called, shaking you gently, then harder.
Your head whipped back and forth, but your eyes stayed close, and pure horror filled my soul. Yet above it all, I knew I had not killed you, for I sensed your heart, shallow and slow, but there, and I knew what I had to do.
Lowering your body to the bed, I stood, and rushed off to the healers, knowing that this could have ended with me getting kicked out, and not caring. My soul was bond to that oath, and no matter what harm came to me, I would always protect you.
For days on end after that, the Healers would not let me see you, and the crèche Masters kept me locked away from the others, afraid I would do further damage. I spent much of that time thinking over what had happened, though to my simple mind then, much of if did not make sense. What I could make sense of was that I had just changed both of our lives forever, and nothing would ever be the same again. I didn't question how I knew this, I just did, and my soul quivered at the thought. I lost count of the days I sat on my bed, worrying about you, and thinking of what I had done. I was afraid for you, yet every time I asked one of the Masters who came to check upon me, they could say little more then that you were fine.
Finally the ban seemed to be lifted, when a Master, not of the crèche, but a regular Jedi Master, came to my room. I remember his every stance, his every move, his every glance. I remember his sharp, fearless gray orbs looking down into mine, his strong face set into an unreadable expression. And then he smiled ever so slightly, and knelt in front of me.
"Your friend Xanatos is fine, and I am going to take you to see him in a little while. But first I want to talk with you, and access what has happened, with your permission, of course," he said,
I nodded, unsure of where this would lead, but I felt no distrust for the Master before me, nor did I sense any fear from him. I did not need to distrust him, and he knew not to fear me, because he was of the few that had actually worked with my kind, there had even been rumors he had blood bonded with a vampire, who had died a while before. My dearest confident, besides you, my future Master, was there. But we shall get to that soon.
He asked me questions, took a few blood samples, asked me more questions, and I did the best I could to comply. But I couldn't answer everything, yet he did not seem angry with this, only sad at the lack of knowledge I knew about my kind. Then he taught me, made me understand more. That our bonding had been a mistake, and was unchangeable now. He taught me my responsibilities to you, to protect my protector, to honor the blood of our union, to be devoted, to never cause you harm, those were of the things he taught me that day. I have always been grateful to him, because without him, I would have failed at my duties. Good thing he has already joined the Force, for I fear he would be disappointed now.
Finally he stood, and took me by the hand. I allowed it, and smiled at his warm touch as he headed towards the door. He led me calmly down the halls, and finally to the healers ward. Leaving me at the door, he went and gave the blood samples to a healer, then turned back to me, that gentle smile of his on his lips. That is one of the things I've always missed since Master passed on, his heart-warming smiles. Everything always felt better after he smiled, and there was only one time when it failed to make it so, when he died.
Forgive the tears, I've never grieved for him, I couldn't. The pain had been too much to let me do so, and I had to grieve for you first, as he always said, you came first. I wish I could cry true tears, of water instead of blood, but it is just another curse of my kind.
I've got to continue, or I won't finish. Time and my own emotions are against me.
He gestured me forward, and I came quietly, just slightly afraid, because of the healers' strange looks upon me, and of how you would react when you saw me. Would you hate me for almost killing you? Would you reject our deadly bond? Would you reject me? I couldn't have handled it if you did, and so I feared.
We went directly to your room, and he opened the door for me, before gesturing me forward. I hesitated, and glanced in to see your pale form lying lifeless on a huge white bed in the middle of the room. Nervously I glanced at him, then you, unsure of what to do. I had never been so nervous, so utterly terrified of something related to you. Yet I stepped forward, and the door slid close behind me, leaving us alone. Slowly I walked forward, my eyes locked on your pale face. I saw the monitors and fluids connected to you from the corner of my eye, and my heart shuddered. I had done this to you, and I could only hope you would recover.
Finally I reached your bedside and looked down upon you, studying your pale form with suddenly knowing eyes. I knew you, every piece and parcel of your soul had been apart of me during our bonding, and thus I knew you. I could feel it as if you were whispering it to me, that it wasn't my fault that I was who I was, I didn't ask to be this, and yet, the Force had wanted it. I felt it; you knew it deep within, and together, it made sense. Thus, I felt that you were fine, just tired from being drained of your blood and life force. Nothing could hold down your formable soul.
Just as I was studying you, your eyes opened to look upon me, and a weak smile lit up your face, "What a rush, huh?" you asked softly.
"So it was, and it'll take forever to get your emotions out of my blood. Ai, who would have thought you mortals were so complicated," I groaned playfully, taking your right hand in mine, noting the slightly cool flesh.
"We mortals are rather surprising. And if you get the urge to jump down a flight of stairs anytime soon, don't blame me," you whispered, your eyes twinkling with mirth.
"I'll just have to resist it," I laughed slightly, before I sat down upon the edge of your bed, seriousness sweeping over me as I thought over my next words.
"What is it, Eno?" you asked, catching onto my serious mood.
"Xan, I've got something to tell you. First, I want to apologize..." you cut me off quickly.
"Apologize for what? It was much my deed as it was yours, I knew what you were going to do, I knew there was risk to me, and I accepted that risk. I'm seven now, I can make my own decisions, Enovan," you mocked scowled, though a triumphant sparkle lit up in your eyes, "And the feeling of it was worth the risk, as I said, it was quite a rush. But let me take a shot at what the other matter is. Would it have anything to do with this?"
A gasp escaped me as I felt a sharp, noticeable pull on the blood bond between us, my eyes widening steadily as I felt a tendril of your thoughts touching mine. Looking to you, I noticed your grin, for you obviously enjoyed surprising me.
"How?" I couldn't bring myself to ask you in full, but you understood what I meant, and your grin got wider if that was possible.
"I discovered it when I woke the first time, though I haven't really had the time to mess with it, until now of course," you said, then looked at me with questioning eyes, "This is what you call a blood bond, right?"
I nodded, for I remembered telling you about how my society works on Atan, where vampires, called Atare', are rulers, and the mortal race is only slightly below us in status. I remembered telling you of how humans were bonded to vampires for the rest of their lives by a blood bond. But I never understood, until then, just how much more the blood bond was besides a simple feeding channel. And so I explained to you all that I knew of it, and what my duties were to you, as what your duties were to me, and through it all you listened until I was finished. Then you lay back, your eyes half closed as you thought, your hand resting still within my own small ones. Silence wove around us, becoming thicker and thicker, to the point I wondered if I would stop breathing, until you finally broke the silence.
"I do not like the thought of being owned," you said thoughtfully, still staring up at the ceiling.
"It is a formality, it is not like it is on Atan, you are not a slave, nor owned by me," I whispered, looking down at the white sheets of your bed.
"Yet I feel you own a piece of my soul now," you said, still not glancing at me.
"You own a piece of mine as well, for what you suffer, I will suffer. Your pain will be mine, your tears my own, your shattered hopes are the fragments of mine. I can't live without you now, for as long as you live, I will never be able to take another's blood, and thus would die if you rejected me," I said softly; looking up to find you gazing at me, understanding in your eyes.
"Then we both own a piece of each other's souls. I won't reject you; you're my best friend, I would have to be a Sith to sentence you to that fate," you said, and grinned suddenly, "Besides, M'jah can stop bugging me about getting hurt, now that I have you to 'guard' me."
"As if you needed guarding. I'll only have to save you from insane green trolls, and staircases, but I do that already," I laughed slightly, "But, I think I can do something to get you out of this bed faster, if you trust me?"
"Eno, that is the saddest question to ask after I've let you drain two thirds of my blood away. If I didn't trust you, why would I have let you?" you rolled your eyes in mock expiration.
"Right, oh high one," I said, laughing a bit more, "Then you won't mind if I do this," I then raised your hand to my lips, and bit down into the soft flesh of the top of your hand.
You grimaced, but didn't pull away as I began feeding my gift into your veins, by way of clear liquid that constantly coated my sharp canines. This liquid was one of the forms of life force a vampire produces from the blood he or she takes, and it has several properties, the most common being that of creating a new vampire outside the bonds of courtship, or to restore a piece of the life force we take from our bonded. Thus I gave this to you, and then sat back to see if what I had only been taught that morning would actually work.
The first thing I noticed was that your eyes brightened, becoming sharper as the last of your weariness melted away. Your pale skin became pinker, shimmering with a healthy light as it became warmer to the touch. Sitting up, your gingerly flexed your free arm and hand, then wiggled your feet and toes, before looking up to me, a true smile upon your face. I'll never forget that look, it was as if someone had given you the greatest gift in the world, and you would never regret it. But you did, later on. I can still hear your screams now, cursing me for giving you back your strength, for keeping you alive for so long. Oh, Xan, I just can't bear to regret it myself, but you'll see why. We still have a ways to go yet.
"What was that, or do I really want to know?" you asked, raising a midnight black eyebrow as you looked to me.
"Vampire saliva, if you really want to know," I said, failing to hide the wicked gleam in my eyes.
"Eww, and to think that is floating around in my veins!" you scrunched up your face in a disgusted look, though I knew you were halfway joking.
"What? I could have left you in this bed for a few more days," I said, scrambling off the bed.
"You wouldn't have," you said, pouting ever so slightly, still joking.
"Oh?" I asked, raising my silver eyebrow in a mock expression of one of your favorite moods, then scrambled out the door, to tell a healer of your improved state.