I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or Red VS Blue.
A/N: I've really getting into Red Vs Blue lately that I thought it would be funny that Avalanche and the Turks would fight each other that way. This is the character list I came up with at random.
Red Team/Avalanche
Sarge: Cloud
Grif: Cid
Simmons: Vincent
Donut: Reeve
Lopez: Cait Sith
Blue Team/ Turks (duh)
Tseng: Church (because he dies)
Reno: Tucker
Tex: Elena
Caboose: Rude (for no reason at all)
Avalanche Vs Turks The Midgar Chronicles
Cid and Vincent are standing guard outside Kalm. Cid turns to Vincent "Do you ever wonder why we're here?" Vincent looked down "Well that's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? Are we just the product of some cosmic coincidences? Or is there really a Leviathan with a plan for all of us? I don't know but it keeps me up at night." Cid gave Vincent a odd look "What? I mean what are we doing out here" Vincent's eyes widened "O" Cid gave a funny look "Whats all that stuff about Leviathan? Wanna talk about it?" "No that's ok "Vincent snapped back. "I mean the only reason we have an Avalanche base here is because ShinRa has one over in Midgar. And the only reason ShinRa has a base over there is because we have a Avalanche base over here." Vincent adjusted his gun "Yeah whats that about?" Cid polished his spear "I mean think about it, we are here in a god forsaken continent the only way out is my Highwind or the ferry in Junon. And if we were to pull out today ShinRa would have two bases on a god-forsaken continent whoop dee fucking dooo!" Vincent sighed "Tell me about it. I mean I signed up with Avalanche to fight Hojo next thing I know were trying to find the Promised Land, I mean whats all that about?" Cid snorted "No shit! That's why we should be in charge." And at that moment Cloud came running out of the town "Ladies get your asses down here!" Vincent and Cid simultaneously said, "Fuck! Yes sir"
Cid and Vincent came running up to Cloud "Stop the Cetra talk you two this aint no life stream social" Cloud yelled. Vincent raised an eyebrow "Life stream social? What the hell is that?" Cloud sighed, "Stop your jibber jabber. Now is there any idea why I called you here today?" Cid raised his hand "Is it because the war is over and your sending us home?" Cloud looked at he with a grin "That's exactly it Highwind, guess what Sephiroth's dead turns out you're the big hero, I get to drive the Highwind and Vincent is in charge of CONFETTY!!!" he yelled sarcastically. Cid raised his eyebrow " I'm no stranger to sarcasm sir." Cloud became frustrated "God dang it Highwind keep quite or else I'll have Vincent slit your throat!" Vincent waved his clawed hand infront of Cid "O I'd do it to." Cloud turned to Vincent "I know you would Vincent you're a good man. Now to the point I have seen fit to increase our ranks he will be arriving within the week." Cid turned to Vincent "Crap we're getting a rookie."
"That's right dead man, also we are getting a new vehicle from Dio. Cait Sith bring out the Buggy (buggy comes over the hill) may I present the MR6MKI I like to call it the buggy." Vincent raise an eyebrow "Buggy sir, why is that?" Cloud walked up to the buggy "See these tires there eight and what insect is that?" Cid raised his hand once more "A caterpillar" Cloud looked at Cid "Your making that up."
Mean While far side of the mountain...
Tseng is looking through a sniper rifle with Reno behind him. "What are they talking about?" Reno asked. Tseng lowered the rifle "What?" he asked annoyed. "I said what are they talking about" Reno asked again. Tseng let out a sigh "There just standing and talking, that's all they ever do is stand and talk. You asked that question five minutes ago dip shit." Reno to a swing at Tseng "You're the one with the fucking sniper rifle I not just gonna stand here and play with my dick all day." Tseng sighed once more "Look this is all they ever do, they were standing and talking five minutes ago when you asked me, and five minutes from now they are still going to be standing and talking." Reno looked around the base "What are they talking about?" he asked. Tseng's nostrils flared "You know what I fucking hate you."
"Now do you have any more mythical creatures to call the Buggy?" Cid shook his head " No sir" Cloud smiled wickedly "Are you sure? How bout Unicorn? (Cid sighs) Phoenix?" Vincent got into it as well "Leprecon" Cid yelled at Vincent "Dude he doesn't need your help." Cloud look to Vincent "Vincent whats the name of that Mexican lizard eats all the goats and stuff," he asked. "That would be the Chupacabra sir" Cloud look at Cid with a stupid look "Yeah Chupa thingy how bout that? I like it, it's gotta ring to it."
"O man they got some kinda car!" Tseng yelled. "Man how come we can't get a car?" Reno wined. Tseng look at him oddly "O quite your bitching, we're about to get a helicopters from ShinRa in the next drop and your worried about chicks, what chick we're fighting a war!" Reno looked down in disapointment "You can't pick up chicks in a helicopter." Tseng just looked at him "You know what you could just bitch about anything could you!"