Disclaimer: See chapter one!
A/N: You made it to chapter two! Congrats! I really hope you reviewed chapter one but since I'm posting this on the same day and I haven't gotten any reviews yet, I don't have any reviews to respond to! But I will do that next chapter, naturally. looks menacing Review, or else! Well, read on!

Malfoy, Muggles, and Maytag: Chapter Two- The Grand Tour!

I take a moment to review my situation before wandering any further into the state of Confusion. I'm stranded thousands of miles away from my homeland with no way of communication, my parents are dead, I'm not allowed to use magic, I have no money, and who knows how much these muggles can do to torture me in a year. Wonderful. I stood up, dusted myself off and readied myself for the worst day of my short life. A woman who didn't appear to be much over thirty but was clearly the authority figure here looked me over and nodded approvingly.

"Okay Kaitelyn, you can have a lock put on your door, love." Apparently 'Kaitelyn' was the scary-looking girl standing next to the woman since she grinned and pumped the air, shouting "YES!"

"Anyway, hello, and welcome to your new home. Your name is Draco, right?" I nodded cautiously and wondered how they would react if I pretended to only understand French. Too late now, I guess. "Well, I'm Jezza, that's Kaitelyn, obviously, and my other daughter is Alexx. You'll meet my husband Sebastian tonight. I'll take your bags up to your room, okay?" I held them out mutely while Alexx stared up at me, wide-eyed and Kaitelyn looked me over appraisingly. I blinked at them both and looked around, feigning interest.

Kaitelyn walked over to what I later learned was a 'coffee pot' and poured a mug of the black liquid. She dumped in a bunch of sugar and some cream and put it down on the table. Then, she grabbed a plate, walked over to the oven and slapped a few crepes on the aforementioned circular object. She rolled them up, chopped them into small pieces, covered them in whipped cream and topped that with chocolate sprinkles. She set the plate down on the table next to the coffee cup and shoved a fork in my hand. Giving me a light push toward the table she said, "Go, sit, eat. No one likes an evanescent string bean." I complied since my stomach would start rumbling any minute and that would be a sign of weakness, something I wasn't about to show to any muggles. Surprisingly, the crepes weren't bad and neither was the coffee.

Jezza came back from putting my bags in my room and grinned when she saw that Kaitelyn had fed me out of the 'goodness of her heart'. Alexx walked over to Jezza and looked up innocently. "Mommy, is Draco an angel?" Jezza started laughing her head off while I choked on the bite of crepe I was chewing.

Kaitelyn smirked when I reached for the coffee cup and tried to breathe simultaneously, causing me to start hacking even more violently. This was too much, much too early. Why must everyone be so insensitive? I swallowed, gulping down coffee and finally taking a deep breath. Alexx was trying to figure out why her 'Mommy' was laughing so hard at what she thought was a perfectly rational question.

Kaitelyn realised that Jezza wasn't going to stop her insane giggling anytime soon and bent down to Alexx's level. "No, 'Lexxie, Draco isn't an angel. Well, maybe a fallen one..." I wondered when this 'Sebastian' person was going to get home and whether he would be the sane one in this bunch of nutcases. Not bloody likely, but nevertheless, a guy can hope.

Jezza stood up from her position on the floor and caught her breath. "Are you done eating, Draco?" I nodded once and Kaitelyn wondered aloud

"Did they say he was mute or something like that?"

"I'm not mute. I just don't have anything to say."

"Ohhh...Okay. Well then, put those over by the sink and follow me."

"Why?"

"Because, those are dirty, and you have to follow me because I'm going to give you the grand tour. I know you're supposedly some spoiled, rich, pretty-boy, but in this house you're gonna have to follow orders like everyone else." Frowning once again, I got up and placed my dishes by the sink as commanded and walked over to where Kaitelyn was standing on the other side of the kitchen.