I don't own Jeff, Matt, Amy or any other wrestlers. I tried but the store was all out.
I do own Sam, Marie and the children and later on David
________________________________________________________________________
This is my favorite part of the story so far. I believe it shows a lot about Jeff and Sam. Review and then I'll post
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^between people
***** later that day
________ Next day… week… ect.
++ flashback.
________________________________________________________________________
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Jeff sat in his hotel suite looking out the window briefly before he was lost in his writing…
'Dear me,
I had another flash back about Phoenix and it just leads me to think. Why all of a sudden are they coming? I know I just can't seem to admit it to myself. I need to feel needed. I know it is wrong of me but I believe if I don't I will turn to pain killers or a knife to easy the everlasting pain…again. That word describes of what everything… this. Again is a nameless hotel, again in a new city and again with the feelings of worthlessness. I never feel as if I am good enough and, yet, I can't say these things out loud. I know if I am to speak of my feels then I will be bombarded with complements that mean nothing to me but wasted air.
I know adopting won't take away the pain but it feels like I have to. My destiny as some would say to me… no. I have control over my own life. Nothing will ever stop me for doing what I want. I m not some pawn in the game called life for God's amusement. God… ha that's another subject all together. If God was the man of all power and goodness then why would he make a women go into labor and give birth to a baby three months early, having them both die in the end. He died before he lived which saddens me. To know the son I help make died before he lay in my arms. He never took more then 10 breathe of the new world. Cruel as it may be I wish that he had a chance to see what the world lie ahead of him but all he saw was white. White a colour so plain and to me white is morbid not black. White… the colour of hospital room where people die everyday. White are the walls an insane man looks at. To think we lock people up because they are crazy. Well then lock up half the world including me because not a day goes by that a though doesn't cross my mind. Thoughts of a crazy man. Joy it seems the food that I eat to live another day has arrived and as to you my only true and loyal friend… Another day, another pain.'
Soon he sat and pondered what thoughts crossed his mind as he reread he entry. 'Why would I wonder about God? I had only even thought of God as bad two times… When He took my mother and my son... A tear slide slowly down his cheek as he walked into the bathroom.
He slide out of his clothes and in a very warm shower. Slowly his tense muscle relaxed as he looked his body up and down. 'Anger has one benefit. I need to work out to rid myself of it. Now I'm in the best physical shape of my life but my mental health is to be questioned where as my social health is all not there beside the weekly times Matt pulls me into a club. Then I can get wasted off my ass and forget about the pain for a while. Until I wake up and then I am consumed by physical pain and the metal returns another day in the never ending life on Earth.' Stepping out of the shower and into a loosely fitted pair of Mickey Mouse boxers he slide under the covers and drifted off into the one world of pleasure…. His dreams. 'I wonder what the person I adopt will be like.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Just two hours ago it was decided that Mattison was to be adopted. Not that it had been a surprise to Sam. She sat slouched over the arms of the big patted down easy chair as she waited for Jeff Hardy to come down to the ring, a sight she never saw. 'That is odd, it's Nine thirty and Jeff hasn't been down, he most be on vacation.'
Marie stood in front of Sam waiting for her to look up since it was a commercial and of course she did. "Sam I bet you feel bad that the McFoxes didn't adopt you? But I have good news."
Interrupted half way through Sam voice was depressed filled with sadness as she states, "Marie before you true to bribe me off with some sugar filled treat I am not interested and for my sake I don't feel bad. I am not like most. I have been here for five years and I have sat in (add fingered motions) 'The Chair' more times then I can count on my hands and feet. I wasn't thinking I would have a chance. I do believe that then I would be upset because then I had hope. Hope is an emotion that is not needed because with hope only comes disappointment. Now please Marie if you will I would like to see Lita kick Trish's butt in this match."
Like always Marie stood in shock at the amount of intelligence in this barley teen. "Sam I was simply to say that since we have room, Katelynn will be moving in with Katherine. But I believe it wouldn't hurt if you grab a snack from the cabinet if you want. I have your favorites… Milky Ways. Ok then I'll leave you be but after this you have bedtime and make sure you shut the lights off. I'm heading to bed and you're the last on up seeing as it's about 10:20." With that she stepped away before could say a word.
***** In her room after Raw
'Nothin but pain comes with a new day and tomorrow nothing will be different, for not my one and true friend is when a pen meets paper.'
Dear, none other then, Me
Again it seems that I have outwitted another and truly I'm getting tired of it. I never try to be smart and most of the time my upstanding brilliance gets me in trouble. I wish Marie would give in and let me get a punching bag. I have to let the pain out and another scar on my arm will lead Marie to believe something. Pain is great but nothing more than I can take, I hope. God would never send more then is needed…would He? Who am I to question Him? I am me and I do and always the answer is a figment of a sum of believes that I have come to believe. God himself is nothing more than a normal man in the end.
We are all humans and in the end we all die. If only the pain inside would subside then I could live but anymore the pain inside is what makes me live. To get away is nothing to be but a dream. School is a joke, my GPA 3.999, if only I would have worked that one problem in Algebra II. Oh well if I truly cared I would be in pre college classes instead of a freshman…freshie, fresh meat, that is all I am seen as. But I feel as if I am the only person in my class that is capable of anything. People think I try, if only I was capable of a moron day full of no thoughts then I would be in heaven. People think that love can cause brilliance, what a wonderful world that their minds have made for them. Love is a word to often used in this world. 'Oh I just love this shirt.' Love is an emotion used to show great affection to a person not an object. To me love is truly a hard goal to reach. It is almost incapable of obtaining. Never the less it is something that one can wish to obtain. Not really hope for but wishing is harmless. Oh this inferior human body. My lids seem to be gaining weight as I seem to need sleep. Sleep really is a waste of time. I have gone 2 weeks without it and was fine. Those who depend on it are inferior. But in the end sleep comes or madness. I believe I am crazy enough and I don't need to stare at the sickening colour of white padded walls to prove it. Never the move to you my friend I say 'Another day, Another pain.'
She closed the book and looked down at the black leather covered book and began to pull at an already formed tare. Slowly she took her necklace off and double locked the book shut and placed it in-between the pillowcase and pillow. Sliding down so her head was on the opposite side of it and closed her eyes as one finial thought passed through her mind before the darkness surrounded her, 'I wonder if there is one that shares my soul?' That was that as the overpowering darkness pulls her deep in.
I do own Sam, Marie and the children and later on David
________________________________________________________________________
This is my favorite part of the story so far. I believe it shows a lot about Jeff and Sam. Review and then I'll post
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^between people
***** later that day
________ Next day… week… ect.
++ flashback.
________________________________________________________________________
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Jeff sat in his hotel suite looking out the window briefly before he was lost in his writing…
'Dear me,
I had another flash back about Phoenix and it just leads me to think. Why all of a sudden are they coming? I know I just can't seem to admit it to myself. I need to feel needed. I know it is wrong of me but I believe if I don't I will turn to pain killers or a knife to easy the everlasting pain…again. That word describes of what everything… this. Again is a nameless hotel, again in a new city and again with the feelings of worthlessness. I never feel as if I am good enough and, yet, I can't say these things out loud. I know if I am to speak of my feels then I will be bombarded with complements that mean nothing to me but wasted air.
I know adopting won't take away the pain but it feels like I have to. My destiny as some would say to me… no. I have control over my own life. Nothing will ever stop me for doing what I want. I m not some pawn in the game called life for God's amusement. God… ha that's another subject all together. If God was the man of all power and goodness then why would he make a women go into labor and give birth to a baby three months early, having them both die in the end. He died before he lived which saddens me. To know the son I help make died before he lay in my arms. He never took more then 10 breathe of the new world. Cruel as it may be I wish that he had a chance to see what the world lie ahead of him but all he saw was white. White a colour so plain and to me white is morbid not black. White… the colour of hospital room where people die everyday. White are the walls an insane man looks at. To think we lock people up because they are crazy. Well then lock up half the world including me because not a day goes by that a though doesn't cross my mind. Thoughts of a crazy man. Joy it seems the food that I eat to live another day has arrived and as to you my only true and loyal friend… Another day, another pain.'
Soon he sat and pondered what thoughts crossed his mind as he reread he entry. 'Why would I wonder about God? I had only even thought of God as bad two times… When He took my mother and my son... A tear slide slowly down his cheek as he walked into the bathroom.
He slide out of his clothes and in a very warm shower. Slowly his tense muscle relaxed as he looked his body up and down. 'Anger has one benefit. I need to work out to rid myself of it. Now I'm in the best physical shape of my life but my mental health is to be questioned where as my social health is all not there beside the weekly times Matt pulls me into a club. Then I can get wasted off my ass and forget about the pain for a while. Until I wake up and then I am consumed by physical pain and the metal returns another day in the never ending life on Earth.' Stepping out of the shower and into a loosely fitted pair of Mickey Mouse boxers he slide under the covers and drifted off into the one world of pleasure…. His dreams. 'I wonder what the person I adopt will be like.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Just two hours ago it was decided that Mattison was to be adopted. Not that it had been a surprise to Sam. She sat slouched over the arms of the big patted down easy chair as she waited for Jeff Hardy to come down to the ring, a sight she never saw. 'That is odd, it's Nine thirty and Jeff hasn't been down, he most be on vacation.'
Marie stood in front of Sam waiting for her to look up since it was a commercial and of course she did. "Sam I bet you feel bad that the McFoxes didn't adopt you? But I have good news."
Interrupted half way through Sam voice was depressed filled with sadness as she states, "Marie before you true to bribe me off with some sugar filled treat I am not interested and for my sake I don't feel bad. I am not like most. I have been here for five years and I have sat in (add fingered motions) 'The Chair' more times then I can count on my hands and feet. I wasn't thinking I would have a chance. I do believe that then I would be upset because then I had hope. Hope is an emotion that is not needed because with hope only comes disappointment. Now please Marie if you will I would like to see Lita kick Trish's butt in this match."
Like always Marie stood in shock at the amount of intelligence in this barley teen. "Sam I was simply to say that since we have room, Katelynn will be moving in with Katherine. But I believe it wouldn't hurt if you grab a snack from the cabinet if you want. I have your favorites… Milky Ways. Ok then I'll leave you be but after this you have bedtime and make sure you shut the lights off. I'm heading to bed and you're the last on up seeing as it's about 10:20." With that she stepped away before could say a word.
***** In her room after Raw
'Nothin but pain comes with a new day and tomorrow nothing will be different, for not my one and true friend is when a pen meets paper.'
Dear, none other then, Me
Again it seems that I have outwitted another and truly I'm getting tired of it. I never try to be smart and most of the time my upstanding brilliance gets me in trouble. I wish Marie would give in and let me get a punching bag. I have to let the pain out and another scar on my arm will lead Marie to believe something. Pain is great but nothing more than I can take, I hope. God would never send more then is needed…would He? Who am I to question Him? I am me and I do and always the answer is a figment of a sum of believes that I have come to believe. God himself is nothing more than a normal man in the end.
We are all humans and in the end we all die. If only the pain inside would subside then I could live but anymore the pain inside is what makes me live. To get away is nothing to be but a dream. School is a joke, my GPA 3.999, if only I would have worked that one problem in Algebra II. Oh well if I truly cared I would be in pre college classes instead of a freshman…freshie, fresh meat, that is all I am seen as. But I feel as if I am the only person in my class that is capable of anything. People think I try, if only I was capable of a moron day full of no thoughts then I would be in heaven. People think that love can cause brilliance, what a wonderful world that their minds have made for them. Love is a word to often used in this world. 'Oh I just love this shirt.' Love is an emotion used to show great affection to a person not an object. To me love is truly a hard goal to reach. It is almost incapable of obtaining. Never the less it is something that one can wish to obtain. Not really hope for but wishing is harmless. Oh this inferior human body. My lids seem to be gaining weight as I seem to need sleep. Sleep really is a waste of time. I have gone 2 weeks without it and was fine. Those who depend on it are inferior. But in the end sleep comes or madness. I believe I am crazy enough and I don't need to stare at the sickening colour of white padded walls to prove it. Never the move to you my friend I say 'Another day, Another pain.'
She closed the book and looked down at the black leather covered book and began to pull at an already formed tare. Slowly she took her necklace off and double locked the book shut and placed it in-between the pillowcase and pillow. Sliding down so her head was on the opposite side of it and closed her eyes as one finial thought passed through her mind before the darkness surrounded her, 'I wonder if there is one that shares my soul?' That was that as the overpowering darkness pulls her deep in.