Chapter 4: Triviality and Significance

Standard Disclaimer Applies

'Sometimes, I like to sit down and think about what my existence means to the world and to other people. Yes, that does involve me thinking, and yes, I am capable of intelligent thought processing. Everyone else might not think so, but I'm not a totally brain-dead monkey! And I absolutely hate being called that in the first place!'

'To the world on a whole, I guess I don't really mean that much. It's not like I'm globally famous, or anything like that, so that's probably a safe bet. To the Shinjuku Prefecture, I'm one of its citizens, Son Goku, prowling the streets like everyone else, melding with the throng of people that walk to and fro every day. To Yaone-san, I'm the little Goku-kun who always eats a lot when she's around. To Hakkai, I'm Goku; small, cheerful, amiable Goku, who loves food and being goofy. To Gojyo, I'm his little brother—the 'baka,' or the, 'saru,' or a combination of the two, whose always bickering with him and teases him about everything.'

'As for him...well, I just found out what I could be for him today. And if it hadn't been raining today—wet and muddy and icky as the weather is, and as you can probably tell, I don't like the conditions outside when it's like that—I might not have discovered it, or even have thought about it. So I guess that means I have to thank the rain, ugly and terrible as it is. I did just that. Mentally, that is. Because you don't look up at the sky and say, 'Thanks a lot, rain clouds.' That'd be just weird! I'm weird maybe, but I'm not mental!'

'Anyway, it started that afternoon, when it had started pouring really hard, and Gojyo and I were sitting on the couch watching it fall...'

"Oi, Goku. Go out and buy another pack of Hi-Lites for me, would 'ya?"

Turning away from the drops of rain falling on the windowpane, Goku managed a bored glare at Gojyo. "You just BOUGHT one yesterday! And why the hell do I have to go out and buy YOUR stinkin' cigarettes?!"

"Ch'! What are you, my mother? Quit naggin' and just do it, bakasaru!"

"Saru ja nai yo! And anyway, I might be a monkey, but I'm not lazy like you, erokappa!"

Despite the obvious attempt the redhead made to retort something equally nasty back at Goku, the doorbell suddenly rang, making the both of them start and leaving the words left unsaid. Gojyo reluctantly got up from the sofa, and began unlatching the door lock.

"Sumimasen, Gojyo...but would it be all right if we stayed here and borrowed your phone? Sanzou's car broke down, and unfortunately, we didn't bring anything with us..."

The small boy went running over to the door in order to greet the familiar voice behind it. "Hakkai! I can't believe your car broke down in this part of the city! You're lucky the local gang didn't try to steal it!"

Hakkai scratched the back of his head sheepishly, a nervous chuckle bubbling at the back of his throat. "A-ha-ha...well, that's just the thing. There were a couple of rowdy-looking young men who attempted it, though Sanzou was rather quick to scare them away. They managed to damage it a bit, though. Sanzou's having a fit back at the end of the block."

"Well, I'll be damned." Gojyo was apparently trying for a sympathy act, though anyone could tell he was probably more interested in keeping Hakkai there longer. Goku attempted to hold back the urge to burst out laughing, but wound up sniggering like an idiot in the attempt to do so. "Don't sweat it, 'Kai. You can use the phone, and tell that blonde friend of yours that he's welcome to stay just as long as he's not gonna break anything. Got enough to pay for the rent here as it is."

Hakkai smiled gratefully. "Thank you. I'll let him know right away." And without another word, he ran down the street to the faraway black convertible at the end of the road, which seemed to be Sanzou's.

"If you were tryin' to be comforting, then you shouldn't have been so creepy just now! God, that was SO funny! You looked like such an idiot, starin' at Hakkai like that!" Goku let the laughter take over him, as he cried out in part indignation, part amusement. "You should've offered him an umbrella, man!"

Goku probably knew it was coming, but it still stung when Gojyo whacked him across the head violently with the mentioned item, which had somehow appeared out of nowhere. There, or the nearby trashcan that was fashioned to be an umbrella holder; it was obviously one or the other. "Shut up, monkey! And I'm gonna go give him the umbrella now, so leave me th' hell alone already!"

'What's the point of it now, though? Hakkai's probably already soaking wet...' He kept this thought to himself, however, and let the redhead go after Hakkai.

'Besides, –-The teenager grinned lightheartedly-- it probably would prove to be real scary if I got in the way of him and the object of his affection. Stupid, lovesick kappa.'

Sanzou came out the car reluctantly, noticing even from their remote location Gojyo and Hakkai shrouded beneath an umbrella and coming towards him. Though it would have been decidedly better to go back with them under the said rain shield, the blonde, far too prideful for such actions, settled for walking back stone-faced on his own.

Hakkai stared at the disappearing blonde while still halfway down the sidewalk leading to Gojyo and Goku's home, sympathetic voice hindered somewhat by the raindrops' flow. "Sanzou...?"

He did not reply, callously brushing past his comrade and walking on.

Goku observed this exchange from the overpass over the front door, quietly taking in the taller male's approaching form. Like glazed amethyst, those eyes seemed to know he had been looking, piercing guiltless honey. The flaxen tendrils plastered against his face by the rain's flow. Lavender orbs tenaciously staring ahead. Dignified stride purposeful, yet ever part of the cold façade this man put in place. What pain could this charismatic young man possibly hide...and for what purpose?

Goku mused upon this for a moment; perhaps too much, however, as a pale hand nudged him aside, belonging to the very object of his thoughts. 'Nya-ing,' in a somewhat startled manner, the boy cast a rather obstinate glare Sanzou's way.

Though finding this action somewhat amusing—coming from Sanzou, that could have been for a number of reasons—a sound halfway between a grunt and blatant sigh escaped the taller one's lips. "Stupid monkey. Stop staring at me and go inside already. Just remember that I didn't agree to doing this...Hakkai was the one who forced me to come along with him."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Goku inquired with irritation only subtly expressed in his voice, slamming his palm against the hard surface of the door. "And if you didn't want to come here, then why'd you even bother coming over here? Why don't you be a little clearer when you're explainin' something?"

"It's none of your fucking business, monkey. So leave me the hell alone and let me in the house already." Sanzou hissed through gritted teeth, clearly trying to hold his tongue against the adamant boy's questioning for better apt words. "Or are you going to refuse a guest and make yourself look even stupider than you already have?"

"No way!" Infuriated now, the brunette stomped his foot defiantly against the cold pavement of the porch. "Not until you tell me what's the matter with you, Sanzou! Why're you being so mean for? Was it something I said? Why won't you tell me?!"

The approaching Hakkai and Gojyo, who had heard enough of the argument to figure out mainly what was going on, hadn't expected the blonde to roughly pull the youngster up by the shirt collar, bringing him up to his height level. Amethyst transformed to a livid shade of mauve, and the pathetic sound akin to both whimper and gasp, strangled within the contours of the boy's throat, did little to divert that unyielding gaze. He was far from being just, 'angry,' and perhaps, there was no true definition for what shone in that man's eyes at that moment. A number of emotions; but certainly not just fury or vehemence.

"Listen, you...don't expect to ask a bunch of bloody pointless questions like that and want immediate answers for them. And how the hell do you think you're so important that you deserve to know everything about someone, anyway; someone you barely even know, at that? You don't fucking KNOW me And you don't need to, you got that? So just forget whatever twisted notion that seems to delude you into thinking I would even want to –know- you, and get the hell out of my FACE."

Harsh didn't even begin to touch how strongly this miniature speech was; and even the normally laid-back Gojyo looked, quite frankly, shell-shocked. Anyone watching such an event unfold would have been truly piteous toward the youngling who just stood there, after being pushed away, both literally and symbolically, by that uncaring person. Those amber orbs, usually vivacious and filled with optimism, were devoid of any and all emotion, dulled for reasons beyond his comprehension.

Pathetic, lifeless, crestfallen, rejected; whatever one might refer to that look as, the end result was still the same. Goku had never seemed so disconsolate, and because of this, Hakkai realized no one had been able to make his friend react as strongly and as emotionally as in that moment. An encounter with Genjou Sanzou usually resulted in two general outcomes: being completely devastated or quietly affected.

In this case, the aforementioned seemed to be the regrettable outcome.

Gojyo took one look inside the kitchen and felt like slapping himself.

"Hakkai, what the hell are you DOING?"

There was pure confusion in those emerald eyes when he looked up from the butting board. "What do you mean? It's rather obvious, isn't it?"

Gritting his teeth in obvious frustration, the redhead ran a hand tiredly through dark red locks. "Y'know, I really hate it when you cop an attitude with me..."

A tentative, apologetic smile quickly replaced the earlier state of bewilderment. "...Sumimasen."

Exhaling somewhat extravagantly, the younger male cast a sidelong glance at the fore facing wall and wondered if smashing his head against it would lessen the annoyance. How could one man be so...-exasperating- by just being himself?! It bothered him to wit's end, almost, though he controlled his facial expressions well enough to ask his question once more.

"...Hakkai, what're you tryin' to do?"

"I'm cooking dinner."

As basic and straightforward as the answer was, Gojyo wound up gaping, anyway. "You're WHAT?!"

"Is there...something wrong with that, Gojyo-san?"

"Would you stop it with the, '-san's,' already?" He managed, giving another sigh. "...Listen to me, man, and get it through your thick skull! You are a guest. I am the generous landowner...or in this case, the rentee of this apartment...so—"

Hakkai grinned playfully, lighthearted banter clearly the first thing on his mind. "Is, 'rentee,' a real word, Gojyo?"

"The point is—" Gojyo kept on going, despite the blatant attempt at a joke his friend tried to make, "—You aren't going to be cookin' here, since it just isn't right. Guests are supposed to be treated by the landowners, not the other way around. Got all that?"

Hakkai nodded, but did not budge from his spot. "That's perfectly understandable, Gojyo...but I plan on making you, Goku, and Sanzou dinner because I want to. Believe you and me, courtesy ethics certainly aren't my weak point."

Gojyo slapped his forehead, perturbed. "I could see that much."

Knowing that the older teen was referring to his second comment, Hakkai smiled. "Yes, I'm sure you do."

For a moment, there came a long, pregnant silence between them; one that Gojyo took advantage of, in order to watch the brunette prepare their meal. There were little things he noticed about the older man while he worked—for instance, Hakkai was a very meticulous person when using the cooking utensils, and that he made such a little mess of the counter that it could only be described as a miracle. In the times past, when either he or Goku would make dinner at home, by the end of their escapade, the entire kitchen was either soaked, marred by some powdery substance, or food had somehow managed to cover the surfaces of the tabletops and cabinets. In this respect, Hakkai was their complete opposite; he was careful, adept, and thorough, and somehow, those sentiments reminded the teen of the home he never really got a chance to truly savor.

'But, then again...this IS my home now...with that monkey, that miser, and Hakkai...right here in the Shinjuku Prefecture. I dunno if I'm exactly happy...but it feels like a home to me. So I guess that if it seems like it...then it is.'

"Itai!"

The quiet sound of pain snapped the redhead from his trance, making him start and nearly slip on the flooring of the kitchen to reach his friend.

"You okay, Hakkai?!"

When he turned around, the right hand originally holding the sharp knife was covered by his palm, though the traces of still-fresh blood remained on the countertop. "I-I'm sorry...the knife slipped..."

Gojyo was more concerned than angry, however, as his next action of pulling the smaller male gently to the sink implied. "C'mere, you...let's get you cleaned up for now, and I'll go get you some gauze afterwards."

After letting Gojyo assist him in rinsing off the injured hand, Hakkai meekly bowed his head in slight embarrassment while the half-breed was left to applying pressure to the wound with a hand towel. "...If this is causing you any trouble, please don't worry about it...I'll take care of it myself."

"And leave you hear to bleed to death? Not a chance." Gojyo's slight smirk calmed him somewhat, the soft material being pressed to his hands comforting, as well. "I was worried 'bout you ...that stunt back there really got me freaked out. Thought you were dyin' on me or something."

"Such morbid thoughts." Hakkai quipped amusedly. "Care to grace me with any more of your wonderful knowledge, Gojyo?"

The rough laughter and the pat on the head with a hand that wasn't focusing on the task at hand came with the return of that warm, fluttering feeling at the pit of him stomach Hakkai could tell wasn't from the temperature from the opened window. "Twisted bastard. Quit tweaking my words so much, it's annoying. Besides, I haven't made fun of you yet, so don't start crackin' on me."

No words were exchanged thereafter; but the tiny smile, pure and unadultured present on Hakkai's face, said it all.

Goku gently tiptoed away, an uncomfortable ache gnawing at the pit of his stomach after witnessing such a private, intimate moment. He could admit to feeling extremely glad for Gojyo; for they were like brothers, and close enough to admit it openly, yet...something was not quite fitting in place. The brunette found that he suffered from a wave of mixed emotions: guilt, sadness, irritation, and perhaps—dare he think it?—even the slightest hint of envy. How close those two were, after only one week of acquaintance!

'Envious is kind of a crude word to be usin', though...maybe it's more like longing, or wistfulness. I think so, anyway...'

He walked back into the living room, tentatively peeking out from the corridor to stare at the prone figure lying on their couch. "Sanzou...?"

There was really no way to describe what the scene before him looked like, other than understating it as ethereal; incredible; or maybe even going as far as to call it downright beautiful. The same visage that had scowled so darkly at him once before now had calmed, pale features illuminated by shimmering moonlight, casting shadows across that perfect face. Amidst flaxen tresses lay a halo of light; sharp violet eyes now shut and hidden from the passing onlooker. Cold façade omitted, Goku realized, Sanzou was really quite handsome—and there wasn't a situation or time since than that he had seen the blonde look so genuine and true than in that moment.

'It's so strange...how one person can change so much, given the right circumstances...I wonder if he would get angry at me if he knew I had seen him like this...'

Softly trotting over, as not to disrupt the man from slumber, Goku knelt at the floor of the sofa, staring at him for a moment longer. Beautiful and nothing short of it. Hesitantly, almost lovingly, the boy ran his fingers through the adult's hair. Soft as corn silk, and perhaps just as vibrant. He smiled, and leaned his head against the nearby seat, content with merely watching Sanzou.

"Can you make endless moment to step, to shine, to love?

Sono hi wo taisetsu ni ikita nara...

Itsumo aimai datta kimi no sonzai mondai ha

Katachi wo mitsukete hikaridasu darou..."

The lyrics of a familiar song escaped his lips, and he found himself smiling even wider, had that been even possible. A sense of security, and a strange drowsiness, came soon after that, however; and the last thing Goku was awake to see was the angel he had fallen asleep beside that night.

Unbeknownst to the youngster, Sanzou chose the moment he had finally gone to rest to watch the boy. Kneeling beside the couch; tenderly clinging to the fabric of Sanzou's left shirt sleeve; small lips parted just enough for one to hear the tiniest hint of quiet snores emerging; the messy russet locks strewn across half-lidded gold eyes—he was the very picture of childlike innocence.

The blonde gave a half-scoff, fondly mussing the other male's hair in fond admiration.

"Bakasaru. I'll ever be able to understand you."

"...Bakasaru! If ya haven't already figured it out, food's ready!" Almost tiredly, and after assisting Hakkai somewhat reluctantly in their dinner, one red-haired kappa exited the kitchen and went into the adjoining dining area to place down a plate of steamed vegetables.

But when the habitual yelp of elated surprise did not reply, Gojyo began to frown apprehensively. "...Is that saru asleep or somethin'? He almost always hears me..." With this thought in mind, the young man began to trek from table to living room—which was only a few feet away.

"Goku! I told you, food's on the-"

Gojyo quieted abruptly, staring at the sight before him in total disbelief.

"...What the hell?"

Their verdant-eyed cook came several seconds later, cheerfully shouting to his friends in obliviousness to what was happening. "Sanzou! Goku! Gojyo! Everything's ready for dinner, if you're...hungry..."

After gazing at Goku and Sanzou, who had somehow wound up curled in each other's arms and looking oddly peaceful, Hakkai suddenly smiled—honestly, this time, and the second of the day.

"They look so happy together, ne? I'm almost a bit envious..."

"Yeah, well...if they're hungry when they wake up, all I'm gonna say is that they deserved it, fallin' asleep on us like that! I mean, we made a whole buffet for 'em...right, Hakkai?"

The smaller male took his friend's hand, unaware of—or perhaps purposely ignoring—the heated blush Gojyo soon portrayed at this action.

"Yes...but that means we have more food to ourselves, correct? Let's go eat quickly, Gojyo, before the food gets cold."

'...I remember waking up a little before Hakkai and Gojyo started talking, and I pretended to sleep so I could hear them. It really sucks that I didn't get dinner that night, y'know...I was SO hungry breakfast time the next morning! Man, you have NO idea!'

'But...that sense of security when I woke up in Sanzou's arms...it felt nice. REALLY nice, even though it wasn't like we did anything special. (Get your minds out of the gutter, though; I didn't mean it like that, you perverts!!) He's left the house, and Hakkai went with him, of course—they had to get back to work at the Jouryoku Kafe—but I already miss them. Hakkai kept Gojyo happy for a while, and I think he didn't want him to leave, either. Just like I was a bit hesitant in letting Sanzou go, even though I knew he had to.'

'It's probably gonna sound so stupid...but I wanna see him again. Not talk to him, not be with him—just get one more glimpse of him—whether it's that soft blonde hair, or those narrowed purple eyes, or maybe just to see his face when I'm passing in the crowd...all that's enough for me, right now. I think he's got a lot of secrets he's not ready to talk about with us, yet, but that's okay! I can wait...I'd wait forever. Just as long as I can be near him, that's okay with me. And if we can be friends, close and I mean REALLY close—like the kinda connection Gojyo and Hakkai have...that'd be even better.'

'But I won't be selfish and ask for things I know won't happen...because that would just be asking for too much, because as an insignificant person in this world, wanting something so big isn't always possible.'

'It's always nice to pretend you have some importance, though.'

Yuki-chu: Gojyo-san wa kakkoi ne? –Grin- I like him, too...sort of more since I began seeing more of Saiyuki. He used to be my least favorite in the beginning. (I loved Goku from the start, though the liking's waned a little bit since then.) But now I can't decide between everyone in the Sanzou-ikkou, or the Sanzou-tachi, as I dub them in this story. And you aren't the only one who feels bad for Hakkai-san. Another reviewer said the exact same thing, and I'm sure many others who read this chapter had that same feeling of sympathy. I wanted someone to experience empathy for him, so I guess that means I did a good job. Sankyuu for the review, Yuki-san!

Wasabii: Aii yaaa...Wasabii-san...oh my GOODNESS, I absolutely LOVE your 939 fics! –Is spazzing out- I can't believe you're reviewing one of my stories...like I said, your fics have such interesting premises, and I love the characterization of your Sanzou. –Smile- Anyway, you asked for 939-ness? Here's where it starts. Please keep reading this fic; I promise that there is more where that came from! Sankyuu for the review, Wasabii-san, and I hope you'll enjoy the fic as it keeps picking up momentum!

FluffysBijin05: I feel as if I'm repeating myself, (maybe because another reviewer mentioned the same thing), but I wanted people to feel empathy for Hakkai-san. The guilt for his sins, as well as what those sins actually are, is something I will address in a few chapters to come. (I'm not sure if you've gotten to see up to DVD 3 of the anime, so that's why I'm putting things like that). As for my sister and watching anime with me, if you know what autism is, my sister has a slight form of it, and those kinds of children have quite short attention spans. She's still a great little sis, though...I love her. –Smile- (I'm so embarrassed to be saying that, and I feel like the supportive big brother character, like Gojyo, but...ah, well.) Yes, Pocky is good, and you're very welcome for the plushies! Sankyuu for the review, Fluffy-san!

Joonie: He-he...not many people like Chin Yii Sou, ne? Although I know those who love him, too. Hey, creepy, 'perverts,' like Sanzou calls him, seem to be cool in some odd way; and to be honest, Chin Yii Sou made a lasting impression on me, which is why he's the main villain of this story! (I'm planning a sequel to this fic with Homura as the antagonist focus, though.) Yes, Gojyo and Hakkai are playing, 'hard to get,' but I actually don't think of it that way. Think about it: Gojyo is actually younger in this fic than his series counterpart, (I made him 19!), and Hakkai is still...you know...recovering from some things that happened in the past. (I don't know if you've seen the series up to where Minekura-san reveals Hakkai-san's past, so I'll leave it at that.) So it might be a while before they confess their feelings for each other. Plus, they're trying to stay good friends, which is always a roadblock to a romantic relationship. And yes, demons exist in the modern world...but to a strange sort of exception, at times. Read on and you'll eventually understand what I mean. Yes, everyone love kawaii Goku-kun...I like innocent!Goku, but the thoughtful!Goku I portrayed in this chapter is one that I like, too. I hope others like it, also. Sankyuu for the review, Joonie-san!

Mato-ko: Aii yaaa...your kind compliments are far too nice...they're making me blush! Sankyuu, Mato-sannn...I don't think I'm that good of a writer or anything, but I'm glad you liked my idea. I wanted to make something original from the usual Saiyuki fic—and heck, I'd like it if I could make something original for EVERY anime fandom!—but I still think this fic is rather mediocre. 3 Hope you liked this chapter, as well, and sankyuu for the review!

Karu Leonnese: Karu-san, you've reviewed again...thank you so much, for both the compliment and the supportive words! Anyway, I had hoped someone with such great writings like you would enjoy this chapter...I'm sorry I haven't been reviewing your fics lately—and believe me, I would if I could, you know!—but I can't review fics right. For certain reasons that I'd prefer not to divulge in. Anyway, now that I'm back, I'll be reviewing your fics more often. I love your 858 works, especially. :3 The coupling's just so interesting, and it's very enjoyable to fanfic for them! I hope you understand what I mean...although I think you do, judging from the amount of 58 stories you have. No offense, though, really. I sure don't have a reason to complain. I hope you can keep following this story; there's plenty more 585-ness to come, (although with planned 393 initiated right in this chapter, as well as probable mixings like a 583 triangle—YES, you read that right; a love triangle with Sanzou, Hakkai, and Gojyo—and some Chin Yii SouxHakkai one-sidedness will make things mighty interesting soon enough.), No more 1-chapter, 1-plot 'episodes,' after this one, also, so the flow of the writing might change Sankyuu for the review, Karu-san!

The lyrics to the song Goku was softly singing toward the end of the chapter is from the chorus of the W-INDS song, "Endless Moment." I read the song's lyrics, and I thought they fit the moment these two were having...and plus, I've just got to hear some of their songs for the first time, and I absolutely LOVE them! One more favorite band to go to my top ranking list, next to flow-war, Maroon 5, and Asian Kung-Fu Generation.

Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, and I hope to see you all next time! Sorry for the long wait for the story to continue, but I promise I'll be more frequent this time around!