The Talk
Author: Chris
Rating: G
Spoilers: Up to and including Hail and Farewell II and my stories 'The Look' 'straightened' and 'straightening'.
Summary: Mac and Harm finally have that talk.
Feedback: appreciated but neither expected nor required
This will be in alternating points of view.
Mac's POV
It's the day before Thanksgiving. Harriet and Bud are having a dinner at their house since they'll be with Harriet's parents for Christmas and won't be able to have their usual Christmas Eve dinner. I know we'll be expected to tell what we are thankful for, so I'm sitting here trying to decide what to say. I am thankful for so many things. I'm thankful that my medical condition wasn't something worse. That Harm has been there to support me through it without pushing. That Harm and I finally admitted our feelings for each other. That Clay's alive. I'm thankful to Mattie for making Harm grow up and that I have such wonderful friends. Most of all I'm just thankful for Harm. I'm thankful that he's my best friend. I'm thankful he's helped me through dealing with my condition. I'm thankful he hasn't pushed, he hasn't pushed me to tell the others about the endometriosis and he hasn't pushed me about that talk we're going to have. I'm thankful that after that first little while he knew how to support and help me, by just being there, letting me come to him when I needed to talk. It is in thinking about all this that I realize that I have come to terms with what has happened in the past year. I realize that I'm ready to have that talk with Harm. I'm going to go over there right now. If I wait I might, lose my train of thought or more importantly my nerve.
I grab my coat and gloves and head out into the crisp November air.
Harm's POV
I'm helping Mattie study for a history test when there's a knock on the door. I get up to answer it. I'm not completely surprised to see Mac on the other side. She's been dropping by more often since that talk we had a while back.
"Mac, Come on in," I say, "what brings you here?"
"Actually I was wondering if we could talk?" she says.
"Sure what's on your mind?" I ask as I guide her over to the couch.
Mattie knew we'd probably want to be alone, "I'm going to go study in my room Harm," the teen said, "Bye Mac."
"Bye Mattie," Mac says with a smile.
"Don't stay up too late," I tell Mattie, I don't want her pulling all-nighters, she can't concentrate the next day.
"I won't," she says.
"I mean it," I tell her, "I'm coming by to check on you at 11, I want you either in bed or getting ready for bed. And don't try to trick me I know all the tricks."
"Okay," Mattie says. "See ya Harm."
"Bye Mattie," I say. She walks out my door toward her own apartment.
"What's she studying for?" Mac asks.
"History," I tell her, "I was quizzing her."
"I'm sorry I interrupted," Mac says nervously, "I can come back later."
"No, you said you wanted to talk," I say, "what's on your mind."
"Us," she says.
Us? Does that mean she wants to have THAT talk?
"Us," I say, "as in ..."
I don't get I chance to finish my sentence.
"As in I'm ready to have the talk," Mac says, "I realized tonight that I'm ok with this past year. I've sorted everything out in my head. I'm ready for that talk we talked about."
"If you're sure then I'm ready too," I say.
"I'm sure," Mac replies, "but I think there are some questions that need to be asked and answered before we can move forward."
Uh oh, I can guess what some of those questions are going to be. This is not going to be fun.
"Ok, but you have to promise me a couple of things before we start," I say.
"What?" Mac asks.
"One: if I don't answer a question right away don't take it as a negative answer. Some times I just need time to put my words together. Two: if things start to get too heated we stop and pick this up another time. There's no use in having a blow out."
"I agree about not letting things get heated but when have I ever not waited for your answer?" Sarah asks.
I almost ask her if she's kidding but I stop myself. There's no use getting defensive before we even start.
"The two times that stick out in my mind are when you stopped by before going to Paraguay," I begin, "and on the Guadacanal when you asked if I would give up Renee. I did answer you, but by the time I did you were gone."
"Oh Harm I'm sorry," she says taking my hand, "I promise I'll wait this time, I'm not going anywhere."
And she does listen, to every answer and to every question. By the end of the night I understand her so much better. I understand why she pushed me away and what she meant in Sydney. On her part I can see that she understands too. I was right it was hard and painful but it was worth it. I feel something I haven't felt in a long time, I feel completely at peace. Mac's gone now and I find myself thinking about tomorrow and what I'm thankful for. Above all I'm thankful Mac, I'm thankful that she is who she is and that she accepts me for who I am. Tonight I'll fall asleep knowing that things are finally moving in the right direction with the woman I love.
The end.
A/N: I know I cheated on the conversation but there was so much to cover and so much emotion that I don't trust myself to do it justice. Hope you enjoyed it anyway.